Stryker's Salvation (A Savage Saints MC Book 3)

by J. Lynn Lombard

  I raise an eyebrow and look into her eyes. “You kicked them all out?”

  The bed dips when she sits next to me. “Yes, I did.” She pushes her messy hair from her face and smiles proudly at herself. “They dragged you into the Clubhouse shouting and I kind of lost it. No one would say what happened. All I saw was you bloody, bruised and your clothes were torn. I told them if they couldn’t help, then they could get the fuck out.” She shrugs a shoulder, wringing her fingers together in her lap. “Can you tell me what happened?” Holly looks at me with hope in her eyes.

  I rest my head against the headboard and close my eyes, trying to remember something. When I open them, Holly is still looking at me, hoping for something. Something from me reassuring her she didn’t make a mistake last night.

  I sigh, “I wish I could. All I can remember is doing our run, a car coming up behind us and then being at the repair shop. It’s like my mind is blocking everything else.”

  “Oh,” Holly looks away, defeat in her eyes.

  I raise my hand and slide her face so she’s looking at me again. “Holly, I swear I don’t remember anything else. When I do, you’ll be the first one I tell.” My lips are inches from hers and I want to close the distance between us. “I promise.”

  “OK.” She closes her eyes and releases a deep sigh. Her sweet, succulent breath fans across my face. The warmth from her body is a welcomed feeling I don’t want to let go. “Are you feeling good enough for a shower?”

  “Why? Are you going to join me?” I ask, wiggling my eyebrows. Images of her naked, wet body pressed against mine fill my head.

  “No, but I would help you if you needed it.” She whispers against my lips.

  “Then, yeah I do need a shower. If you’re willing to soap me up, I’m willing.” I grin. Shit that hurt. “How bad do I look?”

  “Pretty bad. I wiped most of the blood off your face but now it’s starting to bruise and swell. I bet when you move, your body will be sore too.” Holly reaches up and brushes my hair off my forehead. I close my eyes against her gentle touch, enjoying this time with her. She wasn’t this attentive when I was shot and I’m trying to figure out what’s different. “Come on, I’ll help you. The warm water might help with the aches.” I feel the bed move when Holly gets up.

  She disappears into the bathroom and I hear the water turn on. She comes back out a few minutes later and stands next to me. I move slightly to swing my legs off the bed but my upper body screams in protest.

  “Fuck that hurts,” I grit through my teeth, breathing hard. “What the fuck happened to me?” I ask out loud.

  “I don’t know but let’s do this nice and easy.” Holly reaches down to help me move. I swing my legs over the side of the bed and sit upright. My head spins and I have to stop for a minute. She reaches around me, wrapping her arm around my waist. “Ready? On the count of three, we’re going to stand. If it hurts, say something.”

  “Ready,” I answer. I inhale a sharp breath, bracing for the pain.

  “One. Two. Three.” Holly counts off. We stand up and pain shoots through my upper body and head. I’m resting most of my weight on her tiny body and I have no idea how she’s holding me up. “There we go. Now one foot in front of the other.”

  I take a small step, expecting pain but the more I move, the less pain I’m in. We shuffle into the bathroom and Holly turns me so I’m not looking in the mirror. I don’t want to see how bad I look anyway. She reaches for the frost-covered shower door and keeps her back to me.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Giving you privacy to finish undressing,” I swear if I could see her, she’d be rolling her eyes.

  I look down and notice I’m only in my black boxers. “Did you undress me?”

  “Yes.” Holly turns around and looks me right in the eyes. “You looked uncomfortable so I took off your clothes.” Her neck and cheeks turn red at her admission. I drop my boxers and step out of them. Holly’s eyes drift down to my junk and grow wide with surprise. “What are you doing!” She screeches and whips around so fast, her messy hair hits me in the face.

  I try to hold back a laugh. I love teasing her and making her cheeks turn pink. “I’m getting in the shower.” I rest a palm on her shoulder and carefully step inside. Holly turns and helps me the rest of the way in.

  “You could have warned me.” She grumbles. Her face is still beet red.

