“One thing at a time, sweets. We’re gonna get you on your feet.”
CHAPTER TEN
~LoraLeigh~
The kindness of a stranger… I want to believe in him. I want so badly for Heath to be different. I want this chance at my own life. Wendol says I can work for him under the table until we get all my paperwork sorted. He laughed when I asked what under the table meant.
My mom never had a real job. She sold her body and lived off welfare. I don’t know about taxes and social security numbers. The last twenty-four hours have been a complete whirlwind. I don’t know if I’m coming or going.
Heath turned me down. He could have had sex with me yet didn’t. Either he’s gay, or he is genuinely trying to help me.
Back at his house, I go through the meager contents of my pillowcase. The small spiral bound, three-by-five notepad that is my current journal sits in front of me. I haven’t written in it in since I left Pete’s.
I run my fingers over the tattered edges without opening it. I have never opened any of them when I finish. I simply dispose of them and find the next one to write in. Over the years, it hasn’t always been easy to keep track. Sometimes, I couldn’t write; I could only give myself a hash mark to tally the days. I want to write in it and turn the page to start. Something inside stops me, though.
Is this hope I am allowing myself to feel? I really have allowed myself to envision working for Wendol. I begin my letter to myself; only, it all feels different today.
Dear Diary,
In moments of desperation … in moments of survival, we need something to believe in. Today is day one that I allow myself the freedom to believe.
Today is day one that I allow myself to hope. Today is day one that I allow myself to think about the possibility of tomorrow. Today is day one of my future.
Today is my birthday. Today is the first day I allow myself to live and be free.
Daily reminder: I have survived another day. I have hope. I am free. I am simply finding me.
Signed,
LoraLeigh Riffel
Inside of me, the anxiety builds with the thought of allowing myself to believe I have a future.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Four Months Later
~Heath~
The air mattress in my spare room isn’t so bad to sleep on. It’s far better than my couch. Truth be told, I end up in my own bed most nights, anyway. She has night terrors, but once I climb in behind her and hold her, she sleeps through the night without another issue. I’m not sure how healthy this is for either of us, but I can’t help myself. She needs me, and I’m going to be there for her in any way I can.
LoraLeigh is working for Wendol. She has her birth certificate, social security card, state identification card, and is learning to drive. Kenzy took her shopping to make sure she even has all the essentials. They had a spa day, as Kenzy calls it. LoraLeigh came home with her hair cut and colored. She has this natural beauty about her, but add those highlights, and she came in the door looking drop dead gorgeous.
She wants to be independent from me, from Wendol, from her old life. We slip her extra money with her paycheck as if it is part of her job, not because we feel sorry for her. Truth be told, I don’t pity her.
I am in awe of her.
I am amazed by the strength she has to keep pushing through, even when the shadows go bump in the night. I don’t know anyone who could go through everything she has been through and still work to be free of it all.
Fighting for the center has always been nice. It has always fed a part inside of me that longs to be part of the greater good. Helping her, watching her grow into her own, feeds part of my soul. I can’t explain the connection I have to her. It’s deeper than anything I have had with any other human being in my entire life.
Making the drive home from a long day at work, I continue to think of the amazing woman sharing my house. Having her here, I actually enjoy coming home.
Walking in, I take a quick shower to wash off the grime of my job before grabbing my bag and heading to The Basement.
She is in Wendol’s office with him when I walk in for my training. When she looks up from her paperwork and smiles, everything around me falls into a place.
I run my hand over my chest as I realize I have these feelings for LoraLeigh beyond friendship.
She is so much more.
Before I can think about it further, Wendol comes around the corner, and we get started on my training.
As we’re finishing up, LoraLeigh makes her way over to wait for me to take her home.
Walking out, I lace my hand in hers. When she doesn’t resist, I squeeze her hand, needing this connection to her more than I can put into words.
“Heath, got a fight coming up,” Wendol says as a last thought when we reach the door.
LoraLeigh tenses beside me, and then we take the ride home in silence.
Inside, I can feel her pulling away. We’ve spent all this time building this solid friendship and something more, and one word, one thing, brings it crashing down.
When she goes to walk into my room, I reach out and grab her wrist, my calloused fingers running across the scars from the first night she was here.
She stops midstride and looks up at me, and I continue rubbing the scars as I pull her to me. With her arm between our two bodies, I keep my thumb running over her wrist and my other around her waist to hold her to me.
“Don’t shut me out. Talk to me, sweets.”
Tears fill her eyes. “Am I the payment for your fight?”
“Fuck no. I have cash for my buy in. You’re free, LoraLeigh. The fights aren’t part of your life anymore.”
“Why do you have to do it? What if you lose?” She sobs. “What if you don’t come back to me?”
I rest her hand on my chest as I tip her chin up to look at me. Then I place my lips against hers. I don’t press the kiss to move for more, just leave it as a simple brush of my lips to hers. A connection, a solid foundation on which I wish to continue to build something more. Finally, I rest my forehead on hers as I move my hand back to the scars.
