Country Boy vs. City Girl

by Shanna Hatfield

  “Jenna, you are going to need to take these vitamins. It is really important that you get enough rest and stay hydrated. From what you said earlier, the new job is pretty stressful and you’re out on the road a lot. That is going to have to change. You may need to look at cutting back hours and turning in the suitcase for a desk job. You certainly won’t be able to do the traveling in the late stages of your pregnancy. As for your exhaustion, it should get better as long as you don’t push yourself and rest when you feel tired. It isn’t uncommon for expecting mothers to need naps.”

  While the doctor was talking and Josh was soaking up all the information, Jenna sat unmoving in her chair. She could hear their voices droning on around her, but she couldn’t bring herself to join in the conversation. Pregnant! How could this have happened?

  Well, she knew how it had happened, but she didn’t want it to have happened. She didn’t want to be a mother, didn’t want to quit her job, didn’t want to be forced into the role of parenting. Even admitting she did not want this baby, she knew she was having it. For her, and most certainly for Josh, there weren’t any other options. From the look of pure joy on his face, he was more than pleased with the news.

  “Thank you, doctor, this is the best news,” Josh said, unable to stop smiling. Josh picked up Jenna’s hand again and rubbed his thumb along the back of it. What had felt comforting to her minutes ago was now irritating her beyond belief.

  Josh turned to look at Jenna who sat staring out the doctor’s office window, lost in her thoughts.

  This unwanted baby was going to completely change her life. Josh’s would continue on much like it always had, but she would be the one who would have to give up her career and her dreams while her body morphed into something neither one of them would recognize.

  “Jenna, you are awfully quiet,” the doctor said, looking at her intently. “Do you have any questions?”

  “No,” Jenna finally managed to say, turning her gaze from the window back to Dr. Meliah. She didn’t think the doctor would appreciate questions like why wouldn’t you just let me have one more month of pills or how can you spend years on birth control and get pregnant two weeks after you quit taking them.

  Josh watched emotions flying across Jenna’s face and was disappointed at what he saw. He registered her anger, frustration and fear. Nothing that said she was happy or excited or even the tiniest bit pleased at the miracle they had created together. Although unplanned, it was a miracle of life and one he planned to celebrate.

  “How about you, Josh? Any questions?” Dr. Meliah asked, turning to him.

  “I was just wondering how often women get pregnant while they are taking the pill. I mean, it won’t hurt the baby will it?” Josh asked, concerned.

  “Oh, well, Jenna maybe you better answer this question.” Dr. Meliah was under the assumption that Jenna and Josh both knew she hadn’t filled her prescription for a while.

  “I ran out of pills a couple months ago, kept forgetting to make an appointment to come in for a new prescription, and here we are,” Jenna said, her tone clipped and peeved.

  “But...” Josh looked at Jenna then turned back to the doctor. “So Jenna didn’t have any medication in her system when she got pregnant?”

  “Evidently not enough to be effective. Normally, it takes a while to get pregnant once you quit taking birth control pills, but sometimes it happens quickly. Everything should be just fine Josh,” Dr. Meliah assured him. Turning back to Jenna she wrote down some notes and handed Jenna a slip of paper to give to the receptionist.

  “I’d like to have you come back in five weeks. We’ll do an ultrasound then and you will be able to listen to the baby’s heartbeat and see your first photo of the little one. You might want to wait until then to start spreading the news of your baby’s upcoming arrival. Most danger of miscarriage is past by then,” the doctor explained. “Because of your age, Jenna, I would put you in a higher risk group, especially since this is your first baby. We generally do that with anyone over thirty-five and since you are thirty-six, you definitely fall into that bracket. Make sure you start on those vitamins right away and get plenty of rest. I’m pretty sure this husband of yours will take great care of you.”

  “I plan on it, ma’am,” Josh said, wrapping his arm protectively around Jenna as they walked out the door. He wanted to jump up and click his heels, shout from the roof tops that they were finally, finally going to have a baby. He couldn’t have been any more excited if someone had told him he’d just won the lottery.

