Love Inspired January 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: Bayou SweetheartThe Firefighter's New FamilySeason of Redemption

by Lenora Worth

  “Where do you usually go?”

  “St. Mary’s.”

  “Ah. I guess this would seem less formal in comparison.”

  Kellie snorted. “It’s definitely different. But nice.”

  “Morning, Ryan.” His mother’s eyes gleamed with interest. “Who’s this?”

  Ryan took a deep breath. He wasn’t seeing Kellie. Although getting to know her on a more personal level appealed, their relationship wasn’t anything like that. Nor could it be. “Mom, this is Kellie Cavanaugh. I believe you spoke to her on the phone regarding my assessment.”

  Kellie held out her hand. “Mrs. Marsh. So nice to meet you in person.”

  “It’s Rose, remember? And you’re much younger than I pictured. Prettier, too.” His mother tipped her head.

  Ryan knew that look. He could only imagine the ideas rolling around inside her brain.

  Kellie’s cheeks grew pink. “Thanks.”

  “How’s he doing?” His mom wrapped her arm around his waist.

  Kellie glanced at him with wide eyes.

  He shrugged. “It’s okay. She’s my mom. You can tell her anything.”

  “I’m not his counselor, Mrs. Marsh. But even if I were, I’m not at liberty to discuss it. Privacy policy and all that.” Kellie looked worried, like she might offend.

  Ryan almost laughed. Kellie didn’t know his mom. Rose Marsh didn’t offend easily, but she’d let a person know real quick when she was.

  His mom gave him a squeeze and smiled. “Well, you must be doing something right since he’s here, in church.”

  Ryan rolled his eyes.

  “Not really my idea,” Kellie said.

  His mom only grinned wider. “Even better. Ryan, why don’t you come out to the farm for dinner tonight? You should see what Adam and Eva are doing to the space above the garage. They’re working like dogs.”

  “Thanks, Mom, but—”

  His mother leaned toward Kellie as if he hadn’t spoken. “My daughter, Eva, and her fiancé are renovating our farmhouse to become a bed-and-breakfast. They hope to open in the spring. In fact, we’d love it if you’d come, too.”

  “Oh, thank you, but I’ve made other plans.” Kellie smiled.

  His mom looked from him to Kellie and then back to him in wonder.

  “I’ll be there, Mom.” Ryan didn’t want his mother to think he was Kellie’s plan for later. He gave his mom a pointed look to get lost.

  “Some other time then.”

  “Maybe.” Kellie looked uncomfortable.

  At least she hadn’t used the conflict of ethics excuse. His mom might have blown that one to bits. Ryan almost wished she had. But as he watched his mother scoot away to visit with others, he made a mental note to explain things to her. As an intern, Kellie didn’t need his mother stirring up trouble by pairing them up.

  He felt a strong hand on his shoulder and knew he had one more parent to introduce. “Morning, Dad.”

  His father was already reaching his hand toward Kellie. “Miss?”

  She took it with a smile. “Kellie, sir.”

  Ryan spotted Dorrie slipping back into the pew and motioned for her to come closer. He didn’t want his parents to get the wrong idea about him being here with Kellie. “And do you know Kellie’s sister-in-law, Dorrie?”

  “We’ve met, yes. Morning, Dorrie.” His father shook her hand.

  “Bob.” Dorrie smiled.

  Ryan gestured toward the front of the church. “Sinclair’s going to start.”

  His father gave him a nod but looked from Dorrie to Kellie with a puzzled expression before heading for his seat.

  “Your parents are nice,” Kellie whispered.

  “They mean well.”

  “They love you to pieces.”

  Before he could ask why she’d said that, Sinclair took the podium and the congregation grew silent. After a short list of announcements, he asked everyone to take the hand of the one next to them and bow their heads for prayer.

  Ryan hesitated, but Kellie grabbed his hand. Soft. Her skin felt soft and her hand small in his. He absently ran his thumb along the back of her hand. Yup, soft there, too.

