And Then What?

by D. R. Graham

  Her shoulders relaxed a little. “Yeah, I guess Mason would have to be worth a lot of dough for them to waste those kinds of resources.” She turned to face him. “Hey, Mason. Exactly how many days of searching are you worth to a Mexican drug cartel?”

  He licked his lower lip and stared down at the dirt. “I’m sure they gave up after that first night.”

  Sophie smiled, but I knew he was lying.

  I sighed and walked over to him. “Here, take these.” I handed him the bag with the last four painkillers in it.”

  He shook his head to decline. “You need those.”

  “No. I don’t feel pain anymore.”

  “Because you’ve been taking them.”

  “Mason, we might need you to be able to walk. Please take them. I’m not going to take anymore, whether you do or not, so you might as well.”

  He sighed to surrender and held his hand out. “I’ll take two. You take the other two.”

  “Two won’t make any difference.” I tossed the bag into his palm, then turned to walk away.

  “Four isn’t going to make any difference either,” he mumbled under his breath.

  I wandered over to a tree and sat with my back against the trunk. I wanted to try to have a vision that might give me some direction or maybe warn me of danger. Nothing came to me. The only image that even flashed through my mind was from the first date I ever went on with Mason. We went to a party and it was a complete disaster. The image that was stuck in my head was a snapshot of the moment when Trevor and Mason were both staring at me, waiting for me to choose which one of them I wanted to drive me home that night.

  We waited all day by the cave, taking turns, watching for a rescue team to hike in. Nobody came. We heard the helicopter two more times, but it was impossible to know if they saw the t-shirts. “We should make a signal fire while we still have daylight,” I said. “They won’t see the fabric at night. If it’s a rescue team they’ll be looking for smoke.”

  “If it’s the cartel guys, they’ll be looking for smoke too,” Sophie said.

  Mason’s eyebrows angled together. “What if it’s not a rescue team, Deri?”

  “We don’t really have a lot of options. Either we signal aircraft hoping for the chance that they are friendly and will help us, or Sophie and I leave you here and try to get help on our own. Which do you prefer?”

  Without answering, Mason stood up and hopped around to collect dry branches. Sophie helped him by taking armfuls from him and transferring them to the shore. I separated the wood into three piles for three fires because I knew it was the international distress signal. Trevor taught me it when I was only ten. He received a survival book for his twelfth birthday and made me memorize every page with him. I gathered some dry moss and found two rocks to make a spark with. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the strength to hit the rocks with the right velocity.

  “Mason. I need your help.”

  He took the rocks out of my hands and clapped them together repeatedly. Eventually, he generated a few sparks, but not big enough to set the moss on fire. He took a break, then tried again. “Yes,” he shouted.

  I lunged forward and gently blew on the spark that had jumped from the rock into the moss. It started to smoke. Then when I blew again, it ignited into a small fire. “Good job.” I placed it onto a bigger pile of moss, blew on it again and then transferred it to light up the first pile of sticks.

  “Hey, you did it,” Sophie said as she walked over to us. “Look what I found.” Mason and I both glanced over our shoulders. She was holding up a bushel of purplish coloured plants. “I think we can eat these. I saw Hector’s sisters taking some back to their hut.”

  “Yeah,” Mason said and checked it out. “It’s amaranth. The locals turn the seeds into a porridge-like paste.” He looked around. “We could also eat acacia seeds if I can find some.”

  I lit the other two fires with a burning branch from the first one, then I layered damp leaves on top to make it smokier. Sophie got to work rubbing the amaranth to separate the black seeds from the plant.

  “Do you want to come with me to try to find an acacia tree?” Mason asked me once the fires were smoking.

  “Sure. Do you want to come, Soph?”

  “I’m good. I’ll keep the fire smoking and try to get enough of these to make something to eat. Just don’t wander too far.”

  “How are you doing?” I asked him as we walked along the bank of the river.

  “Good. It doesn’t really hurt. It just won’t bend properly.”

  “No, I mean, how are you really doing?”

