Feels Like Family

by Sherryl Woods

  “I don’t imagine you call him to ask about all those things, though, do you?” Erik asked, pretty certain the nineteen-year-old star baseball prospect wouldn’t take kindly to such questions from his mother.

  “Are you crazy?” she asked, laughing. “He’d never come home again. I just drive Cal crazy asking him if he thinks Ty is doing all those things. Periodically, I catch Cal telling Ty that I’ve been pestering him about stuff like that. They commiserate over how nutty I am, what a mom I am.”

  Just then she pulled up in front of the emergency entrance. “You go in. I’ll park the car,” she told him. “Helen needs you right now more than she needs me.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” Erik said. “I did a fairly lousy job of handling this particular crisis.”

  “Maybe, but you have a lot of other things going for you, including the fact that you love her to pieces. That’s what matters. Maybe you can finally tell her that.”

  With Maddie’s words resounding in his head, he went inside to find his wife.

  His wife. Calling her that still had the power to amaze him.

  “I’m looking for Helen Whitney,” he told the nurse at triage. “Or Helen Decatur. I’m not sure how she registered.”

  “Just married,” the nurse guessed. “She couldn’t decide, either. She’s in cubicle eight. I think she’d be happy to see your handsome face about now. She’s waiting for the obstetrician to get here.”

  Erik’s heart sank. “Is there a problem with the baby?”

  “Not that we know of. It’s just a precaution after the trauma she’s been through. Dr. Wilson recommended it.”

  Erik nodded, relieved that Emily Wilson had been on duty. At least hers would have been a familiar face for Helen. “Thanks,” he said as he started toward the back.

  “By the way,” the nurse called out, “she’s registered as Helen Whitney. Guess she took those vows seriously.”

  Erik couldn’t stop the smile that crept across his face as he went in search of Helen. If she’d wanted to disavow their marriage because of his failure to protect her or because he’d bolted from her office, she would’ve stuck with her maiden name. Maybe he had one more chance to get this right, after all.

  The pain medicine had made Helen groggy, but she knew the instant that Erik came into her cubicle and took the seat beside her.

  Fighting to open her eyes, she managed a faint smile. “Hi. You came. I wasn’t sure you would.”

  “Maddie and Dana Sue were pretty persuasive,” he admitted.

  Her smile wobbled. “Did they beat you up?” she asked, actually sounding a little worried that they might have.

  He laughed. “No, they didn’t need to go that far.” His expression sobered. “How are you feeling?”

  “Dopey. They patched up my arm.”

  “Any twinges with the baby?”

  She shook her head. Her hand instinctively went to her stomach. “I think she’s okay, but the doctor’s going to make sure.”

  He gave her an odd look. “She?”

  “Or he,” she said. “Just not ‘it,’ okay?”

  “Understood. Look, you need to rest. I’ll be in the waiting room with Maddie.”

  He started to stand up, but Helen latched on to his hand. “No,” she commanded. “Don’t leave me again, please. I’m scared, Erik. Really scared. And nobody will tell me what happened to Brad. He didn’t get away, did he?”

  “You don’t need to worry about Brad ever again.”

  “Why? Tell me.”

  “He shot himself. He’s dead,” he said, sitting back down beside her. He kept her hand in his, his thumb idly caressing her knuckles, his thoughts seemingly far away.

  Her relief that Brad was gone lasted only a moment. “Erik?”

  He looked into her eyes. “What?”

  “Why did you take off back at my office? You know none of this was your fault, don’t you? You weren’t there. There was nothing you could have done to stop it.”

  “I’m not so sure about that,” he said. “But Maddie convinced me that maybe there’s enough blame to go around.”

  “But there was something more going on with you, something that went deeper than what happened today. I could sense it.”

  His expression shut down. “It’s nothing for you to worry about,” he told her. “All that matters is making sure you and the baby are okay. Close your eyes and rest ’til the doctor gets here.”

  When she would have probed a little more deeply, he gave her a warning look. “I mean it,” he said. “Rest or I’ll leave.”