“I won’t lose. I’ll always come back to you as long as you’ll have me. Don’t worry over the fights. I only do them when the center needs something big, or it’s one I have to do to stay in The Lottery.”
“Why do you do it, Heath?”
“Some people have scars on the outside.” I bring her wrist to my mouth and hold my lips against her marks as I kiss them. “Some people have scars burned into their souls.”
“Some people have both,” she whispers to me.
“I fight to lessen my scars. I make decent money on the rig, but House of Hope needs larger funds than what I can bring in on the oil rig. Shayla was like my sister, too. Knowing how many women suffer at the hands of fucked-up men, I can’t sit back and do nothing. Wendol and I do this in memory of her. We do it for the women like my mom. We do it for women who need a helping hand. I fight to leave a door open, somewhere, for any woman who may feel trapped. When that woman feels death is her only escape, I want her to know there is a place she can go.”
“Hope,” she whispers at me.
She licks her lips as her shaking hands come up around my neck. She pulls me to her and kisses me softly, timidly. When her lips part, I slide my tongue over them. She pulls tighter, opens more, and her tongue comes out to meet mine. We kiss slowly and delicately.
All of the doubts I had about my feelings wash away with every swipe of her tongue against mine. I have never felt for anyone what I feel for her.
CHAPTER TWELVE
~LoraLeigh~
One step closer. Kissing him is one step closer to having something real in my life. With every day that passes by, the more I learn to trust in Heath. He has held my hand and my heart every step of the way as I learn to live my life, really live my life.
He pulls away, kissing my nose gently before cupping my chin to make me look at him. His eyes search mine to make sure I am okay with all of
this.
Heath is always making sure I am okay. He is a man of honor. He is a man of value. He is the type of man they write books about.
He doesn’t fight for the money. Well, not exactly. I am trying to wrap my head around all of this. Working so closely with Wendol, he has talked about House of Hope and his sister, so I understand that Heath fights to give to the center, not for himself.
“It’s late, and I gotta work in the morning. Get some rest. LoraLeigh, don’t worry about the fights, okay. Now, get some sleep.”
He starts to turn away, but I reach out to stop him. I lace our fingers together and lead him to his room.
“Stay with me,” I invite. Heath knows me better than I seem to know myself, and he nods before going to get ready for bed as I do the same. Then he lies down and pulls me against him.
We sleep like we always do after my nightmares, and for the first time since I was a twelve, I can say I sleep through the night.
It feels good.
Three weeks pass as Heath and I both work and cohabitate together. He has taken me out to dinner twice in what he calls our first dates. He brought me flowers and kissed me goodnight both times. Who am I kidding? He kisses me goodnight every night. We sleep in his bed together, as well, but he doesn’t push me for more.
Tonight is fight night, and dread fills me. Kenzy is supposed to come to the house for a movie night. Honestly, there is nothing that will take my mind off the fight. It isn’t about what the fights mean to me—well, not completely. More so, I don’t want Heath injured. He has come to mean too much, has gotten too close. Panic fills me. Anxiety consumes me.
“Let me go with you,” I blurt out as we are closing up the gym.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Why not? If Pete’s there, they can see I’m still doing my part. Anyone questioning what I may or may not have leaked will see I’m where I’m supposed to be.”
Heath blows out a frustrated breath as Wendol shakes his head. “She makes a valid point, man. I gotta know, though, will she be a distraction for you?”
Without a word, Heath stands in front of me. He cups my face in his hands, his eyes searching mine for answers, though to what, I’m not sure. Finally, his lips meet mine, and a cascade of unspoken emotions washes over us in this moment.
Then he pulls away slowly, pulling my bottom lip out as if he doesn’t ever want to let go. “I gotta know you’re okay.”
“I’m fine.”
“Call Tapper on the way and have him meet us there. He and Kenzy can sit with her. He’s on the list, anyway, so we won’t ruffle feathers by having them there.”
***
The run-down buildings are all the same, more or less. The smell of sweat, body odor, and too many people in a closed room all assault my nose as I make my way to the front with Tapper in front of me and Kenzy close behind. I sit like a statue through round after round. I compose my features, my emotions, like I did for I don’t know how many fights in the past.
Then the final match is called.
Hitman versus Professor.
I can hear Pete taunt Heath from where I sit.
“Lose to me, and you don’t need to pay up; you can just give her back.”
“Better kill me here and now. The only way I’ll be apart from her is when my body no longer works,” Heath growls back at him.
“Her pussy is golden. It’s like a vice around my cock. I miss that shit. I get it, man. I’m just sayin’, you lose, I’ll take her over the cash.”
“Fuck you, fuck your cash, and fuck your cock. She’s mine.”
“Careful, Hitman, people might think you have a weakness.” Professor smirks before looking at me and grabbing his crotch.
Bile rises up in my throat as all the memories of my past flood my mind. Pushing them down, I focus on Heath. The bell rings, and he is like a lion protecting his territory. He circles Pete before he straight pounces. He takes him down, and the punches fly as Pete wraps his legs around Heath and tries to gain leverage from the bottom.