  He looked sideways at me and sort of smiled as he shook his head. “You haven’t changed. You always did want to know how I really felt about things.”

  “And?”

  He inhaled heavily and stared off into the distance. “When you weren’t doing very well it reminded me of when my brother was dying. I used to have nightmares when he was sick and I’ve been having them again since we’ve been here.”

  “What happens in the nightmare?”

  “I’m sitting on the floor in my childhood bedroom all alone. It’s dark and there’s no furniture in the room because my family moved out and left without me. Not only is the house empty and abandoned, the neighbourhood is also deserted.” He paused and the crease between his eyebrows deepened. “When I realize that I’m all alone in the house, in the city, maybe in the world, I start to feel panicky and I can’t breathe because I don’t know what to do next. Then I wake up.”

  I stared at his face for a long time, understanding exactly how he felt. “No matter what happens, I won’t leave you alone. I promise.”

  He hugged me tightly into his chest and rested his chin on top of my head. After a while, I turned and pulled his arm so he would sit down with me on the grass.

  “When I was delirious, I thought I saw your brother with my dad.”

  “I know. I heard you talking to him.”

  “Was he like you?”

  Mason chuckled. “Everyone else thought we were exactly the same, but we didn’t think we were anything alike. On our tenth birthday, our parents threw a huge party at the country club. My dad knew a guy who worked with the Toronto Maple Leafs and he gave us authentic game jerseys. We were both really excited and we put them on as soon as we opened the boxes. We wanted to know what we looked like in them, so we asked a waitress where the nearest mirror was. She laughed and told us to just look at each other if we wanted to know what we looked like in the mirror. I turned to face Cody. I thought she was a complete idiot because all I could see was how he looked in the jersey. He was the only person who saw me as Mason.”

  “I see you as Mason.”

  He smiled. “I know. That’s why I can’t stand the thought of losing you too. Seeing you sitting in that bar in Acapulco seriously took my breath away. All of my old feelings came flooding back as if they had never been gone.” He tucked my hair behind my ear and looked into my eyes. “When I saw that you were wearing the necklace I gave you, I wondered if maybe my dreams were coming true and I was getting my second chance with you. Then you told me you and Trevor were still together. It felt like a steel blade went through my chest and stopped my heart dead.”

  I closed my eyes, trying to stave off the guilt. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m the one who’s sorry.” He choked up and had to pause before he continued. “I have never felt worse than how I felt when I saw that you had been shot. I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt if anything happened to you. I’m sorry that I didn’t protect you. I know Trevor would have kept you safe.”

  “I wouldn’t be alive right now if you hadn’t carried me all night.”

  “You wouldn’t have been shot if I hadn’t brought you here in the first place.”

  “I came here of my own free will. I’m the one who blew you’re cover. Stop trying to take all the blame.”

  “Derian, you and Sophie would have never been in danger if it wasn’t for me.”

  “St
op. Blaming ourselves isn’t helping. We’re going to make it out of this just fine. We’re going to be able to look back at this and tell stories about the time we were hunted by a Mexican drug cartel. Trust me. No one will believe us, but we’ll be able to tell the story.”

  He nodded and took a deep breath. “I just don’t want to lose you,” he whispered.

  “You won’t.”

  He hesitated for a long time then said, “Whether we make it out of here or not, I’m going to lose you.”

  I knew he was talking about me going back to Trevor if we survived. I hated how I felt in that moment. The thought of him being hurt again on top of everything else broke my heart. I wanted to say something that would make the pain on his face disappear, but I didn’t know where to even start.

  Eventually, he stood and held his hand out for me to join him. “Come on. Let’s go find some food before it gets dark.”

  We didn’t talk as we searched for an acacia tree. We couldn’t find one nearby and we didn’t want to wander too far away from Sophie, so we headed back. She was crouched next to the fire using a stick to stir a tiny bit of paste on a concave rock that she was using like a bowl. When she saw us, she hopped up and smiled. “Feel like some dinner?”