  She sighed and closed her eyes. Maybe he thought he could stall her now, but he surely knew he wouldn’t be able to stall her forever. She was a pro at interrogation, at least when she was at the top of her game. In a few days, fewer if she concentrated hard on making a quick recovery, she’d get the answers she was after.

  Karen and Tess exchanged a look as Dana Sue flew around the kitchen snapping out orders. Finally Karen grabbed her by the shoulders and marched her toward a stool.

  “Sit,” she ordered. “You need to calm down and eat something.”

  “I can’t eat,” Dana Sue grumbled, but she accepted the dish of chicken salad Karen handed her. “Why haven’t we heard anything from the hospital?”

  “Probably because they don’t know anything yet,” Karen soothed. “I’m sure Helen is fine. Maddie would have called immediately if things were bad, so you could get over there.”

  “I suppose,” Dana Sue said, eating a bite of the chicken salad and then another. Finally she looked up, a curious expression on her face. “This is different. What did you add to it? Dill?”

  “Just a little,” Karen said. “Is it okay?”

  “It’s fabulous.”

  “I was thinking of adding toasted walnuts, too, or maybe almonds. What do you think?”

  Dana Sue took another bite. “Almonds, I think. I love walnuts in salads, but they’re best sprinkled on the top. People need to know they’re in there. Otherwise, they’re liable to think they’re biting down on a piece of bone. Almonds aren’t quite as crunchy.”

  “Good point,” Karen said. “Anyway, I thought it might be a nice change from the pineapple chicken salad we do now. We could rotate them seasonally or something.”

  “I’ve been thinking about that myself,” Dana Sue said. “I think we ought to have a new menu each season with some of the favorites, of course, but a few new dishes as well. We’d still have specials, too, but I think change might keep our regulars coming in— You know, in case they get tired of the same old things.”

  “I have some ideas if you want to hear them,” Karen said, barely able to contain her excitement. At Dana Sue’s nod, she pulled a stool up next to her.

  “Fresh tomatoes are still available. We’ve never tried a tomato and buffalo mozzarella salad. Or a bruschetta. Those are terrific in warm weather and we have another couple of months of that, at least.”

  “It would be a change from the house salad or sliced tomatoes and onions,” Dana Sue agreed. “Do you think our customers are ready for that kind of change?”

  Karen nodded eagerly. “Sure. Just look at how much they loved the gazpacho. Sullivan’s is known for being innovative. People can make a plain old salad or sliced tomatoes at home. They don’t need us for that.”

  Dana Sue grinned. “Good point. Okay, what else?”

  “Last summer Erik made a lot of cobblers, but what about fruit tarts instead?”

  “I love it,” Dana Sue said, clearly catching her enthusiasm. “He can do a wonderful pastry, then add a thin layer of custard and top it with fresh fruits and berries. They’ll taste great and look fabulous if we finally get that big color-photo spread in one of the regional magazines.” She studied Karen. “You’re good at this. I hope I tell you that enough.”

  “You do,” Karen said.

  Dana Sue studied her. “And things are better at home now, aren’t they? Your life has settled down?”

  Karen nodde
d. “I finally feel as if I’m back in control. Elliott’s helped with that. He’s been a rock. Frances, too.”

  “Are you and Elliott getting serious?”

  “He is,” she admitted. “But there are complications.”

  Dana Sue regarded her with concern. “Oh? Anything you want to talk about?”

  “No,” Karen said. “I don’t want to bring my problems to work, not anymore.”

  “Maybe you could think of it as sharing them with a friend,” Dana Sue said.

  “You’re still my boss,” Karen reminded her.

  Dana Sue frowned slightly. “We’re a team, Karen. You and Tess and Erik are all like family to me. Okay, it’s a work family, but the feelings are there, just the same. I care about what’s going on with you, I really do. I know it might not have seemed that way a few weeks ago, but even when Erik and I were stressed out and annoyed because you weren’t here, we still cared about you.”

