Forgotten Husband

by Susan Bella Ikin

  “They aren’t cheap. You pay as much for one of these little boxes as you do for a whole house out in the suburbs. Lucky for me I ignored your advice though, or we wouldn’t be able to do this, would we?”

  As I watched, Mitch fitted a key into a brightly painted yellow shed, and opened a door. Michelle screamed in delight as Mitch set her down into the shed and turned to face me. I bolted up to him, looking inside to see an empty space.

  “What do you use it for?” I asked Mitch, gazing up into his eyes, which suddenly seemed sad.

  Mitch put up a hand to brush a stray hair from my face.

  “I bought it a few days before you disappeared. It was going to be my big surprise to you. I thought we could put beach supplies in here, and use it when we came here with the family we were planning to have, but I didn’t have any interest in it when you were gone, so I just left it. My solicitor kept urging me to sell it, the price keeps going up, but I couldn’t bear to get rid of it, even though I wasn’t using it. I suppose I was hoping you’d come back, even though everyone kept telling me you were gone”.

  I flew at Mitch, squeezing him as hard as I could.

  “I don’t know what I did to deserve someone as beautiful as you, but I’m glad for whatever it was. I love you so much, you know that, don’t you?”

  Mitch held me from him, looking into my eyes.

  “Are you sure? You still don’t remember me properly”.

  “You big fool. How could I not love you? I don’t need to remember what you were like before to know that I couldn’t not love you, even if I met you for the first time today, or last week, or just a few weeks ago. I might not remember what we talked about when we first met, where we went on our first few dates, or what song we danced to at our wedding, but I don’t need to remember any of that stuff to know that you are a good man, and that I can’t imagine spending any more time away from you. The other stuff will come back to me in time, for now, I just want to enjoy today”.

  Mitch squeezed me then, much harder than I had squeezed him.

  “I love you too Helen. I loved you before, and I love you now. I never really stopped loving you, even in those darkest days when I thought I’d never see you again, and when you reappeared and I thought you’d betrayed me, I still loved you. I never stopped, no matter what I said or did. I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re back, and I don’t ever want to be apart again”.

  We were both so engrossed in ourselves, that we almost missed the little gasp that issued from inside the box. We turned to see Michelle, staring at us hesitantly. She hadn’t seen us embrace like this before, and her eyes darted from one to the other of us, apparently not sure if she was ready to share me yet. Mitch slowly held out a hand to her, and I repeated the gesture. Michelle launched herself at us, and Mitch caught her and held her to him, and I wrapped myself around them both, hugging them both tightly, until Michelle started squirming to be put down. She promptly ran off towards the water, with Mitch having to chase her and grab her, swinging her high into the air to distract her from her aim of reaching the water.

  We decided that it wasn’t fair on Michelle to bring her to the beach without letting her explore, so we both rolled up our jeans and stripped Michelle down to her nappy pants, before the three of us linked arms and waded into the gentle waves. The water was quite chilly, but Michelle lasted a surprisingly long time before she wanted to leave, and I changed her into dry pants and back into her clothes in our bathing box, smiling at Mitch as he locked up, then carried Michelle back to the car, chatting to Frank, who had waited patiently nearby the whole time. Michelle seemed tired, and dozed as we drove. Mitch worked his hand across the front of Michelle’s little body to clasp my hand.

  “Helen, what would you think about a move to the beach? I was thinking that the apartment was great when it was just us, but now that we have Michelle, and if we are lucky enough to have any more children, a place with a backyard would be much better. We could do that anywhere, but wouldn’t you like to live near the beach, so we could take walks along the sand, and it wouldn’t be far to get to the bathing box to spend a day at the beach?”

  I stared at Mitch, a big smile spreading across my face.

  “Really? We could do that? Would you mind? It would be a longer commute for work”.

