A Mother's Love

by Miss Dee

  He ordered his food and sat down in my booth. “Hey miss lady how you been?” he said. This man was fine he was high yellow. The man waves was on point and his muscular built was damn sexy.

  “I’m doing good” I said I heard the man call my number and got up. He noticed my baby bump.

  “Aw shit somebody carrying a load ain’t they?” I laughed and grabbed my food. He got up and blocked the door. “Why you look so sad?”

  And just like when I met Shane I burst into tears. The guy comforted me and calmed me down. I felt crazy it was like if somebody asked me how I felt I just couldn’t even answer. At least this time I didn’t seem crazy and weak I could blame the pregnancy.

  “Look you wanna go somewhere and talk?” I looked at him and thought hell no. Yeah talk right he wanted to fuck me. He must have read my mind because he made his intentions clear. “Look I really just wanna talk. Come on.”

  He led me to his car and made me sit in the warm leather seats. He ran back in and got his food. He started up the car and was about to drive off.

  “Wait my car.”

  He told me not to worry about it. It would be there when he dropped me off. He took me to his house and I have to say it was nice. Here I was a pregnant eighteen year old girl in the house with a man I didn’t know helpless yet I didn’t feel scared. I started to eat my food because I was really hungry and the baby was hungry too. Once I finished I began to speak.

  “So what’s your name?” I said finally. He was watching the basketball game.

  “She speaks.” He smiled, “My name is Vincent.”

  “Oh okay I’m Denesha.” I said filling full as ever.

  “Delightful, Denesha,” I started smiling.

  “So is it true that you’re a pimp?” I had seen it on his business card the night at the club. That was why I never called I thought he was trying to make me become one of his hoes.

  “No baby girl I run a strip club.” He laughed.

  “Aw. “ I said feeling silly.

  We chatted and I found out he was thirty two, divorced, he had one daughter she was twelve. I told him that I was eighteen I had two kids and this little bundle of joy on the way. I thought he was going to run once I told him that but he seemed okay. I guess he had heard of many situations he was older. He probably had seen so many females in my predicament that it didn’t matter. He told me that I was kind and I seemed to have a sincere heart. From that day forth I never shed another tear over Shane. Vincent helped me get over it. You know the saying to get over one get under another.

  Vincent went with me to my doctor checkups since Shane was too busy playing house with the Carrie bitch. I found out I was having another little boy. That was okay with me. I had succeeded in potty training the two year old Daphne so I was excited. Lo was having another girl and his relationship was going good. Except he was whooping Amanda’s ass, I felt bad for her but I wasn’t getting involved.

  Vincent took me shopping for the kids and myself. He let me buy whatever I wanted. I was considerate to not spend too much. I wasn’t trying to be greedy. We had fun together, he hated that I worked so hard but he loved that I was still going to school to become a social worker, my dream job. It was fun having Vincent around the kids liked him and Shane and Lo respected him, but we were just friends. He didn’t even try to have sex with me, we were stronger than that.

  Zaharra was in college she was becoming a dentist. We kicked it on occasion but she was seeing someone. I hadn’t met him yet. I guess he was her little secret. That was okay she probably didn’t want him around me and all my damn kids. I was at home alone with the kids and I was eight months. My pregnancy was a good one but I always felt like something was wrong. I think all the stress Shane put me through. My blood pressure was slightly high but nothing the doctor said to be alarmed about. Washing dishes one afternoon I felt a horrible pain in my stomach. I thought nothing of it maybe it was just a gas pain. I fixed Daphne’s hair for daycare the next day and put my kids to bed. It was about nine at night and my pain was getting worse. I went to the bathroom and there was blood.

  I called Shane at first but got no answer. I was scared and didn’t know what to do. I called Lo and his bitch picked up and hung up in my face. I even tried to call Zaharra but she must have been with her man. I called Rick, Red, and Yellow but no one answered. So I decided to call Vince. I knew he would be at the club but he was my last resort. He answered and immediately came and got me. He rushed me to the hospital. They told me I needed a c-section something was wrong with the baby. Vincent stayed in the waiting area with the kids while they performed my emergency c-section. Shamar was born weighing three pounds with under developed lungs. They said that my body was too weak to hold him.

