Surfacing

by Masters, Cate

She twisted toward him. “He could have killed you,” she said angrily.

  His smile was lopsided. “And taken the privilege from you. I know.”

  “You are an idiot.” She hid a hint of a smile by ducking her head.

  He gave a nod. “You already said that. There must be some other derogatory term you’d like to use.”

  She moved closer. “An insufferable fool.” And her voice had softened.

  He pressed his lips together. “That’s technically the same thing. Surely you can do better.”

  Her narrowed eyes moved down his body. “Careful, AJ. You will call down the wrath of a mermaid upon you.”

  “Mmm. It’s not the wrath of a mermaid I want to call down upon me. Just the opposite.” Against his will, his fingers weaved through her hair. “Did I ever tell you how beautiful you are?”

  “No. You’ve never said anything like that to me. Only to your mother.”

  At his confused look, she turned away. “I came here that night. And every night, waiting for you. Against the wishes of my parents. And your grandfather.” She settled next to him.

  “You defied your parents for me?” That had to mean something. It was enough to give him hope.

  “And after I told them you were Deirdre’s grandson, they didn’t argue quite so much.”

  Without thinking, he turned quickly. “You know my grandmother?”

  She flinched at his fast motion, but didn’t move away. “Yes. All my life.”

  He envied her that. “What’s she like? Is she all right? Would you be able to give her a message?”

  “I suppose. What message?” Her hair flicked across her shoulder as she faced him. Even in the dim light, her green eyes sparkled as they searched his own.

  He felt hypnotized, as if he were falling. “Tell her my grandfather–Walt–loves her. And it was all a terrible misunderstanding.”

  She watched his lips as he spoke. “It was?”

  Mesmerized by her, he pressed closer. “Yes. He’s been miserable without her, ever since she left.”

  Cassiopeia’s tail undulated. “He has?”

  AJ got the feeling they weren’t talking about his grandparents any longer. He spoke from his heart. “Yes. He loves her more than anything in this world. He only wants to be with her again.”

  The hope within him reflected on her face. “He does?”

  “He’s lost without her. All he does is think about her.” He slid the back of his hand along her arm.

  She allowed his touch, but looked away. “She thinks about him too.”

  Something in her tentativeness held him back. He had to earn her trust again.

  “She does?” he whispered.

  “Yes. All the other mermaids tease her when she swims into coral because she’s so preoccupied.”

  “So she feels the same way he does.” AJ edged closer.

  “Yes. She’s a lovesick fool too.” She said it as if ashamed she could let herself feel that way, but her voice softened as she added, “She wants to be with him and no one else.”

  He tilted his head, and smelled the salt of the sea in her hair. “That’s how I feel too,” he whispered.

  She tipped her head toward him, so he felt her breath as she spoke. “You do?”

  “I love you, Cassiopeia. I want to be with you, or life won’t be worth living.”

  “AJ,” she whispered, her lips tantalizingly close.

  “What?” He could barely breathe.

  “Shut up and kiss me.”

  He needed no other enticement.

  ***

  Hours had passed, or minutes. AJ couldn’t tell, except the constellations had shifted. The world had shifted. In his favor, for once.

  She nestled against him. “So when is the wedding?”

  Panic made him tense. “What wedding?”

  She looked up at him. “Didn’t your mother say she was getting married?”

  He relaxed. “Oh. Yeah. My mom. Of course.”

  She leaned away. “Who did you think I meant?”

  Oh, God, he’d messed this one up. “No one. I wasn’t…”

  She settled against his chest. “I’ll mention it to your grandmother, if you like.”

  Shit, why didn’t he think of that earlier? “Would you? I’m sure she’d want to know.”

  She made a small sound, half sigh, half mmm.

  “Cassie?” He traced circles on her shoulder, and down her arm.

  “Yes?”

  This small islet was like a no-man’s land between his world and hers. Too small a space in which to exist. “What are we going to do?”

  Her voice was small. “I don’t know.”

