Constant Pull

by Avery Kirk

  I closed the trailer back again and waited for him. I had no fear-just anticipation. He came around the corner with an arrogant walk, scanning left and right looking for her. He squatted down, looking below the parked trailers. He whistled quietly.

  He was a teenager, maybe seventeen. He wore a black bandana on his head and a t-shirt covered by an open shirt and khaki pants that were too long for him. In his right hand, he held a knife, blade facing the back of his fist.

  I moved quickly away from her trailer, hiding behind other trailers near the tree line, as I kept him in sight. When I decided I was ready for him and far enough from the girl, I dragged my feet on the gravel, making noise from the corner of the clearing, behind one of the trailers. A pang of desperation rang through me as I took in the whole situation and I thought maybe I should call the police. My thought left me as quickly as it came.

  I kept dragging my feet on the gravely concrete hoping he’d follow my sound. It worked. He was about 50 yards from the trailers now in an area of the parking lot where the street lights didn’t reach.

  He saw me and complete confusion mangled his face for an instant.

  “What the hell lady, you trying to get yourself killed?” he yelled.

  “No. Just trying to help.”

  “I don’t need your help lady-just looking for someone.”

  “My help is not for you. Consider me her personal guardian.”

  He laughed an evil horrible laugh. “That bitch doesn’t have anyone. And I’ve never seen you before.”

  “You can take off and forget this whole thing or you will deal with me.” My words were ice cold.

  “I got no beef with you lady, this isn’t your problem.”

  “Oh, it is. Tell me boy, what do you plan to do?”

  “If you get in my way you’re gotta risk getting cut. Where’s the GIRL!?” His last word was wild and rage mangled his face. I waited to feel fear but it didn’t come. I felt myself stand a little taller, muscles tensed.

  “She’s not your concern. I am.”

  “Where IS she?!”

  “This is your last chance to leave, kid. Take it.”

  “Lady you have no idea!” It was then that something in him snapped. Maybe his patience was out, maybe he was too angry, maybe he was on some type of drug. He came at me intending to punch with his knife hand and then drag its blade across my skin. I was certain because I could see it.

  I crossed my wrists to stop his blow and knocked the knife from his hand as his fist tried to meet with my face. The knife was on the ground and I had his wrist in a hard stone-like grip. I brought him toward me and kneed him hard in the stomach. He made a lurching sound and tried to reach for me. I heard a sound behind me and knew it was familiar. I tore my gaze from the fight and I saw Kevin, running toward us. In the instant that my attention was elsewhere, he was able to grab the knife again. Damn, I hadn’t kicked it away-I won’t make that mistake again. He slashed me and I felt a warm sensation on my hip and lower belly. It didn’t deter me. I grabbed his knife wielding hand and twisted it hard. The knife fell again and I kicked it as I spun him and I kicked his feet out from under him. I threw him to the ground, my free arm behind his neck. He was face down on the ground, my knee between his shoulder blades, and one hand twisting his arm above them. My other hand gripped his jaw fiercely and moving his head so he could see me. I knew exactly what to do to snap his neck.

  “Listen, boy, I will end you if I must. I will. Think about it. I don’t know you. I don’t care. I have no remorse for ending a child who is evil to his core. I see you. I know what you are. You will not hurt the girl; you will not hurt the child. Do you hear me?” They weren’t my words, yet they spilled out of me like it was a speech I’d rehearsed.

  He was trying to compose himself enough to answer but fear overtook him when he realized my words were unquestionably true and a very real possibility. I could hear someone else close by breathing hard and unevenly but I didn’t divert my attention this time.

  “Tell me your choice, boy. Tell me. I want you to know that there is hope for you. I feel it now. You’ve made poor choices up to this point, haven’t you?”

  “Yes-” he said, fear and my grip cutting his reply short.

  “Tell me what you’ll do if I release you.” I whispered hard.

  “I will run and I won’t come back.” He whimpered, pleading.

  “Will you leave the girl alone and forget your intent for revenge!?” I tightened my grip on his jaw and pushed my other hand down harder on the back of his neck. We both knew that one quick movement with my hands in this position and he would most certainly die.

  “Yes!! Yes!!” He screamed.

  “I see a very miserable life for you and a very painful death if you continue on your current path. I don’t want you to promise me that you’ll change your ways from this moment on because I’m not stupid enough to believe you while you lay here, your life in my hands. But I want you to know that your future only holds darkness if you continue as you are.”

  “K”, he managed to choke out.

  “I will release you and you will run. Get away from here and get away from the girl and the child.”

  I felt him try to nod.

  In a swift movement, I got off him and picked him up to hurry his departure. He shot off into the darkness.

  I turned to face the other person I’d heard earlier. It was Kevin. His mouth was open slightly and his arms were tensed and slightly raised as if he had no idea what to do. I blinked hard and looked into his eyes.

  I simply said, “Please come.”

  I began to run without looking if he planned to follow. I got to the trailer in no time at all. Annora was with the girl. She was sitting with her legs wrapping around the her, rubbing her forehead and her soaked hair.