  Tears stung Karen’s eyes. “I know, it’s just that I need to know I can solve my own problems. Maybe that’ll change one day, but for now it’s important to me.”

  Dana Sue reached over and squeezed her hand. “As long as you know I’m here if you need me, I can respect your need to do things your own way.” She stood up. “Now we’d better get back to work or the dinner crowd will be dining on leftover cheese grits from lunch. They might be great with a slice of ham, but they sure won’t go over as a main course.”

  Before she walked away, she turned back to Karen. “Thanks for distracting me and keeping me from climbing the walls.”

  “No problem. It was survival instinct.”

  Dana Sue winced. “I was that bad?”

  “Pretty much, but not to worry. I’m sure we’ll hear something from the hospital soon and you’ll really be able to relax.”

  After that, they all fell back into their usual routine, including Tess, who’d made herself scarce while Karen had been talking to Dana Sue.

  It was nearly five before the phone rang. Dana Sue grabbed it on the first ring, mumbled replies Karen couldn’t hear, then hung up. But when she turned around she was smiling. “Helen and the baby are both okay. Erik and Maddie are bringing them home. They didn’t even insist on her staying overnight for observation.” Dana Sue grinned. “Probably because they figured they’d never hear the end of it if they tried.”

  “Thank God,” Karen said as Tess sketched a cross over her chest.

  “Amen to that,” Dana Sue said. “Now, let’s get busy, ladies. The hungry hordes will be here any minute. And if I haven’t said it before, thank you both for pitching in and picking up the slack today. You’re angels.”

  The sincerity in Dana Sue’s voice filled Karen with happiness and pride. Only a few short months ago, she’d been on the verge of losing this job. Now she knew she was capable of making a real contribution here. And it did feel as if she’d found more than a job—she’d found a family. Add in Daisy and Mack, Elliott and Frances, and her life was full.

  Erik knew he’d accused Helen of being obsessive-compulsive, but when it came down to it, where the baby was concerned, he had her beat by a mile. The thought of another pregnancy, another baby, cast a shadow over everything. Ever since the close call with Brad Holliday, he found himself watching Helen just about around the clock. He went to every doctor appointment, but he wasn’t half as reassured as she seemed to be when she received a clean bill of health. He’d asked so many questions on their last visit that the obstetrician had joked that next time he’d schedule two appointments, one for each of them.

  If Helen woke in the middle of the night with a craving, he saw to it she got whatever she wanted. If she looked tired, he couldn’t rest ’til she was in bed or on the sofa with her feet up. He dreaded a time when the doctor might insist on complete bed rest, because he knew with absolute certainty he’d have a fight on his hands. Helen was incapable of staying still that long. Thankfully, though, she’d kept her blood pressure in check so far.

  When he first saw the baby on a sonogram, the last of his anger at the circumstances of the baby’s conception drained away, and he was completely captivated by this child he’d never expected to have. The power that tiny baby had over him was astounding.

  They’d agreed they didn’t want to know the sex ahead of time, but Erik was convinced it was a boy. Helen seemed just as convinced it was a girl. They spent hour after hour debating names. Their first list had taken up two pages. Now they’d whittled it down to ten possibilities for a boy and eight for a girl. All of it had made this baby real for him, something he’d vowed not to let happen. He hadn’t wanted to start loving it too much. He hadn’t wanted to start eagerly awaiting the moment when it arrived in this world.

  Helen put up with his attentiveness with surprising docility. In fact, as the weeks wore on, her hard edges seemed to fade and she seemed to enjoy being pampered, even if she did regard him with curiosity when he insisted on taking care of the simplest tasks.

  Finally, when she was six months along and still in apparently perfect health, she reacted as he’d expected her to react much sooner. She lost patience and openly rebelled at his protectiveness.