  Jenna, on the other hand, still had not said anything. It was her silence that was screaming at him as they walked to the car. Holding her door open for her, he waited until she was buckled in to lean down and kiss her. He felt her stiffen and looked into eyes filled with contempt and anger.

  Shutting her car door, he walked to the driver’s side, trying to think of a way to avoid the fight he sensed was coming. He absolutely hated conflict of any kind. After growing up with a cruel, spiteful mother who thrived on keeping everyone at odds, he avoided engaging in arguments if at all possible. It reminded him too much of the years he and Callan spent with their deranged mother while their dad worked to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. Even though his mother passed away several years ago from cancer, Josh still hadn’t fully overcome some of the trauma from his childhood.

  Driving home, he turned on the radio and remained silent. Jenna sat staring out the passenger window, clenching her hands together until they turned white before folding them angrily across her chest.

  “Do you want to go to the pharmacy before we head home or would you rather I run in after dropping you off?” Josh asked as they neared their turn-off.

  “I’d rather I wasn’t pregnant at all. But since that can’t be changed, I might as well go with you,” Jenna said through clenched teeth. Her jaw was set in a way that made Josh cringe inwardly. On what should be one of the happiest days of their married life, Jenna was going to refuse to see the blessing of this pregnancy, wallowing in pity over what she viewed as her broken dreams.

  Jenna was so angry, she felt like screaming and kicking her feet. How could she have been so stupid? She knew better. She absolutely knew the risks involved. How could she have assumed it would take months for the effects of the birth control pills to wear off before she’d need to worry about it? The only person she was angrier with than herself was Josh. How dare he be so happy about this knowing how much she didn’t want to be a mother? This was entirely his fault.

  Josh drove into town and parked outside Wal-Mart. He thought about going to the small pharmacy in town where everyone knew you by name, but decided for the sake of Jenna’s privacy, it would be better to go somewhere it was easy to blend in the crowd.

  Running around the car, he opened her door and held his hand out to her. She sent him a cold glare before refusing his hand and stalking toward the entrance. Josh grabbed a cart and followed along behind. When they got to the vitamin section, he pulled out the list the doctor had written on the prescription pad and handed it to Jenna. He watched as she read labels and carefully selected each bottle. She may not like what had happened, may be furious at him without cause, but he knew she was resigned to the fact that she was pregnant and would take care of herself for the baby’s sake.

  Pushing the cart, he followed her as she headed toward the grocery section and loaded up on fruits, vegetables, cheese, milk and lean meats. Josh couldn’t pass by a tray of brownies in the bakery and added them to the cart, which earned him another glare. If she was going to make him suffer, he would do so with chocolate in hand.

  They made it through the check-out line without running into anyone they knew. While Jenna was digging around in her purse, Josh tossed in a few magazines on parenting and pregnancy. It seemed to him that at least one of them should take some interest in the little life now growing in Jenna and figure out what they should be doing.

  When they arrived home, Jenna didn’t wait for him to open the
car door, instead hustling inside and veering into the downstairs guest bathroom. By the time he had all the sacks of groceries inside, Jenna was sitting at the counter looking worn out and defeated.

  She helped pull a few things out of bags and happened across the magazines. Staring at the covers, she slapped them on the counter, marched to the bedroom and slammed the door.

  That went well, Josh brooded as he continued putting groceries away. He just finished up when his cell phone rang. From the caller ID he knew it was Callan.

  “Hi Cal,” Josh said, trying to sound much more upbeat than he was currently feeling. He wasn’t sure how to harness joy and happiness with dismay and distress.

  “So, Josh, what did the doctor say?” Callan asked, concern evident in her tone. “Is Jenna okay?”

  “Not exactly,” Josh said, unsure what to tell his sister. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he wasn’t convinced telling her the real reason for Jenna’s fatigue was the best idea, especially in light of Jenna’s reaction to the news.

