This was happening too fast. Her nerves were on end already. Now Donovan’s family wanted her to help decorate his house. How could she do that without remembering everything she’d lost? This brought it all to the forefront and made her want to run.
Angela wouldn’t let her. She dragged her to the tall pine tree and handed her an ornament. Cloe stared at the fragile glass ball, taken back to when she’d helped her mother decorate the tree. The excitement she felt over each memento as it went on the branches. The scent of Christmas cookies baking in the oven. Her dad reclined in his favorite chair, reading the paper and drinking coffee while advising on where each ornament should go with a proud smile. She and Lance hadn’t ever decorated together. They were both too busy.
“Are you going to put that on the tree or hold it all day?” Angela teased, nudging her.
Brought abruptly out of the past, Cloe forced a smile. Her hand shook as she hung the keepsake on a branch. The colorful lights blinked at her, beckoning her into the past.
Angela handed her a hat box filled with ornaments. “These are Donovan’s favorites. You can put those on.”
“Maybe I should go help with the tea.” Someone help her, she couldn’t do this.
Help did come. In the form of a tall, dashing Navy SEAL who must have sensed her distress. Donovan took the box from her and lifted one out. A clothes pin reindeer missing an eye.
“I made this in the third grade.” His gaze searched hers and she knew he could read her suffering because his eyes softened. Which almost did her in.
He reached up and hung it, his masculine scent drifting past her nose.
“Here, why don’t you hang this one?”
The glass bulb was painted green with glitter splashed all over it. She took it from Donovan’s hand.
He leaned down to say quietly in her ear, “It’s going to be all right, cara.”
She met his gaze and the ice that had frozen her heart a year ago cracked just a little. Another small fracture this charming man caused. That bit of warmth, of peace, in those words and in his eyes made her turn to the tree and hang the ornament next to his clothes pin reindeer.
Breathing deep, the scent of pine replacing Donovan’s sexy scent, she glanced up to see Angela watching them with brows raised and a tiny smile on her lips. Embarrassed that she’d witnessed their intimate moment, Cloe quickly grabbed another ornament and hung it.
Donovan stayed at her side until the box was empty, sharing with her the memories behind each ornament from his childhood. She didn’t realize Angela snuck away, leaving just them to decorate the tree, until it was all finished.
As she stepped back to admire their work, she realized she hadn’t had another blast to the past since Donovan came over to help. And she’d actually hummed White Christmas. Which this wasn’t. It would be a green Christmas. Part of the reason she stayed in California. To avoid the pain snow would bring to the holiday season. And here she’d been so engrossed in sharing Donovan’s memories, she’d forgotten her own.
For the first time in a year she wasn’t paralyzed by grief.
The sounds of Donovan’s family chatting and laughing as they decorated the rest of the house surrounded her. Instead of upsetting her, it filled her with nostalgia.
“Hey, none of that.”
Donovan stepped in front of her, the pad of his thumb wiping a tear off her cheek. Startled, because she hadn’t realized it was there, she reached up and touched her face. Before anyone noticed, she blinked and swiped her cheeks.
“Sorry,” she said.
“Tonight, after everyone leaves, I want to know your sad story. You can trust me with it.” With that Donovan planted a kiss on her forehead and went to join his sister who was hanging a wreath over the fireplace.
Cloe watched him order his sister off the ladder, saw her swat at him but climb down anyway. He climbed up, wreath in hand, and secured it above the mantle. Something in her chest shifted. Another tiny fracture. If she wasn’t careful, Donovan just might break the ice surrounding her heart. Opening her up for more heartache.
A cup of tea appeared in front of her. Maureen stood there, a knowing expression on her face. “You look like you could use this,” she said.
Cloe accepted the cup and took a sip of the strong brew. Cinnamon and cloves burst on her tongue. “Delicious,” she said. “Thank you.”
Maureen slid her arm through hers. “You know, this is the first Christmas Donovan has been home in time to decorate. I’m pleased you’re here to share it with us.”
