Rookie

by JL Paul

  “You’re exhausted,” Rob observed. “Climb in and sleep. I’ll be back as soon as I’m able.”

  “Thanks, Rob,” she said as she crawled under the covers, her head sinking into the airy pillows.

  “Not a problem, Rookie,” he said. He turned on the TV, handed her the remote, and then dropped a kiss onto her forehead. “Rest, okay? I’ll check on you when I get back.”

  She opened her mouth to thank him again but the restless night coupled with the medicine made her too woozy. Instead, she nestled deeper under the blankets and dozed, not noticing the pained, concerned look he shot her way.

  ***

  Twittering birds sang in the trees outside the window, prying Sidney from a deep sleep. Her eyes fluttered open as her ears became aware of the voices on the television, arguing results of a DNA test.

  The pain was quiet, subdued, making her believe for a moment that she was whole and not injured. But as she moved her head toward the television to get a look at the bickering couple, her broken wrist cried out in protest at being woken.

  “Damn,” she muttered, using her good wrist to push to a sitting position. Taking calm, deep breaths, she managed to quell the worst of the pain.

  The relief lasted briefly as she was suddenly aware how horrible her breath tasted. She could only imagine the wreck her hair was and wished desperately for a shower.

  Turning off the TV, she slipped out of bed, igniting the fire in her ribs. Sucking in a breath, she clutched her side with her good hand and closed her eyes, waiting for the first wave to pass. Once it did, she snatched the opportunity to walk downstairs before the pain could crash again.

  “Oh, you’re up,” Mrs. B said with a smile. She held up the tote bag in her hand. “I was just on my way to check on you. Lexie dropped your things off earlier.”

  “Thanks,” Sidney said. “I was just thinking that I’d love a shower.”

  “You can use Rob’s shower. It’s bigger.”

  Sidney nodded as she followed the housekeeper up the stairs, wondering if she was going to have to argue that she could do it herself. Mrs. B set the bag on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Sidney dug through the things that Lexie had brought, settling on a loose pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Peering into the side pocket of the tote, she located a cosmetic bag that contained toothbrush, paste, deodorant and other things.

  “Okay, the shower is going and I’ve set out a towel and washcloth,” Mrs. B said as she bustled back into the room. “I also have a plastic bag to wrap around your cast to keep it dry. Let me help you then you can shower. I’ll just putter around in here while you shower, in case you need me for anything.”

  Sidney was grateful that she wouldn’t have to fight for privacy. Once her cast was wrapped, she took her things into the bathroom and prepared for a shower.

  She took her time, scrubbing her hair one-handed, and exited twenty minutes later, struggling to wrap a towel around her body. Feeling much better despite the pain, she dressed awkwardly and ran a comb through her wet hair.

  When she emerged, she found Mrs. B fluffing the pillows.

  “Feel better?”

  “Much,” Sidney said. “Thanks.”

  “Good. Now, why don’t you hop back into bed and I’ll bring you something to eat and your medication?”

  The hot shower had taken some of the ache from her body but exhaustion still lingered. She couldn’t believe how tired she was or how an accident could drain the energy from her. Although she wanted to fight it and try to move about, she wanted to heal more. Reluctantly, she climbed back into the bed.

  “I guess I am still a little tired,” she admitted.

  “It’s to be expected,” Mrs. B said, tucking Sidney in as if she were a child. “Your body needs time to mend. Give it a little time and you’ll start to feel like yourself again.”

  Nodding, Sidney shifted, propping the pillows behind her. Mrs. B waited until she was settled before leaving the room. She returned a short time later with a tray bearing a turkey sandwich, a bowl of fruit, and a glass of milk. A tablet sat on a napkin next to the plate.

  “Eat as much as you can,” Mrs. B said. “Just set the tray aside when you’re done and I’ll get it later.”

  “Thank you,” Sidney said. “I really appreciate it.”

  “Oh, dear, it’s not a problem,” Mrs. B said. “Now eat and rest.”

