And Then What?

by D. R. Graham

  I could sense her lingering. But she didn’t say anything else before she eventually closed the door. My phone buzzed with a text so I rolled over and reached towards my bedside table. The phone number wasn’t familiar.

  Always in my heart

  Trevor had obviously borrowed someone’s phone, which was sweet. But I got sad at the thought that it might be hers. It was probably Nick’s, but I was still hurt by the possibility that it could have been hers. I replied Love You and then thought about how I was going to fix things as I twisted the ring he gave me around my finger.

  CHAPTER 3

  In the morning, the light peeked through my curtains and brightened the ceiling patterns that I had been staring at all night. It took every ounce of energy I had to slump out of bed and cross the hall to the bathroom. When I saw my face in the mirror, I actually gasped. The rims of my eyelids were blood-red and the dark circles under my eyes made me look like a desiccated vampire.

  I stood in the shower and waited for the water to warm me up. I almost didn’t have the motivation to get back out, but my legs were tired of holding me up, so I turned the water off and put a robe on. I didn’t even dry my hair before I shuffled down the hall towards the kitchen to boil water for tea. Trevor was seated at the kitchen bar. He looked a million times worse than I did.

  “Morning, sunshine,” he said hoarsely.

  I didn’t respond, partly because I was surprised to see him and partly because I didn’t know where to start. My mom had obviously let him in on her way out and I wondered what he had told her. His dark hair stuck up in different directions and he was wearing the same thing he’d had on the night before. The rock from Britannia Beach that I’d had engraved with the Always In My Heart inscription for him was in his hands. He cradled it in his palm as if it were an injured bird. “Thanks for the birthday present. I love it.”

  My eyebrows angled together and I walked to the sink to fill the kettle. I was apparently still not in the right frame of mind to sort everything out. I placed the kettle on the stove. I could feel him staring at me as I dropped tea bags in two mugs and waited for the water to boil.

  “Deri.” The sound of his voice made my heart ache. “Derian,” he whispered, so softly.

  It felt like he wanted to deliver bad news to me. Like break-up kind of bad. I didn’t want to admit that everything I had always wanted was over, but maybe it was impossible for a special childhood friendship that turned into an intense adolescent love to last forever. It felt as if my heart was being peeled into shreds one thin layer at a time. It was excruciating.

  “Murphy said you planned a surprise.” He waited for me to respond, but I was too choked up to speak. When I didn’t say anything he exhaled heavily. “I’m so sorry I missed it.”

  I looked over my shoulder at him. “Were you out with that woman?”

  “No. I was studying with a couple of friends from class all afternoon and we went to the pub for a pint. When I realized it was almost eight, I’d had a few drinks and didn’t think it was a good idea to drive, so I headed over to catch the bus. I would have called, but I don’t know where my phone is. I think it was stolen at the library or fell out of my pocket.” He stopped talking and stood, inching only slightly closer, as if he wasn’t sure how to gauge my mood.

  I folded my arms across my chest and leaned my butt against the counter. “What happened between going to the bus and Murphy and me finding you with that woman almost four hours later?”

  “I ran into Ethan, the guy in my biology class; you met him at that Halloween party, he was dressed as Muhammad Ali.”

  I nodded, not because I remembered Ethan, but because I wanted him to get on with the story.

  “Ethan’s girlfriend, Abbi, had texted him saying that she was worried about one of her friends because she couldn’t find her. They belong to a sorority that had a dinner party and it got crashed by a bunch of frat guys who turned it into a kegger. The last time Abbi had seen her friend, she’d been dancing with some guy nobody knew and then they disappeared. Ethan and I headed over to the sorority house to help Abbi look for her. It took a while, but we eventually found her in a laneway, unconscious.”

  “Oh my God. Is she okay?”

  He shook his head and his forehead creased with stress. “She’d been drugged and her clothes were torn.”

  An awful feeling weighed heavy in my stomach, partly because she’d been assaulted and partly because I had been so selfishly worried about something that suddenly seemed so trivial. “That’s horrible. Did they catch the guy?”

  “They will. The police questioned everyone after the ambulance left and they know who did it; they’re going to pull surveillance first to make sure the case sticks.”