  “But we can’t do this forever. How are we…”

  “Shh.” She laid a finger on his lips, slid her hand along his jaw, and pulled him to her.

  ***

  Dinner dragged on. Following Mel and Sandra’s hearty welcome to his mom and Mike, AJ hardly heard what anyone said. Grandpa was unusually outgoing and jovial, so AJ was off the hook. All he could think about was getting back to the beach.

  “AJ, are you all right?” His mom laid a hand atop his.

  “Fine.” He lifted his water glass to his lips.

  Grandpa arched his brows. “I believe AJ may have an engagement of his own tonight.”

  “Yes. Sorry, I’m a bit preoccupied.” He shoved his plate away.

  Diana tilted her head. “Anyone we know?”

  “Not yet.” Maybe never.

  “Well, your mother and I were thinking of turning in early tonight anyway.” Mike winked at her. “Tomorrow’s a busy day.”

  She nudged her shoulder into his, then said to AJ, “Yes, don’t forget. Tomorrow’s the rehearsal and dinner afterwards. Your presence would be much appreciated.”

  “Wouldn’t miss it.” He edged his leg out of the booth, knee bobbing. He couldn’t wait for his grandfather. “I’ll see you then.”

  He slipped out, kissed his mom on the cheek and strode away, calling good night to Sandra and Mel.

  “See you Friday, if not before,” Mel reminded him. Another gig. Followed by another on Saturday. How would he see Cassiopeia then? He couldn’t see her during the day. If he asked her to come out afterward, she’d get in trouble for being out too late. And they’d hate him again.

  He grabbed his guitar from the house and went on to the beach. Probably another hour until dusk, but he wanted to practice his songs. The songs he wrote for her. He’d almost brought a CD, but what good would it do? Hold it up so she could see it? It would be like looking at the outside of a book and trying to know what words it held, or the outside of a treasure box, unable to see the sparkle and brilliance of its jeweled contents.

  The sun dipped into the sea, surrendering itself to the night. He leaned his arms atop the guitar.

  “AJ,” came a whisper.

  He glanced at the beach. A couple with a child running before them walked his way. “Stay down. There are people.” A man walking his dog walked toward him from the other direction.

  “I know. I’ll wait.”

  Seconds ticked by, and it seemed the people had hardly moved from their positions on the beach.

  “You could still talk to me,” she teased.

  Yeah. Talk to her while she hid. This was a normal life. “Uh, well. Oh. Tomorrow afternoon is the wedding rehearsal, so I’ll be right over there. But that’s during the day, so I won’t see you. I won’t be able to come back until late, probably too late. And the night after is the wedding, and since it’s my mom, I have to be there. So, again, can’t make it.”

  “I know. You need to be with your mom.”

  He glanced behind him. Great. Now two girls huddled together as they walked, looking his way. The stupid teeny boppers who were naïve enough to think he might be interested in them. “Shit.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “I think they’re coming over. You need to stay out of sight.”

  The girls walked like Siamese twins toward him. “D
o you take requests?” one asked.

  “No. Do you?”

  “What?” Their smiles wavered.

  He looked them up and down. Stick figures, still. Not even through puberty. “Go away. Leave me alone.”

  They edged closer. “We just wanted to hear you play,” one said. The other said, “My sister saw you at Mel’s and said you were really good.”

  Great. His own teen fan club. More loudly, he said, “No. Scram.”

  “But we—”

  He yelled, “Will you just leave me the hell alone?”

  His anger alarmed them.

  “Well screw you,” said one in her best haughty bitch tone.

  They retreated to the beach, but sat down and watched him. Probably to taunt him. Like he was only playing hard to get.

  “Did you have to be so mean?” Cassie asked.

  “They’re still there. They won’t leave. God damn.” He heaved a breath. “I wanted to play you the songs I wrote for you.”

  “So play them.”

  “With you down there? And them over there? They’ll think I’m playing for them. Then they’ll never leave.”

  “AJ.” Confusion sounded in her voice.

