His face, when I told him, would forever haunt me. We had bred a monster. My son was evil, there was no other word for it. I knew he wouldn’t have a clue what he had done, his habit and his mental state taking him into that void we all begged for. But that still didn’t make it right. Far from it.
Mason’s eyes opened and for a brief second I watched him wake, his eyes coming into focus and fixing on me.
“Hey,” he whispered, his fingers immediately coming to touch my face. “You okay?”
I didn’t answer, because to be honest, I wasn’t sure what I was. Sliding my finger over his eyes I wiped a tiny bit of sleep from the corner. My man was so handsome, he always had been. He had grown even more perfect with age, the slight strands of grey in his hair and the laughter lines around his eyes adding to his good looks.
He gazed at me in silence for a while before he sighed. “We need to talk, Ava. Please.”
“Where are we?”
“Mum signed you into her private clinic.”
“What?”
“It’s okay,” he added quickly. “You’re not tied down. You’re free to go.” He blinked and a sadness crept into his eyes. “But I wish you would stay for a while, just to get your strength back.”
He swung his legs off the bed and reached for a glass of water. The room was quite luxurious for a clinic. I knew Mason’s mother charged a hefty whack for a week in her rehabilitation clinic. The bulk of her clientele were celebrities, her reputation for confidentiality making her the chosen one to go to if your life was in the spotlight. She didn’t offer services for drugs or alcohol, but mental breakdowns and mental illnesses – hence why I was currently there.
“I can’t stay,” I told him. “Things need sorting.”
He knew what I was talking about, and he nodded. “Yes. That’s what we need to talk about.”
My heart squeezed tight. I didn’t want to talk about it. However, I knew it was inevitable.
Mason settled into the plush armchair beside my bed and rubbed his hands over his face. He was tired, as I was. His eyes were underlined with thick heavy bags, his face pale, but it was the sorrow in his eyes that had me swallowing back the ache.
“Firstly, Mum’s called in Dr Franks.”
I stilled, anguish rolling over me, but I nodded. Dr Franks was my oncologist.
“Why isn’t he aware of the cancer returning, Ava?” His tone was quiet but held a note of anger. When he narrowed his eyes on me I sighed.
“Because I didn’t want to deal with it yet.”
“Cancer doesn’t wait, Ava!” He was angry. And he was right.
“I know, and neither does my family.”
Glaring at me, he accepted my excuse. “That’s all well and good but now it’s time for you. Dr Franks is going to do some tests, and you’re going to stay here for a while.”
He lifted a hand when my mouth opened to argue.
“No excuses, Ava.” He leaned into me, so close that I could feel the warmth of his breath rush across my cheek. “You’re too precious. You think I can deal with any of this if I lose you? You think I’ll ever be able to be a decent dad to my children if you’re not here holding my hand and dragging me through?”
My heart clenched as tears surfaced. “What are we gonna do, Mason? If Greg finds out…”
“Greg won’t find out. Not until I know the full story anyway.”
“I feel sick,” I whispered. “I can’t eat. I can’t breathe. I can’t… I can’t seem to make sense of anything. She warned me. And do you know what I did?” I snapped, self-hatred making me furious. “I laughed at her. I fucking laughed at her, Mason!”
“Shh,” he soothed as he shifted on to the bed and wrapped me up. “It’s not your fault.”
“Then whose fault is it? Because it certainly wasn’t Courtney’s.”
“How can you be sure it was George? What did Courtney say?”
The pit of my stomach rolled but I closed my eyes and remembered the last time I spoke to my best friend;
“You need to listen to me, Ava. There’s something not right with George!”
She’d been trying to make me listen for an hour.
“You think I don’t know that, Court. He’s just lost his wife and child! Would you be ‘right’?”
She shook her head wildly. “No, it’s something else. He’s so hooked up on that shit he doesn’t even know who he is half the time. He has episodes he can’t recall. There’s something - a darkness - in his eyes that scares me.”
