What We Won't do for Love (Love, Lies & Lust Series)

by Mz. Robinson

  Claps. Amens.

  “It’s time for confession,” he said,” So your path to forgiveness will be clear.”

  Amens.

  I looked down the pew and noticed Bill fidgeting with his tie. He looked at Mama then down at Daddy and began to rub his hands together. He looked like he was going to snap at any moment. I crossed my legs nervously still watching him.

  “Someone needs forgiveness!” Pastor Davis declared. “Today is your day!”

  Bill sat forward on the pew holding his head in his hands. I cleared my throat to get Mama’s attention. She looked at me, nodded her head and continued to watch Pastor Davis. Meanwhile Bill was moving and squirming in his seat like a five year old that needed to go potty.

  “Help us, Lord,” I said aloud.

  “That’s right, Sister,” Pastor Davis said, pointing at me.” Someone here needs your help, Lord.”

  Out of the corner of my eye I could see someone staring in our direction. I turned my head and saw Sister Emma. She was shaking her head and frowning.

  I wondered if she knew about Daddy and Mama. It was definitely possible, after all Mama and Daddy have been running all over town together. The entire congregation probably knew. I suddenly felt like everyone was looking at us. Uncrossing my legs I slid down lower on the pew. The people in front of us turned around and started looking at us. Using my program as a fan I adjusted my collar. Lord, why is it so hot in here? I’m sure it’s because these people are burning us with their eyes. I looked at Pastor Davis and he was watching us. The fifty members Mass Choir was staring! An-toine, the flamboyantly gay director of music was staring! I looked over my shoulder and the people behind us were staring! Finally I heard Bill clear his throat and I knew why they were staring. He was now standing.

  “Brother, do you have something to say?” Pastor Davis asked pointing to Bill.

  I sat up in my seat and adjusted my dress. He’s going to tell on my Mama!

  Stuffing his hands in his pants pockets Bill looked down at Mama. She sat looking straight ahead. I saw a single tear fall from Bill’s eye. Why did Mama have to do this to a man like this? I looked at Daddy; he had shifted in his seat and was watching Bill intently.

  “Brother Moore,” Pastor Davis called. Wiping his face with his hand, Bill nodded his head.

  “Pastor, I have a confession,” Bill cried.

  Silence.

  “Go ahead, Brother,” Pastor Davis said softly.

  “I’ve been carrying a weight around for the last year,” Bill said slowly.

  “Let it go,” Pastor Davis encouraged him. Sniffing, Bill looked at Mama. His eyes were full of tears.

  “For the last year, an adulterer has been living in my home,” Bill cried.

  Oh Snap! Bill was about to bust Mama in front of the entire congregation and a whole lot of neighborhood visitors. There were whispers coming from every direction throughout the church.

  Mama held her head high and stared Bill in the eyes. Daddy adjusted his tie and crossed his leg over his knee.

  “The vows,” Bill continued, tears flowing down his cheeks. “Made between me and my wife have been broken.”

  Don’t do it, Bill! Please don’t let the entire community via the church gossip network, know that my Mama is a two timing Jezebel! Please don’t do it, Bill!

  Bill let out a deep sigh and then shook his head at Mama.

  “Charlene,” he whined,” Why?”

  Lord, please send me a miracle. Something. Anything.

  Mama cleared her throat and then said,” Why.”

  Her voice was soft but strong. Mama was calm and collected. I, on the other hand was sweating harder than a two-dollar hooker in church on communion Sunday. Daddy looked like he wanted to beat Bill down at any moment.

  “Why, Charlene,” Bill cried. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and then exhaled. “I don’t know why I did this to you,” he said.

  Come again?

  Whispers.

  “Charlene, I’ve been having an affair,” He said,” I’m sorry.”

  I almost fell off the pew. I would have if Daddy hadn’t put his arm across me. There were “Lord have mercies” and “Um um umms” coming from every direction. I couldn’t believe it. I was in a state of shock but not too shocked to blurt out, “With who, Bill?”