  “This is all wrong. I can’t see you when I want to. I wrote these kickass songs for you and now you can’t even hear them. You can’t come see me, or be with me when I’m out there playing. It sucks. Things are finally starting to work for me, you know? I went and recorded my songs, made a CD. I’ve been playing gigs and getting good feedback.” He didn’t know how to explain so she would understand. “I’m thinking about getting another band together. I’m giving my music another shot. I have to.”

  “Yes, you have to. It’s what you love.”

  He felt stupid, talking to her when he couldn’t even see her face. Trying not to move his mouth so anyone else could see. “It’s one of the things I love. I wish you could be there.”

  Her voice floated up from the sea. “I will be, if you think of me.”

  “I’m always thinking of you. You’re everywhere, with me in my heart. But I…” He made himself stop. His frustration had taken over his senses.

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. Everything’s changed, you know? Since we first met. I’ve worked to get to this point for years. And now it’s all happening for me, or starting to. I can’t walk away from it.”

  “No. Why would you walk away?”

  He looked back at the beach. The girls were still there, though now they sat with their heads together, talking.

  “How is any of this going to work? Next weekend, I have my last gig at Mel’s. It’s been going almost too well, playing there. The place is too small to hold everyone.”

  “That’s amazing. So where will you play after that?”

  “That’s just it, Cassie. I’ll have to move on to bigger places. Away from here.”

  “How far away?”

  “Maybe very far. I don’t know yet.” His frustration crawled across him like ants marching across his skin. “What the hell are we going to do? We can’t keep on like this.”

  Giving up his music wasn’t an option. Before, he’d thought maybe he could live in her world. But to do that, he would have to sacrifice every good thing about his life, except for her. He would have to give up music, step away from the promising beginning, and leave it all behind forever.

  He stood, and blew through his lips. At least he could see her now. Her silky dark hair pooled around her head. Her face said everything she wasn’t verbalizing.

  “What do you want, AJ?”

  “I don’t know.” He looked away. “I don’t know.”

  “I should go.”

  “Yeah. It’s probably best. This is getting us nowhere.”

  “Right. Nowhere but here. And you don’t want to be here, that’s obvious.”

  “I do, Cassie. But not just here. This is no way to live.”

  Her jaw jutted forward. “Bye, AJ.” She slid underwater.

  “Cassie.” He wanted to throw himself down, to catch her before she could slip away. How would that look to anyone passing by?

  “Cassie,” he repeated, and crouched at the edge. He started to say, come back. But why? Even if they were alone, she’d only stay for an hour or two, then leave. Each time he saw her, it only became harder to leave her behind. Maybe it was best to let her go.

  Grabbing his guitar, he strode away, and sand sprayed behind his steps. His heart tattered with every step away, but he could see no solution.

  When he reached the house, the radio played out back. Grandpa sat on the patio.

  He leaned his guitar against the wall, took a beer from the fridge and opened the sliding glass door. “Hey.”

  “AJ. You’re back early.”

  He pulled a block of wood from the table. “Got a spare knife?”

  Grandpa set his gaze on him. “What’s wrong.”

  “Everything.” He plopped onto the chair. “You were right. I should have seen it.”

  “I’ve been known to be wrong,” Grandpa offered.

  “No. There’s no way it can work.” AJ gulped his beer.

  “Don’t give up hope, son.”

  “Why not? You have, haven’t you?” Then he remembered. He hadn’t asked Cassie about his grandmother. What she’d said about the wedding.

  His grandfather didn’t flinch under AJ’s assault. Maybe he recognized the pain he was in, how he wanted to divert the pain by wounding someone else. “Don’t repeat an old fool’s mistakes.”

  AJ set the block down, tried to work his mouth to say, I’m sorry.

  Grandpa stood, his hand rested on AJ’s back as he passed, and went inside, leaving AJ with only Elvis crooning, Love me tender.

  He tilted the beer can to his lips, and closed his eyes. When Elvis sang, I love you, AJ bit his lip as Elvis crooned that he always would.