  Sidney nibbled on the sandwich as she watched TV, but her mind was not on the talk show. The incident with Grant managed to stir up old memories in which Sidney had tried to bury: Grant pawing at her in his car in front of her dorm building – swearing at her because she wouldn’t ‘put out’; Tearing her favorite T-shirt while she tried to escape his latest attempts at getting her in bed. Those old memories led to images of Hugh, one of her foster parents, entering her bedroom. His ugly, leering face, horrid liquor breath, and meaty hands whirled in her mind, reminding her of the nights she’d curled up under her blankets, hoping that he wouldn’t do more than grope at her, kissing her neck and her face.

  Shaking her head, she tried to clear it. Those days were long gone. She was safe now. Hugh couldn’t touch her.

  But Grant could.

  Grant had put her in this latest predicament. She could only hope that the police would find him, soon. She didn’t want to live in fear. She’d come a long way and had worked hard. She wasn’t about to let all of that crumble because of Grant.

  She swallowed her tablet with a gulp of milk and set the tray on the bedside table. Picking up the remote with her good hand, she flipped through the channels until she found an old movie. Easing back into the pillows, she watched it as the medication took effect, making her eyelids heavy and her brain fuzzy.

  ***

  The nightmares returned again that night. Rob, wasting no time, lifted her from her bed as though she was nothing more than a rag doll, and carried her to his room. Once he settled her, he climbed in beside her, resting his head close to hers. Without saying a word, both of them closed their eyes and slept until morning.

  ***

  A routine developed after that first day. Rob would leave for work and Sidney would spend most of the day in his room, watching TV and growing more and more bored. At least in the evenings, she sat at the breakfast bar and shared a meal with Rob and Mrs. B. That was turning into the highlight of her day.

  The pain began to fade, although still making its presence known from time to time, and she cut back on her meds. Slowly, her energy began to return and restlessness set in. She pleaded with Rob to bring a laptop home so she could do some work but he refused.

  “Come on,” she wheedled. “I can sit in bed and do it.”

  “Rookie,” he sighed, setting his fork down and turning in his chair to face her. They’d been enjoying succulent spinach lasagna, Mrs. B’s specialty, when she’d unleashed her latest argument. “Wait until next week, huh? The doctor said to take it easy for a week.”

  Rolling her eyes, she stabbed at the rich food, spearing a noodle heaped with spinach and shoving it into her mouth. He could be as stubborn as she – there was no way he was going to budge.

  “Listen,” he said, shoving his plate away and lifting his glass of wine. “I spoke to the doctor today about your nightmares.”

  Her eyes grew as round as the plate in front of her as her fork clattered from her fingers. “Rob! It’s not a big deal. I’ll get over it.”

  He shook his head as he took her good hand. “The doctor seems to think that it would be best for you to talk to a counselor.”

  “A counselor?” she gasped. “Like a shrink?”

  He nodded. “Well, he said it’s a little more informal than that. He gave me the name of a woman, Aliza, who specializes in crimes against women.”

  Sidney dropped her eyes to her plate, cheeks flaming. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt, but I don’t think that I need it.”

  Rob produced a folded piece of paper from his pocket and slid it to her. “Just call her, Rookie. See what she has to
say. If you don’t want to talk to her, then you don’t have to.”

  She picked the paper up from the table and unfolded it, turning it over and over in her fingers. Sure, she’d call the woman and have a little chat. But she definitely wasn’t committing to weekly meetings or whatever else this lady had in mind. The nightmares were a pain but she figured she’d get over it eventually. She’d suffered bouts of nightmares before after traumatizing events. They always went away in due time.

  “I’ll call her later,” Sidney said, palming the phone number. “Promise.”

  “I hope you do,” Rob said with a sad smile.

  ***

  That evening, when Rob ran to the studio for a late meeting, Sidney sat on the bed of the guest room, door closed, and called the number Rob had given her.

  “This is Aliza.”

