Allerleirauh

by Chantal Gadoury

  “I’ll catch you,” Klaus said as he reached out to me. His arms were outstretched, ready to support me. I pivoted, allowing him to help me down from the horse. The grey-stoned cottage was small, despite it’s own personal charm, as the forest around us lay quiet and still. The only sounds were the birds’ sweet melodies. I rested upon a small bench near the door of the cottage and listened to the wildlife as Klaus finished tying the horse to a nearby branch.

  “It’s very nice here,” I remarked as he came to sit beside me. Klaus shrugged coolly as he tugged a small strand of straw from the roof above.

  “I used to come here often with my mother,” he admitted softly. “She said this cottage used to belong to her family long ago. My father always helped to maintain the cottage for her until she died.”

  He looked over his shoulder, looking into the still darkness just beyond the entrance.

  “After she died, I did what I could to keep it standing. I always found it odd to think my mother lived here, in the woods, far away from the life she was whisked into.”

  “I didn’t know your mother had been . . .” common. I bit my lip and stopped myself from saying the word aloud.

  “Poor?” Klaus asked with an amused grin and slowly began to nod. “It’s a bit of a complicated story,” he explained with a shrug. “My mother came from a wealthy family, but lost their fortunes in the middle of a very complicated war. Families fought families. Many of them lost much of their riches trying to keep the crown on top of the men they thought should be König. Her father became a well-respected tradesman and was often out to sea. He died there, on his ship, leaving her family with nothing. All their possessions were used to pay his debts.”

  Intrigued by the story, I leaned my elbow upon my knee waiting to hear more.

  “It’s been said my mother was thrown into the royal court as a last effort to salvage the family name. Her family made empty promises of vast fortunes, lands and homes, but the most important . . . male heirs. At the time, my father, the newly crowned König was looking for a bride. Of course, any promise of an heir was enough for him. He saw my mother and took a great liking to her.”

  “And so . . . he married her?” I asked, tilting my head curiously.

  “Well, it’s never just that easy, is it?” he said with a sigh. “It never is, it seems. Of course because of his royal status, there were many pre-arrangements and propositions for my father to consider. But my father was a stubborn man, and he was overcome by his desire for her.”

  “And so?” I breathed, biting my bottom lip. Despite already knowing how the tale would end, I waited with anticipation for his answer. Klaus laughed and leaned back against the bench’s back.

  “Well, I am sitting here, so that must tell you my father did marry her.”

  “Well, of course, but . . . what did he do? How did he win her?”

  “I don’t suppose he really had to win her,” Klaus replied. “My father offered the family an assortment of valuables and riches, and they accepted. A proposal was made and she accepted. The council had little say in my father’s decision of a wife. Truly, they only cared about the promise my mother’s family made; providing their new König with a prince.”

  An heir.

  I lifted my hand to my forehead and rubbed along the crease of my brow. Was everything about marriage to always lead to an heir? Wasn’t there – couldn’t there be more?

  “My mother had a son before me,” Klaus continued on quietly and slid his hands over his thighs. “His name was Arthur, but he only lived to his first year. I never knew him.”

  “I didn’t know . . .” I breathed.

  “I know,” he said with a nod. “Arthur is rarely mentioned. It was a hard loss for both of my parents. By the time my mother gave birth to me, my father had already begun to drift into the arms of the other women. My father became a new man and my mother . . .” Klaus paused. “After she died, I knew I wanted to make her proud. I wanted to be the greatest ruler I could be for Saarland.”

  “When I lived in . . . when I lived with my father,” I began, taking the moment to seize my courage. “There were always tales of Saarland and yourself. I once heard a lord speak quite highly of you.”

  I thought of the night at the ball, and my first meeting with Lord Crestwood. His words then had reflected his pride and admiration for Klaus.

  “Truly?” He flashed a smile. “Well, I suppose that makes me feel I’ve done some good in my life.”

  “I think you have a Königreich you should be quite proud of.”

