I toss the file on the table and take another sip of my drink. “See, Max, I’m just not sure I want to go down that road. What made you feel you needed to know?”
He’s pacing, which is comforting in a strange way, probably because it’s Max’s normal.
“Jax, we are as close as any family could ever be. What if there are more like us out there? I needed to know. I went from having no one to having a family, bound by blood, not just loyalty and friendship.”
We sit in silence while I process this information. “Jax, now I need your help.”
“Anything, Max. It’s about time you ask me for something.”
“Jax, can you help me with, Jackie? I know I really cocked the whole thing up. I hurt her badly, but in my defense, I was scared I wouldn’t be me, again. My fear was that she would stay with me no matter what happened. She’s so young, I just couldn’t do that to her.”
I sit for a moment, stroking my chin and thinking about all of this. “Max, do you love her, or is it just the sex?”
“I love her,” his voice so low and vulnerable, I can barely hear him.
“Max, I know you love her, but are you in love with her? There is a big difference.”
His jaw tightens and I swear he looks as if he’s ready to punch me. “Yes damn it! I’m in love with her. There, I said it. Now, are you going to help me?” he asks almost angrily, fisting his hands.
I can tell he wants this badly, that’s all I need to know. “Okay, mate, you work on the wedding and I will work on fixing this. In the meantime, what other information do you have for me? Don’t look at me like that, Max, I know you just as well as you know me.”
He pours us another drink. “Vincent woke up. They will not be able to operate; the bullet is in a spot that they can’t access. I took my best shot, and the fucker still lived. The district attorney and the Feds wanted to meet with Raven tomorrow, but I put them off. I told you that we confirmed the woman in the park was Annabelle. She left an envelope for Raven. Before you ask, no I didn’t open it, and neither will you. It’s Raven’s, and you need to let her decide what she wants to do.”
I know he’s right, and I can’t bully her, but for fuck’s sake, will there ever be an end to this?
“Max, we need to talk about Gabriella. I really don’t think she needs to be in a clinic, however, I did notice that coming back to the city was hard for her.” I change the subject, knowing I had no good argument on the other topic.
Max hands me another file. “Here is the file with the information on the flats in this building. I highlighted the residents that I reached out to, but so far, no responses. I think it’s going to be hard for Gabriella, but she is stronger than you think. We just need to go slowly. Remember, it’s not just Raven that has changed: the entire world around her has changed. Everything from technology to terrorism. She might still think the World Trade Center is standing.”
I thank God I have Max to calm me down and juggle some of this. “I never thought about any of that, I’m just so focused on Raven and the baby.” I sit silently staring out the window, sipping my scotch until I finally get the nerve up to ask him. “Max, do we have any siblings . . . is he still alive?”
He’s silent, and after a while he hands me the folder. “When you’re ready, read it. I think you will find it very interesting.”
I pick up the folder and the letter, heading back to my place.
I LEAVE MAX’S FLAT and head next door. Everyone is still asleep; you could hear a pin drop. I sit in the living room, looking out over the park. I keep staring at the folder, wondering how it will affect my mum. She’s been through so much already, how could I possibly open this can of worms? Do I really want to know? I know the answer, no need to contemplate it any further. I have lived my life by certain rules. My very first rule is to never make a decision without knowing all the facts. That’s probably why Max had this folder ready for me—he knew. Just as I pick up the folder, Raven comes into the living room. She just woke up, her hair is tousled, and she is in one of my dress shirts. She is hauntingly beautiful.
She sees me and strolls over. I thank God everyday for how lucky I am. I open my arms and she crawls into my lap. “My beautiful girl.” I nuzzle into her neck. She giggles, and it is the most magnificent sound.
“Jax, I woke up and you were gone.”
I take a deep breath, and prepare myself to tell her about the letter. “I left you a note, sweetheart. I went next door for a bit. Max gave me this letter that was delivered for you from Annabelle. Vincent woke up; they can’t operate. The district attorney and the Feds want to talk to you, but Max put them off. I also have some papers you need to sign for the marriage license.”