  His brother ended the prayer, but Ryan didn’t want to let go of Kellie’s hand. He had to of course, and glanced her way as she sat down. She looked pretty in a rust-colored sweater and corduroy pants that hugged her narrow hips. She gripped her hands in her lap, making Ryan wonder if maybe Kellie hadn’t wanted to let go of him either.

  By the time Sinclair had finished his sermon about love, Ryan was blown away by the change in his brother. Changes he’d never taken the time to recognize since Sinclair had come home. So reckless in his youth, it was amazing how Sinclair had spoken from the pulpit with real maturity. And God’s anointing, too. Ryan had never before believed in his brother’s calling to preach. He still wouldn’t have believed it had he not heard with his own ears.

  He looked at Kellie. “What’d you think?”

  If the dewiness in her eyes was any indication, she’d been touched by his brother’s message, too. “It was good.”

  Ryan nodded. “Yeah, it was. Come on, I’ll introduce you to him and then we can ask about rounding up volunteers.”

  Waiting for the center aisle to clear, Ryan thought about one of the passages that Sinclair had read during his message.

  Romans 13:8—Pay all your debts except the debt of love for others—never finish paying that.

  He’d stopped paying for a while. So wrapped up in his own grief, he sort of forgot about everyone else. Ryan stepped aside to let Kellie pass.

  “Are you staying for the potluck?” Dorrie asked.

  He shook his head. “Not today.”

  “I think I will,” Kellie said.

  “Great, see you downstairs.” Dorrie smiled and headed for the lower level of church where dinner would be shared.

  Ryan steered Kellie toward the front of the church where others swarmed around his brother. He couldn’t handle a full-blown fellowship dinner in his brother’s church filled with warmth and love and both sets of parents. Especially with Kellie sitting next to him. It’d feel too familiar, and too much like the past he’d shared with Sara.

  Besides, he could only concentrate on paying one debt of love at a time. Right now, that debt was helping Dorrie get her house done in time for Christmas. But with each step toward the altar, Ryan’s gut twisted. He missed the way his life had been.

  Sick of the emptiness, Ryan silently prayed to the only one who could make it different. Make him different. Help me come back, Lord. Bring me back.

  * * *

  Kellie watched the brothers after introductions were made. They were so different and yet so much alike. Ryan was taller and much broader, too, but there was no mistaking Sinclair as the oldest. Something about the tone in his voice made her think that Sinclair had been looking out for Ryan his whole life.

  Despite what Mrs. Marsh had said on the phone that day about her oldest son being the one who’d always tumbled into trouble growing up, Kellie knew a leader when she saw one. They’d come to the right place for help.

  Sinclair fingered the paper with Dorrie’s construction site address, looking thoughtful. “Yeah, we can get some volunteers for Dorrie. When?”

  “This week, and every week until it’s done. The only day there’s no work is on Sundays. But she needs to move in before Christmas. So that may change as we get closer,” Ryan said.

  Sinclair looked surprised. “That’s right around the corner.”

  Kellie spoke up. “The new owners of her rental want to move the mobile home off the property before the snow is too deep. She has no choice.”

  Sinclair shook his head. “I had no idea.”

  “That’s Dorrie for you. She tries to figure ev
erything out by herself. I only found out by accident.” Kellie shifted her purse strap higher up on her shoulder.

  “Thanks for coming to me. We’ll do what we can. Hope and I can help, too. Not that we’re pros, but we’ve been making some updates to our house.”

  Ryan looked a little sheepish when he asked, “How’s that going?”

  Sinclair smiled. “Pretty good. I convinced Hope to wait on painting the outside until spring. But we’ve been fixing up the inside a little here and there.”

  Ryan shifted from foot to foot. “How’s her mom and dad?”

  Kellie again sensed the tension in Ryan. Like a coiled spring, that hero complex of his kept the guilt firmly in place over his fiancée’s death. Facing her parents must be agony.

  “They’re doing great. Why don’t you stay for dinner and see for yourself. They’d love to talk with you.”

  Ryan’s brief expression of pain was quickly shuttered and covered up. “Not today. I’ve got stuff to do.”