  “Lord Crestwood has been discussing my approaching coronation,” he said with a sigh. “I wanted to give my people the proper amount of time to mourn the loss of my father. But now with the passing of six months, I suppose I should formally take the crown. And with a wife by my side, ruling Saarland der Licht will be easier. . . better.”

  “You need a wife who shares or admires the same views and values that you and your Königreich have,” I said, brushing a loose strand of my hair away from my face.

  “I agree,” he managed with a dip of his chin. “Just as you need a husband who deserves you.”

  I could feel my cheeks begin to flush as I shifted against the bench. Klaus pushed himself up onto his feet with a grunt, brushing off some of the dirt from his pants and moved towards the door.

  “Would you like to come inside and take a look?” He offered. Klaus pushed at the old, wood door as I peered over my shoulder. The door seemed stuck as he pushed, warped a bit from age and weather. But with an extra amount of force, the door swung open.

  “I could build us a warm fire,” Klaus offered and I gave into the temptation with a nod.

  He held out his hand to help me to my feet and I found myself taking it. Klaus did not let go of my hand. Instead, he held it within his own. My entire body began to warm from his touch. He guided me to one of the corner chairs in the room and motioned for me to take a seat. After I was situated, he moved to tend to the hearth of the fireplace.

  The cottage was quaint and small, and only had a few windows in the front room. I could see the graceful beauty of the place, and what he admired so much in the remnants of his mother’s life. There weren’t very many pieces of furniture in the room; a few chairs stationed around the fireplace and a simple bookshelf in the other corner, empty of any books and shrouded in a layer of grey dust. In adjacent to the room, I could see a small kitchen with several cabinets and a large pump-sink with a few small cups and bowls sitting beside it. How long had it been since anyone was here last Klaus stepped out through the main door where I watched him gather a few fallen branches from the ground and brought them back inside. He opened a small tinderbox beside the hearth, and pulled out a fire steel. In the matter of moments and a few flicks from the object in his hand, a fire roared to life. Klaus sat down beside the fireplace and let out a sigh, slipping on a few snapped branches over the flames.

  “I remember an evening my mother and I came here. I’d just learned how to make a fire—taught by a few of the guards at the palace, and I was very proud of myself. My mother sat here and watched me. She watched and waited for me to burn my hands, but to her surprise, I did not.” His eyes stared into the fire as the corners of his mouth pulled up into a small smirk.

  “I always wanted to prove my worthiness to her. I wanted to prove I could be the man she hoped I’d become.”

  I clamped my lips together as I listened. I wanted to tell him that he had become that man and more. His mother would have been so proud of him . . . proud of his kindness, his compassion and strength.

  “What was your mother like?” Klaus asked as he extended his legs out in front of him. I hadn’t noticed until then just how built his arms were; how large and masculine his body was shaped. He nearly took up majority of the floor space in front of the fire.

  A small chill ran along my spine at the thought of my mother; the way she had appeared on her deathbed with her pale skin and trembling fingers. Her hands had clung to my father
desperately as she waited for his promise.

  “She was . . .” Words seemed to elude me as I tried to think of how best to describe her. Her vain eyes lingered in my memory, as she once gazed at me with disgust. The snap of her fingers, jolting me from my studies to scoff at my posture. Her harsh criticism when I never looked just as she wished for me to. But I didn’t have the heart to share the truth of her aloud. Now in this quiet, beautiful place.

  “Lovely,” I managed. “She was quite a beautiful woman.”

  “Was she in agreement to your father’s arrangement also?”

  “My mother died one night in the middle of winter,” I replied softly. “My father wept for her over several months. The land of Tränen was not the same for him or for anyone who knew her.” I was careful in crafting my words together. As I lowered my gaze, I felt the instant pang of regret in not being truthful with Klaus.

  “She must have been quite—” Klaus began to speak, but I shook my head before he could go on. My confession of my mother rolled from my tongue before I could stop myself.

