Southern Spice (Southern Desires Series Book 1)

by Jeannette Winters

  Casey looked around. The ranch was such a beautiful place but for him, it was a memory that held him to his past and, from the look on his face, one that he wasn’t willing to let go. There was no room in his life for her, for anybody really, until he somehow found a way to deal with his loss. Who knows, maybe he never will.

  “McLean handles this place. Unless there is a reason for me to come, I don’t. And even then, I take care of whatever issue there is, and then I’m gone.”

  He became silent again. How she wished she could watch and read his mind. Casey felt happy he was opening up and sharing with her, but she knew there was so much more he wasn’t saying. Just be happy for what he is saying. This story, these painful memories, have to come out on his time. I can’t force it, or I’ll push him away. And right now, I don’t want to be anywhere but with him. But I get the feeling he doesn’t want me here. This is his and Penny’s home. They were a family. I don’t belong here.

  Still looking toward the hilltop, Derrick continued. “The most time I’ve spent here in years is this past week.”

  “Why?” She bit her lip. Casey hadn’t wanted to break his train of thought, but the question slipped out anyway.

  Since the deep conversation had started, Derrick turned and faced her again. He looked as though he was searching her eyes for the answer to her question. If I knew the answer, I wouldn’t have asked. I shouldn’t have asked anyway. No matter what you say, it won’t change a darn thing.

  He spoke only one word. It was so powerful, it shook her to her toes.

  “You.”

  Were her ears playing tricks on her? Could he really have said it was her? That made no sense. He pushed her away, then pulled her back, only to push her away again. Derrick was on an emotional roller coaster, and she didn’t want to be on the ride with him. I want to help you, Derrick, but I don’t want to get hurt. And putting any hope in us being together would more than likely end with me trying to survive a broken heart.

  When Derrick pulled Casey away from her birthday party, he never expected them to end up sitting outside his house talking, with him opening up to her. This night was certainly not typical for him, nor was it the hot steamy night he’d envisioned. What am I thinking? Nothing about Casey has ever been reasonable since the first night I found her in that ravine. It’s as fucked up as it can get. I kissed her then talked to her about my deceased wife. She must think I’m fucking nuts.

  Casey’s big brown eyes were fixed on him. If she thought she could figure him out, she should give up now. He was complex. And that was on a good day. Normally he was just a complete asshole, never giving anyone else any thought or concern. I wasn’t always that way, but now after all the hurt and devastation, I can’t change. Too much has happened. It’s too late.

  “Derrick.” Her voice, soft like an angel, pulled at his heart. “How? Why did you . . .”

  He didn’t want to speak. Already too much had been said. Any more and she’d see him for what a self-centered, egotistic jerk he was.

  “Casey, stay with me.”

  Her hand jerked in his. Although he’d made his desire for her clear earlier, she seemed to have forgotten why they were back at the ranch. Had the opportunity slipped by? Was she put off by what he’d shared with her? Who wouldn’t be? I hate thinking about it. I’m sure hearing it isn’t much better.

  “I’m afraid of . . .”

  Me? I would never hurt you. What am I thinking? Of course I will. That’s what I do. I hurt those closest to me. If she couldn’t bring herself to say it, he had no problem saying it for her. “Me.”

  She met his gaze but turned her face away from his before answering. “Of what tomorrow will bring.”

  He no longer let himself think of tomorrows, as they weren’t guaranteed. All he could offer her was here and now. For someone like Casey, that wasn’t enough. She deserved someone who could give her more, make promises and actually hold to them. Nothing in his life was going to change until he fulfilled his promise to Penny and Kim. Once the truth was out about their death, maybe then he could look toward a future. Right now, he lived day-to-day. One minute at a time.

  Derrick reached up and touched her face, turning her to face him again. Damn, I could get lost in those beautiful brown eyes of yours.

  “Tomorrows don’t exist for me. I can’t offer you anything beyond tonight, Casey.” He stroked her cheek gently with his thumb, being up-front and honest with her. He knew it wouldn’t take much enticing to get her into his bed. He ached for her, but he wasn’t going to lie. Casey had the right to know what type of person she was dealing with, and what he could and couldn’t offer her.