“Courtney.” I sighed. “He needs to take responsibility for what happened to Debora and Becca. He blames Mason, but it was his drug debt that they paid for. Not Mason’s.”
“And that’s another thing,” she went on, “His hatred for his own father isn’t normal. The way he talks about Mason, the reaction he has every time someone mentions him, it’s… it’s disturbing.”
I was tired. The lumps on my neck had grown. I was terrified of leaving Mason for too long in case the Vaughans decided to take their revenge. I was already worried about George’s habit, especially now he’d turned to crack too. And now my best friend was piling on top of it. My mind hurt, and so did my heart.
Relenting, if only to placate her, I nodded. “Fine, I’ll go see him. Talk to him.”
She nodded, blowing out a relieved breath. “Thank you. I go see him as much as I can, but if I’m honest, he scares me, Ava. I mentioned rehab and he went batshit crazy, screaming at me and throwing shit. He’s so angry all the time. I swear, every time I look in his eyes the void in there gets bigger.”
“You go see him?”
“Of course I do! He needed me when you got sent down.” She seemed upset and I reached for her hand, giving it a squeeze.
“No, I’m grateful. It’s just he never mentions it.”
She scoffed. “Because he’s so piped up he probably can’t remember. I love him, Ava, he’s my Godson, but I’m telling you now, he’s not the same anymore. He’s…” She struggled for a word, then lowered her eyes, “…wrong.”
Wrong.
I shivered at her chosen word. Fucking drugs had been the weak spot in my family. For all Mason’s faults, drugs were the one thing he refused to deal with in the business. And I was grateful for that. However, I wasn’t naïve, just because the Fox’s didn’t supply them didn’t mean no one else did.
“I don’t want you going back until I’ve spoken to him, Court.”
She nodded, looking somewhat grateful. “Okay.”
Coming back to the present, I closed my eyes. “But I know she did, Mason. Lucas got back to me with her phone records. The call she received in the Panther was from George.”
“But that doesn’t mean he killed her, Ava.”
I shook my head. “I went to see him the day after Courtney disappeared. There was blood everywhere. He was unconscious. I don’t even think he was aware I was there, never mind Rosie.”
“You sent for Rosie? To clean up? But you didn’t think to mention it to me?”
I gulped at the shock in his voice. “I didn’t know what to do! You already have so much to deal with…”
“Whoa!” he barked. “Stop right there! You think I don’t have time for your problems? When have I ever fucking pushed you aside for my own problems?”
He was right. Again.
“Never,” I whispered. “I just panicked, Mason. It was obvious he’d tried to clean it up, so that got me on alert to start with. I just knew in my gut he’d done something bad.”
“Then why the fuck didn’t you tell me?” He was furious, his face reddening every second.
“Because he’s my son! Because I’m scared for him…. Of him!”
Closing his eyes, he blew out a calming breath. “I get that, Ava. Honestly I do. But we’re a partnership, a team. We deal with shit together. Always.”
“I’m sorry.”
Leaning forward, he kissed me softly on the forehead. “I know, baby.” Framing my face with his hands, he tipped my face up
to his. “I’m going to deal with it, I promise. But first we get you right. You have these tests and we’ll deal with the outcome, whichever way it goes.”
“I can’t do it again, not without Courtney.”
He scowled at me. “You can, and you will. I’ll be there, every step of the bloody way. You understand me?”
I nodded. It was all I could do.
***
The cottage welcomed me home four days later. It was like a cocoon, wrapping me safely in its arms and instantly making everything better. I was glad we’d decided to buy it when Katie had told us it had come back on the market. When we’d moved back out to Portugal we hadn’t any plans on coming back to England. Yet we’d soon realised that wasn’t quite working out how we’d planned, many frequent trips back seeing us checking into hotels or renting apartments. I loved my own home comforts so Mason had snapped the cottage up – and here we were. Again.
I always felt George – my surrogate father – within her walls, soothing me and strengthening me. He’d purchased the cottage and helped me renovate her nearly thirty years ago, and still she drew me back like George was once again giving me his support.
