Hell Hath No Fury

by M. J. Schiller

  “Ye-es,” Alex answered.

  It physically pained me to leave them. “But…will I see you again?”

  They looked at each other and shrugged. Chris responded, “You can never tell about these things.” At the same time, Alex bobbed her head with a huge grin on her face.

  I peered at the road in front of me but could see nobody.

  “Oh, Sam,” Chris called. “Like the dress. Ooh la la.” He gave me a thumbs up and Alex smacked his arm.

  I ran back to the car—as much as I could in high heels—got in and tore down the road. Checking the rearview mirror I saw they were coughing like crazy because I raised a cloud of dirt. I chuckled. “Oops.” The grass along the roadside was so long, I almost missed the next couple. Again I slammed it into park and ran to my friends, Maxine, who used to be my boss when I worked with Alex, and her husband, Todd. “You guys are here, too? This is awesome!”

  “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Todd elbowed Max. “We just happened to be here. On this road. In the middle of nowhere. We saw these signs and thought, ‘These are pretty nice. Let’s hold them.’”

  “Uh-huh.” I couldn’t stop smiling.

  “But you better get moving,” Todd added. “We’ve got—”

  “A schedule to keep. I know. I know.” I waved at them and walked to the car.

  Luckily I still had my window down from talking to Jake and Ryan because I heard them yelling at me. “Wrong way! Wrong way!”

  I threw the car in reverse and they shook their signs in an exaggerated fashion. Max’s pointed to the left, Todd’s said, “YOU’RE ALMOST THERE”, and then, in small letters (sort of). I laughed.

  I don’t know what you’re up to, Kyle. But whatever it is, it’s awesome. And I love you something fierce.

  I put the car in drive and cut the wheel. I had to wait because a car was actually coming in the other direction. When I crossed the road, I was on a dirt lane which dipped almost as sharply as the culvert on each side of the road. At the bottom, the lane flattened out and the road curved into a wooded area. In the shadow of the trees were three more of my favorite people. I stopped, and was getting out to hug them, but Elise approached my passenger window. “Mom. You have to keep going.”

  “Can’t I give Zoe a hug?” Zoe was my best friend Dani’s daughter, who was in her first year of teaching kindergarten in Denver. We loved her like she was one of our own. More actually. My kids drove me crazy. Zoe ran in front of the car, and I hopped out and hugged her, and we jumped around. It was nice to see a smile on her face. Her light was dimmed when her boyfriend, Zack, broke her heart.

  “Oh, you look so good.” She had on blue jean shorts and a white T, but, like her momma, she had a simple, natural beauty radiating out from her.

  She brushed my cheek. “Oh, don’t cry.” She became teary and struggled to speak. “You’ll ruin your makeup.” She took a step back, holding both of my hands and swinging our arms out wide. “Ooh. Kyle did good with the dress.”

  I glanced over the hood at Hunter. He was holding his sign high. It said, “FOR GOD’S SAKE, SLOW DOWN, WOMAN!!!”

  “Hunter,” I said, giving him a pouty face.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Scofield. They made me do it.”

  “Mom. Go!”

  “Okay, okay. Cool your jets.” I got in, and she moved away, then I called to her. “Elise.”

  “What?” she said in an exasperated tone.

  “The car is so clean.”

  “Hunter helped me.” She touched his shoulder.

  I bent to peer out the window at Hunter. “You’ve redeemed yourself, young man.”

  “Ooh. I almost forgot.” From his pocket, he drew out an arrow cut from cardstock. He leaned in the window and held it, facing forward. “I’m supposed to give you this exactly like this.” He jerked his head to the right, staring at the glove box. My lips turned up and I opened it, with his help. I lifted out a purse matching the shoes, with a rhinestone cap. Something fluttered to the seat and Hunter grabbed it and handed it to me. A card bearing the message DON’T OPEN ME. I could tell something was inside. He stepped back. “Well, you better go on.”

  “Thanks, guys.” I waved at them, and continued along the lane without argument. I peeked at the purse. I had to see what was inside. I slowed, peering down the lane to make sure no one was looking. But when I went to open it, I found it had a tiny gold lock which required a key.