  She wasn’t saying a word. Her eyes were pleading with him. For what he wasn’t sure. Should he start the truck and take her back to town? Should he pull her into his arms and kiss her wildly as his body was begging him to do?

  Casey closed her eyes, leaned her cheek into his hand, and placed a gentle kiss on it. His chest pounded because of that one simple, intimate gesture. He had his answer.

  “How do you feel about spending the night under the stars?” His voice was husky with need.

  Casey didn’t open her eyes, yet a soft sensual moan filled the night air. “As long as you choose a place the deputy won’t be patrolling, it sounds wonderful.”

  He loved the curl of her lips as she teased him. Many women wouldn’t have found any humor in that situation, but Casey was so different. It was refreshing and irresistible. “We’ll save the handcuffs for another time.”

  Her eyes shot open, and he thought maybe he’d gone too far. But they sparkled as though his offer tempted her as well. Sweet and spicy. You’re full of surprises aren’t you, Casey?

  Leaning over the console, he kissed her lips briefly before releasing her. He hopped out of the truck and walked around to the passenger’s door, lifted her into his arms, and carried her to the barn. She wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled up against him. Her body was so fresh, so cool against his hot body. He stood still for a moment, inhaling her sweet scent then slowly let her down to stand in front of him.

  He watched her look around and her tiny nose crinkled at the aroma. Baby, I might not be the most romantic man, but I think I can do better than a horse barn.

  “Wait a minute while I saddle Spirit up.”

  “Why? Where are we going?” Casey clung to him, and he didn’t want to let her go.

  “A place we can enjoy the stars,” he said, kissing her and gently biting her bottom lip, “and each other.” Derrick felt her tremble in his arms. “Soon, baby. Give me five minutes then we’re out of here.”

  Although he hated being on the ranch, he was confident and skilled around horses, but he’d never saddled one quite so quickly before. Spirit seemed to read the urgency in him and cooperated nicely. Derrick grabbed a blanket from the cabinet and placed it in the saddlebag before returning to Casey.

  She was still at the barn door. She seemed to be staring off into the distance. Was she getting cold feet? Damn, I shouldn’t have let her go. But taking her back to the house would’ve been a mistake. Neither of us would have been comfortable there. Now it looks like it doesn’t matter anyway.

  He walked up behind her with Spirit’s reins in his hand. She didn’t seem to notice him approaching. Oh yeah, she’s miles away. Maybe being together would’ve been something we both regretted in the morning. But God, woman, I never thought I would ever feel—

  “Beautiful.”

  “What?”

  She leaned back against him. “The sky. Its beauty is endless.”

  He bent and kissed her neck. “Like yours.”

  Sweeping her into his arms, he lifted her to the saddle then climbed behind her. Unlike the first time they were on Spirit together when she leaned into his body, he now welcomed her closeness. Actually craved it. His left hand caressed her thigh as they made their way away from the house. There was a special place he went to whenever he came to Texas. A place of solitude where he saw many su
nrises. A place he wanted to share with her.

  The moon lit the way, but he knew the path from frequently traveling it in the dark. Spirit, on the other hand, didn’t seem to appreciate such a late night ride and continued to try to turn around and head back to the barn. If he’d spent more time on the ranch, his horse might obey him better, but somehow he doubted it. The horse, like him, only wanted to do what he damn well pleased, as stubborn as a jackass. Not a great match.

  As they came over the final ridge, the vast open field became visible. Casey looked up, her breath catching in her throat. “Wow, the sky shines like there are thousands of twinkling diamonds. I have honestly never seen so many stars at once.”

  “You only can appreciate them when you’re away from the lights of the city.” He stopped and slid off Spirit. “Sit tight for a minute while I find a rock to tie him to.”

  “Seriously, a rock? Will that hold him?”

  “He’ll stay. You see all that grass? He won’t move from it; he’ll still be there at daylight eating.”

