Rookie

by JL Paul

  “Thank you,” Sidney said. “Thank you so much.”

  Sidney had just drained her glass when Lexie returned. “It’s just about ready. You can get your things and hop in until it’s totally filled.”

  “Okay,” Sidney said. Grabbing the bag at her feet, she left the kitchen and headed to the bathroom. When she stepped inside, she realized that her cell phone was on the floor in the bathroom at the cottage. She really needed to call Leslie and her uncle to let them know what happened.

  She walked down the hall, toward the kitchen, but stopped when she heard Rob’s name mentioned.

  “You get ahold of Rob?” Paulie asked.

  “No. I tried but I don’t think he’s getting service out there,” Chad said.

  “Is there any way to get in touch with him?” Tracy asked. “I’m sure he’d want to know what’s going on.”

  “He called me a few days ago when they were at a port,” Chad said. “He’ll call again at the next port to check in.”

  “He’ll be on the next flight back once you tell him what happened,” Bruno said.

  “You think so?” Lexie asked. “Yeah, you’re probably right.”

  “I’m surprised he went in the first place,” Tracy mused.

  “Really?” Lexie asked. “I thought he wanted to go.”

  Tracy laughed and after a moment, a few male chuckles joined in.

  “What?” Lexie asked. “Do you guys know something I don’t know?”

  “I think we know something that Rob doesn’t even know,” Bruno laughed.

  “What?” Lexie asked, curiosity high in her voice.

  “Lex,” Tracy said. “I know Melanie is your best friend. And I know Rob probably loves her. But he’s not in love with her.”

  “So,” Lexie said slowly. “You think he’s in love with Sidney?”

  No one said a word. Sidney could only assume they nodded or shook their heads.

  “Lex, even I’ve suspected it,” Chad said. “I just kept my mouth shut because it’s not my business.”

  “But, why go then?”

  “Probably so he wouldn’t hurt her feelings,” Tracy said. “Rob’s like that.”

  “Well, he should tell them both,” Lexie said in an indignant tone. “He needs to let Melanie know the truth. And Sidney…hey, wait a minute.”

  Sidney held her breath, pressing her body against the wall. She knew it was so wrong to be listening, but she couldn’t tear herself away.

  “This explains a lot,” Lexie said.

  “Yes, it does,” Chad agreed.

  “Explains what?” Tracy asked. “This argument or whatever it is between the bunch of you?”

  “Yes,” Lexie said, distracted. “I need to talk to Sidney.”

  Sidney hurried to the bathroom and quietly shut the door. She shed her clothes and slipped into the warm water. She shut the shower door and leaned into the bubbles, closing her eyes.

  A knock sounded.

  “Can I come in?” Lexie asked.

  “Sure,” Sidney answered.

  Lexie came in and sat on the toilet. “Sid, can I ask you something?”

  “Yes,” Sidney said, bracing for the question she knew was coming.

  “Are you in love with Rob?”

  “It’s complicated, Lex,” Sidney sighed.

  “Just tell me.”

  Scooping up some bubbles, Sidney blew at them, watching them float in the air. “Yes, okay? I tried not to be but I couldn’t stop it.”

  “Well, you can’t help who you love,” Lexie said. “I know this is a stupid question, but you’re not the type of person to just sleep with someone. So, why did you do it?”

  Taking a deep breath, Sidney explained about her session with Aliza that day and what had happened in the past. She tried to tell Lexie how she hadn’t meant to ask Rob, but somehow it hadn’t come out right.

  “I didn’t want to hurt Melanie,” Sidney pleaded. “I didn’t want to hurt you or Rob or anyone. It just sort of happened.”

  “I get it, I guess,” Lexie said. “And I’m really sorry I over-reacted. If I would have just listened to you, maybe none of this would have happened.”

  “It probably would have just happened somewhere else,” Sidney said. “Grant was determined to find me.”