She is staring blankly at the letter. “Raven, I promised I would not keep any secrets from you. You don’t have to read the letter if you don’t want to.”
Finally she takes her eyes off the letter and looks at me. “When do I have to meet with everyone?”
I pull her tight so she can feel my body envelop hers. “Max didn’t say, and I would prefer to deal with this after the wedding. I only want you to concentrate on a dress.”
She picks up the letter and hands it to me. “I don’t want this letter. Nothing she says will change the fact that my father is dead and my mother was taken away from me for twenty years. I could never believe anything she has to say, and I chose not to read it. If Max needs to read it for security purposes, then he can. Now what is in the folder?” She gestures towards it.
“I wish in some ways I was as strong as you are. That file is from Max. It’s a detailed report on our father and if we have any other siblings. Part of me wants to know, and part of me doesn’t. There is my dilemma.”
“Tell me first why you want to know, and then why you don’t. I need a pad and pen, so we can make a Pros and Cons List.” She picks up the file and I carry her into the office. I watch as her mind flips to teacher mode and fuck me—it’s sexy.
“So let’s start with why you want to know.”
“Well, what if I have more siblings? I mean, look at Max, he’s the best brother and friend anyone could ever want. What if my father is still alive? What if I could possibly find out why he did what he did?” I start to ramble out the reasons.
“Jax, would it make a difference if you knew why?”
“No, I don’t think so. Nothing he could say would justify what he did.”
She’s writing every word down. “As far as why I don’t want to know, probably because of my mum. This could open up a whole new can of worms for her. I don’t want to see her hurt anymore. She gave up so much for all of us. She has carried the guilt over Cindy for years. It wasn’t her fault, but she will never believe that. I’ve never seen my mum so vulnerable as she was tonight.”
She gets up, takes the file and puts it in the file cabinet. “Here is what I think you should do. If I were you, I would talk to your mom first. You know she must have some feelings about all of this. If she wants to know, then look at the file, but if you feel she wouldn’t be able to take it, then just burn the damn thing.”
I smile, “You know, Raven, when you get all teacher mode on me, it makes me hard.”
“Well, there’s a surprise!” Okay, she does have a point.
She’s in my lap, running her nails through my hair. I reach up and bring her hands into her lap. If I don’t, it will be game over—for sure.
“I need to talk to you about Jackie. I spoke with Max and he asked me to help him get her back. He feared he would never be back to normal, and he knew that Jackie would never walk away. We need to come up with a plan.” She gets a faraway look in her eyes.
“Jax, you need to understand we are dealing with two very stubborn individuals. We need to get them in the same room and get them talking. That’s not going to be easy. When Jackie makes up her mind about something, she’s like a bull.”
“Well, sweetheart, I have a plan just how to do that. Let’s go have a nice soak in the tub, and I will tell
you all about it.”
I’M DREAMING OF FRESH baked pastry. As I open my eyes, I realize it’s not a dream. The entire room is enveloped in the buttery sweet smell. Jax is not in bed, so I decide to follow the smell. I head out to the kitchen and find my mom and Jax having coffee and pastry together.
“Wow, something smells wonderful in here.” I take in another whiff and sigh. My mom passes me a dish with some of the most magnificent looking pastries. “Mom, did you make these?”
“Yes. Do you like pastries?”
“I don’t think I ever met anyone who didn’t. How did you learn to make all of these?”
“When your father and I first got married, we took cooking classes together. Do you like to cook?”
Jax almost chokes on his coffee. “Oh, Rose, your daughter has such unique culinary abilities. Let’s just say, with you here, there will be more to life than peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”
“Raven, I could teach you how to make some of these.”
I don’t have the heart to tell her that I hate to cook. “That would be great, Mom.”