“I am too.” Her voice hitched against her will. God, she was turning into a sappy mess. Christmas always had done that to her.
“You make him smile,” Maureen continued, watching her son. “It’s been a while since he has truly smiled.”
After what Jill did to him she could understand that. Very well, in fact.
Maureen stepped away. “Bíonn dea-chúram an ceann droch-luck,” she said before walking away to join Gabriella in the kitchen.
Angela came to stand beside her. “She’s right, you know.”
Cloe glanced at her. “What did she say?”
“Good care takes the head off bad luck. It’s an old Irish proverb.”
“Oh.” She really didn’t get it, but she didn’t say so.
Angela patted her arm. “Don’t worry, it’ll make sense soon if things go the way I think they’re going.”
“What way is that?”
The beautiful young woman simply smiled and walked away. Cloe huffed. What was it with the women in Donovan’s family and their knowing looks and smiles? What did they know that she didn’t?
Donovan laughed at something his sister said, the sound deep and rich, and Cloe’s stomach tightened. This was the first time she’d heard him laugh. It did all kinds of things to her. Made her want to walk over there and kiss him.
Her stomach tightened even more at the prospect. She could spend the rest of her life being kissed by that man.
Uh-oh.
Reality hit her hard. He had done more than crack the ice. He’d slipped through.
Her head spun. How did this happen? She couldn’t be falling for a Navy SEAL whose career put him in more danger than the icy roads that had taken away her family.
Tonight he wanted her to tell him everything.
And she wanted to do it.
Shocked, she took a sip of her tea, hoping it would calm the tumultuous emotions churning inside her. Because she had no idea how to handle them.
Chapter Nine
The front door opened and a group of gorgeous men filed in. Not Donovan’s brothers. Well, one of them was Shane, but the others Cloe hadn’t met before.
“Look who came over to help,” Shane announced. “Roped them into helping put up the outside lights and stuff.”
A tall, gorgeous man with sparkling blue eyes held up two six packs of beer. “We came for this, but he made us put up plastic reindeer in the front yard.”
Cloe watched a broad grin spread across Donovan’s face and her stomach tumbled. He greeted all three men with a hug and clap on the back.
“I’ll have Luciano send over a couple pizzas,” he said. “Put those beers on ice, then I’ll introduce you to my guest.”
The shaggy-haired man with the blue eyes strode into the kitchen, stopping to give Donovan’s sisters and mom a hug on his way.
When Donovan motioned to Cloe, she walked over to him.
“Cloe, these are my teammates, Brogan Steele and Jace Malloy. Guys, this is Cloe Carter.”
Teammates. No wonder these incredibly handsome men were built like athletes. All muscle. Built from training, not in the gym.
She shook hands with the taller, more serious man named Brogan, her hand disappearing completely in his. “Nice to meet you,” she said at his curt nod.
Jace, she liked immediately with his boyish good looks and friendly smile. He put her more at ease than Brogan did.
“I see the Demarcos roped you into decorating too,” Jace said.
/> She sent him a small smile as the third man pushed his way to her side, bumping Jace out of the way. His lady-killer grin gave her his number immediately. This one was a player.
“Hi,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Mikey Kreegan. So nice to meet you.”
She took his hand. “Mikey?”
His grin grew even more charming. “My nickname. Short for Michael. The guys thought it would be funny to call me ‘Mikey’ after the kid in the Life commercials from years back because I eat anything.”
The devilish glint in his eye should have had her turning to goo, as she bet it did most women, especially with that double entendre. But it did nothing for her except cement that he was one to steer clear from. She bet he had a trail of broken hearts in his wake.
“Back off, Kreegan,” Donovan said without ire.
Michael winked and let go of her hand. “Place looks great, Deuce. All festive and stuff.”
Deuce? She cast a questioning glance at Donovan. He leaned over to say quietly in her ear, “I’ll tell you later.”
