Forgotten Husband

by Susan Bella Ikin

  “Oh, Mitch, I’m so sorry. This must be so difficult for you, if I could make it better I would”.

  “Helen, having you here in my arms goes a long way towards making things better. I’ve missed holding you of a night, and waking up to you in the morning. Two years is a long time”.

  I held Mitch’s gaze for a while before venturing to say what was on my mind.

  “Mitch, if there has been someone else, if you were lonely when you thought I might be dead, I wouldn’t blame you – “

  I didn’t get to finish what I was saying as Mitch moved suddenly and I found myself lying on my back, with him looming over me.

  “I told you Helen, there was no-one else. I kept expecting you to come back, and then you didn’t. I couldn’t even think about another woman, all I could think about was you, and worry about what had happened to you. I don’t lie, so just put that thought out of your mind”.

  I smiled then, and let Mitch know how happy he had made me.

  “I’m so happy you said that. I know I said I wouldn’t blame you, but I’m still jealous enough to be happy that you didn’t fall for anyone else. There was no-one for me either”.

  “Mmm, that’s good”, Mitch said as he started nuzzling my neck again, “At least we both know we don’t have to get tested for anything. We didn’t use any protection you know”.

  I stilled, while it was good to know that both of us were still clean, there was another issue.

  “I’m not on the pill, Mitch”.

  “Does it matter?” Mitch asked, working his way down to my breasts. “It wouldn’t bother me if you got pregnant, would it bother you?”

  In grabbed Mitch’s face and tilted it so that I could see into his eyes, and could see for myself how sincere he was. I pulled him up so that I could kiss him, and as we made love again I wished that I could remember him. We felt so good together that I knew I must have lots of wonderful memories that I couldn’t recall, and I wanted to, so badly.

  We made love several times more that night, and in the morning I cracked an eye open on hearing Mitch in the shower. I got out of bed and went to Mitch’s wardrobe, pulling out a robe, and belting it as I went to the bathroom. I leaned on the door frame, enjoying the view of Mitch in the shower, his eyes tightly closed as he shampooed his hair. He rinsed off his hair and opened his eyes, grinning widely as he saw me watching him.

  “Good morning beautiful. You look much better in my robe than I ever did”.

  “Well, I think you look pretty good yourself right now”, I responded, perusing his body openly. My smile widened as I saw Mitch responding to my presence. He growled.

  “Any other morning, and I’d haul you in here to join me in the shower, but I have an early meeting this morning, and I don’t have the time for shower sex”.

  “But surely, Mitch, you’re the boss? Couldn’t you be a few minutes late, just this once?”

  “No, I can’t. I’ve been trying to set up this meeting for weeks, I was supposed to have it weeks ago, but got detained in New Zealand, remember? This is the first date that we could reschedule”.

  Mitch shut off the shower, and stepped out, grabbing a fluffy towel and drying himself off, frowning as I continued to watch him.

  “You have to stop looking at me like that Helen, or I’m never going to be able to put my pants on. Do you want to go and see about breakfast? Mrs Santos probably isn’t in yet, and we forgot to eat last night, so I’m starving”.

  I laughed as I turned and left the room, making my way to the kitchen where I quickly put together some breakfast and put on some coffee. Mitch came out and took the plate I offered him, staring at it quietly.

  “Is there anything wrong, Mitch? Don’t you like eggs?”

  Mitch looked at me before putting his plate down on the table and pulling me in close for a kiss.

  “Helen, why did you make me scrambled eggs? Why not eggs and bacon or something like that?”

  “I’m sorry Mitch, if you don’t like your eggs scrambled, I’ll do something else”.

  Mitch picked up the coffee and the second plate I had made for myself, indicating that I should sit with him. He spoke again as he sat down.

