A Mother's Love

by Miss Dee

  “So if I go through with this you gone be right there with me?”

  “Of course.” I said.

  We had just finished eating and were waiting on dessert. I had ordered a cheesecake.

  “I mean you know I’m gone be out of town a lot and doing shows. You can’t be thinking I’m fucking around or nothing you gotta be secure about us.”

  “I know baby do I be tripping on you now?”

  “Naw you don’t but that all could change.”

  “It won’t.” I said giving him a kiss.

  The waiter brought our dessert. I was looking at my scrumptious cheesecake, Mike had some ice cream. They put the cake in front of me and I was nervous. Was that a ring on top? I looked at Mike shit I didn’t want to assume he was purposing and it was for me. He looked at me and smiled.

  “Baby pick up that ring and put it on your finger.” I started crying.

  Oh it was for me. I grabbed the ring. I licked the ring. And put it on my finger.

  “I already know your answer so I ain’t even gone ask.” I laughed he was so cocky. But he was right he did know me and I knew him and I knew that I loved him and wanted to be with only him.

  “Yeah you know me too well.”

  We sat and ate our dessert I had a smile on face the entire time. Here I was about to get married, and it was to a man I actually loved. My mama would be so happy for me right now her oldest child was getting married. I was happy but some part of me was sad. I needed my Mama.

  We left the restaurant and headed to the hospital to see Grandma. She still hadn’t died and I was happy she hadn’t. She was holding on but she was going to die soon. I wonder what she was holding on to. This was Mike’s first time coming to the hospital with me. And although Grandma wasn’t responsive I still wanted them to meet. We walked into the room and Grandma was still laying in the bed sleep. She was unconscious. I still came to see her at least every other day. I sat next to her bed and grabbed her hand.

  “Grandma this is Mike.” I said “He just proposed to me. So we going to have some kids, yeah I know you never liked Terance. Well I am over him.” I said laughing.

  Grandma didn’t even know Terance was married she just never liked him. That was crazy. I remember when I brought him home to have dinner with us. He walked in the kitchen and Grandma hugged me.

  “Grandma this is Terance, Terance this is my Grandma Nancy.” He reached out his hand towards her and she looked at it with disgust.

  “Um,” she turned her lips up, “Seem like I just lost my appetite.” She said and walked in her room.

  Yeah Granny was a trip. Terance was upset and wanted to leave after that. When we got in the car he lit right in me.

  “Your stupid ass family was her old ass drunk or something.” He said driving me back to my house.

  “You better be glad I didn’t slap the old heifer. I see why you act the way you do you was raised by that old heifer. She had some nerve.” For Terance to be a teacher he had a nasty attitude and horrible language. He cursed like a sailor.

  “So yeah Granny I am happy now. Mike loves me unconditionally.” I looked at Mike and smiled. He was standing next to me. He hadn’t said a word.

  “Well we gone leave Granny.” I got up and kissed my Granny forehead.

  Mike came and kissed her forehead too. We were walking out of the room when her heart rate went flat. The machine started to buzz. I started calling for the nurses but I knew there was nothing she could do. They ran in and tried to bring her back but she was gone. Mike grabbed me and held me all the way to the car. Grandma Nancy had finally passed away but she knew her baby girl was happy.

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Violet

  Daphne’s Grandmother Nancy had passed so we were on our way to her funeral. Kane and I rode in our car, Daphne rode in the limo with Mike, her father Lo and his wife Amanda. Shamar, Jr., and Brittany rode together. It was an awful experience. I cried for my sister Grandma Nancy was like her mother after our Mom died. I was kind of crying for myself too. I didn’t have anybody really. I had my siblings but I didn’t have an older adult in my life like a mother or father. Aunt Tesha raised me but she wasn’t a real parent.

  Aunt Tesha never really wanted any kids. I guess our Grandmother had put so much stuff in her head about Mom and having kids that she didn’t want any kids. I was her child that she didn’t want. She took me in after Mom died but only because she didn’t want me to go to the state. I remember the day after Mom died. We were in the kitchen eating and Q told us that they were coming for him soon and we were going to be split up. I didn’t know what was really going on but my siblings did. Daphne started crying.