  Looking at me Bill dropped his head,” Sister Emma,” He whispered.

  Someone in the back of the church yelled out,” We can’t hear you!”

  Someone else was kind enough to fill them in,” He said Sister Emma!”

  Whispers.

  Lord, have mercies.

  I looked at Sister Emma and saw that her face was as red as fire. She took her hat off and adjusted her wig.

  Emma?

  Whispers.

  The thought of Bill bumping and grinding with five-foot four, three-hundred-sixty-pound sister Emma made me gag. Tears started running out my eyes and I was waving one of my arms in the air. One of the ushers must have thought I felt the spirit because she ran over to me and started fanning me.

  Pastor Davis stood in the pulpit with a look of shock on his face. An-toine fanned himself with his hand,” Lord have mercy,” He said.

  “I’m sorry,” Bill continued,” I need forgiveness.”

  I asked for a miracle and I got one. Not what I expected but beggars can’t be choosers.

  “Mama did you know about Bill and Emma?”

  Mama and I were sitting in her kitchen finishing off slices of her homemade apple pie. After Bill’s confession, Pastor Davis said a long prayer for Bill and Mama’s marriage. He also asked the Lord to forgive Sister Emma for her involvement in the affair. After Pastor Davis dismissed the congregation, he offered to speak with Mama and Bill privately in his study. Mama declined and told him she had already prayed about it and that God had shown her the right path to take. Bill chose to stay and speak with the Pastor alone.

  So, my parent’s and I loaded up in the Caddy and headed home. They didn’t mention the scene at the church and neither did I. They talked about their trip to Mobile and how beautiful the weather was. I sat in silence trying to think of a new church I could move my membership to.

  When we made it back to Mama’s and Bill’s the three of us sat down and ate fried chicken, collard greens, macaroni and cheese and corn bread muffins. Mama had cooked earlier that morning. Her little show on the porch about going to the Ambiance was because she knew I was lying about having something to do. After dinner, Daddy left to go help Uncle Leroy with his car. Mama and I were alone and I was ready for some answers.

  “No,” She said, “Emma was a surprise.”

  “You didn’t look surprised,” I said.

  “That’s because I knew he was cheating,” She said.

  “Explain.”

  I sat in silence and utter disbelief as Mama explained that while she and Bill were in Vegas she found receipts for hotel rooms in his briefcase. The receipts showed that the rooms had two adult occupants. She told me all of them were for rooms in Boston. They were for the weekends Bill told her he was going to visit Opal. Mama said this made her suspicious so she checked Bill’s cell phone. She found a number with area code six-one-seven that didn’t belong to Opal. Mama said when she called from Bill’s cell, a female answered the phone “Hey Baby”. I listened as Mama explained that the female was a twenty- three-year-old stripper called “Desire” that Bill met at a strip club in Boston. Mama told Desire that she was Bill’s sister and she was looking to hire entertainment for Bill’s birthday party. During their conversation, Desire innocently informed Mama that Bill was fond of strippers and escorts. That was the night Mama called Daddy. She told me he listened as she explained the sudden discovery she made about Bill. Mama said she asked Daddy to come see her and without hesitation he caught a flight to Vegas.

  “I have always loved your father,” She told me.

  Mama and I had moved outside to her front porch. The wind blew lightly as we rocked back and forth on her
swing.

  “And your father has always loved me,” She smiled.

  “He hurt you, too.” I reminded her.

  “How?” She asked looking at me.

  “When he left you,” I said softly. I said the words gently because for some reason I thought the reminder would bring her new pain.

  “Baby, leaving us was one of the best things your Father could have done.”

  “For whom?” I asked. “Definitely not for me.”

  I never admitted it to Mama but I despised my Daddy for leaving us. I didn’t love him any less but a part of me despised him.

  “All I know is in the middle of the night I heard the two of you arguing and the next thing I knew my father was gone,” I said, angrily.

  “You cried every night for thirty days straight,” I told her.” I saw you Mama.”