  “She was cruel . . . cold at best. I never knew my mother the way a daughter should,” I confessed. “I was her disgrace because I was the only child she ever bore to my father. My mother was far too selfish to take the time to care for me, and because of my sex, it ensured I never would. Truthfully, I was a stranger to her on her deathbed. Her dislike of me has continued to haunt me from beyond the grave . . .”

  Klaus pushed himself from the floor and came to kneel in front of me. I could feel my cheeks begin to warm as I watched his hand gingerly touch my knee; a small gesture of compassion and care. With his other hand, his fingers moved to lift my chin until our gazes met. This was the most I had ever allowed him to touch me. There was a warmth through the pads of his fingertips; a safety and familiarity I wanted to know more.

  “Haunted perhaps, but not possessed. You are your own person, Aurelia.”His lips peaked into a smile as he continued to speak.

  “You have a beautiful soul. I find I am lucky enough to see it every day you grace the morning table. There are things in our lives we cannot control, but within those times, there are simple timeless moments, when we should remember the joy we found in a smile, a word, a gesture,” he replied, searching my eyes with his enticing forest green ones. There were even speckles of brown and blue hues as I stared more closely at them.

  “Whatever happened in the past, matters no longer in the present. To me, it does not matter what happened to our mothers and fathers, or their mothers and fathers. We are our own people now. It makes no difference to me where we come from, who we are or who we are not. It is who we are to each other.”

  Klaus’s smile grew larger as he slowly rose to his feet.

  “I know there is much around us outside of this cottage; a whole world full of turmoil and troubles, but what remains here inside, is the two of us. The two of us who are friends. The two of us who are learning to trust one another.”

  I could see the conviction in his eyes and I knew he was speaking from a deep part of himself; a part of which I longed to know better.

  “We see each other as we are,” he said with an assured nod. “I see you as you are, Aurelia; beautiful, intelligent, and kind. Your brokenness does not deem you invaluable. I can be forced to be a great König, and you a gentleman’s wife, but is that who we really are?”

  There was confidence and kindness in his eyes as he continued with a shake of his head.

  “I don’t believe so. We are more. We’re much more,” Klaus murmured. “You’re more . . .”

  He slowly extended his hand out to me as if he were welcoming me home. There was an overwhelming sense of understanding; as if he could see deep within my heart. Within the palm of his hand, he was offering so much more than his friendship. He was giving me a second chance. As I lifted my hand to touch his, there was a strange urge deep inside of me to never allow myself to be parted from him; as if there was a string binding myself to him. I never wanted to be without his kind eyes, or gentle laughter. The way he had the ability to stir my heart to life. How would I ever gain enough strength to leave, knowing he would belong to another?

  “Come,” he said, tilting his chin towards the door. “Let’s take a walk around the lake.”

  With a nod, I pulled myself up from the chair and followed him out of the cottage, towards the small trail leading to the vast, blue lake. The sweet scent of wild flowers filled my senses as we quietly walked beside one another. A cool breeze weaved between us as the sun’s warmth cascaded over my skin.

  “Would you like to swim?” He asked, gesturing to the lapping water ahead. I let out of huff of air and laughed.

  “I don’t think so,” I replied quickly, shaking my head.

  “Then would you mind if I went for a swim?”

  “Of course not,” I began softly, and watched as he began to tug at the laces of his tunic.

  He untied them and pulled his shirt over his head; his muscles flexing. My eyes were wide as I watched him undress. Flashes of my father’s chambers caused my heart to quicken in pace. I tried to remember to breathe as I looked away from Klaus. Candlelight. The warmth of the wine deep inside my belly. My father’s rough hands on my arms. The feel of his chest hair against my skin. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to focus on the gentle sound of the water lapping.

  “Are you alright, Aurelia?” Klaus asked, touching my elbow lightly. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you.”

  “It’s . . .not that.” I replied, shaking my head. It’s my father. It’s my father and what he did to me. After a few more hesitant breaths, I opened my eyes and saw Klaus’s worried gaze upon me. His shirt was in his hand, while his other still held my elbow.