  “Remember I want to cut back my hours anyway? I don’t know if I want to spend my spare time in an apartment, I kind of like the idea of some grass and some sand nearby. How about I make some enquiries as to what’s available around here? We could either buy something established, or maybe do a knock down and rebuild if we find the right site. Tonight when Michelle goes to bed, we should write a wish list, so we don’t waste time looking at unsuitable properties”.

  My head spinning with excitement at the thought of a new start away from that hateful apartment, I almost missed Michelle’s arms waving around in excitement.

  “Burger, burger!” she shouted – pointing to an advertising sign promoting a close by fast food place. Mitch tapped Frank on the shoulder, and without comment, Frank turned into the carpark. I started laughing as I imagined Mitch chowing down on burgers and fries, but shortly after, that was exactly what we were all doing, Frank included, while Michelle squirmed, eying off the kid’s play area.

  “You have to eat all your lunch before you can go to play”, I said, earning identical scowls from both Michelle and Mitch. I saw Frank turn his head and unsuccessfully try to hide his laughter, but maintained my position until Michelle ate the last chip and hopped down to head to the brightly coloured area. Mitch got up to follow, and I sat there, nibbling on my last few fries as I watched contentedly. I noticed that Frank was watching the people in the restaurant, and finally broke my silence.

  “Do you think there’s a real risk? In here, with all of these families around?”

  Frank turned his gaze to me and looked at me for a quiet moment, then kept looking around the room, darting his eyes back to me every now and then as he spoke.

  “Maybe, maybe not. My job is to make sure nothing happens. It’s unlikely that anything will happen here, but you never know who’s watching, waiting for their opportunity. I’m not just on the lookout for an immediate threat, but also to see if anyone is paying you an unusual amount of attention. Your little girl is safe in that playroom with her father, there’s no way out except through this restaurant, and anyone wanting to get to the playroom has to go past us, so you don’t need to worry about her right now”.

  Frank then turned his gaze to me and kept staring at me when he spoke again.

  “But the real risk, I think, is what happens if you recover your memory. If you think about it, whoever snatched you last time had to know how to get to you, so someone must have told them how. They’re safe right now, because you don’t remember anything, but if it looks like you’re going to remember, they might feel that their identity will be discovered. So the danger to you is if you start to recover your memory. Jeff told me that we’re going to your doctor today, that you’ve been there a couple of times trying to remember what happened, that’s information you should keep to yourself. If whoever set you up before finds out about it, there’s no telling what they will do to try to keep safe. If I were you, I wouldn’t tell anyone about trying to recover your memory until you remember everything, and we can make a move on your kidnappers before they know we’re coming”.

  It was with that warning ringing in my ears that I walked into David’s office shortly after. As I sat down, I smiled at David then the smile faltered as I looked at the vase of roses on the table in between us. I leaned forward and inhaled, taking in the strong scent.

  Melbourne, Australia, just over three years ago.

  “Mitch, how beautiful! Did you arrange all of this, or did the resort?”

  I wriggled in Mitch’s arms, indicating that he should put me down, and when he did, I ran around the room, inhaling the heavenly scent of the blooms. Our room was filled with roses, all colours, and the heady scent fil
led the room. I saw a trail of red petals on the carpet and followed them to the master bedroom, seeing the bed almost completely covered with more petals.

  “Oh, Mitch, is there a rose left anywhere in the country today?”

  “You like? I asked for the old fashioned ones, I knew you liked roses that smelled like roses, not just the ones that are beautiful but don’t have any perfume. I think they used those ones to decorate the dining room, it’s good that they saved all the smelly ones for here”.

  “Oh, Mitch, only you could call roses smelly! But you don’t fool me. You might pretend you’re not a romantic, but after you made everything so perfect today, your image of a cool, ruthless businessman is in serious danger of slipping!”

  “There’s nothing cool and ruthless about me where you’re concerned, Helen. Well, maybe a little ruthless when I think about how difficult it was to get you alone today. If we hadn’t sneaked out of our own reception, we’d still be smiling and dancing, and pretending that we preferred to be in a room full of people, rather than here”.