  “Then after he walked out on you he had the nerve to file for divorce?” I laughed. I was trying to calm myself but my heart was racing and I could feel the tears in my eyes. I always cry when I get mad. “You cried for thirty more days after that,” I said, looking in her eyes.

  “You did everything you could for him,” I continued.” And he left.”

  Mama took my hand in hers. She sat quietly as I continued.

  “He left his daughter,” I cried.” He walked out and never looked back.”

  “He called and came to see you,” She reminded me.

  “Like a stranger, Mama,” I whispered.” Not like a Father that spends time with his child.”

  My father would call or come by for fifteen minutes. His visits and phone conversations never lasted longer than fifteen minutes. Just long enough to bring Mama money for child support, give me my allowance, throw me a kiss and leave.

  “Well I remember the holidays,” Mama said.” I remember the birthdays and your graduation.”

  I thought back to those times and Mama was right; Daddy made extra effort for special occasions. For my high school graduation he bought me my first car. When I graduated from Spelman College, Daddy gave me $3500.00 as a graduation gift and he paid off all of my student loans. By doing this he made me free to open my own business without any other debts. Financially Daddy was there but I needed more than his money.

  “I had his money, Mama,” I said. “ But I needed him.”

  “He needed you too,” Mama said. She squeezed my hand gently and I watched as tears fell from her eyes. “Charles left because he was sick,” Mama told me.

  “Sick?” I asked. In an instant my anger had been replaced by care and concern. “What was wrong with him?” I asked.” Is he alright now?”

  “He’s fine now,” Mama reassured me.

  “What was wrong with him?”

  “He was an alcoholic,” Mama told me.

  “Daddy?” I asked. “I never saw him drink.”

  “That’s because he did it whenever he left the house.”

  “Remember when all the arguments started?” She asked.

  “Yeah about a year before he left.” Before that time I had never so much as heard my parents raise their voices at each other.

  “Right after your grandfather Ted died,” Mama said.

  Ted was Daddy’s father. They spent so much time together and looked so much alike you would have thought they were brothers. My grandmother Pearl died from breast cancer when Daddy was seventeen, and after her death Daddy and his father became as close as a father and son could be. When my grandfather died it was sudden and unexpected. He died in his sleep from heart failure.

  “After Ted died, Charles started hanging out more,” Mama continued.” Drinking and partying.”

  “He’d come home later and later,” She said. “I assumed it was because of another woman.”

  “Was it ever because of another woman?” I asked.

  “Not with your father,” She smiled. “ He saw the way our fights were affecting our family.”

  “He knew he couldn’t keep putting you and me through that,” She continued.” But at the same time he couldn’t stop drinking. He loved us so much that he let us go. That’s why he left.”

  “When did you find out the truth?” I asked.

  “After I married Bill,” She frowned. “Your Uncle Leroy told me.”

  “When did the drinking stop?”

  “He’s been sober for two years.”

  “So what happened between you two after that night in Vegas?” I asked

  “Charles asked me to leave Bill,” She said.” But I had to wait.”

  “Wait for what?”

  “I wanted to make sure Charles was completely sober,” She said.” He got upset and that’s why I didn’t talk to him for almost another year. But I couldn’t go any longer without being with him.”

  “Why didn’t you just divorce Bill?” I asked.

  “I was going to but I wanted to wait until this house was paid for,” She said. “I love this house and I am not letting that ho chasing dog have it.”

  “Bill would have given you the house,” I said.

  “I know,” She said, rolling her eyes.” But I wanted it to be paid in full.”

  I shook my head and let out a small laugh. Mama had always been a smart woman.

  “He is not about to leave me with any bills,” She added.

  “So you and Daddy are a couple again?”

  Giggling Mama batted her eyes,” Yes, again and forever.”

  “Forever is a long time,” I said.

  “Not when you have a man who loves you.”

  “Like Daddy loves you,” I smiled.

  “Yes,” She said,” And like Damon loves you.”