  “There is no need to be embarrassed or be concerned with formalities—certainly not in this place. There are no eyes here to judge us. We are two friends about to go for a swim,” he said with a reassuring smile.

  “Well, you are,” I lightly laughed as I tried to swallow the fostered fear in my throat. I did my best to keep my gaze away from his exposed chest.

  Klaus turned and I watched him walk towards the glistening water. There was nothing improper about what he was doing and I tried my best to negate the uneasy feeling twisting deep inside of me. After a moment more of watching him, I decided to seize the moment. I could hear Myriah’s urging to take the opportunity to enjoy myself; to spend time with Klaus. I hadn’t ever been allowed to do something so freeing.

  I took care to remove the outer layer of my dress and carefully folded it, laying it on the ground. Adjusting my chemise and rolling up my sleeves, I made my way towards the river. Klaus was wading in the knee-deep water, skimming his fingers over the surface as he moved deeper. The sunlight shimmered against his soft hair as he lifted his hands to his waist and arched his back. I imagined he was taking a deep breath of the fresh air; the sweet scent of the rushing water. Everything was so beautiful and peaceful around us - a welcoming calmness. I made my way to the shoreline of the lake and slipped a foot into the clear blueness. Ignoring the slight chill the water sent through my body, I began to wade into the water, towards Klaus.

  “Did you change your mind?” Klaus asked as he turned to look at me with an amused smile. I tried to conceal the flush upon my face as I nodded.

  “Not afraid, are you?” he observed and I could only respond with a slight laugh.

  “Of course not. It’s a bit chilly though,” I replied.

  “A little, but I’ve endured much worse,” he waved his arm again, gesturing for me to catch up.

  I never would have conducted myself in such a way at my father’s castle. This, with Klaus, was liberating. I was finally free from the rules and obligations that I had once been expected to follow. Sucking in a deep breath against the cold current, I pushed myself until I was also knee-deep in the lake.

  “I’ll take you a little farther out into the lake,” Klaus said as he watched me pause beside him with a grin. My lips were beginning to t
remble from the cold. He held out his hand and waited for me to take it. “I won’t let go,” he added. I glanced at his hand and bit my lip timidly. With a brave sigh, I took his hand and allowed him to pull me farther. My toes felt the drift of pebbles disappear and I reached out to grab his shoulder instinctively before I submerged myself.

  “Lift your chin!” he chuckled as he watched me. “Close your lips. You’ll allow water to get in.”

  I felt his hand squeeze mine as he pulled me closer, doing his best to help me remain above the water’s surface. Swimming in a lake or ocean was an experience I’d never had before. Despite my nerves, I knew I was completely safe with Klaus. In this new and thrilling experience, I trusted he’d take care of me. I found myself completely infatuated with how the river enveloped me; encircled around my fingers and feet like a new layer of skin. As I caught Klaus watching me warmly, I felt out of sorts and tongue-tied. His hair was slicked back from the water, and his eyes were even more piercing than before.

  “If you move your arms like this . . .” He began as he showed me his own moving arm, sweeping through the water. “. . .and kick your feet, you’ll keep yourself afloat. It’s always good to remember to keep your lips closed and your chin up.”

  Klaus started to ease back a little, while his hand continued to keep a firm grasp on mine.

  “Try to do exactly as I showed you and swim to me,” he murmured. I nodded with as much determination as I could muster and released the grasp of his hand. Confidence glimmered in his eye as he smirked. I started to move my arms exactly the way he had shown me, pushing them out and around, out and around, all the while kicking my legs. Klaus clapped his hand and laughed aloud.

  “See? You’re doing it!” he exclaimed. “You’re a mermaid now.”

  Klaus reached out for me, and I took his offered hand, giving myself the chance to rest of my legs. The new movements caused a small ache in my arms and legs – none of which I had ever felt before. Klaus began to pull us back closer to the shallower parts of the lake, where I could rest my feet against the pebbles underneath.