  You know me so well.

  By this time I was so anxious to get my hands on him I was about crawling out of my skin.

  Twenty yards farther, the road was angled pretty sharply to the left, so I was forced to slow. But around the next bend, the trees became sparser. In the distance an archway stood over the road. I read the words on the top out loud. “Bring ’Em Home Campgrounds.”

  Campgrounds?

  “What are you up to, Kyle?”

  A booth stood between the entry drive and exit, unmanned, but on the ledge extending out from the window a bouquet sat, a beautiful mixture of mauve colored roses and an assortment of other blooms in soft pastels, with leaves and baby’s breath artfully tucked within. The stems were tightly wound with an ivory ribbon with a few tails hanging off the end, reminding me of ballet slippers. Next to it, was a small Canadian flag, its pole suction cupped to the shallow shelf. I brought the flowers in through the window and breathed in their heady fragrance then, on a whim, I laid them aside on the seat, and reached out to pluck the flag from its location and mount it on my dashboard. Before I knew his full name, I entered him in my phone as Kyle the Canadian. I never changed it because it reminded me of the night we met. I continued on, scoping the area with anticipation.

  On the right, in a recess in the trees, was a big propane tank, and wood for purchase on the honors system, a slotted wooden box would hold the three dollars charged. A little farther on, a large meadow opened on the left. The area was filled with tents and had spots to park shooting out like spokes at regular distances. The road went straight, meandering up a hill, or circled the meadow, but I knew which direction to go. Beyond the meadow, to the left, I could see a lake. A pier reached into the water, and on posts on either side, gold balloons were tied. But I wasn’t looking at them. I was staring at the man standing in the middle wearing a tux. He stood with his legs wide, his hands laced together.

  “Oh, my God!” I squealed. I turned the wheel and headed straight for him, but when he saw me coming, he signaled to the left like I was taxiing airplane. Now I noticed the arrow stuck in the ground near an empty parking space. I pulled in, switched off the ignition, and hopped out, peering at him across the hood.

  “Hey, baby.” He spread his arms wide with a grin. “I thought you’d never get here,” he added, his voice soft. I left the door open, intending to run to him but he yelled, “Sam! Sam!”

  “What?” Then I realized the car was rolling. “Oh.” I quickly slid behind the wheel and shifted it into park. I ran to him and jumped into his embrace.

  He chuckled. “Hi.”

  We locked lips and immediately became involved in a passionate kiss. In the background I became aware of gravel crunching on the drive and vehicles began to honk merrily. Keeping my arms around him I watched as all of my friends drove in, yelling and waving out their windows. One by one they found parking places. Zoe, Elise and Hunter were the first ones out, climbing from Hunter’s mom’s small SUV.

  “Zoe,” Kyle called out. “Could you grab the flowers out of the car, please?” He turned to me, then, spun back. “And the purse. And whatever else I’m forgetting.” People laughed. They were all getting out of their vehicles and walking toward us. Zoe scampered over clutching the flowers, my wrap, and the purse, which she handed to me, as well as the flag, which she gave to Kyle. He stuck it triumphantly on the top of one of the posts on either side of our dock. “I claim this land for Canada and all its territories.” Zoe kissed me on the cheek and stepped away. Kyle cocked his elbow. “Are you ready to continue?” he m
urmured, his eyes glowing.

  “I don’t know. Am I?” I latched onto him.

  He led me across the planks slowly. “Did you have a nice day?”

  “The best.” Flowers…a tux…balloons…. “What are you up to?”

  He extended his arm in front of us. “I don’t know. I thought maybe we’d go for a boat ride.”

  At the end of the pier a boat was tied. But not a simple row boat, a freaking gondola, painted in red and gold. I put a hand on his cheek and coaxed him to me so I could give him another kiss. To my pleasure, he rotated his whole body to me and dove in, running his hands along the silky fabric of my dress and coaxing me in closer.

  “Get a room!” Joanne yelled. Laughter bubbled from the crowd. She was the principal of the school I worked at and a good friend. I pivoted to scan the faces. All of the people I loved so dearly. It brought tears to my eyes. With a pang, I realized Tucker and Dani were not among them, because they were still on an extended European vacation. A single tear leaked out and before I could, Kyle wiped it away with his thumb, leaving his hand on the side of my face.