  “What’s wrong? Is it something serious?” Callan sounded on the verge of panicking. “It’s not something major, is it?”

  “It, um, is definitely major and absolutely serious, but nothing that won’t cure itself in a few months time,” Josh answered ambiguously.

  “Josh, you aren’t making a lick of sense. Let me talk to Jenna.”

  “I don’t think she’s much in the mood for talking,” Josh said with honesty.

  Releasing a sigh, he decided to be upfront with his sister or she wouldn’t give him any peace. “Jenna’s pregnant. We had no idea. She sort of forgot to mention a few things to me over the course of the last couple months, and she is less than thrilled about the whole situation. As a matter of fact, she is currently not speaking to me and I may be sleeping upstairs for a while.”

  “Oh, Josh,” Callan said, her voice wavering. “I don’t know what to say.”

  Josh knew Callan would have given just about anything to be able to have a baby of her own. Instead, his wife was pregnant and didn’t want to be. Ironic how life often makes such interesting turns and twists.

  He heard Callan take a deep breath. If he knew his sister, she was wiping tears off her cheeks and straightening her spine.

  “So, what can I do to help?” Callan asked with sincerity. “Do you want me to talk to her?”

  “Not yet,” Josh said, explaining that Jenna was only seven weeks pregnant and they wanted to keep it quiet for another month. Callan promised to keep it a secret and encouraged Josh to pray about the best way to help Jenna come to terms with the pregnancy.

  “Thanks, Callan. If I think there is anything you can do that would help, I’ll let you know,” Josh said as he disconnected the call and stood leaning against the counter, staring down the hall at the closed bedroom door. He sent up a quick prayer for God’s direction and wisdom.

  He knew Jenna needed to keep hydrated, that she needed to take her vitamins and she should probably eat something, so he put together a tray with cheese and crackers, a glass of sweet tea and some sliced melon. Carrying it to the bedroom door, he managed to hold the tray in one hand and open the door with the other. Jenna was sitting on the window seat, staring out at the backyard. She didn’t even look up when he came in.

  “I thought you might like something to eat and drink,” Josh said, setting the tray on the bed. He walked over to stand beside her and reached a hand out to touch her arm. When he did, she pulled back and turned on him with a fury.

  “How could you do this to me? You know how hard I’ve worked to be successful at my job, to build my career. And now it is over. Completely over. Life is never going to be the same again and it is all your fault!” Jenna screamed at him, ignoring the look of pain that flashed through Josh’s eyes and the betrayal that filled his face.

  She wasn’t in the mood to be rational. She wanted to lay the blame somewhere other than herself and vent her anger. Josh just happened to be the one available.

  “Jenna, this is not all my fault. You never told me you ran out of pills. That might have been a good detail to share with me, don’t you think? You never once mentioned that getting pregnant was a possibility,” Josh defended himself, taking a step back from Jenna as she jumped up off the window seat.

  “Don’t you blame me, you… you… Casanova,” Jenna yelled, wagging her index finger in his face. “You run around here all bronzed and beautiful with those rippling muscles and swarthy good looks. You know exactly how this happened, you…seducer.”

  “Babe, can we please just sit down and talk about this rationally?” Josh asked, gingerly placing his hands on her arms, hoping she would stop whipping her finger around in face.

  “Don’t you Babe me, you … man. It’s all fine and dandy for me to be pregnant because I’m the one who has to give up my career and my dreams. I’m the one whose body will never by the same. I’m the one who has to change everything. Life for you will continue business as usual,” Jenna ranted, pacing back and forth across the bedroom.

  “No, Jenna, life changed this morning when you looked at me with hate and disgust in your eyes,” Josh yelled, finally losing his temper. His eyes turned the color of cold gunmetal while a vein throbbed at his temple. He grabbed Jenna’s arms and held her still.