  “Yeah, I could have but where would the fun be in that?” I swear if flames shot out of her eyes, I’d be dead.

  She flattens her tiny palm against my chest and heat races through my body, making my tongue stick to the roof of my mouth. I have no words. She’s never touched me this much before and I’m loving it. I’m loving the feel of her soft hands against my rough skin. The burn from her touch ignites a need I don’t want to get rid of. Clearing my throat, I try to find something to say. Anything to release this tension between us, but nothing comes to mind.

  Her soft voice penetrates in my head, “I’m going to step out and give you privacy.”

  I swallow the lump forming in my throat, “No, stay.” The vulnerability in my voice gives her everything I’m trying to say.

  “OK, but I’m not coming in there with you.” She shuts the shower door and I watch as she sits on the countertop, resting her head and back against the mirror. She closes her eyes and releases a deep, shaky breath.

  I duck my head under the water and let the heat soothe my aching muscles. Once the water turns warm, I swiftly wash my hair and body. I turn the water off and open the shower door, standing in all my naked glory, dripping wet with a hard-on I couldn’t relieve. Holly jumps off the counter with a towel in her hand, her head cocked to the side. Her face turns a deep shade of red and her breathing picks up.

  I take the towel from her outstretched hand, making sure my fingers brush against hers. Total jackass move on my part, but I can’t help it. I love watching her body react to my touch. The way her breath hitches in her throat, her nipples tightening against the fabric of her tank top. The rapid rise and fall of her chest. The way her eyelids lower, her brown eyes dilating with longing. I need to know I’m not the only one burning with want and desire.

  “Thanks.” I dry myself off, wincing with pain when the soft fabric brushes against my face.

  “Here, let me help,” Holly offers, taking the towel from my grip.

  She rubs it along my back and down my legs, creating a desire deep in my core. Holly moves to my front and does the same, working her way up my body. A groan escapes my throat when she reaches my stomach avoiding my hard as steel cock and I try to tamp down the urge to fuck this woman senseless, but I’m losing the battle. This woman will be the death of me.

  Closing my eyes, breathing harshly through my nose, I attempt to calm the fire burning through my veins, but it’s no use. I’m so far gone I can’t think, see or breath normally. She’s slowly killing me with her touch.

  “There all done.” She softly whispers against my neck. My eyes pop open and stare at the two of us in the mirror. The top of Holly’s head comes up to my neck. I press her small body against my naked torso, my arm is around her shoulders, holding her against me. Her dark, sun-kissed, freckled skin is a contrast to my pale and bruised body. We fit perfectly together. I just need to get rid of my demons haunting me.

  “Thanks,” I say around the lump in my throat. Holly’s eyes meet mine in the mirror and we stare at each other, not saying a word. Something changes between us at this moment. Something sweet and caring passes from her to me. Her eyes hooded with desire and her pulse races against her neck. I’ll bet if my fingers find her pussy, it’ll be soaking wet for me.

  I turn so I press the front of my body against her. Her legs part, straddling my leg to push against her pussy. I push her messy hair out of her face with my fingertips and push it behind her ear. “I want you so desperately right now,” I breathe into her.

  Holly gasps and her chest rises and falls with hurried motions. “We can’t, S
tryker.” The hurt in her voice penetrates deep into my chest.

  “Why not? You want me, Holly. I can smell it. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it with the way your body reacts to my touch.” I shift my leg to rub against her hot pussy and I place my palm over her thumping heart. “Give me one good reason why you shouldn’t take what you want.”

  Holly licks her lips, drawing my attention to them and hesitates before answering. “Because there are things about me you don’t know, Stryker. Before we even get that far, I need to know it’s not a one time, fuck me and leave me thing. I’ve been through so much in the past that I don’t know how to trust.”

  She pulls away and I want to yank her back toward me, living in her warmth. She takes all the coldness out of my dead heart. “In order to move forward, I need you to show me you trust me.” Holly holds my head in the palm of her hands like she holds my heart, only thing is she hasn’t figured that part out yet. “Show me, Stryker.” The emotions in her voice choke me.