  “Okay, enough’s enough. What’s going on here?” she demanded when he’d jumped up to get the pen she said she needed to jot down notes for her closing statement in court in the morning. “You know I can walk across the room for a pen. I’m perfectly capable of getting myself a glass of water, too, even if it does mean I’ll be waddling down the hall to the bathroom ten minutes later. I know Ronnie went a little crazy when Dana Sue was pregnant, and Cal almost drove Maddie insane with his hovering, so I’ve tried to be tolerant. But you’ve taken this to new heights, Erik. Why? It has to stop.”

  Erik shook his head. “It’s not going to stop,” he said tersely.

  “Then I’ll ask you again, why? It’s not just about me, is it? Or even our baby. There’s something else going on. I guessed that when you took off after Brad shot me. I let you get away with not answering me back then, but I’ve had it. Talk to me.”

  Erik wasn’t entirely sure why he hadn’t blurted out the story long before now. He’d hinted at it back when he’d first found out she was pregnant, but both of them had been so upset that day his comment about his already losing one baby had apparently gone right over her head.

  Of course, after Sam had died, everyone had tiptoed around him, not even mentioning her name most of the time, so he’d gotten used to keeping his feelings bottled up inside.

  Worse, everyone had pretended the baby had simply never existed, but she had been as real to him as if he’d held her in his arms. He’d felt her stirring in Sam’s belly. Though he’d felt incredibly silly doing it, he’d sung lullabies to her and even read her stories. He knew that she kicked up a storm when Sam ate spicy food and rested peacefully at the sound of his voice.

  Even now, nearly seven years later, his emotions were nearly as raw as they’d been back then, especially lately. He gazed into Helen’s eyes, saw her expectation. She was going to wait him out this time. Keeping quiet about the details of Sam’s death and his child’s was no longer an option, not if they were to have a prayer of making this marriage work.

  “You know I was married before,” he began, trying to keep his voice steady.

  Helen nodded. “And she died, right?”

  “Yes, she died,” he said, his voice strained.

  Sympathy washed over her face. “You’ve never said what happened. She had to be so young. Was she sick or in an accident?”

  Both were natural assumptions given the age Sam had been when she’d died. Erik hesitated to voice the truth, especially with their own baby due in a few months. The timing for this revelation sucked, but it was no one’s fault but his own.

  “I’m not sure I ought to be telling you any of this now,” he began. “It’s the wrong time.”

  “I need to know,” she said. “Please.”

  Still he hesitated, but her gaze remained steady. The questions clear
ly weren’t going away. “Okay, here it is. Sam was pregnant. She went into premature labor. She started bleeding and I couldn’t get it stopped. You know I was an EMT, and I was right there. I did everything by the book. Everyone said so.”

  He closed his eyes, fighting the memory or maybe trying to avoid the worry he was bound to cause her. Finally he forced himself to meet her gaze, prepared for the shock and dismay he would find there once he said the rest. “Before we got to the hospital, she’d already lost too much blood. Nothing I tried worked, and Lord knows, I tried everything. By the time the ambulance came and we got Sam to the hospital, she’d bled to death. We lost the baby, too.”

  He felt the same sense of helplessness now. “I know I’m making you a little nuts with my hovering, but I can’t stop it, Helen. I won’t.”

  “Oh, Erik, I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I can’t even begin to imagine how painful that must have been for you.”

  She reached for his hand and pulled him down beside her, then placed his hand on her belly, where their baby was kicking up a storm as if aware that a point needed to be made.

  “See, we’re fine,” she told him softly.

  Erik stretched out beside her, his hand still resting on her taut stomach.

  Not this time, he pleaded with God. Don’t let me lose this woman or this child. Somewhere along the way he’d fallen in love with Helen. This unborn child, like another one, had crept into his heart. He’d started to count on them being a family. If that changed, if he lost them, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to fight his way through the anguish a second time.

  23

  As she approached her ninth month, Helen felt like a blimp. Her feet were so swollen she couldn’t wear a single pair of the dozens of outrageously expensive shoes in her closet. She’d been wearing a pair of old sneakers with no laces for two weeks now. Fortunately, given the size of her stomach, she couldn’t see the disgusting things.