  I had three kids within three years my body needed time to heal. I had almost killed my baby because I was being careless. I told the doctors to give me some birth control, as soon as possible. I should have been smarter but I loved my kids they were a blessing. They put me on the shot and I agreed. Vincent finally got in touch with my kids daddy and they came and got the kids. Shane came to see Shamar in the ICU. He was doing well and they said he would be fine.

  Chapter Eight

  I had decided after the scare with Shamar I was not having sex. It seemed like every time I did have sex I got pregnant. Vince was okay with that he still hung around, took me out, and kept me good. Especially since I lost my job after the unexpected labor, they wasn’t right because I had a legitimate reason. But it was okay Vince took care of me. He gave me two thousand dollars every two weeks. I paid my bills and put the rest up for the kids. I focused more on school and became a better mother. I didn’t work so I took my kids to the park, I took them to museums, and not the baby he wasn’t old enough. I cherished the moments I got to spend with them. They definitely kept me entertained with the different personalities. I never knew what the future would bring but in the present I was only concerned about making them happy.

  It had been six months since Shamar was born. And I thought it was time for me to give Vince a little taste. Yes I know what I said about no sex but honestly I was so damn horny I couldn’t take it anymore. The kids were gone with their Dads and I was all alone. I invited Vince over to watch a movie and when I answered I only had on my lingerie. He looked at me with confusion. He walked past me and into the living room. It was like I was unattractive to him. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong. He took care of me and the kids treated me right but I was still in the friend zone what was up with that?

  “Sit down, Delightful. “ He told me.

  I was embarrassed. I came and sat next to him. He grabbed my hand. “You look terrific baby girl.”

  I guess he had to assure me that he was indeed attracted to me. And of course who wouldn’t want me. After three kids my body was still banging. I had stretch marks where my ass had grown but my stomach was flat as a pancake.

  “Thank you,” I said being shy.

  “But baby I don’t wanna just have sex with you I want us to establish something. I’m too old for the games. So if you ready to give me your body then you better be ready to give me your heart.” That was the sweetest shit my ears had ever heard. I grabbed him and kissed him. I climbed on top of him and made him my man. I gave him my heart, my body, my soul.

  After that Vincent and I went house shopping. I picked out a four bedroom family house for us. For the next couple of weeks I went around shopping for each room. I made Daphne’s room into Dora the Explorer. The boys would share rooms and I made theirs Batman and Spiderman. Our room was beautiful I had the sexual colors in our room. You know hot red, calming browns, and sunshine yellow. Yes! The extra room was for an office. That way I could do my work and Vince could take care of business. We had two desks. I had the laptop and he had the desk top.

  I still went to school but I managed to get a part time job working at a group home for teens. I liked it. Hell in all honesty I was still a teen I was only nineteen years old. I couldn’t even buy alc
ohol but here I was purchasing a home with my man and raising three kids. Vince made sure he put my name on the property too. When his daughter came over, Victoria she slept in the room with Daphne. She actually liked having stepbrothers and sisters. We got along and surprisingly I got along with his ex wife.

  Her name was Tammy and she was beautiful. She reminded me of Halle Berry. I mean the woman was gorgeous. She had remarried and was happy. She didn’t have any more kids. Her and Vince was long over and she just wanted to see him happy. She didn’t judge me in my face but I’m sure she talked shit about me behind my back. She stayed very casual with me. Her husband on the other hand was another story. Tyler Pierce, he was older, way older, he was in his sixties. He was a lawyer who used to be a Gangsta. You could tell he was an OG from the way that he walked and talked. I knew Vince was a gangsta but he didn’t act like one.