  “Hello,” Sidney said. “Um, my name is Sidney Roper. My friend, Rob, gave me this number. Doctor Lartie referred us to you…”

  “Oh, yes,” Aliza said. “Sidney, how are you? Dr. Lartie sent over your file. As I understand, you’re staying with your friend, Rob, right?”

  “Yes,” Sidney said, going straight into defense mode.

  “And how are you handling that?” Aliza asked. “Is he suffocating you with his helpfulness? Or is he driving you crazy with all his worry?”

  A relieved laugh escaped from her lips as a smile worked its way across her face. Relaxing, she scooted further up the bed, mindful of her still sore ribs. “A little of both, actually, but I know he means well.”

  “Oh, I’m sure he does. That’s what makes a good friend – someone who truly cares about your well-being.”

  Sidney nodded, tearing up a little. She hadn’t realized until that moment how much of a friend Rob had become. He’d stepped up when she needed him and opened, not only his home, but everything else up for her.

  “I know you probably are a little unsure about talking to someone,” Aliza continued. “Lots of people are – not just women. Let me tell you a little about myself first, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  “First of all, I’m not a doctor. I can’t prescribe medications, but if you feel as if you need something, I would consult with your doctor and he would evaluate you to see if something would be in order.”

  “No, I don’t think I need anything,” Sidney said. “I’m trying to wean myself off the pain medication now.”

  “Well, don’t suffer unnecessarily,” Aliza warned. “Yes, it’s not a good thing to rely heavily on medication, but the doctor wouldn’t have prescribed it if he didn’t feel like you needed it.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay,” Aliza said, an apparent smile in her voice. “I was raped when I was nineteen years old. It was devastating. Luckily for me, my parents were wonderful, supportive people. They checked into all sorts of help and finally took me to a counselor at a battered women’s shelter. She was marvelous and helped me to deal with what had happened and move forward. From that moment on, that’s what I wanted to do with my life. I’ve taken classes in psychology, philosophy, anatomy, criminal justice, to name a few. I’ve also studied criminal cases and attended seminars which focused on the criminal mind, particularly the minds of people who do violent things to women. I’ve worked with several counselors, psychiatrists, psychologists, and doctors until I felt like I had a good handle on what I wanted to do. Then, I began raising money and procuring grants until I was able to open The Women’s Center. The Center is a non-profit that helps women deal with many issues – rape, violent crimes, domestic abuse to name a few. I meet with people one on one or in group sessions. Sometimes, if the woman isn’t comfortable, we talk on the phone.”

  “Wow,” was all Sidney was able to mutter.

  “I’m not telling you all of this to impress you or to pat my own back,” Aliza continued. “I just want you to know what I’m about and what I do. And if ever there is a case that I feel is too much for me, I have no problem referring them to a ‘professional.’ I am happy to say that my need to help others is much greater than my ego.”

  Sidney laughed. “I appreciate you telling me all of this.”

  “Well, I like to be upfront,” Aliza said. “Now, you’ve taken the first step by calling me. If you’d like to continue talking, we can do so. We can set up a time for you to come to the Center where we can meet privately or we can talk on the phone. Also, if it’s better for you, I could come to your place … or the place you are staying. But that’s only if you decide that you’d like to continue. If not, you won’t hurt my feelings, I promise. I know some women prefer – and are capable – of dealing with things on their own.”

  Sidney bit her lip, feeling as if a huge wave was threatening to flood her insides. Although she’d always considered herself one of those women who were capable of dealing with things on her own, maybe it was time to let someone else help shoulder the burden.

  “I’d like to talk again,” Sidney said.

  “Okay,” Aliza said. “Let me look at my book and we’ll set something up.”

  Ten minutes later, Sidney hung up the phone, feeling as if she had truly taken the first step.

  Twelve

  Halfway through her second week at Rob’s, Sidney’s pain diminished to a manageable level. She was able to skip pain medication and function almost normally with minimal discomfort. The nightmares, however, remained. Even though she’d had several phone sessions with Aliza, the nightmares showed no signs of leaving. It frustrated her as it seemed that the only good sleep she was able to get was when she slept with Rob. Not only did it deepen the feelings she had for him, but it also created an awkward sort of tension. They did their best to ignore it – trying to keep hold of the easy friendship that had developed between them.