His warm breath sent a shiver down her spine. Hoping no one noticed, she sipped her tea as the guys excused themselves to greet Donovan’s family, leaving her and Donovan alone.
“Tell me now,” she said, her curiosity getting the best of her.
Donovan’s eyes twinkled with amusement. “Everyone on the team has a nickname we use in the field. Mine is ‘Deuce’ because of my double heritage. According to the guys, I drink like an Irishman and cook like an Italian.”
She hadn’t seen him drink more than coffee and tea since she’d met him. It suited him more than beer and pizza with the guys. He was more dashing than that. But, as she looked around at his masculine décor, beer and pizza fit him too.
“Do all of you have nicknames?” she asked.
“The guys of Alpha squad do.”
“You’re all Alpha squad?”
He nodded.
“What are Brogan and Jace’s nicknames?”
“Brogan is ‘Doc’. He’s our team medic. Jace is ‘Chameleon’ because he can blend in anywhere without being noticed.”
She could see Jace blending in with his boyish looks and easy demeanor. Imagining Brogan as the medic was more difficult. His demeanor didn’t reassure. Maybe in a combat situation the team preferred tough and silent as opposed to comforting.
“You’ll meet the rest of the team at the Christmas Eve party.”
Her stomach dropped like a rock. The party. She’d forgotten about that. How she was going to get through that? Decorating his house hadn’t been too bad, but she felt the stress of it catching up to her. A headache poked at her temples and her nerves were a bit frayed.
“I’m going to call my brother for a couple pizzas. You don’t mind if the guys stay to watch the game, do you?”
Her heart melted a little more. The man was a gentleman to the core. “I actually have a headache brewing, so I’ll just go lie down after everyone else leaves. Thanks for asking.”
He frowned. “Any other symptoms?”
His concern cracked that ice a little more. “No. Just a long couple days.”
Angela joined them. “We’re going to get going. We agreed to cover the evening shift. Place looks good, big brother.” She hugged Donovan, then, Cloe too. That was…nice.
Like a whirlwind his other sisters and mom said their goodbyes, gave Donovan and her a hug before leaving.
Left alone with four big, handsome Navy SEALs, Cloe excused herself and went to her room. Donovan needed downtime with his buddies and she didn’t feel like dealing with any more company for today. It brought back too many painful memories.
For tonight she’d been saved from sharing those memories with Donovan.
****
“Some guy hit her while she was crossing the street?”
Donovan took a long pull of his beer. He’d told the guys Cloe’s story before they got the wrong idea as to why she was staying at his place. He nodded at Jace, who had asked the question.
“And now the bastard is harassing her?” Kreegan said. “What the fuck is his problem?”
“Good question.”
“Well, if you need our help taking care of the guy, let us know,” Jace said, grabbing another slice of pizza.
As always, Donovan could count on his teammates. Even in a civilian situation. These guys were more than teammates, they were brothers. He’d die for them. As they would him. Of that he had no doubt. They’d proven it in combat many times.
He settled back in his chair, more relaxed than he had been in a long time. Thank you, Uncle Sam, for giving them the holiday off. Until now he hadn’t realized how much he needed it.
Their team scored a touchdown and they guffawed, slapping each other on the back. Donovan played along, but his attention kept straying to his spare bedroom. He and Cloe were supposed to have their talk tonight. Surprisingly, she’d agreed to it. He’d expected more resistance. Up to now she’d been closed-mouthed and determined not to let him in.
As much as he loved his teammates, he wanted to be with Cloe.
Ah, hell.
The last time a woman had trumped hanging with his buddies he’d ended up with his heart torn out of his chest.
For Cloe, he’d do it again.
Not sure how to process that, he turned his attention back to the game and helped himself to another beer.
****
The humming of her cell phone brought Cloe out of restless sleep. Rolling over, she glanced at the clock. Midnight. Who would call her so late? Some of her clients were in different time zones, but they were always respectful of that. Maybe one of them had a crisis. That had happened a time or two. Deadlines getting changed or changes that needed to be made as soon as possible.