  I had decided to spend the afternoon with Nancy. We still had a bond that could not be broken. She was like my Mom and although we had our ups and downs we still had a strong bond. We decided to eat at Olive Garden. I had Daphne with us and the two boys were at the house with Vincent.

  “So are yall going to get married?”Nancy asked me as she ate her soup.

  I nibbled on my salad as I waited for my spaghetti. “I don’t know yet we just comfortable as we are.”

  “Girl don’t let that man take advantage of you. Now I know yall are comfortable but you also got three kids. Kids which I might add are not his. So what you need to be figuring out is why he is so nice to you.”

  “Nancy he say he love me. And I think it’s true. Cause he treat me so good.”

  “Alright don’t say I didn’t warn you. That man got motives behind what he doing for you.”

  I had heard this so many times from Zaharra too. She felt that Vince was taking advantage of me. But I think that people were just jealous. But I did have to think what were Vince and I doing. We had been dating officially for about a year. He hadn’t asked me to be his wife or anything so what was he doing. He made sure I was taken care of so what were his plans?

  I went home after that brunch and got to asking Vincent questions. He was in the living room watching Shamar play on his little Tonka truck and Jr. was playing with some crayons.

  “Hey baby I missed you.” Vince said as I sat next to him on the couch.

  “Hey Vince I need to talk to you about something.”

  “What’s wrong baby?”

  “I need to know where this is headed. I have kids that I have to worry about. I don’t want for one day you to up and leave me. And then I have no place to go.”

  “Wait. Where is this coming from?” he asked I could tell he was frustrated.

  “Look Shane and I were living good but when things got rough he left.”

  “Look baby I’m a grown ass man, Shane he may be twenty two but he still got little boy thoughts. I ain’t gone leave you or your kids to be left out in the cold. I’m here I’m staying and you staying.”

  “Well why?” I had to ask I didn’t do anything spectacular for Vince.

  I know he had better sex, he been with a way prettier ladies, I had all these kids, and I was still a child I brought nothing to the table.

  “Girl have a little bit of confidence in yourself. I love you because you not trying to use me. You are sincere with everything you do for me. You made mistakes but you don’t try to pin it on nobody you take care of these kids. I love you because you are you and you don’t pretend for nobody.” He made me feel special and after that talk I was content with my man and what we were doing, whatever that was.

  Living with Vince was great. The kids and I didn’t want for anything. He eventually paid off the house so we were living good. He had bought a club on top of having the strip club. We had gone to Vegas and let me tell you what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas; we did some pretty freaky things. He took the kids to Disney World, and then we went to South Beach for a week. Three years had passed and I had not gotten pregnant. That birth control shit really worked. My little sister Tesha had started coming around more since she was eighteen. My Mom had kept her from me saying I would be a bad influence with all my kids.

  It was my twenty first birthday and for once I was not pregnant. Vince was throwing me a huge party at the club. I had bought me an all white cat suit. I had some gold goddess heels to match with my accessories and I definitely was going to be the life of the party. I got my hair straighten. Over the years my hair was still long and was down to my ass now. I guess kids do help something.

  The night of the party was jumping Rick came and brought his boyfriend Aaron, then Red and Yellow was there dressed to the nine. And of course Zaharra’s big booty ass came with her man. She was pregnant so she wasn’t going to be partying like me. I finally got to meet her boyfriend Marcus. He was cute so I gave her props and got my party on the music was knocking in my eardrums. I was dancing and drinking Nuvo like it was water.

  I was dancing for Vince and he was having a good time. Niggas was mad as I danced in the crowd I gave them no love. They knew Vince was my man. I waved to him in VIP and blew him kisses. We ended the night in a hotel room making love. The love making was strong and intense it was like I was falling in love all over again. Vince asked me if I would have his baby that took me by surprise but I told him I had to think about that.

  I talked to Nancy about the whole baby idea. She told me hell you done had everybody else baby. And I had to agree. Plus my kids were older. Daphne was now five and such a big girl helping me out. Shamar was two and Jr. was three. All of them was out of diapers so why not was the answer. I would be completing my Bachelors in Social Work next year so I might as well give my man a baby.