  “Was that Abbi you were walking home?”

  “A friend of hers. She asked me if I’d walk her home because she’d had too much to drink. I texted you from Ethan’s phone to tell you there had been an emergency. Didn’t you get it?”

  “I did, and at first I was sick with worry, but then we found you and I thought you had lied so you could hang out with someone else.” The kettle started to scream. I turned around and poured water into the mugs.

  “Why would I lie?”

  “I don’t know. I feel like an idiot for assuming that you were with her in a romantic way. I’m so sorry I didn’t stay and give you a chance to explain.”

  Trevor’s arms wrapped around my waist from behind. He hugged me and rested his chin on my shoulder. I could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “I can’t believe you doubted my feelings for you.”

  “I was afraid you changed your mind.”

  “That will never happen.” He kissed my neck. “From the day I met you, all I wanted was to be near you. And if I’m not here right by your side, guaranteed it’s because something really bad has happened.”

  I turned and reached up to touch his face, a face I’d known most of my life. “Don’t even say that. I don’t ever want to lose you.”

  “You won’t. You’re the best thing in my life. You always have been and you always will be. I will be yours forever, if you want me.”

  I leaned in and kissed him. “You are what I have always wanted and what I will always want.”

  He smiled and tipped his head forward until our foreheads rested on each other.

  “I’m sorry I overreacted, and jumped to crazy, unwarranted conclusions, and acted embarrassingly selfish and jealous when you were doing a great thing and helping someone who was in danger. I’ve been really stressed and tired and I had a vision that scared me, so I’m definitely too sensitive right now.”

  “What was your vision about?”

  “I’m not sure. It was vague. I couldn’t find you. Or, maybe you couldn’t find me. It didn’t make any sense, but it scared me. I thought it was an omen.”

  “I will always find you.” His hand slid up to cradle the back of my neck. “No matter where you are; I will always find you.”

  “I know.” I kissed him. “That’s one of the things I love about you. And you’re hot body is another thing.” I tickled his ribs as my eyebrows rose suggestively. “My mom’s out with Ron if you want to hang out for a while.”

  He caught the hint and picked me up to carry me to my room. “Are you going to make me breakfast afterwards?”

  “Of course.”

  “With apple-cinnamon muffins?”

  “Of course.”

  He smiled and then kicked my bedroom door shut behind us.

  CHAPTER 4

  I woke up late the next morning and rushed to pack my bag to spend reading week with Sophie in Tofino—rain gear, toques, scarves, gloves, long johns, rubber boots, wool sweaters, and all my textbooks. The weather forecast was for torrential rain and cold temperatures. I had only been to Sophie’s cousin’s cabin on the west coast of Vancouver Island one other time and it was during the summer. I kind of remembered it being really windy and cold even in the middle of August, so I packed as many warm clothes as I could fit i
n my bag.

  Sophie showed up at eight in the morning, grinning with her hand propped on her hip—she was never in a good mood in the morning. Something weird was definitely up. She was wearing tiny jean shorts, a t-shirt, and flip flops.

  “Uh, why are you chipper this early and why are you dressed like that?”

  “Change of plans.”

  “Changed how?”

  She pulled all of the warm clothes out of my bag. “You’re not going to need these.”

  “What? Why?”

  She jumped up and down and waved two pieces of paper in front of my face. “My dad got us stand-by tickets to Acapulco and booked us in at an all-inclusive resort.”

  I shook my head to make the information sink in. “Are you kidding?”

  “Nope. I already asked your mom and she’s cool with it.”

  Not sure if I was more shocked about the tickets to Acapulco or the fact my mom agreed, I paused. “Seriously?”

  “My dad is convinced I need to travel, meet people, and experience other cultures. Date other guys.”

  “But your parents like Doug.”

  She shrugged and took a while to answer. “They don’t like that I’ve only dated one guy since I was fourteen. And they’re really not thrilled that he wants me to move to LA. Whatever, it’s a good time for me to travel and maybe figure out what I want to do with my life. We’re going to Mexico for a week—all expenses paid.”

  “Shut up!” I squealed and jumped up and down with her. Then my heart sank when it hit me that I couldn’t go. “I have way too much studying to do.”