  “I always loved the way you did the eggs, with lots of parsley and a little bit of cheese mixed in. I can see the parsley, is there cheese too?” At my nod he picked up his fork. “You might not think you remember things, Helen, but I think the memories are there, you just don’t know it. When you see David next, tell him about this. Last night, felt like old times, you responded to me the way you always used to, and made all the same moves. But maybe you’d better not tell David too much about last night. Just tell him that you do things without knowing why you do them, but you obviously remember enough about us to do what you know I like”.

  I blushed as I thought about telling David about last night, and knew I wouldn’t. Mitch smiled at me as he guessed the direction of my thoughts, and we ate in companionable silence. Mitch helped me carry the dishes to the dishwasher, then pulled me in close for a kiss before he left.

  “Helen, would you consider moving your things back into the master bedroom? I don’t want to spend another night apart from you, and I miss having your stuff in the bathroom”.

  Laughingly, I agreed, and shooed Mitch away, hearing noises through the baby monitor that indicated Michelle was starting to stir.

  Shortly afterwards, I got to practice being assertive. Of course, I hadn’t read the book that David had lent me, but I was planning to read it later that day. While I was giving Michelle her breakfast, Mrs Santos came in. She took one look at me, sitting there in Mitch’s robe, and sniffed haughtily before bustling into the kitchen, grumbling about people messing up her workspace. I ignored her at first, but after I put Michelle down to play, and watched her move out of earshot, I approached Mrs Santos.

  “I’m just going to say this once. I don’t want to fight with you, but you have to get over whatever your problem with me is. I’m married to Mitch, and I’m the mother of his child. I’m here to stay and I demand your respect. You don’t have to like me, but you can sure as hell be polite to me. If you can’t, then maybe you should start thinking about seeking another position”.

  Mrs Santos looked at me for a while, opening and closing her mouth before narrowing her eyes at me.

  “Clearly you’ve worked your way back into Mr Barrow’s bed, just like last time. I suppose you think that – “

  I held up my hand to stop her tirade before it started.

  “Before you say anything further, you should stop and think. If you say something inappropriate, I’ll fire you, don’t think I won’t. I have a child, and I won’t let her grow up in a house where the staff treat her mother like you’ve been treating me for the last few days, and things were probably no different last time, I would wager. As for being in Mitch’s bed, I’m his wife, where else would I be? Not only was I in his bed last night, but I will be tonight, and every night from now on. Not only that, but I won’t be staying out of your way any more, you should be staying out of my way, if you know what’s good for you”.

  I swept up Michelle and left the room, inwardly quaking, but still feeling proud of myself for standing up for myself. I just hoped that if I had to fire Mrs Santos, that Mitch would back me up.

  Later that afternoon, I took Michelle into the city to walk around the shops, she was growing so fast it was a struggle keeping her in clothes that fit. Mitch had told me which shops he had accounts with, and I went to them, although I had to repress a shudder at the price tags of the tiny clothes. Poor Jeff, trailing us around through the babywear department, ended up being used as a packhorse, although he bore his burden without complaining. We had lunch out, and I teased Jeff unmercifully about the attention he was attracting in the café. Jeff was a big, hulking man, and he wasn’t bad looking besides, so quite a few women turned to check him out as he walked back from the counter where he had placed our order. They saw him return to my table, and chuck Michelle under th
e cheek as she offered him a serviette that she had lifted from the table.

  “What is it, Mrs Barrow?” he asked as I began to snigger.

  “Those women over there, sshh, don’t look right now, they were checking you out, then they saw you come over to our table. If looks could kill, Michelle and I would be goners right now, they obviously think we’re together. Do you want me to tell them the truth and get their numbers for you?”

  “Very funny. My job is to protect the two of you, not to set up dates. Stop teasing me”.

  I tried to stop laughing, but the more I tried, the sillier I got, and Michelle joined in, not knowing what she was laughing at, but knowing it must be a funny joke. Finally, our order came, which helped me to rein in my mirth, and after a lunch which was broken only by the occasional giggle from me, we started back to the apartment.

  “Are you tired, Mrs Barrow?” Jeff asked, causing me to sigh.