  Sinclair glanced at her with a question in his eyes. Did he think she was the stuff Ryan mentioned?

  “I’m staying,” Kellie said. The only plan she’d made for the day was taking a quick nap before settling into studying her intern book on teen dynamics for group. She hadn’t fibbed to Rose Marsh when she said she had plans later. “I’ve got to try Mrs. Larson’s lasagna.”

  Sinclair laughed then. “Actually, you won’t be disappointed. Come on, you can sit with me and Hope and fill us in on what Dorrie needs.”

  Kellie looked at Ryan. “I’ll see you tomorrow night at the site.”

  “See you later, Kellie.” He nodded, but his eyes looked heavy with memories and sadness.

  She followed Sinclair toward a side stairway and glanced back as Ryan made his way out of the church doors.

  “How’s he doing?” Sinclair asked.

  “I’m not his counselor, but...” Kellie chewed her bottom lip. Ministers understood privacy and anonymity. She could tell him a little bit, right? “Actually, he’s giving group therapy an honest effort.”

  Sinclair stopped before the stairs. “He talks to you, doesn’t he?”

  Kellie thought about how Ryan had asked her for coffee and she’d shut him down because of ethical concerns. Namely an unbridled attraction to the man. “Yeah. A little.”

  “That’s good.” Sinclair’s eyes softened when he spotted his wife, and he reached out his hand to her. “Hope and I pray for him daily.”

  Hope smiled at Kellie with a determined gleam in her eye. “You might be exactly what he needs.”

  Whoa! Kellie panicked, but warmth spread through her at the mention of being needed. She cleared her throat. “We’re working together to get Dorrie’s house completed. That’s all. I give him insight into group because I’m an intern there and I facilitate a teen group, but I can’t counsel him.”

  “Of course not.” Sinclair looked like he understood.

  Hope nodded, but the satisfied look in her eyes proved she hadn’t meant providing Ryan with professional help. “So, Kellie, tell me about yourself.”

  Could the woman be more obvious? Kellie didn’t blame Hope for being protective of Ryan. She was his family. And Ryan had a great support system in his family. All he had to do was let them in to help him. But sitting with Hope meant an interview of a totally personal kind. Kellie found she didn’t mind a bit. There was something engaging about Hope. Something genuine, too.

  “I’m interning for my master’s in school counseling,” Kellie answered.

  Hope’s eyes shone. “Awesome. My degree is in early childhood education. What age group do you want?”

  “Middle school, hopefully.” Kellie wanted to get in at the age where a kid could be deterred from the wrong path if needed. High school was tougher and might be too late. Although it hadn’t been for her, it had for her brother, Karl. He’d already been lost to drugs by then.

  They entered the lower level that was jam-packed with people and the wonderful smell of home cooking. Kellie’s mouth watered.

  Dorrie waved from the line forming near tables laden with delicious-looking food. She herded her girls forward.

  Kellie waved back. She’d never been to a church potluck before. The church she’d grown up in had spaghetti dinners on occasion, and Friday night fish fries, but those had been put on by the church for its members. It wasn’t all this sharing of dishes made by parishioners.

  “So tell me,” Sinclair started. “How much needs to be done at Dorrie’s?”

  Kellie shrugged. “Walls, flooring, cabinets and finishing work, but Ryan could explain it better. He’s sort of in charge.”

  Hope cocked her head and then shared a look with her husband. “Really?”

  “What?” Kellie wasn’t sure of the significance.

  Sinclair explained. “That’s the real Ryan. He’d help anyone, anytime, anywhere. My mom said that he’d kept to himself after the accident. He’d spent a lot of time helping in my parents’ orchard, and then when they sold that, he bought a broken-down cottage on the lake that he’s been remodeling. Too much alone time to think.”

  Kellie understood being alone. Sometimes she felt safer that way, and other times it was like being adrift. What if Ryan didn’t want to be alone? Looking around the room, Kellie took in what he’d probably grown up with—love and support. Had he attended dozens of these potlucks with his fiancée?