  “Is everything okay?”

  I needed to hold it together. I took a breath and looked at him. “It’s perfect. I can’t believe you did all this.”

  Instead of answering, he gave me another soft kiss, making my heart skip a beat. Everyone else melted away, and it was simply me and him.

  “I-I don’t even know what to say….”

  He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it. “I love you, Sam.” I stared into his face, a face I would watch age and be allowed to kiss for years to come. It was almost too much. My heart was so full it hurt. Switching hands, he placed one foot in the boat. He extended his other hand and helped me in. The seats were cushioned and covered in black. Once I was settled, he untied us from the pier. He sat on the bench opposite me and frowned.

  “I should have had some music.”

  I put my hand on the side of his face. “No, everything’s perfect.”

  He grabbed the oars by the handles and started to row. “Yeah. But some music would be nice. Some AC/DC? Or Chase Hatton?”

  I laughed, then looked at the sun dancing on the lake, birds circling above, and the trees dipping their branches into the water. I shaded my eyes. He seemed to be aiming for a small platform still several yards away. A figure stood in the middle, back presented to us, clothed in a black robe. “Who is that?”

  He shrugged. “A friend of mine.”

  I relaxed, relishing the warmth of the setting sun. He was wrong about the music. The soft noise of the voices from on shore, the happy cries of the birds above and the calming, languid beat of his oars in the water sang to us.

  He cleared his throat. “I gotta say…” He tilted his head, running his gaze over me slowly, in a way that sent my engine revving. “…that dress is sensational on you.” We let the moment linger. The breeze blowing along the water was cooling the lower the sun sank on the horizon.

  “Can I sit by you?

  “As long as we don’t end up in the drink.” He stopped rowing and took my hand to help me balance, shifting in his seat to make room. I snuggled into him. “Are you cold? I was afraid of that.”

  “Oh, no. I have my wrap.” I stretched it out and he assisted me in getting it around my shoulders. I leaned against his chest again.

  “Better?” he murmured. I nodded and he kissed my hair. “Good.”

  I could tell he was working harder rowing. “Is this awkward?” I started to adjust.

  “No. It’s fine. Stay here.”

  I settled in and watched him row, imagining his strong, muscular arms under the crisp black sleeves. “Don’t gondolas usually have long paddles?”

  His lips lifted. “I made a few modifications. Turns out gondola-ing—is that a word?—in a small Nebraska lake is problematic.”

  On closer inspection, I noticed the oarlocks were much newer than the other hardware used to tie the boat off.

  The breeze blew his hair. “But it needed to be a gondola. A row boat wouldn’t do.”

  I chuckled. “Of course not.” I tilted my chin to peer into his face. “You’re such a grand schemer.”

  He looked down with a grin. “I am. Ain’t I?” We paddled quietly on. He was taking his time. The sky was on fire with color, the sun sinking to the right of the mysterious figure on the platform. Who the hell was it? And, moreover, why were they there? He interrupted my thoughts, saying casually, “Do you like the necklace?”

  I ran my hand along it. “Oh, yes. It’s gorgeous. Thank you, honey.” The words didn’t seem nearly enough, but he seemed satisfied. He lowered his lips to mine again, once more taking me to a place of carnal desire before pulling back, leaving me on the edge, anticipating more in the future. I played with the necklace. “I love the design. It’s so unique. Can you imagine what a piece like this would cost if it was the real deal?”

  “Oh, it is real.”

  I sat forward, rocking the boat a tad. “What?”

  His eyes twinkled. “Yeah. I got it at Tiffany’s.”

  I blinked. “Like…in New York?”

  He nodded. “Remember that special referee camp I had to attend at the beginning of the summer?”

  “Yes.”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t go there. I went to New York.”

  I blanched. “You went there for this?” Now I knew it was real, I couldn’t keep my hands off it.

  He looked at the horizon. “That, and to meet an investment counselor.”

  “An investment counselor?”

