Hope: A Memoir of Survival in Cleveland

by Amanda Berry

  But enough of him. I’m focused on the future. I’m going to travel. I want to see Europe and visit Spain and Italy. I would like to go to Puerto Rico and to the pyramids in Egypt. I want to go skydiving, maybe even bungee jumping. I would never have even thought about doing something like that before I was kidnapped, but now I want to try things that make me feel like I am living every minute to the fullest.

  And then I can come back to my cozy new house, where I can find peace and pray to God to watch over my family and keep us all safe.

  Acknowledgments

  First and foremost, I want to thank my beautiful mother, Louwana, the strongest person I have ever known. She never gave up hope and fought for me with everything she had. I know she’s watching me now, and she knows I’m safe. I think about her every waking moment and miss her in ways I can’t put into words. It is because of her, and my beautiful sister Beth, that I never gave up hope. I owe them everything.

  My mother and my sister were not the only ones who fought for me while I was gone. Our family was at their side, as were countless friends and supporters, including wonderful people like Judy Martin, Art McCoy, the DeJesus family, Pastor Dave Shinault, Bill Safos, Bill Martin, Regina Brett, and many more. People who came to the vigils, who prayed for me, who stayed at my mother’s side. People who never quit on me. I knew you were there. I saw what you were doing for me. You have no idea how important that was. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

  I also want to thank the good people with Black on Black, the Polly Klaas Foundation, the BairFind Foundation, and Project Jason who supported my family so they did not have to fight alone. I would like to thank the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, not just for what they did for me and my family, but also for what they do for families everywhere. Thank you for the Hope Award, and an unforgettable trip to Washington.

  I also am grateful to those police officers and investigators who worked to find me, including Detective Laura Parker, Detective Rich Russell, Detective Brian Heffernan, and FBI agents Phil Torsney, Tim Kolonik, and Andrew Burke. They—in particular, my friends Jennifer Meyers and Lisa Hack from the FBI—also helped my family and me after we were free. Thanks to you all.

  After we escaped, there was an outpouring of support for me and my family from people I had never met. I was—and still am—completely blown away by the kindness of people who were complete strangers to me. Thank you to the people who created and donated to the Cleveland Courage Fund, and the numerous businesses that held fund-raisers for it. Your generosity has helped put me and my daughter on a path to a wonderful future. I also appreciate the numerous gifts and cards from people who sent messages of support. I have read and saved every single one.

  I want to thank Mary and Russ Khouri, whose generosity amazes me. I wouldn’t have my house without them. I’m also grateful to the Milam family for all their support. And a very special thank you to George Sheikh, Paul Irwin, and every volunteer who make a house into our home. I cannot imagine more selfless and generous people.

  Thank you to Northern Trust, Westgate Resorts, and to the Cleveland Clinic for all the dental and medical care.

  Jim Wooley is one of the greatest friends I’ve ever made. He and his law firm, Jones Day, have given me their time and skills in a way that I can’t fully describe. There is nothing Jim hasn’t done for me and my family. He has helped us rebuild our lives. I’ll be forever grateful. I also want to thank the whole Wooley family, especially Deb and Joe, for their friendship, love, and totally selfless support. They are my family, too.

  To our other wonderful lawyers, Heather Kimmel, Henry Hilow, Ben Beckman, and Chris Kelly, I want to tell you how much I appreciate your time, hard work, and pure hearts. You are all amazing.

  Thank you to Charles Ramsey for helping me on that crazy day.

  Thank you to Bob Barnett, Clare Ferraro, and all the wonderful people at Viking. I am grateful to Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan for helping me tell my story, for all the boxes of tissues, and becoming friends for life.

  And finally, thank you to my friend and coauthor, Gina DeJesus. We are now living our lives the way we should!

  —Amanda Berry

  • • •

  I want to thank my mother, Nancy Ruiz, and my father, Felix DeJesus, for never, ever giving up the search for me and for keeping hope alive. It is because of your love that I was strong enough and courageous enough to endure my decade away from you.

  My parents did not have to wait alone. I’m so grateful for all my friends and family who provided love and support over the years—you are too numerous to name but you know who you are. Thank you especially to Judy Martin, who stood by my parents at every vigil, and to Bill Safos, who became a real friend to my family over the years. For all the prayers, I thank our family pastor and his wife, David and Carol Shinault. And I also appreciate the support of Mary Rose Oakar.

  Thank you to those who brought awareness not just to my disappearance, but to missing children all over this country. Dennis Bair, founder of BairFind Foundation, thank you for your BringHome100 campaign and for being a friend to my parents. Tara Pretends Eagle Weber, thank you for helping my parents raise the level of public awareness of my disappearance, and for your efforts to promote the legislation that could become AMINA’s Law. Finally, thank you to the dedicated people at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children—for your work over the years and for giving me the Hope Award. It was a week I will always remember.

  Over the years, many police officers and investigators were involved in my case. I appreciate all of your efforts, especially those of Phil Torsney, Tim Kolonick, and Andrew Burke of the FBI. Please don’t give up on all of the other missing children out there.