As soon as I stepped through the door Mason scooped me up and carried me up the stairs.
“Today I’m going to pamper you,” he breathed into the back of my neck when he set me down in the bathroom. “I’m going to worship you, pleasure you, and love you like never before.”
My heart swelled and I had to drag in a deep breath when it became hard to breathe.
Turning on the taps, he added a huge dollop of expensive bath crème and started to light the candles that were scattered around the room.
“Uh-uh,” he shook his head at me when I started to strip. “That’s my job.”
I stood and just watched him move, appreciating the way his body moved, the structure of his strong muscles defined under the thin cotton of his shirt and the way the ink on his arms – a recent addition to his amazing body - rippled with every movement.
When the water reached the top, he turned to me with a soft smile. Silently, he slipped the buttons on my shirt through their holes, his actions slow but precise. When he popped the button on my jeans and slid them down my legs I was sure he was going to stay on his knees and lean in but he stepped back up and held out his hand to me.
Taking it firmly, he guided me into the water. I sighed with satisfaction as I slid under the depths. Mason stripped then climbed in behind me, his body nudging me up to accommodate his size.
“Mmm,” I murmured as I relaxed back into his firm body. “We haven’t done this for ages.”
“We got a little lost.” His statement was so true that I frowned.
“You ever wish we could redo our lives, Mason?”
He clicked his tongue. “Yes, and no. Yes, to the parts where I hurt you…”
I shook my head. “But those parts made us real, made us stronger. If I could take away the pain I brought you when I slept with Kade, I would. But then we have to wonder if he would be here with us now. If you would ever have found a male lover that adores you so much? I wouldn’t have found Grace; a friend I need right now.”
He ran his fingertip along the prominent scar tissue that ran along my shoulder blade. “But if I’d have kept my promise and killed Dane when I said…”
Once again, I shook my head. “In a way, he made me stronger. He made me find out what it was to fight, Mason. I fought for you, and the twins. I fought for hope that I would make it back to you. Never have I felt that much conviction again. It strengthened me, it strengthened us for this life we have.”
“If there was one thing you would change, what would it be?” He asked, his voice low and thoughtful.
“Just one?”
He nodded. “Just one.”
I lay my hands on his bare thighs, and sighed. “Making my peace with Rebecca.”
His sharp intake of breath told me he hadn’t been expecting that answer. “Why?”
“I can honestly say Rebecca loved you just as much as I do. She was made to pay for that love. I’m grateful that I have your love, and I know that life wouldn’t be worth one more breath without you. Rebecca kept going, right until the end. She fought so hard. I’m in awe of how she kept going, without you.”
He was silent, and I bit the bullet. “Do you miss her?”
He sighed deeply. “Sometimes.”
Picking up the sponge, I dipped it in the water and then trickled it slowly over his skin. “You loved her too,” I declared quietly.
He stilled beneath me.
I smiled. “I know you did, Mason. And I’m glad you did.”
“What? How can you be glad?”
“Because it shows just how big your heart is. I always knew you loved her. I know you did everything to hide that from me… and yourself. She was in your life for a very long time. I know you, and you’re not as cold as you like to think.”
He snorted. “I’m glad you’ve noticed.”
“Oh, I’m very perceptive.”
“You’re very perfect,” he whispered.
Lifting my arms back, I linked them behind his neck and turned to peer at him. “That too.”
He chuckled, pressing a kiss to my head. Moving me forward, he tipped my head back and proceeded to wash my hair, the tips of his fingers massaging my scalp gloriously and lulling me to relax further.
Laying back against him when he’d finished I took his hands and threaded my fingers through his. “If I ask something will you be completely honest with me?”
“Mmm-hmm,” he murmured as he rested his head on the back of the bath.
“I slept with Kade.”
“Yes, I know, that’s a little outdated news now, Ava.”
I nodded and pressed on with where I was going. “You hated him for so long. You despised him, you wanted to tear out his throat and feed it to the birds in Trafalgar Square.”