  “So you noticed I’m walking slower? It’s that obvious, huh? I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but you’re the only person who works for Mitch who doesn’t seem to dislike me. I suppose you must know my story, do you think I faked my own kidnapping?”

  “It doesn’t make any difference to me either way. Mr Barrow is paying my agency well to make sure you’re both safe, and that’s what I’m going to do. For what it’s worth, I doubt you were involved in whatever happened to you. You don’t seem the deceitful type. Even if you were, your daughter here is innocent of anything and I won’t let anything happen to her”.

  I stopped and looked at Jeff for a moment.

  “Thanks, Jeff, you have no idea what that means. I don’t expect everyone to like me, but it’s hard dealing with hostility. I appreciate that whatever your opinion of me, you’re professional enough not to let it affect your behaviour. It’s even more important that you understand how important Michelle is. I couldn’t bear it if anything happened to her, and I know Mitch loves her too”.

  After helping me back to the apartment, and delivering the bags carrying Michelle’s clothes to her room, Jeff disappeared to wherever it was he went, and I let Michelle ‘help’ me unpack her new clothes and put them away. It took twice as long as it would have taken if I had done it on my own, but I had all day. When Michelle went down for her afternoon nap, tired out from her busy morning, I spent the time carrying clothes and toiletries from the spare room to the master room, and making myself at home. I had a handful of underwear and walked to a drawer on the bedside chest of drawers, then stood staring at the empty drawer I had just opened.

  I didn’t know what was more significant, that Mitch had left ‘my’ drawers empty all this time, or that I had instinctively gone to one side of the bed, and not the other, knowing where my things belonged.

  Auckland, New Zealand, two and a half years ago.

  “Helen? Are you back with us? You’ve been out a while”.

  “My baby, is it alright? You didn’t do x-rays did you?”

  “No, we didn’t. We held off while we did a blood test, just in case, and lucky we did. How far along do you think you are?”

  I blinked. Then I realized that I must have been out for a while, as the bandages were off my face, and I could see, even though I was squinting against the harsh overhead lighting. I raised my hands up and gently touched my face. I could feel bandages, and could tell that my flesh was tender and swollen underneath.

  “What happened? How did I get here?”

  “You were in a car accident. You were very lucky, but you suffered some facial injuries. Nothing serious, but the doctor hopes he got your nose right, your photo wasn’t in profile so it was difficult for him to judge. You didn’t answer me, how many weeks pregnant are you? We did some preliminary scans, but we just need to confirm your dates with you, and set up some follow up appointments with the obstetrician to keep an eye on your baby”.

  “My baby. I almost forgot my baby. So everything is ok? What about my husband?”

  There was a pause, then the nurse moved closer, patting my hand as she dropped her voice.

  “I’m very sorry, Helen, but your husband didn’t make it. From what I understand, he died on impact”.

  I screamed.

  Melbourne, Australia, current day.

  “Helen, Helen, come back to me. HELEN!”

  I started at the shouted command, and opened my eyes, not knowing where I was for a moment. I turned to stare at David, only then becoming aware that I was in his office, and we had wanted to pick up where we had left off the previous day.

  David breathed out a sigh of relief, then sat back.

  “Well, that was intense. I should have expected that it would be, but you still took me by surprise. If that memory fragment was correct, it might go some way to explain why you blocked Mitch out. Did the nurse really call you Helen, or call you Mrs Barrow, or Mrs Whitchurch?”

  I cast my mind back.

  “It really felt like she called me Helen. Why is that important?”

  Because if she called you Helen, not your assumed surname, and told you that your husband was dead, have you considered the possibility that on top of the physical trauma, it’s possible that you got things muddled in your mind and thought Mitch was dead? It’s just a theory, we need to explore it more, but I want you to think about whether you might have mixed up Mitch, and the man who was pretending to be your husband. The mind is an amazing thing, and it does whatever it has to do to protect itself. You were probably on some pretty potent painkillers at that stage too. It’s just a guess, we need to work some more on this, but I wouldn’t be surprised if you chose to forget Mitch to protect yourself from the pain of losing him. For the rest of today though, I’d like to work on some less traumatic tasks, I think you’ve had enough for one day. Tell me what you’ve been up to today”.