  “I will Holly, I swear on everything, I will.” I rest my forehead against hers and breath in her sweet scent. If this is the last time for a while I get to be this close to her, I’m grabbing it with both hands and not letting go until she makes me. Her lips gently brush my cheek and I fight with everything I have not to turn my head and kiss her. The softness of her touch lingers on my skin long after she leaves the bathroom.

  I don’t know how long I stand there with my eyes closed, wishing to be born a better man. A man worthy of her, but I vow deep in my heart and in the depth of my tarnished soul, I will not disappoint Holly. I will give her everything I have and get her to trust me. Now, I have only to bury the evil in my past and make the voices go away. If it’s the last thing I do, I will become the man she needs me to be, even if I take my dying breath to get there.

  Chapter 3

  Holly

  I bolt out of the bathroom and pace back and forth in Stryker’s room. I don’t look around but I know every nook and cranny in here. His king-size bed is against the farthest wall, the rumpled sheets and blue bedspread is at the foot of the bed. An oak dresser sits next to the door and a closet is next to the bathroom. There’s not much in here but that’s because Stryker doesn’t use this room a lot. He has a ranch-style house in the country that I’ve been to once. I might have escaped the torture I’m putting my body through in the bathroom but my feet won’t walk out of here and into the safety of my own room. My heart is pounding hard against my chest and my breathing is harsh. I can’t control my body’s reaction to him just like I have no control over my heart.

  What did I just do?

  What the hell just happened in there?

  Tears form and fall down my cheeks. I swipe them away with the palm of my hands and release a deep breath.

  Get ahold of yourself, Holly. I chide myself. He’s not like the others.

  I’ve been burned so badly in the past. I don’t know how to trust anyone, just like I told him. The secrets I carry haunt me every night. They invade my dreams and turn them into nightmares.

  Sleeping next to Stryker was the first time in several years I slept all night without waking up in a cold sweat, fear gripping my heart like a vice squeezing it until I can’t breathe. And when I woke up, I felt refreshed. Reinvigorated. Ready to take anything head-on and not let up.

  Then reality came crashing back down onto me and I had to get out of the small bathroom before I gave into my desires and let Stryker take my body. I want him to own me, love me, cherish me. But I want to do it the right way.

  I have a bad track record of making the wrong decisions and the emotional scars I carry remind me every day, I’m not normal. I’ll never be normal. The damage had been done before I even knew what was going on. Another secret I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. Another mask to hide behind.

  I’m pacing Stryker’s bedroom, one foot in front of the other. All the pent up energy thrumming through my body needs an outlet and this is the best way. The sun is peeking through the horizon and is shining warm rays through his bedroom window. Little dust particles float in front of me and I’m mesmerized by them. I stop pacing and stare as they float around in front of me.

  Warm arms wrap around my waist and my body reacts, melting against Stryker’s strong chest pressed against my back. Damn traitorous body.

  “I thought you would’ve left,” Stryker’s deep rich voice floats across my neck as he whispers. An uncontrollable shiver races down my spine and my nipples harden against the silk of my tank top. Damn it.

  I stiffen my spine and shrug, not moving from his embrace. “Wasn’t sure if you still needed my help?” I say it as a question instead of a command.

  “I’ll always need you, Holly.” The way my name rolls off Stryker’s tongue turns my insides to mush.

  We stand in the sunlight filtering through the window and watch the sun rise higher and higher in the sky, casting the clouds in purple and red hues. The warmth of Stryker against my back and the sun coming into the room is making my skin itch. My anxiety is creeping into the back of my head. Will he let me go if I try to move or will he force me to stay and take from me what he wants just like the rest of them did?

  I’m afraid to find out. I’m scared he’s just like the rest of them, taking what they want whether or not it’s against my will. So, I straighten my spine, ready to flee the moment he tries anything. Stryker must sense my discomfort because he releases me and I can breathe again.

  He sits on the edge of the bed with a pained grunt. I carefully turn around. Stryker’s face is etched with worry and pain. He rests his hands on his knees and raises his sapphire eyes up my body until he’s looking at me straight in the eyes.