  She spotted Ryan’s parents laughing with another couple. They were nice people. Sinclair and his wife were, too. A nice family that appeared to be tight and caring. And yet, Ryan had drifted away from them all.

  She remembered the poem Rose Marsh had referenced when they spoke on the phone. Kellie had looked it up online and printed it out. Fascinated, she’d studied it, but could only remember the first few lines. So simple and fierce.

  I fled Him down the nights and down the days

  I fled Him down the arches of the years

  I fled Him down the labyrinthine ways of my own mind, and

  In the mist of tears

  I hid from Him...

  And appropriate. Kellie believed Ryan had fled his feelings and the Marsh family had given him space to do so. He was an adult after all, but a desperately hurting one. One with too much time to spend running down the labyrinth of his own mind. Like Ryan’s brother had pointed out, Ryan had too much time to think and that had led to alcohol.

  A shiver of disquiet shot down her spine. Kellie liked this church and its people, but was she getting sucked into something she might not be able to control? Coming here was about Dorrie and the girls. Getting them settled into their house before the holidays had to be her primary concern. But the more she knew about Ryan, the more she saw shades of herself.

  Pain was pain, no matter where it came from. Kellie had come to terms with hers because of an astute counselor. She knew how to deal with her feelings. Okay, maybe avoidance of getting close to people wasn’t the healthiest way to do it, but for Kellie, it worked.

  Would Ryan come to terms with his? Kellie wanted to be part of his support system, but she shouldn’t get too close. And not only for ethical reasons of where she interned.

  Ryan had the kind of family she’d always wished for. Another draw toward the man. Kellie couldn’t risk the heartache of rejection by getting romantically involved only to be eventually kicked aside once Ryan got to know her. Deep down, Kellie feared she wasn’t loveable. She was high-strung and needy. A mess. What guy wanted that?

  None that she’d known, and she wasn’t going back to that place, ever again.

  Chapter Six

  The next day, Kellie stared at the computer screen in her office at LightHouse Center. It was almost quitting time, but moments ago she’d received a call for a second interview with the school in Traverse City. Things were definitely g
oing as planned, and yet she teetered close to the edge of something scary.

  A quick knock at her half-closed door brought her head up.

  Ginny stood in the doorway. “Kellie, you okay?”

  “The school called me for a second interview.”

  “That’s wonderful.” Ginny’s smile died as she took a seat. “Why the long face?”

  Kellie shrugged. It didn’t feel right not to say anything about her friendship with Ryan, but could she risk telling Ginny? “Nerves, I guess.”

  Ginny’s gaze narrowed. “You put too much pressure on yourself. When’s the interview?”

  “This Thursday at one.” She’d have to leave the outpatient office early. “But I’ll be back for teen group.”

  “Good. Did you let John know?”

  “Not yet, but I will.”

  Ginny patted her hand as she stood. “Good for you, Kellie. You’ve worked hard for this and I hope you get the job.”

  “Thanks. I do, too.”

  Once Ginny left, Kellie inwardly cringed. She had worked hard. Too hard to be more excited about seeing Ryan later at Dorrie’s than about her interview. Something was definitely out of whack.

  Technically, she saw Ryan in a community setting. Her sister-in-law’s house was the product of a nonprofit group. Kellie couldn’t escape that, nor did she want to. Still, attending church with Ryan had really pushed the line. And Kellie wanted to return to that church where Ryan’s brother pastored. She liked the way Sinclair delivered his message. She liked Hope, too. They’d invited her back.

  Kellie got up from her desk and marched her way down the hall toward her boss’s office. With a quick tap on John’s open door, she stepped in and breathed deep the fresh air. Due to the unseasonal warmth today, John had his windows open.

  “I got called back for a second interview.”

  Her boss looked over the rim of his glasses. “That’s good news.”

  His lack of surprise made her wonder if he already knew. After all, the superintendent was his friend and neighbor. “Thanks for getting me in the door. I wouldn’t have this opportunity without your recommendation.”