  “Study, schmudy. You can read on the plane, on the beach, by the pool. Would you rather read textbooks in the freezing-cold Tofino rain or in the decadently warm Acapulco sunshine?”

  “Good point.” I didn’t even need convincing. “Sunshine, here we come. Yes.” I did a fist-pump and leapt around my room to dump all the winter clothes into my closet. I filled a suitcase with shorts, bathing suits, summer dresses, hats, sunglasses, and sandals.

  “Don’t forget club outfits,” Sophie hollered from the living room.

  I grabbed some dressy clothes from my closet and opened the drawer to my bedside table to pull out the box Mason’s necklace was in. It was the nicest thing I owned and it would be one of the few times I could wear it without Trevor knowing.

  “Mom!” I shouted and spun around, startled because she was already standing in the doorway, smiling.

  “Are you really okay with us going to Mexico?”

  “Yes. I think it will be a great experience. You’ve been working too hard at school lately and the stress has been getting to you. Here’s your passport.”

  “Thanks.” I gave her a big hug. “This is so awesome. I have to tell Trevor.” When he didn’t respond to the text, I remembered that his phone was still lost. I hoped we had time to go by and see him before the flight. I skipped out into the living room and danced around with Sophie like hyper cheerleaders for another few seconds before we said goodbye to my mom and hurried down to Sophie’s car. “We have to stop by UBC on the way to the airport.”

  “Yeah, I figured. So where was he the other night? You kind of left out all the juicy details when you texted to say you found him.”

  “There was an emergency at school and he had to help a friend.”

  “What kind of emergency?”

  “A girl was drugged and date-raped. They helped find her and called the ambulance and police.”

  “Jesus. Is it weird that I’m totally not surprised that’s the reason he no-showed? I hope they caught the piece of shit who did it.”

  “Yeah, apparently someone at the party knew who he was. So that’s good.”

  “It’s great. And you know what else is great? We’re going to Mexi-cooo,” she sang.

  “Woo!”

  We parked on campus and ran to Trevor’s building. We were laughing and holding hands like we used to when we were little girls. A classmate of Trevor’s named Beth—tall, with long, wavy, brown hair and a pin-up girl figure—was at the front door and just about to go into the building. I had met her at least six times before because she often sat with Trevor’s friends for lunch and she went to two football games with a whole group of us, but she always acted like she had no idea I was Trevor’s girlfriend. She turned to hold the door open for us, then smiled. “Derian, right?”

  I nodded, surprised that she actually remembered my name.

  “I was just going up to see Trevor. I found his phone on the floor in my room. He must have left it there the other night.”

  Sophie whimpered a little as I dug my fingers into her hand.

  “Here.” Beth held the phone out. “Would you be a sweetie and give it to him for me?”

  I didn’t move to get the phone. Sophie finally extended her free arm and took the phone from Beth.

  “Thanks. Tell Trev that I’ll see him tonight at study group. It was nice seeing you again.” Her smile was so phoney I wanted to puke.

  “Okay, ow! You can release the vice on my hand now,” Sophie complained after Beth strutted away.

  I stormed into Trevor’s building. Sophie chased after me. I pounded on his door with unnecessary force. When he opened the door, he was grinning, but when he saw my expression, his smile faded. “What’s wrong?”

  I held my palm up to signal Sophie to produce the phone. “We ran into Beth downstairs. She was kind enough to return your phone.”

  “Where did she find it?”

  “On the floor in her bedroom, apparently. She said you must have left it there the other night.”

  “What?” He frowned as the information sunk in. “I’ve never been in her room. I don’t even know which apartment she lives in. Did she really say I was in her room?”

  “She certainly did.” I passed the phone to him. “I came by to tell you that Sophie and I are going to Mexico for a week instead of Tofino. Have fun at study group tonight.” I spun around and took long, fast strides down the hall. When I realized Sophie hadn’t followed me I turned back to give her a “come on” gesture. She and Trevor were both standing in front of his door staring at me.

  “Derian, you can’t leave things like that,” Sophie called. “That whore was lying. Trust me, I know a lying whore when I see one.” She walked towards me, stood close, and whispered, “Don’t let a girl like that weasel her way in and ruin what you guys have. I’ll wait in the car. Take your time.”