  Annora spoke in Spanish and told me that she heard the girl and so she unlatched the trailer and stayed. I felt Kevin behind me, his chest and torso touching my back, his forearm wrapped around me at my collarbone as she spoke and his right hand tightened on my left shoulder. He rested his other hand on my hip.

  I brought my hand up and squeezed his forearm while I turned my head slightly to speak to him in a low voice “I have to do this. I’m OK. Is the cab still here?”

  “Yeah” he replied in a whisper.

  “Where?”

  “In front of the stores. It’s there.”

  The girl let out a high pitched scream that she tried to muffle with the inside of her elbow.

  “I have to push, I can’t stop it!! I have to! What do I do? Please help me please!!” She wailed.

  I had no knowledge of childbirth. I’d never even seen it on TV. The whole thought of it was disturbing to me in the past and scared the hell out of me. Nevertheless, without hesitation, I replied.

  “I’m here to help you. May I have your permission to help you? I have to remove your sweatpants and underthings. I will help.” My gaze deadlocked on her eyes so she could see the truth in them.

  She nodded frantically. “OK! Please!”

  She didn’t look like the type of girl that I might’ve stereotyped for this to happen to. She was cute. Blond hair to her shoulders. Very dainty features. Not a small build-but medium. Kind of athletic I guessed. Apart from that, I couldn’t tell much-it was just too dark.

  I removed her lower clothing and bent her legs at the knee, setting her feet flat. The light was so bad it was far too difficult to see-we were in a shadow. I had to move her. There was a streetlight for the parking lot casting a good amount of light on the other side of the trailer. I was frustrated with myself. Maybe I could’ve figured out the lighting problem before I took off her pants and she was about to give birth. I shook my head quickly. I couldn’t risk moving her outside to do this, it wasn’t that late and it would most certainly attract attention. I got the feeling that attention is exactly what this girl was trying to avoid. I looked up at Kevin and Annora.

  “Please help me to move her.” I repeated the same in
Spanish. They looked at me like I was a lunatic. “I just need to move her to where the light is.” I motioned to the other wall of the trailer. “I just can’t see.” They understood. Kevin got into the trailer quickly and he and Annora each grabbed one of her arms while I picked her up by her knees. She was in such pain that we tried to be as fast and as gentle as possible.

  When we set her down, she shrieked. Again, trying to muffle her sound. She leaned toward Annora and Annora stroked her hair sweetly shushing her. Kevin stayed on her other side and his eyes locked on me while one arm supported her back and the other he rested on her thigh, his thumb making small circles in an attempt to help comfort her.

  “What is your name?” I asked.

  “Chloe.” She said. The word almost bursting out.

  “I’m Amelia”, I said while I looked down at her pelvis. Thank goodness I could see. It wasn’t exactly operating room quality light but it was so much better than before. I had to orient myself so that I didn’t cast a shadow.

  I saw what I was sure was the baby’s head surfacing. Chloe screamed in agony.

  “Chloe, I need you to push when you feel like you have to. Tell me when you feel it coming.”

  “‘ts…com-ing right-now.” she choked out as she slammed her hands on the bottom of the trailer and turned her head.

  “Kevin, Annora, hook an arm around one of her legs and hold her hand with the same arm. Your inner elbow should be behind her knee. Chloe, grab their hands for support.” The words rushed out. There wasn’t time to translate to Spanish so Annora just watched Kevin after I gestured for her to look at him.

  It took a few seconds for them to get it right. They each had a leg behind her bent, and one to her side. They both opened their hooked arm’s hand to offer Chloe to hold it but she was mentally somewhere else. I leaned over her and picked up her hands firmly and gently and moved them to the offered hands. She grabbed tightly and looked at me while she leaned back on their legs.

  Chloe’s legs were writhing in pain. I moved her feet back down and held them there.

  “PUSH!” I directed her.

  Chloe pushed for about 25 minutes I’d say. She rested as best she could between contractions and on her last push, out came a baby girl-bald as a cue ball and screaming that sweet newborn baby cry.

  I pulled the towel from the back of my pants and wrapped the baby in it as best I could. It was a bar towel so it barely covered her. I handed the baby to Annora and pulled out the rest of the parts in Chloe. Kevin handed Annora his coat to further wrap the baby.

  “Chloe. I know you’re tired. Please look at me.” I waited until her eyes moved to mine.

  “I need to know your intentions. Do you want to see the child?”

  “No. I’m not ready.” She whispered, exhaustion in her words.

  “Do you mean you’re not ready to see her or do you mean you’re not ready to be a mother?” I asked as I tugged her sweatpants back up as best I could.

  “I’m not ready for anything. I don’t know what to do. I have nothing to give.”

  “The child’s father?” I questioned.

  “He died a few months back. He was shot.” She started to sob. Kevin held her tight and looked at me wide eyed in disbelief.

  “The baby needs to be treated. We will take care of both of you but I need to know what your plan was.”