  “I’ve missed you,” Lexie said. “I’ve wanted to call but then I’d think that if I did, I would be betraying Melanie. But Chad kept telling me that Melanie and Rob weren’t even together. That Melanie kept stringing Rob along, telling him she wanted to reconcile but then disappearing any chance she got. She finally told me that she’d dated a guy in San Francisco on and off while trying to decide who she wanted to be with. She was hoping this cruise would help her make up her mind.”

  “Does Rob know about this guy?” Sidney asked, suddenly outraged.

  “She promised me that she was going to tell him on the cruise,” Lexie said. “If she doesn’t, then I’m going to tell him.”

  Sidney sat quietly, afraid to say what was on her mind.

  But Lexie said it for her. “He said he was going to tell her about…well, about you and him.”

  “He should,” Sidney whispered. “He should be honest with her.”

  “Sid, relax so you can feel better and get some sleep,” Lexie said. Through the distorted glass of the shower doors, Sidney could see Lexie’s form rise from the toilet and head toward the door. “We can talk more when you’re feeling better.”

  “Okay. Thanks.”

  Once Lexie left, Sidney sank into the bubbles, erasing everything from her mind.

  She was on the right track again. It would all sort out, somehow, in the end.

  Twenty – One

  The next few days were quiet. Sidney spent most of her time in the guest room, sitting in the window seat, watching the world pass. She’d spent most of the day after the attack in the police station, going over her statement, ensuring that Grant was finally put away where he belonged. After that, she took the police report to Leslie’s uncle’s house so he could turn it in to his insurance company and have the damage repaired.

  Once all the busywork was finished, she shut herself off from the world in order to weed through all the emotions raging inside her body.

  She’d settled her issues with Lexie, for the most part, but still hadn’t settled the issues with herself. She wanted to sort through her feelings and the things that had happened since her parents died in that fiery car wreck years and years ago.

  Lexie was worried, though. She stayed home with Sidney while Chad went into the office, and checked in on her several times a day. Sidney assured her that she was all right, just needed a little time to herself.

  Four days after the attack, Sidney stared at her reflection in the mirror. The bruise on the side of her face had shrunk slightly but was still ugly shades of purple, yellow, and black. The cuts were healing and fading. Soon, all signs of Grant would be gone.

  With a sigh, she left the bathroom and wandered back to the bedroom. Sitting in the window, she stared outside, wondering what was happening with Rob and Melanie. Would they work out their differences? Or was what everyone said the other night true?

  Either way, Sidney needed to fix things with Rob. She hated not having him in her life. If he did reconcile with Melanie, Sidney would just have to suck up her feelings and learn to live with them. She wouldn’t put him through anything like this again.

  Drawing her knee up, she rested her unbruised cheek on it. Outside, the sky was a miraculous shade of blue without a single cloud to mar it. She couldn’t see the ocean from her spot but the beach spread out in front of her, teeming with life. Gulls strutted through the sand, looking for tasty snacks left behind. In the distance, she spotted a family of three lugging a cooler and beach bag toward the refreshing water.

  Lost in thought, she didn’t hear the light tap on the door or the squeak as it opened.

  “What kind of trouble are you in now, Rookie?”

  Snapping her head, she saw Rob lea
ning in the doorway, arms folded across his chest, smirk playing on his lips. The smirk faded when he saw her bruised face.

  “Rob,” she whispered. Before she could stop, her legs raced to him, her arms wrapping around his waist.

  “Hey, shh,” he said as she cried into his chest. He held her until she regained control and then eased her back to study her face. “That bastard hit you, huh?”

  She nodded as his grip on her arms tightened.

  “Well, he won’t touch you again. I promise you that.”

  “I know,” she said, voice hoarse. “Um, aren’t you back early?”

  “Yeah,” he said, releasing her to run his fingers through his hair. He sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him. When she sat, he took her hand. “I left at a port after I talked to Chad. It wasn’t… well, we can talk about that later. We really need to talk about other things,, Rookie.”

  “I know,” she said, heart sinking. He was going to tell her that he and Melanie were back together. Stiffening her spine, she prepared for the words. Before he could speak, her mouth opened and words spilled. “I’m so sorry, Rob. I shouldn’t have told Lexie. I should have kept my promise and kept my mouth shut.”