  I smiled as I grabbed Mitch by the tie and pulled him towards the bed. I don’t know if anyone could call Mitch’s behaviour sneaky – he had tried to lead me away quietly from our guests, but when another person started to head towards us, he had growled, and picked me up, almost bolting from the room. I had half heartedly slapped at him, asking him to put me down, but instead he had carried me all the way to our room, not wanting to stop until we got here.

  Our wedding had been beautiful, but of course it would have been, with Mitch organizing it. I would have been happy to marry in the Registry Office, but Mitch had explained that his parents would never forgive him if they didn’t get to see him marry in front of all their friends and have a big party afterwards. I personally had my doubts that any of the people at our wedding had actually been friends. Business associates perhaps, family perhaps, but no-one seemed very friendly. Of course it could have been because I wasn’t ‘one of them’ and lots of people couldn’t understand why Mitch wanted to marry me. I had even overheard his own father asking him why he wanted to ‘marry the cow when he could have the milk for free’. Of course he meant that since Mitch and I were sleeping together, Mitch didn’t need to marry me just for sex, and although I had been hurt that Mitch’s father thought that way, I had been thrilled beyond measure when Mitch had curtly told his father that he loved me, and wanted to be with me for the rest of his life. Even though I was hurt by Mitch’s father’s opinion of me, his mother was less open in her disdain, but it was still there. She was outwardly polite, but I could read the signs. She had only tolerated me when I had moved in with Mitch, thinking that eventually he would come to his senses and choose ‘more appropriately’, and when it became apparent that he wouldn’t, she had made subtle, sneaky attempts to undermine me. The only person who had seemed to be prepared to give me a chance was his sister, who I think could have eventually liked me, but was too afraid to rebel against her parents to be openly friendly. She had approached me in the bathrooms tonight, when I was freshening up after the ceremony, and after checking that we were alone, stepped up to me.

  “Helen, I’m only going to say this once. You seem nice enough, but I don’t really know you, and don’t know if my brother is thinking clearly, or if his heart has taken over from his head. Just know this, if you ever hurt him, I’ll never forgive you and I’ll make you regret it”.

  It had been hard to step out into the reception after Amy’s pronouncement, but I had, and eventually I had put her from my mind. At least Amy’s hostility was motivated by love for her brother, I really didn’t think that was the reason for his parents’ feelings towards me. Our posed photographs together had felt stilted and unnatural, only the photographs taken of just Mitch and I had felt right, and when the photographer had shown me the digital thumbnails visible in the back of the camera, I had known that there would be some lovely shots there that I would treasure. We had gone through the formalities of the evening, holding hands under the table during the meal, and when Mitch thought he would get away with it, he had tried sneaking a hand under my dress, but I had slapped his hand away, all the time hoping that the speeches would be quick and we could get onto the cake cutting and then leave everyone behind.

  I had almost come undone during the part of the evening where the single guests were asked to come closer. I expected to throw my bouquet, but had been unprepared for the ribaldry when Mitch was goaded into taking off my garter to throw to the single men. Mitch kneeled at my feet, and with a wicked grin, lifted the hem of my dress enough to slip his head under. While his stated objective was to snare the garter and remove it with his teeth, he quickly managed to run a finger along my panties, and lick along my thigh as he grasped the garter. I felt his moan against my flesh, and had to school my features into not reacting to the teasing as everyone was standing around watching us. Finally Mitch ducked out of my dress, grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet as he rose, with my garter between his teeth, to the cheers of the gathered crowd. Mitch put a hand to the garter, grabbing it and flinging it over his shoulder, and then spinning me around so that I could throw my bouquet. It was during the mad scramble for the trophies that Mitch grabbed my hand and started pulling me towards the back of the room, trying to be subtle about our maneuvering, but as a guest spied us and headed towards us, he had given up with pretence and had picked me up.