  “I wanted to leave the baby at a fire department or a good church-they are safe havens. I read about them online. I wouldn’t hurt her, I just couldn’t have her. I was on the bus but the driver saw that I was in labor so I had to get off. I saw a church from the bus so I got off. It’s not far from here. I didn’t want them to take me to a hospital so I just got off. I was trying to get there-to the church….but I just didn’t make it. I had to hide when I-when he chased me. He found out where I was and he has a car so he followed me.” She sobbed.

  “Chloe, is it OK if we bring the baby to the hospital for you? They’ll care for her without questions. We won’t say who you are if you don’t want.”

  “No, don’t tell them my name. My boyfriend had people after him that he owed money to and I don’t want anything to happen to the baby just ‘cause of our stuff.”

  “Kevin, please take Annora to the cab. Please pay for her fare to get to the hospital.” I told him.

  To Annora, I spoke in Spanish. “Annora, I need to know if you can bring this baby to the hospital. Tell them a young woman intended to drop the baby off at a safe haven. The baby needs to be looked over and cared for. I’m going to wrap the placenta in my jacket. There is much to be done by the doctors with her to be sure she’s alright. Can you bring her to the hospital? They need to know that her mother didn’t intend to keep her. If they know you’re asking them to be a safe haven to the child, they will know that you probably don’t have much information for them. OK?”

  “I will take care of her and get her to the hospital Miss Amelia”, Annora replied in Spanish. “I’m honored you asked for my help. Usted es su angel.”

  “Thank you Annora. I regret that this may be our last encounter. But I will be grateful for you always. And I will wish for you that you always have what you need.”

  She smiled and very gingerly took the baby wrapped in the towel and then in Kevin’s coat with my coat holding the placenta. She made little sounds with her tongue to quiet the baby.

  Kevin walked with her to the cab hurriedly and I looked over at Chloe.

  She spoke. “In some good hands she’d probably get a shot at a decent life. My grammy used to be big with her church…..” she trailed off, her head bobbing. I felt her head and it was terribly hot. She was still pouring out blood and I didn’t know if that was normal. Her legs began to shake and she seemed to be losing consciousness.

  I jumped up. Although she was about the same size I was, I picked her up to carry her where she could be cared for. I ran with her in my arms, totally unconscious. I knew the church she saw from the bus. I saw it as I ran past earlier. It was across the freeway and I’d need to cross the freeway to get there, this girl in my arms. It seemed impossible. Still, I ran. I heard Kevin call after me but I didn’t stop. He was too far behind to help me. I crossed over the expressway, this lifeless girl in my arms, and finally I saw the church. As I approached, I looked madly for the rectory. I found it and carried her to the door. I could hear Kevin catching up.

  I sat on the steps and cradled her in my arms, her body falling between my legs. I beat on the door urgently with the back of my fist.

  In half a minute, a priest appeared-concern marring his face.

  “Hello?” He said

  “Father. Please help her. She gave birth and the baby is cared for. She needs medical assistance. Her child was delivered in an unclean environment. She may have an infection or other things. She needs her name to be kept secret and I don’t know if she has insurance or family. It all happened so fast.

  Are you able to help at all?” My tone was pleading with him.

  Of course, of course. He reached to help, unsure of what to do. Should we…call an ambulance or something?

  Another priest appeared behind him to see what was happening.

  “Oh gracious. What is this?”

  “Father Paul, this child has just given birth. The baby is tended to but the mother needs assistance. We don’t know anything about her. Should we call an ambulance? Is it safe to move her?”

  I interjected, “Her pulse seems to be steady.” I didn’t realize it until then, but my fingertips had already been checking.

  The three men carried her inside and lay her on a sofa, placing a wad of towels under her-brought by a fourth man. I stayed on the steps.

  “Call Father Ben, he’ll know what to do.” I heard one priest say.

  As Father Ben was called to from the hall, Kevin spoke with the other priest. “Do you need anything further from us? I’d like to get my friend home. I’m afraid we don’t have any more information than you already have. I hate to burden you with this but we aren
’t at all involved apart from trying to help.”

  “I understand, son. If you don’t know anything further…” he shrugged and turned toward Chloe for a moment, still unconscious on the sofa with the other priest. “..I imagine we don’t need you to stay.”

  “If it’s OK”, I added. “I’d like to call to check on her in a day or two?” My voice sounded weird. Deep and heavy. Tired.

  “Of course. I’m Father Liam. Just ask for me.”

  “Thank you, Father. We hope we haven’t troubled you too much.” I said.

  “It’s my privilege and my duty to help.” he said with a smile.

  Kevin helped me up and we walked a bit, not sure where we were going. Neither of us spoke. We must have walked for a minute before it happened. I felt like I wasn’t there anymore. Like the whole thing was a dream. Then, absolute dizziness and lightheadedness overtook me. I stopped and felt my knees giving out. I reached an arm out and he grabbed it. I fell to the ground but not as hard as I should have. He lowered me, holding some of my weight with my extended arm.

  He took my face with his hand, cupping my chin in his hand to look at me. I opened my eyes and found him for a second but I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. I felt sad for his worry and concern. Even in the brief moment that I returned his gaze, his face was riddled with desperation. He pressed his cheek to mine, his hand cradled around my neck holding my head up.