  “Why Q? Why you can’t stay with us and take care of us? You don’t want us now that Mama dead.”

  “Naw baby it’s not that. I love yall kids like my own but I did something bad and I have to be punished.” He said grabbing Daphne.

  “Why cause you killed that nigga that killed Mama?” Shamar said. He was only seven at the time but he knew a lot.

  “Aye don’t talk like that Mar. Although Ricky was wrong that don’t mean I was right.” Q said. A week later we were placed in foster care. Shamar and Jr.’s dad Shane came to get them first. He was talking all kinds of shit.

  “Why the fuck yall got my little niggas up in here. Yall muthafucka should have contacted me.”

  But he knew Mama was dead so he should have come to get his kids but since Quincy was out he thought that he would take care of them. But the state did not think that Quincy was a good role model. Next Nancy, Lo, and his wife came to get Daphne. She asked them could I come but they looked at her and shook their head. I wasn’t their blood so I wasn’t their responsibility.

  They left me and I was scared. I was in there a month at that group home for a month alone. Shamar would sneak in my room that I shared with five other kids. I would cry all night and all day. I felt so unwanted. I didn’t understand why my Dad never came to get me. So about a month of being in the group home I finally was saved by Aunt Tesha. I don’t know what made her come to get me but I was glad she did.

  She was an okay parent at first when I was younger. I guess inside she really did want a child but all the things my Grandmother had told her had got to her. She bought me clothes and she made sure me and my siblings were together and knew each other. Shamar was the only one who made sure he would come and see me even when we didn’t have play dates. He even transferred to my elementary school. That is how we got close he made sure he went to the same schools as me. He was my protector, my big brother.

  Daphne would call me every day and we would talk for hours, we haven’t done that lately. She would always apologize for her Grandma and Dad since they didn’t take me in. But I told her it was okay. Jr. really never talked to me. I don’t know why I think he kind of felt bad for me. He was never a real big brother when we were younger but now we were closer than ever. I was working with him now on how he could get Beauty. I was about twelve when Aunt Tesha told me about my Mom and Dad and it was not a sit down let’s discuss what happened it was out of hate.

  One day I had come home late from school. At age twelve I had started wearing makeup and wearing kinky twists and micro braids. I loved weave because I really did have short hair. So I walked in and Aunt Tesha went in on me. So I responded by telling her that she was not my Mother or Father.

  And she went to respond by saying, “Oh shit you think I care about not being that fag or that whore. Yeah your fag ass father was fucking your mother’s friend Ricky boyfriend. That’s why she dead and he dead! Now I gotta take care of your little bad ass.” I didn’t have a response. I just ran in my room and called Mar Mar he would tell me.

  I called my brother and he told me he would ask Quincy about it. A week later he confirmed my greatest fear it was my Dad’s fault. Mar Mar told me it was okay and that they still loved me. I never forgave Aunt Tesha after that. I lived with her and she bought me things and she let my siblings come over but she d
id not like me she didn’t like us. That was how we grew apart and our relationship would never be mended.

  After the funeral we had the wake at our house. I didn’t want my sister to have to clean up and cook for people this was her lost. I had cooked all the food too. Yeah I could cook just like my sister but I just didn’t like it like she did. I made baked beans, ribs, chicken, greens, yams, cornbread, Mac n cheese, we had ham, and assorted rolls. Yeah I had hooked it up the only person who knew I knew how to cook was my siblings and Kane. All the guest were complimenting my food. I told them to take plates. After the guest left Shamar, Kane, Mike, Jr., Daphne, and I blazed and drank. We talked about all types of stuff. Brittany had gone home she didn’t wanna be around the smoke. This was what I lived for kicking it with the people I love. And I had to admit I really did love Kane. He was my everything.