As Heath rises up from his knees to stand, he is holding Pete immobile with his legs wrapped tightly around his sides and has crossed Pete’s arms over his chest.
Dropping to his knees, he slams Pete’s back into the mat. Both men cry out. Pete is strangled in pain. Heath’s sounds are more like a war cry as he releases Pete’s hands and pounds away at his face and ribs.
The round ends with Pete unable to get up without Joel coming over to assist him. I can hear Wendol trying to calm Heath down.
“Gotta slow down. If he bounces back, you won’t have the stamina to finish him.”
“I’m gonna fuckin’ finish him, mark my words. I’m ending him tonight.”
The bell rings, and the next round begins. Pete tries to take Heath down, but he keeps them standing. Separating, they exchange a few jabs before a right hook makes contact with Pete’s jaw. He takes two steps in a stumble backward before his eyes visibly roll back in his head, and he hits the mat.
Lights out. Knock out. Heath wins.
I breathe as Heath exits the cage, ignores the crowd, and makes his way to me where he kisses me in a passion-filled dance of ownership.
This is one ownership I could get used to. This is one ownership I welcome with open arms.
Once we get home, I can’t think beyond my need to be with this man. He showers, changes into low slung pajama pants, and climbs into bed beside me. I am wearing one of his T-shirts and my panties.
As he lies there, I climb over to straddle him. He starts to speak, but I bring my index finger down over his lips to quiet him.
“I want this, Heath. I need this. You’ve made everything in my life better. Make this better for me, too. Give this to me. Give this to us.”
Before he can respond, I bring my mouth crashing down on his. I roll my hips, dragging my center over his quickly hardening erection. His hands come up to cup my ass, sending tingles up my spine. I have never been touched because I have wanted it, until now.
Needing more, I pull away and remove his shirt, and my breasts rub against his bare chest, causing me to moan from the contact.
I kiss across his jaw and down to his neck. When I suck on his earlobe, his hips rock up as his hard cock rubs against my core, dampening my panties. His hands cup my ass as his fingers trace the edge of my panties at my center, teasing me. Slowly, he circles my opening before gently dipping one finger in.
The sensations overwhelm me as I stop sucking on his neck and ear to feel what he is giving me. He bends his head to take my nipple in his mouth as his finger begins working me in a steady pace.
When I start to take more from him, he adds a second finger, working me, stretching me, preparing me. I can only mumble as I feel this need build up inside me.
“More,” I cry out.
His teeth graze my nipple.
“Heath. Need. More,” I cry out each word, needing him. “You. Want. You. Now.”
“We can stop, LoraLeigh.” His words come out with a bite that reminds me how hard this is for him.
I look him in his eyes. “I want this. I want you. I love you, Heath. I don’t know much about real feelings, but I know I love you.”
My words break the last barrier between us, and then my panties are ripped from my body at both sides. He slides his pants down enough to free himself before reaching into his nightstand for a condom then covering himself.
Impatience overtakes me as I take him in my hand and guide him into me. He fills me emotionally and physically in a way I have never had before. Slowly, just like everything between us, I slide up and down on him. Giving and taking, we equally balance each other both in bed and in life.
His fingers make their way to my clit, and with few soft touches, I explode around him as my pussy continues to milk him until he goes over the edge behind me.
Today is the day I willingly give myself to a man. Today is the day I know what it is to be loved, completely and unconditionally.
; EPILOGUE
One Year Later
~Heath~
Things can change in the blink of an eye. I never would have thought I would win everything by winning one fight. My life was okay before LoraLeigh, but it was unfulfilled. The day she arrived on my doorstep, she wasn’t my payment; she was my lifeline.
My life has become so much more than working, fucking, and fighting since she came into it. To see the world through her eyes as she experiences so many things we have all taken for granted reminds me of how much she has survived.
In all our efforts, we never could find out who her dad is. Her mom truly had no family left. She should have ended up in foster care. It would have been an easier life than what she lived—that is for certain. She survived, though, and it led to her being dropped her off on my doorstep.
I was never one to really believe in fate, karma, love, or any of that. I believed you played the hand life dealt you and moved on.
Until LoraLeigh.
She taught me fate will bring two people together when it is meant to be. Karma will reward your goodness, even if you have to see beyond the moment to find it. Love is a powerful emotion that can heal the most tattered of hearts. LoraLeigh taught me, most of all, that you don’t merely play the hand life deals you and move on. You fight when you can’t fight anymore. Days will get dark at times, and you may want to give in, but there is a reason for your being.
She hasn’t harmed herself since the first day in my kitchen. I hope I can be the light to her dark, as she is my inner strength when I feel weak.
When we pull up to the court house, LoraLeigh looks over at me, and I simply smile at her. Walking around my truck, I open her door and take her by the hand to guide her out. Then I lace our hands together and shut the door before I lead her down to a small bench off to the side.
Heath (Roughneck Book 2) Page 4