  Hesitantly at first, as I was still reeling from the vividness of my memories, and the horror of the thought of Mitch dying, I started by telling David about my confrontation with Mrs Santos that morning. I missed the gleam in his eye when I told him that Mrs Santos had seemed angry that I had spent the night with Mitch, but by the time I finished telling him about my day, I noticed he was smiling.

  “What? What have I said that’s so funny?”

  “Not funny, just good news. So you and Mitch are on intimate terms again?”

  I blushed, then nodded.

  “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, we’re all adults, and you and Mitch have a history together. There were really only two ways your relationship was going to go, you were either going to break up, or get back together, anyone with eyes could see that the two of you still felt something for each other. A platonic relationship would not have worked long term”.

  “Well, it’s not that that has me blushing, but something Mitch said. Apparently I, um, did things that indicated that I might remember what he likes in bed, so Mitch was pleased that I might remember more than I know”.

  David had the good grace to try not to smile.

  “Well, that’s good news for the both of you. Now, tell me, did you do anything about investigating courses like you were thinking of?”

  I blushed as I confessed that I hadn’t done anything at all last night after returning home, and David cleared his throat and changed the subject. We talked for a while longer about areas of study that were of interest to me, then Jeff drove me home.

  “Are you ok, Mrs Barrow?”

  “Yes, fine, it’s just a bit tough remembering things sometimes, but I’m ok now. Thanks for asking”.

  “No problems. You just seemed a bit distracted, but that’s to be expected I suppose. Tomorrow is my day off, so Frank is taking over from me. I’ll show you his photo when I drop you at home, so you will know him when you meet him. Now, do you have anything planned for the day that he will need to know about?”

  “Only an appointment, but this one’s at two. I might go to the park with Michelle in the morning, but that’s all”.

  I thanked Jeff as he escorted me
to the apartment, and then went in, to find everything much more orderly than it had been the night before. Mitch was sitting on the couch, with Michelle on his lap, and they were flicking through one of her picture books. Mitch had dressed Michelle in one of her new pyjama sets, and I smiled as I sat next to them.

  “How did you go?” Mitch asked as he looked up at me.

  “It was pretty rough. I’ll talk to you about it after Michelle goes to bed, I don’t want to get upset while she’s still awake. How was your day? Did your meeting go well?”

  “It went fine, but I don’t want to talk about dry old meetings when you’re sitting so close”, said Mitch quietly as he leaned in close to give me a kiss.

  Michelle got a bit squashed between us, and registered her protest by squirming and grumbling. I pulled back, looking at her and then at Mitch guiltily.

  “She has to get used to it, Helen. We’re her parents, and she might be used to having you all to herself, but things are different now. She may as well get used to seeing me kiss you, because I don’t plan to stop. Anyway, Mrs Santos left some dinner for us, and she was in enough of a snit about us wasting last night’s dinner, so we should go and eat it”.

  I had no idea what we ate, it was just so pleasurable sitting down with Mitch and Michelle together. Michelle was tired, but sat in her chair, fiddling with some vegetables, not really eating but wanting to be with us. Both Mitch and I took care to include her in our meal, while taking every opportunity to touch each other and steal a few kisses in front of Michelle, making sure that she could see us being affectionate towards each other. After we ate our fill and cleared up the kitchen, we both put Michelle to bed, taking turns to kiss her. I watched Mitch as he leaned over the cot, appreciating how quickly this beautiful man had adapted to his role, and how easily Michelle had won his heart. I knew then that I still loved Mitch. I didn’t know whether I was remembering our previous love, or had fallen in love with him again, but however it had happened, I loved him now.