  “Hush,” he said with a slight smile, pressing a finger to her lips. “You don’t need to apologize. I should.”

  “Why should you?” she asked.

  Rising from the bed, he crossed the room to stare out the window. His shoulders slumped as he turned to look at her, arms folded again.

  “I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that,” he started. “I know that you thought it would help you, but I don’t think you were really ready for that.”

  “You didn’t,” she said but he shook his head.

  “Sid, it was your first time. Your first time after a string of bad experiences,” he said as shame covered his face. He sighed. “I don’t know, I just don’t think that I should have done it.”

  Her heart shattered. She’d always wondered if he regretted it and now she knew. But she’d let him say what he needed to say. She’d let him clear his conscience so he could start his new life. She loved him enough for that.

  “It was your first time,” he said. “And I didn’t even talk to you about it afterward. I didn’t know how to handle it, you see, but that was no excuse. Instead, I let you handle it yourself. And I’m sorry.”

  Biting her lip, she nodded. “I still shouldn’t have told Lexie.”

  Rob shrugged. “I get it, though. I mean, I know you have a counselor, but I get that sometimes it’s not the same thing as talking to a friend.”

  They stared at each other from across the room, neither saying anything, nor asking the questions that needed to be asked. Electricity crackled above them like an electrical storm.

  Finally, Sidney broke the silence.

  “So, you came back early,” she said. “Um, is everything all right?”

  “No,” Rob said with a sardonic laugh. “Not really, but it will be. Time, you know, I guess it heals all wounds.”

  Confused, Sidney’s brow furrowed as she watched Rob pace the room. His hands ran through his hair, mussing it. She longed to wrap her arms around him, offer some sort of comfort, but she wasn’t sure that it would be welcomed. She just had to wait and watch his signs.

  “I went on that cruise for all the wrong reasons,” he said, exhaling a heavy breath. “I guess I felt it was the least that I owed her.”

  “Owed her?”

  “Yeah,” he said, sinking to the edge of the window seat. “I told you about our marriage and what a fiasco it became.”

  “Yes, but you were both so young,” Sidney said.

  Rob shook his head. “That’s not all, though. I didn’t treat her well, Sid. I left her alone all the time, intent only on making my music career a success. Never did I even think that I was ruining my marriage. Never even thought about what I was putting Mel through. I just told myself that all the hard times would be worth it once I made it big.”

  He tried a smile but failed. “The entire time, Melanie was sitting at home, wondering what I was doing. She’d given up her college opportunities because she’d had so much faith in me. She always believed that I would be a big star and that life would be good.”

  Not sure what to say, Sidney remained quiet. She’d let him talk; let him get it all off his chest.

  Clasping his hands between his knees, he studied the floor. “When she left, I just thought it wasn’t meant to be. I focused on my music and nothing else. Sure, I’d screw around here or there, but I never let myself become involved with anyone else. I wanted to prove to her that I was going to make it, you know? I wanted to show her that it wasn’t all for nothing.”

  “So,” he sighed. “Once my career got off the ground, I called her. She was working in a retail shop while going to school. She’d just about obtained her degree and was about to enter the fashion world. She was happy to hear that I’d made it, but she wanted her turn. She didn’t want to be tied down to a husband whose first love was music.”

  Sidney nodded, afraid to speak and stop him.

  “You know how it went. Years rolled by and we’d keep in contact; hook up for a weekend here or there. It wasn’t until earlier this year that she decided she wanted to try again. At first, I was all for it. But something happened this spring that made me think twice.”

  She didn’t ask. She wanted to know, but didn’t ask. He’d tell her in time. At least she hoped. But he was on a roll and she didn’t want to interrupt.

  “I wasn’t sure what to do about it. I decided to just roll with things and see what happened. I dated Melanie, for lack of a better word, and sometimes, it seemed like old times. But other times, it seemed like an effort. I didn’t want it to feel like that.”