He laughed but nodded. “That’s one way of putting it.”
I paused. “And now you love him.”
When he sensed my direction I felt him shift underneath me, his chest hardening. “But Kade wasn’t employed by me, Ava. I paid Steed for his loyalty and to guard you. He betrayed me…”
“No, he didn’t. I betrayed you. What I’m saying is, you forgave me and Kade. Why can’t you let this go with Steed?”
He sagged and blew out a frustrated breath. “Fine, fine. I’ll go see Katie, but I can’t promise anything with Steed. And he so much as looks at you…”
I grinned and slid around to face him, my knees perched between his legs. “Thank you. Thank you. I love you, you glorious bastard.”
Hooking a hand around the nape of my neck, he pulled me forwards and steered my mouth to his. “You need to show me just how much.”
I snorted and slid my hand under the water. “I’m not sure what I can do to show you just how much I love you.” However, when I took his hard cock in my hand and enclosed it in my fingers his short hiss made me tighten my grip.
His eyes snapped to mine and the intensity in which he looked at me made my mouth dry. “Harder.”
Doing as I was told I fisted him and squeezed tight, pulling his foreskin back and then up before slowly twisting my hand around. “You want my mouth, baby?” I asked as I tickled the tip of my tongue along his jawline, his stubble grazing and making me shiver.
Pulling my hair behind my head, he tipped my head back and kissed me, his mouth finding mine almost feverishly as his lips pressed firmly against mine. “Suck me,” he ordered when he released my mouth.
As I kissed down his amazing body, he slid up the bath and perched his arse on the rim, making it easier for me to suck him without drowning myself. His hands tightened in my hair when I dragged my tongue up the length of his shaft and then ran it over the head.
His breathing sped up, his chest heaving as I continued to torment him with light touches and delicate strokes. Pre-cum glistened on the head and I collected it, flashing my eyes to his wh
en I smeared it across my lips and allowed my tongue to slip out and taste.
“Suck me,” he growled, gripping my hair more forcefully and taking control of my movements. The tip of him made me gag when he forced it to the back of my throat but that only made him more excited, his cock swelling further and his broken moans becoming more heated. I sucked him hard, taking as much of him into my mouth as I could. He grew frenzied, both of his hands guiding me up and down his cock as each plunge went deeper and deeper.
Abruptly, he pulled me upright and slammed his mouth over mine. His kiss was so hard, brutal and bruising that I fought to breathe through it.
“Get out and bend over. I want your ass.”
Excitement sunk deep into my belly and my teeth pierced my bottom lip in anticipation.
Grabbing hold of the vanity, I looked into the mirror and watched as he shifted behind me. Locking my gaze with his he thrust deep into my pussy, the sudden intrusion making me yelp and shudder.
His eyes were blazing, need and desire making his lids close as he struggled to lock onto our reflection. He fucked me hard, his hips slamming into me as his hands covered mine and he held me still. When his eyes dropped to watch what he was doing I braced myself ready for his cock to slide into my backside.
“Such a tight arse,” he mumbled as he pressed into me.
My muscles squealed and I pushed against him, guiding him inside easier. His jaw clenched and I watched the pleasure roll over his face in the mirror. Just seeing him study his cock sinking inside me elevated my own need.
Pulling out slightly, he spat into his hand and smeared it over his cock, lubricating it before pressing deeper into me.
He growled and I couldn’t help but moan in response, the sound of him was so raw and primal that I felt my orgasm swiftly approaching before he’d even started to fuck me.
He remained still for a while once he was fully in, allowing me to adjust to his size. But then he started to move, fast, hard and deep. His fingertips dug into the back of my hands as he slammed against me, his cock stretching my ass and driving pure pleasure into me. Moving one hand, he slid it under me and pressed his thumb against my clit, making me jerk when a jolt of sensation took my breath. His other arm moved and wrapped around my waist, holding me still for his onslaught.
Decay (Heart of Stone Book 13) Page 10