  After a few feet, he found the small boulder he’d used in the past and tied the reins the best he could. It wasn’t perfect but it would do. Coming around to the right side of Spirit, he reached his arms up to Casey, who eagerly accepted his offer.

  While holding her hand, Derrick reached into the saddle bag and pulled out the large blanket, then guided her to the lush grassed area about thirty feet from his horse. He spread the blanket, which thankfully covered a large space. He had every intention of enjoying every inch of her, and he didn’t want any restrictions. I won’t mind enjoying you all night and into the morning.

  For the first time, he saw her hesitate as he drew her to him onto the blanket. “Derrick, I just remembered that I . . . don’t . . .”

  I want you. I’m not sure if I can cope if you say no now. “Don’t what?”

  Casey looked away from him as she spoke. “I don’t have any protection with me. I’m on the pill, but I don’t have any condoms.”

  It wasn’t something he’d thought he’d ever need when he’d put them in his wallet a year ago. He wasn’t even sure what had possessed him to purchase them back then, let alone have them in my wallet. At that time, holding someone in his arms was the furthest thing from his mind. Now, it was all he could think about. And not just any woman, but one spicy FEMA agent who had more spunk than anyone he’d ever met. Even now, you’ve got the balls to say what you need. Is there anything you’re afraid of?

  Derrick pulled his wallet from the back pocket of his jeans, opened it, and pulled out two foiled wrappers. He tossed them onto the blanket before pulling her into his arms. Sitting on the blanket lit by the stars alone, she was simply stunning. He had no idea where she got her outfit, but at that moment, he was so thankful for it. Those jeans . . . should be illegal. The clothes aren’t Penny’s. This is a side of Casey he’d yet to see. Red was most definitely her color. “You’re so damn beautiful. I need to see you, all of you.”

  He pulled at the base of her shirt, which hugged her breasts, teasing him. She lifted her arms so he could pull it over her head. Once free he tossed it to the grass before reaching for the button on her jeans, then the zipper. As he slid them over her hips, his fingers brushed her cool flesh. Every place his hands touched, he hungered to kiss. He bent down and lifted one foot out then the other until she was free of her sexy-as-fuck boots. Her pants were next. Both were tossed onto the grass with the shirt.

  Now only in her bra and panties, he studied her. God, woman, you’re more beautiful than I imagined.

  Casey reached out to him and started to unbutton his shirt. She was moving teasingly slow, but he wanted it now. When he reached up to assist her, she brushed his hands away. He watched her eyes as she undressed him. Her eyes were becoming darker with each movement. It was as though she was making love to him with just her glances and touches. Those simple pleasures had his body on fire. Oh baby, going slow is not going to be easy. Not the way you’re looking at me.

  Once his shirt had been removed along with his pants and boots, she reached her tiny hand out to him. He couldn’t stop looking at her. He’d always been attracted to tall, curvy women. Casey was almost a foot shorter than him, and everything was tiny, delicate looking. Perfection.

  Her silky skin seemed to glow, drawing him to her. Derrick took the hand she offered and pulled her against him.

  “Sweetness, you look like a fucking goddess in the moonlight.”

  He reached up behind her and found the clip holding her hair up. A mass of long brown silken waves fell past her shoulder and rested on her chest, covering her breast. When he brushed it away, Casey closed her eyes and arched her back. Derrick cupped her breast, causing the nipple to become a hard peak, even through the lacy fabric. Casey reached behind her and unhooked her bra; he watched her as she slipped one strap off her shoulder then the other. The only thing holding it was his hands.

  She reached up and covered his hands with hers. While meeting his eyes, she pulled his hands away, allowing the bra to fall to the blanket. Casey, do you know what you’re doing to me? It’s been so long. Too long.

  Casey, still covering his hands with hers, brought them back to her breasts, never breaking eye connection with him. As he palmed her breast, her gaze traveled from his eyes. Her hands reached out and ever so gently touched his shoulders. Using only her fingertips, she ran her hands over his biceps, along his forearm, then back up to his shoulders.