  “What happened?” Shit, now he thinks my reaction is his fault. It’s not. Not really.

  “What do you mean?” I whisper into the quiet room.

  Stryker’s breathing is harsh, his nostrils flare on his handsome, day old stubble face. “You’re afraid of me.” Stryker pulls himself together and the look on his face, the wallow of defeat that crosses his features breaks my heart.

  I don’t answer. My breathing becomes rapid. I can’t remove my tongue from the roof of my mouth and speak the words he needs to hear. I’m not afraid of him, I’m afraid of myself.

  The bed creaks as Stryker stands up and gently steps toward me. “Holly, calm down.” His strong hands rest on my shoulders. Stryker lifts my chin until I’m staring into his eyes. “I will not hurt you, I swear. I need you to calm down before you leave though, please.”

  I look into the depths of his eyes and know he will not hurt me. He would never hurt me. My mind is playing tricks on me and I need to control it better before I push him away. I close my eyes and inhale. His masculine scent wraps around me, calming me down.

  No, I’m not afraid of Stryker. I’m afraid of what he can do to me, yes, but I’m not afraid of him. I’m afraid for him. Shit runs through my head even I don’t understand sometimes. He’s never physically hurt me. Never even hinted at forcing me to do something I didn’t want to do.

  “There you are. Now, can you talk to me?” Stryker asks, running his hands down my back in soothing motions. When did he do that? How long has he been holding me, comforting me?

  I slip on the mask I’ve perfected over the years and inhale a shaky breath. “It’s nothing. Don’t worry.” I act as casually as possible. “Everyone will be up soon and I need to get breakfast going. Do you want to help?” The words roll off my tongue and I want to snatch them back but I can’t.

  A smile plays on Stryker’s face, “I’d love too, but as I said before, you’re not their servant.” His voice is rich and harsh.

  “I know that. I enjoy cooking for everyone. It’s who I am.” I shrug my shoulders. Actually, it’s the only way I feel at peace for a few moments before doubts creep in. I found years ago when I cook I forget about everything else. Every event, every trauma, every bad thing disappears when I’m in the kitchen doing what I love. That’s one thing
they’ve never been able to break.

  “Then let’s go. But Holly,” Stryker settles his gaze on me seeing right into my soul. “We will talk about what just happened. I don’t want you afraid of me.” He brings his big body into my personal space and his lips are inches from mine sending heat to my core. “I want you. Only you.”

  Stryker turns and opens the door with the flick of his wrist. Damn. I forgot I locked it last night. I internally face palm and follow him. His bedroom is off to the left of the living room. Some patch whores sleep on the couch. Their naked limbs are tangled together and I quickly avert my eyes from the position they’re in. Gross. I think I threw up a little in my mouth. I keep my eyes on Stryker’s muscular back in case I come across any other compromising positions.

  Once we reach the sanctuary of the kitchen, I breathe a sigh of relief, heading straight for the refrigerator. I grab eggs, bacon, sausage, green peppers and mushrooms setting them on the counter next to the stove. Stryker props his hip against the countertop watching me. His sapphire eyes track my every movement, hunger and lust radiating from their depths. A shiver rolls up my spine from the way he’s watching me.

  “Do you want to start the coffee?” I ask, my voice is husky, full of desire for this brooding man.

  “Sure,” Stryker turns his big body away from me and gets to work on starting the coffee. He grumbles about something I can’t quite hear.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask. I approach him from behind, trying to peek over his shoulder. My breath fans across his skin and goosebumps break out on his bare arm. Stryker lifts his arm, settling it around my shoulders like we do this all the time. This is the first time we’ve touched each other this much and I can’t help but feel pleased I’m finally giving in. I peek around him and stifle a giggle. He has everything torn apart making a mess. “Here, let me help. You just need to empty the filter and refill it. Then fill the pot with cold water and put it in the back. Haven’t you ever made coffee before?” I sneak a glance up at him and he’s smirking. Asshole. He knew what he was doing.