  After that incident at the club we started talking more. He got a maid to come do his laundry but I still cleaned and cooked. I even enjoyed it now that it wasn’t a chore it was something I did for the man I loved yeah he was wonderful. After they left we cuddled and fell asleep. The next morning I woke up to some red roses next to me. Aw Kane was sweet when he wanted to be. I got dressed and got ready for my Monday morning class. I had decided to add an extra class to my schedule. I wasn’t doing anything anyway. After class I rode to the hood to talk to Cashmere.

  We had talked since that night at the club and she was upset at first but once she found out what happened she laughed at me. And I couldn’t blame her cause I was in the wrong. She was glad that I was okay and I was glad that we were still friends. I pulled up to Cashmere’s building and it was plenty people out as usual. I hadn’t told her I was coming so I pushed the doorbell.

  “Who is it!” She screamed from the window.

  “Violet!” She buzzed me in. I walked in her apartment and was surprised I didn’t find a million muthafucka.

  “Where the hell is everybody at?” I said sitting on her couch.

  “Girl please muthafucka better stay away from me. My muthafucking rent money got stole and nobody knows what happened. Stupid ass muthafucka.” She said lighting a blunt.

  “Damn girl that’s fucked up.”

  “What’s fucked up is how you didn’t tell me what happened to Cash.” She said passing me the blunt.

  “I don’t know what you mean. I told you me and Daph had to whoop his ass and I never heard from him again.”

  “Well, some of his body parts were found they saying he was cut in pieces. They said Mar Mar did it.”

  I couldn’t believe what she was saying my brother didn’t have anything to do with Cash being killed. If he got killed that had nothing to do with Mar Mar. He would have told me. We were too close. Why would he keep a secret from me?

  Shamar

  Man things were looking good on the streets and money was nothing. Roberto was supplying me with so much dope at a low price that I was getting cash out the ass. Shit wasn’t looking too good on the home front though. Lorina had been calling Brittany’s phone I didn’t even know how the chick got her number. Brittany was not happy and neither was I shit she was about to be stressed out because of me. I got her a new number just so the calls would stop. But she was still pissed.

  I had spoken to Roberto about Lorina and he said “I warned you about my daughter now this is your problem.” And then he laughed.

  I didn’t find shit funny but I guess he was right he told me to stop fucking with her but I didn’t listen.

  My houses were doing well too. The house on 124 had been bugged so we could watch their activities. Geno my man from out of town had come to bug the house. I told the crew that I though we was being watched and shut down the house for a day. It seemed like they were scared. So I knew they were on something and they didn’t even say shit about their pay cut, so I knew something was up. I had Cam watching those niggas. We hadn’t seen anything suspicious yet but we had only been watching them for a week now, those niggas was going to slip.

  I had got a text from my baby sister Violet and she told me she wanted to talk to me. We hadn’t kicked it since Sissy’s Grandmother’s funeral so I was with it. She told me to meet her at the ice cream shop on 54th. I had to go to my other stashes and collect because the first of the month was right around the corner. I tried to keep a minimum amount of money in my stash spots just in case a nigga tried to rob me. I got there an hour later. I saw Violet sitting in a booth. She had a chocolate malt that she was sipping on. She had her weave in a ponytail and she had on some pants and a t shirt. She looked like something was wrong because she was tapping her acrylic nails. I hope that nigga Kane wasn’t hitting her. I sat at the booth and I looked like I startled her.

  “What up sis what’s wrong?” I said sliding across from her.

  “Mar Mar you would never lie to me right?”

  “Naw why what’s wrong?”

  “Mar did you kill Cash?” Damn she found out. I wondered who told her. I bet it was Daphne’s ass. I looked at my sister and I couldn’t lie.

  “Yeah,” she started crying. Was she serious? This nigga had tried to fuck her up and she was crying cause I protected her. “Who told you Daphne?” I wanted to know.

  She looked shocked. “Oh so Daphne knew about the shit too!”

  Damn I had fucked up. She got up and I tried to grab her. “Get the fuck off me you ain’t shit. You just like any other nigga lie and keep secrets! And you suppose to be my brother” she stormed out and left me sitting there.

  I had really had fucked up I texted Daphne to let her know that Violet had found out. All she said was “smh”.