“Ladies, before I head out there are a couple of things I need to go over with you. First, no one but my family knows who Rose really is, and we need to keep it that way. Raven, for now, please always address your mum as Rose. Sammy doesn’t know her true identity, and I would like to keep it like that. I know you have a bunch of things that you want to do today, however, never lose your detail, and keep Bo close. Rose, Max gave me a bracelet for you to wear. It has a tracking device built in. Remember to be back here to put our plan in motion for Jackie and Max,” He barks out his orders quickly, not giving any chance to be interrupted. He leans down and gives me a kiss. “I wish I could stay here forever. I love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you more, Jax.”
He grabs another pastry before running out the door. My mom makes me a coffee, and we curl up on the sofa. “He’s quite the whirlwind, Raven.”
“Yes, I guess you can call him a whirlwind.”
“Raven, will you tell me about your childhood? Were your adoptive parents good to you? I have so many questions, but I don’t want to upset you.”
I don’t know what to do. She is looking for answers and they are not all sunshine and roses. I don’t know how much I should tell her. “My adoptive parents were good until my mother died from cancer. I left home shortly after that. I teach second grade at a private school in Midtown. Jax’s nephew, Michael, is one of my students. Jackie teaches at the same school; her specialty is math. We roomed together in college. Mom, maybe we should stay focused on the present; the wedding and the baby.”
“Okay, Raven. I only hope that in time, you will share what your life was like growing up.”
I feel bad, but I don’t want her to know how much I’ve been through. I don’t want her to blame herself. “Mom, the past can never be changed. All we can do is look to the future.”
“We can take it slow, Raven. Last night, I made some sketches of gowns for you and Jackie. I thought if we went to the seamstress with some sort of idea, it would help.” She pulls out her sketchpad and begins to show me what she came up with.
“Mom, these are absolutely beautiful.” Jackie’s gown is a charcoal gray with silver running through it. She placed the accent on her legs, with a slit running up each side. “You captured Jackie’s style so perfectly.” Then she shows me what she came up with for my gown—it takes my breath away. It’s exactly what I had in my mind, simple, yet elegant. The back has a low v with lots of little buttons covered in lace. The way the front is gathered, it doesn’t show my bump. “Mom, this is perfect. I can’t wait to show Jackie.”
“Do you think the seamstress can pull these off on such short notice?”
“I’m sure Jax is paying a ridiculous amount of money to have them make whatever I ask for. I’m going to need your help with Jackie, today. After lunch, I need to get her back here so Jax and I can get her together with Max. Will you please say that you’re tired and ask me to drop you at home?”
“Well, of course, if that’s what you need me to do. But can I ask why?”
I don’t know what to tell her, or how much she could handle. “They are two stubborn people that need to be locked in the same room. They love each other, but they keep getting in their own way. Max asked Jax to help him with this.”
“Okay, Raven, I won’t ask any more questions, for now. You need to hurry up and get ready or we will never get everything done in time.”
THE TIME CHANGE HAS really thrown my body for a loop. I need to go for a run, but not too sure how Sammy is going to react to that one. I get dressed and head out to the living room, only to find him already dressed for one. “Wow, how did you know I would be running? Especially, this early.”
He gets up and disarms the alarm. “Stretch, after all these years, I know you very well. Let’s head out, and on the way back, we can grab a bite to eat.”
We head out the door, and Sammy informs my other guard where we are headed. I haven’t run with Sammy for a while, but we fall right into step. There is an ease about Sammy and I realize I miss this. When we finish, we head to the local coffee shop for some breakfast.
“So, Stretch, do you want to tell me why this guy, Max, has the family up in arms?”
Do I want to tell Sammy? How much should I share with him? “Well, he’s different than anyone I’ve ever dated.”
He stares at me over the rim of his coffee cup. “I can wait all day, if that’s what it takes. Don’t even think of trying to blow me off on this one. I’ve known you for a very long time. You don’t give away your heart that easily. So, what is it about this man that has your panties in a bunch?”
Ha, “Yeah, they are in a bunch—that’s for sure. He is older, thirty-eight to be exact, and he . . . I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Okay, let me ask you this. Do you love him?”
I nod, “Very much so.”
“So, what happened that sent you running across the Atlantic in the middle of the night?”
I trust Sammy. I know he would never betray a confidence. “I will tell you everything, but it is between us, okay?”