  He put the oars up. “I was planning on saving this for later. To make sure you were remarrying me for the right reasons. But—” He drew something out of his pocket.

  “Is that what we’re doing? Renewing our vows?”

  He laughed. “Yes. I thought you’d figured that out.”

  “Well, I had my suspicions.”

  He held a small white envelope, which he opened, spilling the contents into his palm. “Actually, I’ve lied to you a lot lately.”

  “You did?”

  “Uh-huh. Remember that Canadian road trip I took in January?”

  “Yeah. I think so.”

  “That was actually the All-Star break.”

  I cozied closer to him again. “Damn. I should have figured that one out.”

  He tapped me on the nose. “Yes. You should have.” Then he got quiet for a moment. “So, it’s kind of hard for me to explain this, but…you know how my Great Aunt Gertrude died suddenly and I was sad I couldn’t be there for her at the end?”

  “Yes. I remember that.”

  “I needed some time to…sit with that. This seems so dishonest now when I tell you this. And I can’t even explain to you why I did it…but I rented a cabin near her place in Alberta, and I spent a couple days just…hiking, fishing, sitting in a rocking chair and doing nothing.”

  I parted from him a little. “Oh, honey. I wish you would have shared how much you were hurting. I could have been there for you.”

  His face looked pained. “I know. I’m so sorry.”

  I thought about it. “No. It’s okay. We all handle grief differently. This is how you needed to deal with it.”

  He squeezed me to his side. And exhaled. “I…” He had to stop and collect himself. “I’ve been carrying that around for a while. The guilt for not telling you about it. I should have. I should have simply told you, ‘Hey babe, I need to go spend some time alone.’ But…it wasn’t exactly planned out.”

  I put my fingers on his mouth. “Shh. That’s all in the past. It doesn’t matter.”

  “Yeah. You’re right, I guess.” He sniffed. He was turning a tiny gold key over and over in his hand. “Anyway.” He looked off to the shore. “If I don’t hurry this story up we’ll be saying our vows in the dark and a whole lot of people will be partying without us.”

  I smiled. “There’s a party?”

  His lips quirked. “Well you didn’t think all those people were here f
or the camping, did you? Anyway, anyway,” he said hurriedly. He took a breath. “So, another reason I went there is because there was a reading of the will. I didn’t want you to have to sit around being bored while some lawyer droned on and on and I ended up inheriting a gold pocket watch or something.” He handed me the key. “You can open the purse.” He stretched to get the purse for me.

  “Is what you inherited in here?”

  “In a way,” he answered vaguely. He gestured. “Open it.”

  I worked the key into the lock and opened it, drawing out a book. I flipped it. “She left you an NHL rule book?”

  He chuckled. “So, you know I told you she had kind of a rough relationship with her two kids. She admittedly spoiled them—and let me tell you, she was not lying about that. They are a real piece of work, the two of them—but, anyway…. She left me a third of her estate.”

  I brought my hand to my chest. “What?”

  He laughed. “Yeah.”

  “But…you told me she was extremely wealthy. And what does this book have to do with it?”

  “I’m getting there.” He inhaled. “She was a lot more well-to-do than I thought. Like…a lot.” He looked into my eyes. “Her estate is worth well over six million dollars.”

  I gawked, opening my mouth to speak then shutting it. I shook my head and tried again. “You’re telling me you inherited two million dollars?”

  “Well, roughly. A little more, actually.”

  My mouth hung open. My gaze dropped to the book. I held it up.

  “How would you like to have a more full-time roomie?”

  “What?” I threw my arms around him. This was unbelievable. Kyle, all to myself. No road trips. No missed holidays. I mean, I had known what I was getting into when I married him…on the surface. But I’d had no idea how much I’d miss him. But, the more I thought about it, the more something seemed wrong. I slowly drew away. “But…honey…won’t you miss hockey? I mean, you’ve been doing this all your life. It’s who you are.”

  “Well, I’m sure I’ll miss it some, but…Rickie Turner is starting an elite high school hockey team in Omaha and he wants me to help him. It’ll be a short commute, but I’d be home every night. Other than the nights I’m helping out at some NHL referee camps. This is all open for debate, though. I want your input.”