  So many people stepped forward to help me and my family after I escaped. You all have my heartfelt gratitude—especially all of the people who created the Cleveland Courage Fund and donated money to it, and all the businesses that held fund-raisers. Your generosity is amazing and has helped me in ways that you cannot even imagine. I would especially like to thank my cousin Sylvia Colon, who was a calm voice in the midst of the craziness and acted as the spokesperson for my family; Charlene Milam, who taught me to drive, giving me a real sense of freedom; Margo Funk, for helping me to start to heal. Thank you to Betsy Martinez. And to Jennifer Meyers of the FBI, for her support and guidance. Also, thank you to the generous people at Westgate Resorts.

  I want to express my gratitude to my lawyers for giving so generously of their time and resources and for never asking for anything in return. From helping me navigate the media storm after my escape to helping me find the right way to tell this story, their guidance has been instrumental. They are: James Wooley of Jones Day; Heather Kimmel of the Office of General Counsel of the United Church of Christ; and Henry Hilow, of McGinty, Hilow, & Spellacy.

  I would also like to thank Robert Barnett and the good people at Viking for the chance to bring our story to an audience, and Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan for helping me to tell it with grace. I hope that it will inspire everyone who reads it.

  And finally, I would like to thank my coauthor Amanda Berry. I look forward to many good days ahead.

  —Gina DeJesus

  • • •

  Thank you, Amanda and Gina, for being so strong and honest and trusting us to help tell your stories. We are forever changed and better for knowing you, Jocelyn, Beth, Nancy, and Felix.

  Jim Wooley’s support of Amanda and Gina has been wise, unfailing, and ferocious, and we are grateful to him for opening the door for us to this project, and for reminding us of the power of optimism, just as Patrick Jordan would. Pat, a champion of the underdog, would have loved Amanda and Gina.

  Heather Kimmel and Henry Hilow and the whole Hilow-Ghazoul clan are the finest of people, as are the great Deb and Joe Wooley, and we are grateful for their help and friendship.

  Thanks to Mae
stro Bob Barnett for putting it all together. Clare Ferraro, who brought this book to Viking, is such a pro and unforgettably kindhearted, and Rick Kot is nothing less than a brilliant editor.

  At the Washington Post, huge thanks to Marty Baron, Cameron Barr, Tracy Grant, and David Griffin. We are extremely grateful to David Finkel for sharing his gift with words and ideas when we most needed it, and to our first readers, including Katharine Weymouth, Laurie Freeman, Mit Spears, Andy Burkhardt, Ray and Jennifer Billings, and Julie Jordan.

  Thanks to Patti Davis at the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children for her thoughtfulness and deep knowledge of the issues surrounding missing children. Thanks also to Maryanne Warrick for all her great work.

  Muchas gracias to Sockie Colon, a gracious host in Puerto Rico, and to Antonio Rodriguez for leaving his Yauco factory to lead us up into the hills.

  In Cleveland, a great American city, there are too many people to thank, including many from St. Joseph Academy; please know how grateful we are for your support. A special shout-out to Tom and Mary Ellen Jordan and Maggie and John Keaney, Sharon Sobol Jordan, and Dave Wallace, and all their fabulous kids. And thanks to Patrick Campbell of P.J. McIntrye’s for his welcoming pub and his intrepid truck.

  We’re also grateful to Noreen Jordan and Allen Reiser, Julie Jordan and Jim Cummings, and Kathleen Jordan and Paul Machle for all their support—and Jim’s majestic wine cellar.

  Thanks and love to Thomas Sullivan and Patricia Laughlin, and to Ed and Marg Sullivan, the best parents anyone could ask for.

  Nora Jordan, who turns eighty-eight on the day this book is published, has always been the most excited about this project, a champion cheerleader. Thanks, Mom!

  We dedicate this work to Kate Sullivan and Tom Sullivan, who make it all matter.

  —Mary Jordan and Kevin Sullivan

  Amanda Berry was kidnapped on April 21, 2003, one day before her seventeenth birthday.

  Gina DeJesus was only fourteen when she disappeared nearly a year later, on April 2, 2004.

  2207 Seymour Avenue, the house in Cleveland where Ariel Castro kept three women imprisoned for about a decade.

  After their abductions, Amanda and Gina were each initially held in the cluttered Seymour house basement, where they were chained to a post.

  A few weeks after she was taken, Gina wrote a letter to her parents to reassure them that she was alive, but Castro never allowed her to send it.

  Louwana Miller appeared often in the media pleading for the return of her daughter. She died in 2006 without ever learning what happened to Amanda.

  Gina’s parents, Felix DeJesus and Nancy Ruiz, became impassioned advocates on behalf of missing children during the search for their daughter. Here Felix looks at photos of the missing.

  The National Center for Missing & Exploited Children released a “missing” poster of Amanda and Gina that was widely distributed by the U.S. Postal Service.

  The FBI later created a scale model of the Seymour house.

  An overhead shot shows the second-floor rooms where the girls were held. For most of their captivity, Amanda lived in bedroom (I), while Gina and Michelle Knight lived in the adjacent room (J).