  AJ already knew his love for Cassie would always be part of him. It didn’t change a thing.

  ***

  “AJ, did you pick up your suit?” Grandpa called from the bathroom.

  “Yes, Grandpa. And your tux too.” He laid on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

  “Thank you.”

  AJ pushed himself up. “Are you about done? I need a shower yet.”

  The bathroom door swung open, and a bathrobed Grandpa rushed out. “You better hurry, or we’ll be late. They’ll be here in less than an hour.”

  AJ tried to infuse his voice with enthusiasm. “OK.” The last place he wanted to go was the beach. He sang as he showered and dressed, trying to block his own thoughts out with song lyrics, but every song that came to mind echoed his feelings.

  By the time Diana and Mike arrived, AJ wished he were drunk so he could get through the rehearsal and dinner. The dinner. He’d make up for lost time then.

  His mom touched his cheek. “You look so different.”

  “Different how?”

  Her gaze swept over him, her voice dreamy. “I don’t know. More grown up, I suppose. You’ve been through so much these past few months.”

  He ducked his head. More than she knew.

  “I’m going to freshen up.” She occupied the bathroom for twenty minutes.

  Grandpa and Mike sat on opposite ends of the sofa, staring out at nothing as they made nonsensical small talk.

  AJ could stand no more. He strode to the door and knocked. “Almost ready, Mom?”

  “In a minute.” Her tone sounded less than gracious.

  He backed away, and went to the living room. “She’ll be out in a minute.”

  Grandpa scowled at his wristwatch. “That’s what she said twenty minutes ago.”

  A smile flitted across Mike’s face. “She’s a little nervous.”

  “Perfectly understandable. It is her first wedding.” In an instant, Grandpa’s expression changed from pleasant to panic as he apparently realized his faux pas. “Can I get you anything else while we wait?”

  “No, thank you.” Mike smoothed the hem of his Mia
mi Vice powder blue linen blazer.

  They’d run out of things to talk about nineteen minutes ago.

  AJ walked to the fridge, opened the door, shut it again. The only thing he needed was to get this night over with. “So is the minister coming here to the house?”

  “She’s meeting us there,” Mike said, grateful for the verbal exchange.

  “She?” Grandpa leaned away suddenly, his eyes wide under furrowed brows.

  Mike’s gaze shifted from AJ to Grandpa. “Yes. Minister Sheila Lowry. She flew down from New Jersey.”

  Grandpa’s face contorted in a half-squint, half-wince. “Does… she have jurisdiction here?”

  Mike shrugged, and looked lost. He apparently hadn’t thought to ask. “I suppose she has jurisdiction everywhere.”

  “Yes. I suppose.” Grandpa’s tone indicated he was humoring him.

  Mike looked a little nervous himself, although this was his second marriage. Maybe he wanted this one to stick.

  Finally, Diana appeared, smoothing her calf-length dress. “All ready?” she asked, as if she had been waiting for them.

  Mike stood and kissed her cheek. “You look beautiful. Let’s go.”

  “Should I drive?” Grandpa asked. “Or are we walking?”

  Her eyes bright, Diana personified optimism. “Let’s walk. It’s a nice day.”

  Nice and hot. But AJ fell in line behind Grandpa without pointing that out.

  By the time they reached the spot, the only reason they weren’t drenched in sweat was because the wind whipped against them, assaulting them with foam and grains of sand.

  “Oh, no. I hope it isn’t like this tomorrow.” Diana’s cell rang, and she fished it from her purse. Her tone sounded heavy with disappointment as she spoke.

  Switching it off, she said, “Sheila’s about fifteen minutes away yet.” She glanced up and down the beach. “OK. Let’s figure out, exactly, where everything will be.”

  She and Mike walked down the beach and back up.

  “Why don’t you mark it off somehow?” Grandpa suggested.

  AJ squinted against the wind. “Do you want me to look for a stick? You could draw lines in the sand.”

  Diana held a hand to her face. “Ow. I think I have sand in my eye.”