  After Sophie left, I stood in the hall staring at the tiles. I didn’t actually look, but I could feel Trevor waiting patiently. I was going to be gone for a week and I didn’t want things to be bad between us. I wouldn’t be able to relax if I knew that the last thing I said to him was hostile. I thought about what Sophie said. She had to handle groupies hitting on Doug all the time and she was right that I shouldn’t believe Beth over Trevor. When I eventually looked up at him, he smiled, probably because he knew I wouldn’t leave still mad at him.

  He walked over to hug me. “She’s lying.”

  I rested my cheek on his chest and listened to the comforting rhythm of his heart beat. “I know. But why would she lie?”

  “I don’t know. She’s obviously trying to break us up.”

  Lying or not lying, that part was definitely true. There were so many things testing our bond. I didn’t want it to break.

  “The last time I remember having my phone was when I was at the library. She must have taken it.” He leaned back and held my face between his palms. “I won’t study with her anymore.”

  The sincerity in his eyes reassured me completely. We were unbreakable. The universe could throw as many tests as it wanted at us. “I don’t want you to mess up your grades. If you have to work in a group with her I trust you.” I leaned forward and kissed him.

  He pressed me against the wall and his hands slid down the side of my body to rest on my hips. “Are you really going to Mexico instead of Tofino?”

  “Yeah, Sophie’s dad gave us stand-by tickets with his airline
and he’s paying for an all-inclusive resort. Here’s where we’re staying.” I handed him the piece of paper that I had written the hotel information on. “I’ll email you every day.”

  He leaned in and whispered, “I don’t want you to go away,” before he kissed his way down my neck.

  I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the soft touch of his lips against my skin. “I don’t want to go away anymore,” I whispered back and clutched his hair to draw his lips to mine.

  “Hi, Derian,” Nick said loudly to interrupt our make-out session as he walked up. “Nice to see you again.” He paused and leaned in close to us, grinning. “How’s it going?” Trevor laughed and shoved him in the shoulder. “Oh, are you guys busy? My bad.” He mussed Trevor’s hair before carrying on towards their room “Don’t let me interrupt. We can talk later.” Before he disappeared through the doorway he pointed at us and made his eyebrows dance in an animated way.

  Once we were alone again I kissed Trevor softly and whispered, “I love you so much.” I touched his chest. “Always in my heart.”

  “I love you, too. Have fun in Mexico, but be safe.”

  “Always am.” I smiled and kissed him one more time. “See ya, Maverty.”

  “See ya, Lafleur.”

  Nick poked his head back out into the hall. “Bye, Derian.”

  “Bye, Nick.” I kissed my fingertips and blew it towards Trevor. Nick pretended to catch it, which earned him a body-slam into the wall.

  “Okay, I give up,” Nick choked out.

  Trevor let him go and they both stood grinning at me. I shook my head and waved before I took the stairs two at a time. I jogged to the car and flung the door open, which startled Sophie. “Sorry I took so long,” I said breathlessly.

  “Was it worth it?”

  “Definitely.”

  “All right, Mexico, here we come.”

  “Wooo!”

  CHAPTER 5

  I was too excited to read my textbook as Sophie and I waited at the airport gate to see if we could get on the next flight. I people-watched and made up stories in my head about why they were travelling. A young guy kept looking at a picture in his hand and smiling longingly, so I decided he was flying to meet a woman he met online. A woman whose eyes were red as if she had been crying typed on her phone the entire time she waited. I decided she was the oldest sibling and her father had died, so she was trying to arrange everything for the funeral. I also saw a family with two little boys. They looked like twins, but one had no hair and his skin was pale. He seemed weak and leaned his head on his mom’s shoulder. The healthy-looking one stood at the windows with his dad and pointed at an airplane that was taking off. I decided they were going to their grandparents’ cabin because it was the sick one’s dying wish. It reminded me of Mason and his twin brother. Cody had died of cancer the same year my dad died. Mason’s mom once told me that Cody’s dying wish had been to go fishing at their grandparents’ cabin, and seeing the boys in the airport made my eyes tear up.