  He wanted to bend and take her into his mouth, but he didn’t want to stop her from exploring him. Her cool hands were like heaven against the heat of his body. When she moved from his shoulders and changed from the tips of her fingers to her fingernails, she brought her hands down the front of his chest, over his pecks, down his abs to the waistband of his briefs. He thought he’d explode as he watched her tongue lick her lips as she slipped a finger inside his waistband and slowly tried to inch them downward. What the fuck woman? This is going to be over even before it starts if you don’t stop.

  Derrick removed his hands from her breasts and reluctantly pulled her hands away from him. It was so tempting to let her slide her hands down and grab his hard cock, but his control would be lost if she did. “Sweetness, what are you trying to do to me?”

  Her seductive doe-like eyes were looking up at him hungrily. “Don’t you like my touch?”

  “You know I do. But you’re so tiny, I don’t want to hurt you, and you’re driving me crazy right now.” Picking her up into his arms, so her naked breast pressed against his chest, he said, “I want to make you tremble, beg me for more.”

  Her eyes widened. Had he shocked her? That was impossible. She’d been all too comfortable touching him to be shy now. Was it possible she wasn’t as experienced as she had been pretending to be? As he looked more closely in her eyes, he saw it was true. Although her actions said spicy as hell, her eyes suggested sweet. One hell of a combination.

  Holding her in his arms, he dropped to his knees on the blanket. Laying her gently on her back, he propped himself on his elbows as not to crush her with his weight. Her dark hair sprawled out on the blanket, and he yearned to tangle his fingers in it, to claim her as his.

  “God, Casey, I can’t . . . too incredible to resist any longer,” Derrick said before claiming her lips. Slowly at first, he traced her lips with his tongue, teasing and encouraging her to open for him. He felt her tremble beneath him. He nibbled on her bottom lip then slipped the tip of his tongue past her lips. She opened to him and began to taste him as well. Yeah, show me what you like.

  He leaned his weight to one side and ran his hand up her thigh, over her hips, to her stomach, and came to rest on one perfect breast. She moaned into his mouth and arched her back to get closer to him. She responded to every touch, every flick of his tongue. He loved knowing he could drive her crazy with such a simple touch and kiss, but he wanted to give her more. I want to blow your mind, Casey.

  His mouth left hers and trailed kisses down her neck to h
er collarbone. Grinding his hips and hard cock against her, showing her what effect she was having on him, he continued his descent. Derrick finally stopped at her breast and replaced his hand with his mouth. Taking her nipple gently into his mouth, he sucked and nibbled it.

  “Derrick,” she said in barely a whisper. She clung to his shoulders, pulling him closer to her as she pleaded for more. Only when he thought she couldn’t take anymore, he moved his attention to her other breast, repeating the process. She may be tiny, but each breast fit perfectly in his hand, and her nipples stood erect as he flicked them with his tongue. When he nipped one lightly, she dug her nails gently into his back. Wait, baby, this is only the beginning. I am going to make you cry out my name.

  Removing his mouth, he trailed his kisses lower, first her ribcage then her flat stomach. As he kissed the front of her matching lace panties, he felt her hand push on his shoulders. He ignored her, his hand sliding beneath the waist of her panties. This time, her push had more force, but her tiny frame wasn’t going to be able to budge him. He lifted his head and looked at her, puzzled. The hot sultry eyes were now filled with panic. Why? How had he scared her? Was he going too fast for her? That’s impossible. She’s the one who turned on the heat. It’s something else, but what? God, I’m so out of practice with reading women. I’m so fucked. “What is it, sweetness?” He couldn’t believe it. She was blushing.

  “I . . . never . . .”

  “Are you a virgin?” He pulled his hand out of her panties, as the thought both excited him and terrified him. They had no future, and she shouldn’t have her first time with someone who didn’t believe in tomorrows.

  “No. Of course not. I’m thirty years old.”

  “Then what is it?”

  “No one has ever . . . you know, kissed me there.”

  She has to be kidding. A stunning woman like her and no man had ever wanted to taste her? What kind of selfish lovers had she been with? That wasn’t going to be her experience tonight. Not if he could help it.