  We both wandered over and dipped our finger into the paste. It actually tasted not bad, but there wasn’t enough to actually satisfy any hunger. “It’s really good,” Mason said as he sat down near the stream.

  “I can make more tomorrow,” she said as she swiped her finger over the rock and licked up the last of it.

  Something moved in the bushes across the stream. I tensed and turned to see if Mason heard it too. His jaw muscle twitched as he stared across the water in the direction that I’d heard the noise come from. He sprung to his feet and tugged Sophie’s arm. “Get to the cave.” The bush crashed as if something very large or something in large numbers, was coming towards us. We reached the base of the boulders and scrambled towards the opening of the cave. Men’s voices shouted at us to stop. We were spotted.

  CHAPTER 19

  Sophie, Mason, and I all slowly turned to face the men who had just emerged out of the forest. They stood, staring at us from the opposite rocky shore of the stream. The first four men were dressed in all black with bulletproof vests and they were carrying rifle-type guns. Beside them were two other men wearing fatigues and bulletproof vests. Mason stepped to stand in front of Sophie and me like a shield. The men moved towards us and I waited for them to lift their guns and take aim. The one guy who was in fatigues was bald and so huge his vest looked like a postage stamp on his chest. The men moved quickly towards us. I let go of Mason’s arm and stepped around him. My throat closed up and I had to force air in past the big lump that formed. My eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t even see through the watery mess as I slid down on my butt off the rock.

  I tried to run, but I fell to my knees and the heels of my hands scraped across the dirt. A bolt of pain shot through the fractured bone. I didn’t care. I scrambled back to my feet and basically launched myself down the bank of the stream. I scrambled towards the men without even thinking. Although my vision was blurry from my tears, I could see the dark-haired one wearing fatigues sprint full speed at me. I hadn’t even taken two steps into the water before his left arm clamped around my body. It caused excruciating pain where the bullet was lodged in me, but I bit my lip to prevent a scream from escaping. It didn’t work. I screamed. The fingers of his right hand dug into my cheek and held my face so he could look directly into my eyes. I was trembling and my breath stuttered. I blinked away the tears and stared into his silvery-grey eyes. “Please tell me I’m not dreaming,” I stammered between sobs.

  “You’re not dreaming,” Trevor breathed into my ear. “I told you I would always find you, no matter where you were.”

  I hugged him with every ounce of strength I had left. It felt as if everything that was familiar and safe was with me. All the worry and stress that had been stored tightly in my muscles floated off my skin like a million tiny little bubbles. He leaned back to cradle my face with both his hands. We stared at each other for a long time before he smiled, which made me smile and cry at the same time. I hugged him again and rested my ear on his chest so I could hear his heart beat. “You promised you wouldn’t go on any rescues until I got home. You’re in big trouble, mister.”

  “Are sure you want to bring up the topic of trouble? If I wasn’t so relieved to see you, I’d be yelling at you.”

  “I know. Sorry.” I tilted my head back and kissed his lips softly.

  He raised his eyebrow and ran his finger under my necklace pendant. “Nice necklace.”

  “You would notice that and not the fact that I was shot.”

  “What?”

  I turned a little so he could see my shoulder.

  “Jesus. Murph! She was shot.”

  I looked over towards the cave, where Murphy was already set up on the flat rock with his first-aid gear, checking Mason’s bullet wound. Mason acted as if he was trying not to look at Trevor and me, but he glanced over briefly.

  “Bring her over here. I’ll take a look at it,” Murphy hollered.

  “Mason was shot too,” I told Trevor.

  Trevor clenched his jaw and shook his head in an angry way.

  “It wasn’t his fault.”

  “Yeah, it was.”

  I dug my fingers into his bicep to make him face me. “Trevor, please, we’ve all been through a lot. Promise you won’t blame him.”

  “I can’t promise that.”

  “Please.”

  “I can’t. He nearly got you killed.”

  “I’m fine and he already blames himself more than he should. Promise.”