Grabbing her phone, she answered. “Cloe Carter.”
“You think you can hide from me?”
A cold finger snaked down her spine. She bolted upright. “Who are you?”
He laughed, and it sent another chill through her.
“I’m the one whose life you ruined.”
She ruined his life? He wasn’t the victim, she was.
“You cost me everything.”
“Look, I’m—”
“I don’t want to hear you’re sorry,” he shouted. “I want you to pay for what you cost me.”
Cloe held the phone away from her ear, then pulled it back to say, “Don’t call me again,” and hung up. She dropped the phone on the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. Tomorrow, she would change her number.
Her phone vibrated. She jumped and stifled a scream. Blocked caller. Him.
Refusing to engage, she reached over and turned her phone off. Heart pounding, she sat there a couple minutes waiting for her nerves to settle. Yeah, not going to happen. The man’s enraged voice kept echoing through her head. His threat to make her pay for something she did.
Throwing back the blankets, she hurried out of the room, praying Donovan’s friends had gone home. She needed a drink. And she knew Donovan had a well-stocked liquor cabinet.
The twinkling lights of the Christmas tree greeted her. Along with Donovan stretched out on the couch, asleep. Still in the jeans and shirt he’d worn today. His feet hung over the end, one arm supporting his head.
For a moment she stopped to admire him. Then realized he wasn’t sleeping at all, but watching her with amusement.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
He’d caught her staring. Again. What was this man doing to her? “I came out for a drink. Didn’t mean to disturb you.”
He rose to a sitting position in one fluid movement. “You didn’t disturb me.”
She nodded and headed for the kitchen, fully aware he followed her even if she didn’t hear him move.
Foregoing her need for a drink, she found a glass and filled it with water. She felt Donovan’s eyes on her.
Finally, he reached over and took the glass from her and set it on the counter. “All right, ’fess up. What’s wrong?�
��
How did he always know? No sense in trying to evade him. He’d see right through that. “I got another call.”
His expression turned dark. “When?”
“A few minutes ago.”
“What did he say?”
She drew in a deep breath. “He was angry. Shouting. Something about me ruining his life. That I would pay for what I cost him.”
Saying it out loud made it suddenly very real. She looked at Donovan. “What did I do? I didn’t do anything except cross the street.” Her voice wavered on the last word and before she knew it she was wrapped in his arms, safe and protected.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. This guy sounds like a nutjob,” Donovan said against the crown of her head.
“He sounded so mad.”
“Whatever it is he thinks you cost him has him all jacked up.”
“What if he really blames me? He didn’t sound all that stable.”
He pulled away slightly, his knuckles lifting her chin. “You know I’d never let any harm come to you, don’t you?”
She stared into his eyes, seeing nothing but determined strength there. He meant every word he said. And she trusted him. “Yes.”
His smile made her knees go weak. He was the most devastatingly handsome man she’d ever laid eyes on.
“We’ll get your number changed tomorrow.”
Brought out of her thoughts, she nodded.
“You all right to go back to bed? Early day tomorrow.”
The last thing on her mind was going to bed. Well, not true. She wanted to go to bed. Just not alone. She’d spent too many nights alone. With the holidays looming, her nightmares came more frequently. One night free of them sounded like bliss. Donovan would keep her nightmares at bay. And give her a night she’d never forget. Somehow, she knew once she crossed that line she’d never be the same.
Would she be able to separate her heart from her desires?
Was she ready to try?
Without another thought, she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. Heat flared between them, sending little electrical spikes up and down her body. Donovan took over the kiss, claiming her mouth with a hunger that drove away her fears. His arms dropped lower to cup her backside, lifting her off her feet. With a groan, she wrapped her legs around his waist, turned on by the hard length of him pressed against her.
A SEAL for Christmas (Novella) Page 9
