Conflict (Black Hearts MMA, #2)
Page 18
I sit down on the edge of the bed and drop my head into my hands. Staring at the floor, I wait for it to open up and swallow me so that I don’t have to tell him the worst part of the whole fucked-up situation. Of course, it doesn’t. Nothing is ever that fucking easy anymore.
The mattress dips next to me when Benji pushes himself upright and swings his legs over the side. He leans heavily into me, as if the effort to keep himself upright is beyond him. I feel tremors running through his entire frame while I wait for him to speak.
“There’s more to it, isn’t there?”
The floor is still determined not to grant me a reprieve no matter how hard I stare at it, so I lift my head and look at him. The black circles under his eyes and his pale skin are testament to how shit he feels at the moment. I shouldn’t add to his burdens, but I’m going to. If I’m to blame—and I am—then he’s just as guilty.
Nodding, I let the words that answer his question tumble into the air without censure. “Brendan blackmailed her with your drug use. Threatened to tell the fucking newspaper’s so you wouldn’t be drafted. That’s why she stayed with him.”
I expected some sort of response. For him to lose his temper. Maybe throw something or try and storm out. I didn’t expect him to cover his face with his hands and starting crying.
This isn’t like the whining he’s been doing for the last week while we’ve been cleaning him up. He breaks into sobs that make it sound like his heart is fucking breaking. They bounce off the walls and hit me right in the fucking chest like a bullet. I’ve cried twice since I was a kid. Once when my mum died and again when I thought Lainey was going to—I have no plans of adding to that list tonight. No matter how fucking close I’m getting from watching Benji break down.
Swallowing the lump that’s taken up residence in my throat, I bury all of the anger that I’ve let fester toward him since Lainey told me the truth and lift my arm, so I can put it around his shoulders. Benji falls into me, dropping his head further. We sit like this for fuck knows how long. He lets his guilt out and I bottle mine up a little tighter.
“I’m gonna get clean.” He nods, lifting his head and looking me in the eye. “And, I’m gonna stay clean.”
Straightening his shoulders, he sits up and lets out a sigh. What I’m guessing is shame turns his face red before he pushes to his feet and makes his way unsteadily to the window. Lifting onto his toes, Benji swipes his hand along to top of the window frame until he finds what he’s looking for. I can hear the ripping of what sounds like tape as he pulls the small package away from the painted frame.
Grinding my teeth, I watch the little shit shuffle his way over to the built-in-robe and mess around on one of the shelves until he pulls whatever he’s looking for. My hands curl into fists and I’m on my feet before I can talk myself out of it. Benji turns back to me, his eyes widening when he sees me so close to him. He holds his hands up in surrender, one holding a fucking taped up baggie of meth and the other a dirty glass pipe. Seeing what’s in his hands doesn’t calm me, it’s like a red rag to a bull, igniting my temper. My left hand closes around his neck while I drive my right fist straight into his deceitful fucking face. Throwing him to the ground, I sink my boot into his ribs for good measure.
“You little fuck. The whole time we’ve been trying to clean you up, you’ve been getting high behind our backs.” Crouching over him, I rip the baggie out his hand then grab his pipe. Standing up, I throw the pipe to the ground and crush it under my boot. Glass shatters, spreading over the floor next to him and he groans. “Good luck trying to get fucked up now.”
Leaving him on the threadbare rug, I slam the door shut behind me as I go searching for his accomplice. Finding him talking to Timber, I push my way through the crowd. I grab Kid by the back of his cut, rip it down his arms, and hold it in front of his face when he swings around to see who’s messing with him.
The moment it registers with him that it’s me, he ducks his head. I grab him by the front of his T-shirt and yank him closer to me. “Look me in the eye and tell me that you didn’t know.”
I don’t tell him what he’s supposed to know. I don’t have to. When Kid lifts his head, I let the baggie hang between my fingers and shake it in the air. To his credit, he doesn’t drop my gaze when he answers. “I’m sorry, Mad Dog.”
Tossing his cut to Beast, who’s come to find out what the commotion is about, I show him the drugs as well. “Found this on Benji. Kid was in on it. Think it’s time for you to step up and do something about your fucking son right-about-now. Don’t you?”
Beast inclines his head to acknowledge my words but doesn’t agree. He hands Kid his cut back then melts into the crowd without saying a fucking thing. I take two steps after him, determined to have it out with the bull-headed fuck, only to come to a stop when Timber grabs me by my arm. “Let him go. Once he’s wrapped his head around it, he’ll deal with Benji. Gotta be hard when it’s his son going off the rails.”
Tilting my head so I can look my giant-sized best friend in the eye, I growl. “Shouldn’t be fucking hard when he’s been given proof.”
Timber shrugs. “Just keep your mouth shut for now. You wanna keep your SAA patch, then I wouldn’t advise pissing off the Prez.”
Ignoring his advice, I glare past his shoulder at Kid. “What the fuck are you still doing here? Go deal with your best friend. He’s probably still lying on the floor whining like a little pussy.” Kid nods, turning on his heel to head for the bedrooms. “If I was you, I’d make sure he stays clean. Next time I find out you’re helping him; I’m removing my name from your noms.”