  Trevor looked at me suspiciously, then reached down to lift my hand up. He turned it to check if I was wearing my ring. He saw it and let my hand drop again. “I can’t,” he said and turned his head until he wasn’t looking at my face.

  “You can, and you will,” I warned him.

  “I’ll try. I’m not making any promises.”

  “Seriously? We’ve been lost in the Mexican wilderness, shot by kidnappers, starving for days, and you want to pick a fight?”

  He inhaled heavily and cracked his neck to the side, as if he was trying to get rid of his urge to go after Mason. He closed his eyes for a second, then looked directly into mine. “I’ll try.”

  I knew I wasn’t going to get a better promise than that and I was too weak to argue, so I let it go. We walked over to where everyone else was hanging out near the cave. The four guys in all black, who were obviously private security, had rested their guns on a log and were talking. Murphy examined Mason’s arm. Murphy had obviously given Sophie his Search and Rescue t-shirt because she looked like she was wearing a full-length nightgown as she sat and unwrapped a protein bar.

  Murphy focused on Mason, whose arm had started bleeding again. “It’s not that deep. It shouldn’t be bleeding like this. Do you have any medical conditions?” Murphy asked him.

  Mason glanced at me before mumbling, “Not that I know of.”

  “Are you taking any medications?”

  “No. Just two painkillers today.”

  I walked over and spoke softly into Murphy’s ear as I hugged him, “Mason wasn’t feeling well, even before this happened. He had lab work done.”

  “What were the results?”

  “They weren’t back yet,” Mason murmured and shook his head at me.

  Murphy finished dressing the wound with layers of gauze, then made him take some anti-inflammatory pills for his knee. He also burst two ice packs and held them in place on Mason’s leg with a tensor bandage. When he was finished, he turned to me. “All right, Deri. Take a seat. Let’s have a look at the damage.”

  I sat next to Mason on the flat rock. He didn’t even look at me before he got up and hopped over to sit on the log with the guys in all black. They gave him a protein bar and Gatorade.

  Murphy made a face when he looked at
my shoulder. “You’re lucky the bleeding stopped. This could have been really bad.”

  Trevor glared at me and his jaw tensed before he glanced over at Mason.

  “Trevor,” I warned. “I’m fine. Oh, except my wrist is broken too,” I informed Murphy. “But that was from horseback riding, not from being chased by murdering drug dealers.”

  Murphy shook his head in a way that made it clear he didn’t think my humour was appropriate.

  He was right. It really wasn’t appropriate given the seriousness of the situation. “I have a brace somewhere.”

  “Why aren’t you wearing it? You’ve probably made it worse by now.”

  “It feels gross when it’s wet.”

  “You’re such a wuss.”

  “I took a bullet,” I reminded him.

  “Yeah, I guess I can give you a little credit.” He shoulder-checked to see if Trevor was far enough away to not hear us. He was talking to Sophie. Murphy looked at me with dead seriousness and said in a low voice, “He’s not going to let it go.”

  “It wasn’t Mason’s fault.”

  “Yeah, it was.”

  “It was my fault. I have a big mouth and I’m the reason they even found out who Mason is. I put us all in danger. He didn’t do anything wrong.” I stood. “I’m the one who almost got us all killed. I’m the one who Trevor should be mad at. I’m the idiot!” I didn’t realize until I saw everyone staring at me that I’d been yelling. “Ugh,” I growled. I was so frustrated and whatever Murphy put on my wound was making it sting. I covered my face with my hands for a few seconds.

  When I looked up, they were all still studying me as if they thought I was losing it, which apparently I was. I turned, took a couple of strides, slid on my bum off the rock, and walked into the forest to calm down. I pressed my back against a tree trunk only a few metres away and sat cross-legged in the dirt. I sat there until I heard Murphy yell in his booming voice, “Hey, hey, easy.”

  I stood up too fast and got dizzy, so propped my hands on my knees and let my head hang down until the light-headedness passed, then I rushed back to the group. Everyone was standing near the cave. Trevor was in front of Mason and I could tell by Mason’s defensive posture that Trevor had either said or done something threatening.