  “Just stop it, right now. Maybe there is a part of you that wanted to get pregnant. Did you think of that? Why else would you choose to not get your prescription? You can tell yourself whatever you want, but you can’t ignore the truth. You made this choice,” Josh continued holding onto her arms, his own jaw set in determination.

  “The fact of the matter is that we made this baby together because we love each other. You can’t deny it. You can’t change it. We are having this baby. We can do it together as a team or you can fight it every step of the way, but the end result is going to be that in seven months we are going to bring home a baby and it is never going to know that its mother didn’t want it. Not ever. Do you hear me? We will never do that to our child. Never! Is that clear?”

  “Perfectly,” Jenna said, matching him glare for glare. “Now let go of me,” she hissed, shaking off his hands and running into the bathroom before she slammed the door.

  “Very mature, Jenna. Why don’t you stamp your foot and stick out your tongue, too?” Josh yelled as he stomped back out to the kitchen. He wanted to shout, he wanted to kick or punch something. Instead he pounded his fist on the counter and sank onto a barstool. Burying his hands in his hair, he leaned his elbows on the counter and willed himself to calm down.

  A few minutes later Jenna came storming out from the bedroom, dragging her suitcase behind her. Jumping off the barstool, Josh blocked her path as she approached the kitchen.

  “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked his voice rough and edged with steel.

  “I’m leaving,” Jenna said, not making eye contact with him. “So get out of my way.”

  “Jenna, don’t do this. Don’t walk out that door,” Josh said, reaching out for her, only to have her slap his hand away.

  “Don’t touch me. Just let me go,” Jenna said hotly. Then she made the mistake of really looking at Josh and seeing the pain tearing through his face, the hurt filling his eyes. Her own eyes filled with tears. Her fury passed. Her voice softened. Regret flooded over her.

  “I… I need some time to think, Josh, please. Give me a little time to adjust to all this.”

  “Where are you going to go?” Josh asked quietly, hands folded across his chest.

  “Aunt Amelia will let me stay with them and I know she won’t ask too many questions. I’m not up to telling her I’m pregnant and I really don’t want anyone to know right now anyway,” Jenna said, walking around Josh and filling a bag with her vitamins. She pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and walked back to grab her suitcase.

  Josh picked it up and carried it out to her car without saying a word. She followed behind him. Part of her wanted him to hold her tight and tell her everything would be f
ine. The other part of her wanted to pound his chest and scream at him for ruining her life. She knew it was best for her to spend some time away from him until she got her head fully wrapped around the notion that she was truly having his baby. She knew it wasn’t his fault so until she could quit unfairly blaming him, she needed some time to herself.

  She opened her car door and dropped the bag of vitamins, water bottle and her purse on the passenger seat. Before she could climb inside, Josh engulfed her from behind in a hug. In his arms she could feel his desperation, his anxiety and his heartache. On a day they should both be celebrating, Jenna instead felt like a part of her had died. Releasing a deep sigh, she turned and wrapped her arms around Josh, holding him tight. He pulled her even closer and she heard him take several ragged breaths. He held her that way for a few minutes before pulling back and kissing her forehead.

  “Do you want me to drive you?” he asked in a voice raw with emotion.

  “I’ll be fine. I’ll call you when I get to Aunt Amelia’s,” Jenna said, biting the inside of her cheek to keep from crying. “I’m sorry Josh, I just need some time.”

  “Take all the time you need, but just remember I’m right here when you are ready to come back home,” Josh said, as she slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. “I love you, Jenna. Always have, always will.”

  Tears poured down Jenna’s face as she put a hand on Josh’s cheek. “I love you, too.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  Driving back to the city, Jenna felt her energy faltering about halfway there. Dragging her suitcase across the street and up to Phil and Amelia’s apartment took every bit of strength she had left. As she rang the bell, standing on weak knees, she hoped she would make it to their guest room before she completely collapsed.

  “Well, Jenna, dear, what are you doing?” Amelia said with a smile, before leveling a questioning glance at Jenna’s suitcase.