  So here we were. Finally. Married. I wouldn’t have believed it just those few short months ago when Mitch had first come into the restaurant where I worked, and had stared at me as I moved around the room. I had been unable to keep my eyes off him too, but had not dared to think that the handsome man in the expensive suit would have ever become my husband.

  “How does this work?” I grumbled as I fumbled with the knot.

  Mitch managed to loosen it before I hopelessly knotted it, and eased it off his neck. Holding the tie in one hand, he cocked a look at me before quirking his lips.

  “Maybe later”. He said, as he gently dropped the tie on a chair.

  I drew in a breath as I remembered the first time we had tried bondage. I never would have thought that I would enjoy feeling so helpless, but I trusted Mitch. He had tied me to the bed so that I couldn’t move and then had taken his time arousing and teasing me, bringing me to orgasm again and again before he finally entered me. I had paid back the favour the next night, and had enjoyed the heady power of taking Mitch to the brink of orgasm over and over before finally climbing on top of him and riding him while he begged for release.

  Maybe we would try that again tonight, maybe not. Mitch and I enjoyed experimenting in the bedroom, but tonight I just wanted to make love with my husband on top of those rose petals, and imagined the scent of the petals wafting upwards as we crushed them with our writhing bodies.

  Melbourne, Australia, current day.

  My eyes snapped open, and I blushed, staring at David, hoping that I hadn’t been remembering out loud. I sat in my chair heavily, knowing that I had experienced all of those memories in just a few seconds.

  “How did you know?” I asked huskily.

  “About the roses? When I first considered taking you on as a client, I googled you, and there were two or three photos of you that had been released to the press, two from your wedding. I could see that the room was full of roses, and I asked Mitch about them. He told me that you love the scent, so I’ve made sure I have them here now. It’s interesting that you haven’t noticed them before, but you have today. What’s different? Do you want to talk about that first, or do you want to tell me what you remembered?”

  We passed the rest of the session with me explaining the g-rated version of my memories to David, and then telling him about Mitch wanting to spend more time with me, about our day today, and about Mitch’s idea to buy a house.

  “I just can’t get over how thoughtful he is”, I enthused. “Imagine buying a box, just for me, and for our children”.

  “Do you know how often you
put yourself down? Think of your use of the word ‘just’. It implies that you aren’t important. Obviously Mitch thinks you are, you can see that can’t you?”

  I nodded, thinking about what David was saying. I did put myself down a lot. So what if other people didn’t think I was good enough for Mitch? Mitch did, and he should know, better than anybody, who was good for him, and if he chose me, that should be good enough for me too.

  “You’re right. It’s hard though, not putting myself down, when I get so much negativity from everyone else”.

  “Maybe moving house would be a good thing for you. You can have a fresh start, meet new people, especially when you get Michelle settled into a pre-school. People tend to bond more over children than over anything else. When she makes little friends at kindy or at school, there will be a lot more people you can interact with, people who don’t know you or Mitch separately, but as a couple, as Michelle’s parents. Regarding your memories though, we’ve made excellent progress, don’t you think? You can now remember your wedding, and even have glimpses of when you met Mitch, and you can remember your thoughts when you first woke up from the accident. We’re closing in on the period around when you were kidnapped. That’s going to be traumatic however, so I think we should cut back our sessions to every second day. That gives you an uninterrupted day with your family, which will do you good in between our work together. What do you think?”

  I walked out of the session with David feeling better about myself, and about my relationship with Mitch. I couldn’t wait to tell him that I could remember our wedding day. Not perfectly, but I was working on that. While I made my way out of the office, meeting Frank at the elevator, I clung on to my visual memories of Mitch, happy and smiling on our wedding day. My heart was full as I met Mitch and Michelle in the lobby, waiting with them until Frank brought the car around. Life was getting better every day.