  They settled into a routine: Rob going into the office in the morning, often returning for lunch. When he would come home in the evenings, they would eat dinner together, watch a little TV or sit out on the deck and then retire to bed. They only thing marring the idyllic setting, other than the nightmares, was Rob’s frequent phone conversations with someone (Sidney was pretty sure it was Melanie) in which Rob would disappear into his study, emerging after a half an hour or so.

  Sidney had to remind herself that he was only helping her out of friendship – that he still had feelings for his ex-wife. She had to keep it in her head that he had no romantic feelings for her at all.

  She would take what she could get, though, and worry about love later, when her life was back to normal. She would have to bury her feelings for Rob deep inside her heart and forget about them. It was all she could do.

  Her first venture outside of the house after the accident was to a follow-up appointment with the doctor. Rob was unable to take her as a situation with a newly signed band popped up, leaving Mrs. B with the honors.

  When they returned to the house, Sidney’s excitement was overflowing. The doctor had cleared her to return to the studio the following Monday and Sidney was chomping at the bit to get back to work.

  “How’d the doctor visit go?” Rob asked when he strolled through the kitchen that evening.

  “I get to go back to work Monday,” she said, smile so bright on her face that it was blinding.

  “Really?” he asked, concern etched in the fine lines of his face. “So soon?”

  “Yes,” she said as her lips twitched. “Why?”

  “I just… well, are you ready?”

  “Of course,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I can’t wait to get back to work. I’m dying of boredom!”

  He pinched the bridge of his nose before running a weary hand over his face. Releasing a breath, he smiled. “All right. I can’t say that we don’t need you, that’s for sure.”

  “Good,” she said, peppiness returning. “I’ll have to run to my place for appropriate clothing. I can’t wear sweats to the office.”

  “I’ll take you,” he said. “You don’t need to go there alone.”

  “Have the police not heard anything
about Grant?” she asked. “No leads?”

  “Nope,” Rob said. “Nothing on his credit cards. The only thing they found, financially, is that he drained his savings account before he came out here. He had a substantial amount, too. Plus, he could be working for cash at any of the second rate construction companies around here. Or, he could have high-tailed it back to Indiana.”

  Sidney frowned. She was never going to be able to move about freely and on her own until she knew for sure that Grant was locked up somewhere. Once again, he was trying to control her life. Only this time, he was succeeding.

  “Don’t worry about it,” Rob said, gripping her shoulder. “They’ll get him. In the meantime, you can stay here. It’s not a problem.”

  “Not a problem at all,” Mrs. B said as she carried a salad to the breakfast bar. “I love having you around.”

  “Thanks,” Sidney said, touched. She glanced at Rob who shot her a wink. “Well, I do appreciate it. And hopefully, they’ll catch him soon.”

  That evening, after dinner, they sat on the deck, watching the sun light the sky on fire with brilliant color. Sidney didn’t think she’d ever tire of seeing the sun set over the water. It was a most spectacular sight.

  “How are things going with Aliza?” Rob asked as he sipped a beer.

  “Okay,” Sidney said, relaxing on the chair next to him. She fiddled with the cap to her water bottle as she summoned the words she knew would break the peace. “I’d like to start meeting with her face to face at the Center.”

  “Are you sure about that, Rookie?” he asked, scooting forward in his chair. “I thought she would come here to meet you.”

  “She will,” Sidney said. “But I’d like to go to the Center. There are several resources there plus other people.”

  “I’ll have to take you,” he said, leaning back, deep in thought. “Or I bet Chad would. Even Paulie or Bruno.”

  “I do have to venture out on my own sometime,” she said.

  “I’d prefer that you didn’t do it until Grant is behind bars.”

  Groaning, she twisted to face him. “I know you’re concerned. I get that. I appreciate it. And I’m touched. But Grant is controlling my life right now – making it hard for me to live normally. I need to take my life back.”