His step falters at my threat—it’s a big one, threatening to take away my backing of his nomination to become a Black Shamrock. “Won’t happen again, Mad Dog.”
“How’s Princess,” Timber brings my attention back to him with his mention of Lainey.
“The same.”
Nudging me with his shoulder, he moves me in the direction of the exit. “You should get back to her, then.”
It takes an effort to stop him from pushing me along, but I manage it. Cocking my head to the side, I take a good look at him. Usually, he’d be on my ass to stay and party with him, not pushing me outta the door. “You cool?”
The fakest fucking smile I’ve ever seen crosses his face, and he nods. “Yeah, yeah. All good.”
Shaking my head, I snort. “Okay. And, I’m the fucking pope. What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just been lost in my head all day.”
The shadows of ghosts that should be dead and buried flit across his features. “Amy?”
“Yeah, it’s two years today.”
Raking my fingers through my hair, I buy myself some time. I have Lainey waiting at home in fuck knows what state, and in front of me, I have my best friend. Fuck. My two people. The only ones I’d lay my life on the line for.
“You wanna spend the night at my house? Can’t guarantee a good time, if you come.”
“Nah,” Timber shakes his big head, then jams two fingers in his mouth and whistles. Every single one of the Club sluts turn at the sound and—occupied with another brother or not—they head in his direction. They all want a slice of the kinky fuck, and knowing him, he’ll oblige.
Flicking my hand in the direction of the stampeding whores, I shake my head. “They’re all yours. Try not to drown in all the pussy.”
“No promises.” He laughs as he walks toward them, holding out his arms so they can all swarm around him and touch what they want. He buries his head between a pair of tits on one slut and jams his hand under the skirt of another.
I think he’ll be okay for the night.
And, on that note, I head home to my woman.
The one I can’t touch.
Want to keep reading?
Soothing Suffering is available for free right now.
AVAILABLE NOW BY KYLIE HILLMAN
*
BLACK SHAMROCKS MC
(MC Romantic Suspense)
Soothing S
uffering (free novella)
Seizing Control
Making Choices
Seeking Redemption
Conquering Circumstances (free novella)
Tempting Fate
Finding Nirvana
Craving Control (companion story)
*
BLACK SHAMROCKS MC: FIRST GENERATION
(New Adult/MC Romance)
Conan
Viking
Butch
*
BLACK HEARTS MMA
(Taboo Sports Romance)
Brawl
Conflict
*
FULL CIRCLE SECURITY INCORPORATED
(Contemporary/Action & Adventure Romance)
Invictus (free novella)
*
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Kylie Hillman is an International Bestselling Author who lives in South Australia. After spending the past fifteen years regularly moving around the east coast of Australia, she has recently returned to her home state and plans to finally put down roots until her children finish school.
Wife to a Harley-riding, boating and fishing, four-wheel driving, quintessential Aussie bloke and mum to two crazy, adorable, and eccentric kids, Kylie is also a Crohn's Disease sufferer and awareness campaigner.
When she's not writing, she can be found sipping tea while she scoffs copious amounts of jelly beans (except the black ones – they’re the devil’s food), sharing her appreciation for heavy metal and hard rock music with her neighbours, or stalking Tom Hardy and M. Shadows from Avenged Sevenfold online. As a devotee to the use of profanity, sarcasm, and inappropriate innuendo, it is for the best that she chooses to venture outside her 45-acre farm only on special occasions.
She loves to chat with readers and can be contacted via her Facebook Reader Group (Kylie’s Kollective), her Facebook Like Page, or her website.
FOLLOW KYLIE HILLMAN ONLINE: Instagram | Ultimate Insider | Book+Main Bites | BookBub | Spotify
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My hubby and kids. Everything I do is for you. Yes, I write for myself, but everything after that is done to make your life a smidgen better. You’re my driving force, my biggest obstacle, my world, my life, my everything. Love you three to the moon and back.
My promo/launch team. You ladies are the freaking greatest, honestly. My heart can’t cope with all the goodness you bring to my life xx
Linda Russell at Foreword PR. I love your patience and your kindness. You rock so hard, lovely x
The members of Kylie’s Kollective, and especially the new admins. You’re my biggest cheerleaders, safe space, and sounding board. I am blessed beyond belief.
The bloggers, Instagrammers, reviewers, and readers. Without you, writers are nothing. I don’t for a second forget that and I hope you don’t either. This industry is built on the back of your labours of love. Thank you so much!
Last but not least. Nathan Mark Gibbons. You knew I named a character after you, but you didn’t stick around long enough to read the story. I miss you and I know Mick does as well. Skinny, you were/are/always will be a fucking legend. I hope you manage to read this story up there and you approve of its message. Since we couldn’t save you, I fucking hope this story saves someone else.
CONTENTS
Also by Kylie Hillman
Become an Ultimate Insider
Author Note
Dedication
Playlist
Prologue
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-One
Twenty-Two
Twenty-Three
Twenty-Four
Twenty-Five
Twenty-Six
Twenty-Seven
Twenty-Eight
Twenty-Nine
Thirty
Thirty-One
Epilogue
Dissent, Black Hearts MMA | Book Three
Available now by Kylie Hillman
About Kylie Hillman
Contact Kylie Hillman
Acknowledgements
Contents