  Daphne understood I know Violet would get over it she always did. I loved my sister and I hope she loved me more than some nigga. I left the ice cream parlor and went home. I was hoping like hell Brittany was not on some bullshit. The entire drive home I just could not understand why Violet was so mad. She had never been this mad at me before but I had never kept a secret from her before neither.

  I made my way to my apartment. I took out my keys and unlocked the door. I sat my keys on the kitchen. I thought Brittany would be in the living room but she wasn’t. She must be in the backroom. I poured me some juice and headed to the bedroom. This day could not get any worse. My heart, my baby sister was mad at me. She had never been mad at me I was always the person that could make her smile. I needed to talk to Brit she would know how to fix this I opened my bedroom door and my cup dropped out of my hand and splashed on my beige carpet. There was Jr. my muthafucking brother in between my bitch legs eating her pussy. Aw fuck no! That nigga had jumped up and I jumped on his ass. I punched that nigga right in his nose. I was mad as hell. He grabbed me and wrestled me to the ground. He held me down.

  “I’m not about to fight you, nigga, calm down.” He said still grabbing me.

  I was little compared to Jr. so he had a grip on me. I had to calm down for right now. He let me go and he ran out that house he knew I was gone fuck him up. Brittany dumb ass was sitting on the bed crying.

  “I’m sorry baby,” she said trying to come up to me. I slapped the shit out of her.

  “Bitch get out.” I said. “When I come back you bet not be here.”

  I left and headed to my big sister’s house. Shit was just getting fucked up. My spots was being watched, my baby sister was pissed and my brother was fucking my bitch. What a day what a muthafucking day!

  Chapter Twenty Eight

  Jr.

  I had tried to call Shamar every since the incident with Brittany but he was not taking any of my calls. I even went as far as too text him apologies every morning but he was not going for that. Summer was ending soon and I was sad for that the fall would come and then the brutal winter. I never wanted anything to happen between Brittany and I it just did. It was my fault though.

  I had come over there without calling. I just wanted to surprise my baby brother since I hadn’t seen him since Daphne’s grandmother’s funeral. I had wanted to thank him for buying my kids cl
othes for the winter. He went to pick up everything without me knowing. I came to the building and Brittany let me up. She opened the door and I could tell she had just gotten out the shower. She had on some short little pajama pants and her ass was hanging out.

  “Oh hey Jr. how you get up here?” she asked giving me a hug. I swear my dick got on brick just feeling her skin up against mine. She smelled like melons.

  “Somebody was leaving and they let me up.” I said following her into the living room. We sat on the brown suede couch.

  “Shamar not even here.” She said changing the channel. She looked good too. Her hair was pinned up and the way she was sitting on the couch gave me full access view to that ass.

  “Aw you know when he coming back?” I asked.

  “Nope you know him he come and go as he pleases.” And then she started crying. I went on the couch and sat next to her.

  “What’s wrong Brit?”I asked as I hugged her.

  “He was cheating on me with some Puerto Rican bitch.” She said still crying, “the bitch been calling me and shit. Your brother is wrong I can’t believe he would do this to me.” She started crying harder.

  “Brit calm down it’s okay.” I said then she looked at me and gave me a kiss on the mouth.

  I turned my head and tried to object but she went full force on me. She got to tonguing me down. She grabbed my hand and escorted me into their room. She didn’t say a word she just pulled of her shorts and laid on the bed. I immediately went to work and about five minutes later Shamar caught us. That was a fucked up day! But today would be better. I was no longer thinking about Shamar and Brittany I was thinking about Beauty.

  I had talked to her and I told her I knew everything about her being a prostitute because she was sold to Lil Spank. She cried and immediately confided in me. She told me everything I needed to know about Lil Spank so that I could bring him down. Violet and Kane was going to help me. We had set everything up for tonight and I was ready. I had never done anything like this before. I mean I was 5’ 10 and I was 197 lbs I could fuck a nigga up but to kill Shane MarQues Odom Jr. had never done that. I know Shamar had killed before but that was him that was the life he chose. I was a ladies’ man and I had learned to fight to protect the ladies but I had never killed to protect the ladies.