I take a deep breath and tell Sammy how Max came into my life. All the months of craziness that ensued up to Max getting shot in the head. “I stayed by his bedside the entire time, and when he woke up, he barely said two words to me. Then I’m outside the door, and I hear him tell Jax to help him get rid of me. I can’t begin to tell you how much that hurt me. I love him, but I’m not sure if I can survive another rejection like that. I gave him all of me, Sammy, so what do I do?”
A lone tear slides down my cheek. Sammy reaches over and wipes it away. “Well, Stretch, it’s like this. Part of me wants to snap him in two, and the other part wants to shake his hand. He sent you away, even though it hurt you and probably him, because he didn’t want you burdened with his recovery. You know, what if he wasn’t one hundred percent? Knowing you, the way I do, you would have stayed by his side—no matter what the outcome. What kind of life would that be for you? The other part of me wants to throttle him for hurting you. I think there are two questions you need to ask yourself: can you forgive him, and do you even want a relationship with this man?”
I have ripped my napkin into a million pieces. “You know he’s Jax’s best man. The wedding is Friday, so I guess I need to figure this out real quick.”
We leave the café and head towards home. I still don’t have a clue as to what I’m going to do. Maybe I will when I see him. As we round the corner for my place, I see the limo sitting there, and I know it’s for me. Raven and Bo get out of the car. Bo sees me first, and his tail is going crazy!
“Raven, why are you here so early?”
She grabs my hand, pulling me into the lobby. “You need to shower and make it really quick. The wedding is tomorrow afternoon at three o’clock, and we have a lot to do. I’ll be waiting in the car with Rose, so hurry!”
Okay, I can tell the n
ext few days we will be operating the way Jax does—One hundred mph!
“OKAY, WHAT’S THE PLAN?” I ask, once Sammy and I climb into the limo, freshly showered and ready to take on the events of the day.
Raven opens up a box of my favorite chocolates and passes it to me. “Fuel for the adventure. Jax arranged a seamstress to make our gowns. She will be at The Tower later.” She smiles over at her mom. Rose immediately pulls out a sketchpad. “Look what Rose, did last night. They are unreal, Jackie.”
My eyes grow wide as soon as I look. “Oh my God, Rose, they’re unbelievable!” I’m glad I’m remembering to call her Rose instead of Gabriella. I’m sure it’s hardest on Raven, trying not to slip up.
“I designed Raven’s around her bump and yours, around your beautiful legs.”
Sammy is laughing, “Now, you know why I’ve always called her ‘Stretch’!” Everyone chuckles. I nudge him with my elbow, playfully.
“Jackie, I don’t think the seamstress will have a problem having them done in time. I’m sure Jax is probably paying her a ridiculous amount of money for her to do it,” Raven gets back to the topic at hand. “We have some errands to run before we meet with the seamstress. I need to go buy a gift for Jax.” I’m not sure what I want to get him,” she rambles. My friend is going to drive herself crazy if she doesn’t calm down and take a breather.
Rose takes her hand. “What about a watch? You can get it engraved.”
Raven starts laughing so hard, tears are rolling down her face. “Um, I had to buy Jax a new watch the other day because I took his twenty-thousand dollar watch and threw it across the room, shattering it. In my defense, he had the alarm set to feed me. It drove me crazy. And . . . who in their right mind would even spend that on a watch? Like really?!”
We are all laughing as we pull up to our first stop—Tiffany’s. “I want to get a gift for An,” Raven says before we get out, “and my mom,” she whispers in my ear. She finds a beautiful diamond necklace with a little charm on it that says, ‘Thank you for raising my happily ever after.’ It’s perfect for An. I help her to find a very delicate watch for her mom. She has them both engraved, ‘Time to live again.’ Now, it’s off to Cartier, where she finds a special pocket watch for Michael Jr. She has them engrave the inside with, ‘Future Time, Lord.’ He’ll definitely love that.
Darkness into Dawn (The Unraveled Trilogy Book 2) Page 16