  Chained in their rooms each day when Castro left for his job, the young women attempted to make their captivity as comfortable as possible by adding personal touches. Gina and Michelle, who were forced to share a bed (here), decorated a small refrigerator in their room (here).

  In her bedroom, Amanda put a colorful cloth over the two doors that Castro nailed up to cover the windows behind the bed.

  Castro often slept in the first-floor dining room, which he turned into a bedroom filled with his clothes and the junk he collected.

  Castro used heavy chains to restrain the girls, first around their waists and then around their ankles.

  The kitchen of 2207 Seymour, where Castro enforced strict housekeeping rules for each of his captives.

  One day in May 2012, when Nancy Ruiz was handing out “missing” flyers of Gina, Castro asked for one. An hour later he gave it to Gina, who decorated with hearts and glitter and the foods that she craved.

  Amanda gave birth to a daughter, Jocelyn, on Christmas Day 2006, and took extraordinary steps to give her child as normal a life as possible, including turning their bedroom into a classroom and creating a play area in an empty upstairs bedroom.

  Amanda decorated the walls of her room with posters, Jocelyn’s artwork, and worksheets from their home-schooling classes.

  Amanda and Jocelyn had a dresser, closet, a clothesline to hang laundry, and a small refrigerator with a picture of Amanda’s late mother.

  For years Amanda kept a diary charting Castro’s abuse of her and vowing to be strong enough to survive the experience. Her diary was written in small notebooks that Castro gave her but she also wrote hundreds of entries on any scrap of paper she could find. In this entry from January 2009 she records Castro’s telling her that he had just seen her sister, Beth Serrano, at a local store.

  On May 6, 2013, after realizing that Castro had left the house and forgotten to lock her bedroom door for the first time in ten years, Amanda kicked her way through the front storm door of the Seymour house and used a neighbor’s phone to call 911.

  That evening Amanda was reunited with her sister Beth at the hospital where the freed girls were taken. This photo was taken moments after Beth met Jocelyn for the first time.

  Nancy Ruiz shared her gratitude for the safe return of her daughter at a press conference. Felix DeJesus is at far right.

  News of the girls’ escape made headlines around the world, and people from all over the United States sent letters and gifts to celebrate their freedom.

  Less than an hour after the girls’ escape, Ariel Castro was arrested. He ultimately pled guilty to 937 criminal counts and was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole plus 1,000 years. One month into his sentence, Castro committed suicide by hanging himself in his prison cell.

  Police searching the Seymour Avenue house the day after the escape found a four-page handwritten note dated April 4, 2004—two days after Gina’s abduction. In it, Castro called himself a “sexual predator” and traced his behavior to being sexually abused as a boy in Puerto Rico. The note was part confession, part suicide note, and part rambling fatherly advice to his children.

  On May 6, 2014, Amanda and Gina, along with Beth Serrano, Nancy Ruiz, and Felix DeJesus, met with President Barack Obama and Vice President Joseph Biden at the White House.

  Gina and Amanda

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  *After Ariel Castro was arrested, Nancy Ruiz and Angie Gregg both remembered the phone call and couldn’t believe that it was just a coincidence.

  To Angie, it had sounded so desperate and real that she still hears it in her head, and she can’t dismiss the possibility that it might have been her father accidentally dialing her while he held Amanda and Gina captive.

  Nancy wondered if there had been some mistake in the trace of the call, and it was actually from Castro’s cell phone. In early 2015, the FBI played the tape for Gina, who said the sound quality of the recording was so poor that she couldn’t tell whose voice it was.

  *Emily Castro and her boyfriend had a daughter in 2006. They were then living together in Fort Wayne, Indiana, but he moved out and left the baby with Emily, who was nineteen. The day after he left, Emily took the baby into her garage and slashed her neck four times with a knife. Her mother, Grimilda Figueroa, who was in the house at the time, discovered what was happening, ran out into the street with the bleeding infant, and flagged down a driver, who called 911. The infant survived. When police found Emily covered in blood and mud, she told them she had tried to kill herself by cutting
her own neck and wrists with the same knife she had used on the baby, then tried to drown herself in a nearby creek. In June 2010 she was convicted of attempted murder and sentenced to thirty years in prison, with five suspended. She appealed later that year, arguing that the court mistakenly ruled her competent to stand trial. Her appeal was denied.

  *Robert Wolford, who was serving twenty-six years for murder at a southern Ohio prison, sent a handwritten note to Cuyahoga County prosecutor William Mason in Cleveland on July 19, 2012, claiming that he had killed Amanda and buried her body:

  I am writing this letter because I have a confession to make that has been eating me up for the past nine years. I killed this girl her name is Amanda Berry. Me and her were seeing each other at the time. She had a boyfriend. She told me that she was going to tell her boyfriend that she has been cheating on him with me. So I waited for her to get off work then I killed her. . . . It’s eating me up. I want her family to have the chance to rest. So I will tell you where I put her. I dug a hole on Clark and put her there.