  He stood to pace again. Her heart went out to him.

  “When you and I argued and stopped speaking, I spent more time with Mel, thinking that would stop the hurt. It didn’t work, though. I missed you.”

  He smiled at her before turning away.

  “I went on this cruise, not as a last ditch effort, but as closure, I guess. I wanted to talk to Melanie and find out how she really felt. That’s when she told me about the guy she’d been seeing in San Francisco. I was relieved. I couldn’t believe how relieved I was. Once she admitted it, then I told her about us – about what happened.”

  “Oh,” Sidney muttered.

  He turned to smile at her. “Yeah. She was hurt, of course, but she understood why it happened, and, particularly, that her and I weren’t even together at the time. That’s when we really began to talk.”

  “And?” Sidney whispered.

  “We sorted through our feelings and realized that, although we’ll probably always love each other, that we’re not in love anymore. That all these efforts were more for nostalgic reasons than anything else.”

  Sidney shook her head, confusion clouding her brain. “What do you mean?”

  He sat beside her on the bed. “It means that me and Melanie don’t work that way anymore. Maybe we never did. But we both know it now and we’re both free to move on – get on with our lives.”

  “Meaning?” she asked, tamping down the hope rising in her heart.

  He took her hand and kissed her cheek. “Meaning let’s get out of here. Your room is waiting at my house and Mrs. B would love to fuss over you again.”

  ***

  Mrs. B truly was waiting to fuss over her. As soon as she walked through the door, Mrs. B pounced, tsking at the cuts and bruises on her face.

  “And you’re too thin,” Mrs. B frowned. “You need a good meal and a good night’s sleep.”

  Rob shot Sidney a wink before carrying her bag up to the guest room.

  Mrs. B wrapped an arm around Sidney’s shoulder and guided her into the kitchen. “Everything is going to be all right now. Just you watch.”

  That night, after dinner, Sidney followed Rob out to the deck. Her heart twittered, not sure which way to go. It seemed as if everyth
ing was slipping back into place, but questions still blazed her mind, begging to be asked.

  They settled into their usual chairs and watched the sun color the sky in brilliant rays of gold, amber, and dusty red before bowing out for the night.

  “How you feeling, Rookie?” he asked.

  “Good,” she said as she sipped from her water bottle. “How about you? All this stuff with Melanie, it has to hurt.”

  “Actually, it doesn’t. Not really. I mean, I sort of feel free now. Something loosened in my chest.”

  “I’m glad to hear that,” Sidney said.

  He got up from his chair to perch on the edge of her chaise. “We still need to discuss some things, Sid. I don’t want to overwhelm you…”

  “You won’t,” she said. “I agree, we do need to talk.”

  He smiled as he patted her leg. “I don’t know how to say this. It’s never been this hard.”

  She nibbled on her lip as he dropped his head, taking deep breaths.

  “It looks like things are on the right track with us and I don’t want to screw it up again, but I think there are things that need to be said.”

  “I agree.”

  He lifted his head to smile. “Even before…that night…there was something between us. Well, at least I felt it. I don’t know if you did.”

  “I did,” she whispered.

  His smile grew. “I thought so. I…oh, hell.”

  He stood and paced the length of the deck. She watched, helpless. He stopped before her and offered a hand. She took it and he helped her to her feet. Carefully cupping her face, he sighed.

  “I hurt you, Sid. I said some awful things – especially about you and the Mystic Dash guys and I’m sorry.”

  “I know,” she said. “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not,” he said. “As soon as I said it, I regretted it. I never wanted to hurt you.”

  “Then why did you say it?” she asked. “Why did you say something so horrible to me? You know my past and you knew that I would never sleep with one of them.”

  “I was jealous, Sid,” he said, dropping her face and turning away. “I was so damn jealous.”

  “Jealous? Of what?”

  He dropped his head. “They’re great guys. And they’re closer to your age than I am. I watched the five of you in the rehearsal room that day and you seemed to click with them. I couldn’t stand it. And then, at the party, they flocked to you and took care of you when you were…”