  I stopped getting my shot and we started working on a baby. It was funny actually planning a baby. It seemed like accidents happened faster. But after three months we got pregnant. It was exciting. It was the first time I didn’t feel scared I felt secure. We had just gotten our ultrasound and found out we were having a girl. I was elated. Daphne needed a little sister. We decided to name her Violet.

  It was a hot day. I was six months pregnant. That day for some reason I was irritable hot. The kids were with their daddies for the weekend and Vince and I were going shopping for some nursery things. We decided to let Daphne have her room to herself. We had decided to get rid of the office room. I was really irritated and I didn’t wanna go out.

  Vince was excited he hadn’t gone shopping for a baby, well his own baby in fifteen years. We got in the car and were headed for the mall. We jumped on the highway and I noticed a black car following us. I thought I was tripping and since Vince didn’t seem worried I was not going to worry. He was excited and ready to hit up the mall. We got to the parking lot and I noticed the black car again. I was about to say something to Vince about it but it was too late. The black car sped up raised down the windows and started shooting. I opened my door and rolled out of my seat onto the concrete. I made sure to fall on my back as not to hurt my stomach. I heard people screaming and glass shattering. I heard the car screech off and I got up. I looked at the car in horror. There was Vince lying on the steering wheel, blood everywhere, holes all throughout his body. I knew he was dead. My knees buckled, and I felt really hot and then everything went black. I woke up in the hospital. My body felt sore and I was confused. When I started to remember I started screaming Vince’s name. A nurse rushed in and calmed me down.

  “Ma’ am you are going to have to calm down the baby is already in stress from the shooting.”

  That made me calm down I didn’t wanna lose the only thing that was attached to Vince. I cried but I tried to remain calm. I called Zaharra and she was happy I was okay. My sister Tesha came up to the hospital to visit me. She told me my kids were still with their daddies. She was going to get them and bring them to see me.

  I had gotten shot in the shoulder. I was ready to go home although I dreaded Vince not being there. I had to make the funeral arrangements. I was released from the hosp
ital two weeks later. I made funeral arrangements for my beloved and was preparing myself to deal with my lost. It was hard explaining everything to the kids they adored Vince.

  I used all the money in Vince’s safe for his funeral. It didn’t matter the house was paid for, so the utilities bills could be paid for with my job. I could just ask for more hours. It had been a month since Vince’s death. I was dealing well with the lost. Even the kids were okay now. They were just confused and Shamar my youngest would sometimes ask for Vince and I had to explain the he was gone and wasn’t coming back. It was hard to explain the lost to the kids. At the funeral Daphne broke down I wanted her to see what was going on I wanted them to understand.

  I was coming home from work. I had just got the kids and when we pulled up to the house the sheriff was there. I made my kids stay in the car and got out.

  “Ma’ am are you Denesha?”

  “Yeah that’s me.” I said to the officer. He was white with gray hair.

  “You need to get some of your things out the house this house now belongs to the Federal government.” I damn near lost my mind.

  “What the fuck do you mean? This house is paid for.” I said.

  “Yeah paid with drug money, this is the last time I am going to tell you get your stuff and get out.”

  I ran into the house and tried to grab as much stuff as I could. I was crying and distraught. I called Yellow hoping she would answer I had nowhere to go. Yellow told me that we could come stay with her for awhile.

  Chapter Nine

  That was years ago. Now I was with a terrific man. Quincy was everything to me. Vince was everything until I found out that he was a drug dealer. He tried to act all intelligent and was out of the street life. When really he was a damn drug dealer who left me with nothing that lie almost cost me my life and my kids. The shit l learned after he died was indescribable. I thought after the sheriff let me go that everything was okay. But they hunted me down at my job and started asking me questions. They arrested me in front of my co workers. So you know that was a wrap for my job.