  “Mama Damon does not love me,” I said, smacking my lips.

  “I know men Octavia,” She said. “ And Damon is a man in love.”

  “We’ve known each other four months, Mama.”

  “When something is right it doesn’t take long.”

  “Damon and I are just...”

  “Friends,” She said, cutting me off.

  “Yeah.”

  “Damon is a good man,” She said.” And good men are hard to come by.”

  “I’m not looking for a man.”

  “I know,” She smiled.” But you have one.”

  I thought about what Mama said for a moment. “Whatever happens-happens,” I told her.

  “Okay,” She said. “ I just hope you let it happen with Damon.”

  Laughing I rolled my eyes,” So, how did you know Bill would confess?” I asked.

  “I didn’t,” She said. “But I was hoping and praying.”

  “I thought he was going to bust you and Daddy in front of the entire congregation.”

  “I did too,” She smiled. “But God does answer prayers.”

  “That he does,” I smiled. “That he does.”

  Chapter 17

  The Ambiance was packed during lunch, with a thirty minute wait for a free table. My servers and bus boys were running themselves ragged trying to take care of the customers while keeping the tables clean. I put my payroll on hold and made an appearance inside the restaurant to make sure everything was flowing smoothly. They appeared to have everything under control so I returned to my office. Less than thirty minutes later, Amel knocked on my door and informed me that we had a party of twelve at the front door and nowhere to sit them.

  “Apologize and explain that we’re booked,” I instructed her, continuing with my work.

  “I did, but one of them asked me to give this to you.”

  I looked up and saw her holding a long stem red rose and a business card. She placed the rose on the only corner of my desk that wasn’t covered with paperwork, then handed the business card to me.

  “Nomad Investments,” I read aloud. “Damon Whitmore, President.” I shook my head and smiled.

  “Are they still waiting?”

  “Yes.”

  I tapped my fingertips on the desk trying to think of a solution. Anybody else would have been shit out of luck, but Damon was different he was special t
o me.

  “What about the lounge?” I asked, “Amel.”

  “There are a couple of people at the bar, but otherwise the lounge is clear,” she said. “The problem is that we don’t have any tables set up.”

  “I want you to grab one of the reserved signs out of the storage closet, then rope off the entire room.”

  “Okay, but these guys don’t look like the hip hop type,” Amel said, frowning. “And Scar is upstairs bumping Dem Franchise Boys.”

  “Tell Scar to put on some Billie Holiday, Kenny G., or something.”

  “I’ll grab Horatio and Thomas from the back so that we can set up the tables,” Amel volunteered. She was already headed for the door. That’s what I loved about her, she was a go-getter. I never had to stand over her or spoon feed her directions.

  “One more thing, Amel,” I called out to her.

  “What’s that?” She asked, spinning on her heels to look at me.

  “Thank you.”

  She gave me her signature sweet smile then left the room. I gave a lot of orders but I tried to always remember to show my gratitude. Before I went into business for myself, I worked for other people and they could be damn right nasty to deal with. They gave a whole lot of orders but rarely gave recognition. I made a promise that I would never be that type of boss, so I told my employees “thank you” on a regular basis and even gave them bonuses on days like today when I knew I was working them like a group of Hebrew slaves. I also tried to be flexible when it came down to family emergencies and time off. I would fill in for my employees myself if I had to. I was the boss but I had no problem with getting my hands dirty.

  I removed my MAC compact from my purse along with my lip gloss. I freshened up my lip-gloss then checked my face for shine. Once I was refreshed I adjusted my linen, knee length dress then left my office. By the time I made my way upstairs to the lounge, Damon and his party were seated and enjoying their drinks. It was like Damon sensed my presence when I entered the room; he stopped his conversation abruptly then gazed in my direction. The other men seated at the tables, who were all Korean with exception of one handsome brother with mocha colored skin, followed Damon’s eyes.

  “Excuse me, gentleman,” Damon smiled, staring at me from my head down to my toes.