by Dyanne Davis
He leaned into his chair and gave her a smile. “You do have to admit that the women here in this country do not have the same ideas about sex as the women in Pakistan.”
“You don’t know that. Probably no one ever asked the women in Pakistan what their ideas are. Maybe you’ve kept them under your thumb and not allowed them a choice.”
Hamid laughed.
“What’s so funny?”
“I will admit things in Pakistan and things in your country are different. We are not at the same place, but there was a time that things were done differently in the United States. Women were more under the control of men here than you might know.” He laughed again as she looked at him.
“I’ve studied your history, the dress, for instance, during the Civil War times most especially. I know the type of clothing worn, the traditions, and the customs. Do you, Heaven? Would you wear the clothing the women were made to wear then?”
This time Heaven laughed. “Hamid, I’m sure the books you got this information from didn’t have anything in them about black people or their customs and manner of dress. During that time, we wore what we could. As for customs, we had one. Try to stay alive.” She took a bite of the pita bread. “Got anything else?”
“What road do you want to travel down?”
“Whichever one you want to travel, I’m game.” She pushed her chair back, readying herself.
“Heaven, this is not a battle. I invited you to dinner. I know what you’re saying, and I will concede that point. I was only stating that some of the women in this country used to dress a lot more modestly than they do now. And since they couldn’t show skin, I’m sure they didn’t run and jump into bed with men.”
Heaven stared at Hamid. “Isn’t that what you’re thinking about now, Hamid, going to bed with me, I mean?”
“I’m a man.”
“That’s your answer for everything, isn’t it? That’s one of the things that really annoys me about you.”
“Would you like me to tell you the things about you that annoy me?” He quirked a brow upward, looking at her in a cockeyed manner.
“Go ahead.”
“I’m annoyed that you’re letting my appetizers go to waste. Eat up, Heaven, I will not join you in fighting.” With that, Hamid got up and went into the kitchen to check on the food, increasing the flame underneath the shrimp dish. Within moments, he was ladling the piping hot food into bowls and serving it to Heaven. He smiled. Every time she tasted something, the look of pleasure in her eyes was worth adjusting the spices to her taste buds.
“Heaven, who hurt you?” He waited. She wasn’t going to tell him.
“Brandon.”
“Do you still love him?”
“I’m still disappointed in him. We had made plans for years.”
“About your future?”
“Yes, but that no longer matters. I now have my own plans.”
He wondered what her plans were, but wondering was not getting her to tell him. He needed to know what her future held, because he was sure it would have an impact on his own. “Tell me about your plans, please.”
Again, he waited. When she didn’t respond, he pulled his chair closer to her and saw her surprise.
“I’m going to open a medical registry for nurses, at least to start, and then I may include others. I’m even hoping to get jobs for doctors.” Heaven saw the interest in Hamid’s eyes. “It’s a dream of mine. Now what’s yours?”
“That’s an awfully quick explanation for a dream. There has to be more.”
“That’s enough for now.”
“Is that why you need to work so hard? To make money for your dreams?” He looked into her eyes and smiled.
“Hamid, it was your idea to pay me, not mine.”
“I wasn’t trying to offend you, Heaven. And by the way, you offend easily.”
“Maybe I offend easily because something offending is always coming out of your mouth.”
“Hmmmm.” Hamid smiled at her. “I will have to watch what I say, won’t I? Now eat up, Heaven, there is plenty.”
“I thought you didn’t have enough food for Sassa to stay.”
“No one has enough food for Sassa to stay.” They laughed, and he smiled again. “I wanted this dinner for the two us. I wanted us to know more about each other. You know, things that are more personal. I wanted you to hear my taste in music. I finally figured out why it’s called soul music.”
Heaven wanted to hear this explanation.
“You don’t believe me,” Hamid laughed. “I can tell by the look in your eyes. Okay, here goes. The words in soul music touch your soul; you can feel them down to the marrow of your being.”
Okay, Heaven thought, Hamid may not be a brother, but his game was sure as heck tight. “Have you found a song that’s touched your soul?”
“Yes,” Hamid answered softly. “But I don’t know if you want to hear it.”
“Please go ahead.” And she meant it; she wanted to know what words were putting that misty look in his eyes. Damn Marvin Gaye. It wouldn’t matter which song he sang; they would all do something to some part of your body.
Looking at her, Hamid crooned the words to “‘Let’s Get It On,’” in his accented voice.
As Heaven listened, she tried to imagine Marvin Gaye singing the words to her. Then she met Hamid’s eyes and shivered at what she saw there. Marvin had never looked at her that way; actually, he’d never looked at her at all.
“Heaven, dance with me.”
Heaven melted but went into Hamid’s arms. His all-consuming maleness made her weak. His arm encircled her and his fingers gently massaged her where they landed on her body. Her head found it’s way to his chest.
Hamid sang into her ear, his breath hot on her cheeks, the lyrics and melody burning a home in her soul. Hamid was right; this was soul music at its finest.
She understood only too well what Hamid was trying to say to her. A tremor of desire snaked its way through her body, crawling over her spine and dancing on her nerve endings. Hamid pulled her in tighter and she felt his hardness.
It was the song, she thought, that darn song. She felt her body moving against Hamid’s as his hand went below her waist, not quite on her butt but almost. He didn’t move for a second. He was asking silently for permission to touch her more intimately. She knew and she wanted it.
There really was nothing wrong with it, Heaven thought, except she still remembered their earlier conversation. He wanted to kiss her and she wanted him to. What would he think of her if she caved? More than likely, he wanted what he couldn’t have, and for the moment, she was it.
Heaven danced with Hamid until Marvin Gaye’s song “Sexual Healing” came on, and then she marched over and changed the disc. Enough was enough.
“Hamid, you didn’t tell me your plans. What are they?” When he smiled, she knew he was aware of her ploy but it didn’t matter. She went to the living room and sat in a chair that was only big enough for one. “Tell me your plans.”
“I’m going to return home and open up a practice.”
“Will that be soon?” Heaven asked, feeling the pain of his leaving sharply. She didn’t want to think of Hamid leaving.
“There are too many doctors in this country. My country needs good doctors. Too many Pakistanis come here to go to school to become doctors, receive their license to practice, and make America their home. I will return home and take care of people.”
“Aren’t there medical schools in Pakistan?”
“Of course there are.”
“So why do so many come to America?”
Hamid smiled. “I have met many Americans that have studied abroad.”
“I don’t doubt it, but that wasn’t the question.”
“Are you looking for me to say that the medical schools here are superior, Heaven?” He smiled at her before continuing with his answer. “Our schools are very good. So are the schools in England and America. Becoming licensed in America is a coveted prize.”
Again, Hamid smiled at Heaven, not adding that it was even more so for the extremely wealthy. They’d never spoken of his worth. Because he drove a modest car most people wrongly assumed that he was a man of modest means. Heaven was good at making assumptions. He had no idea how she would react if she knew he was wealthy.
“How much longer will you remain in this country?”
“I have to stay long enough to pass the licensing exam; that will be less than a year,” he answered. “But I can come back for visits.”
“Good, I would love to see you come back. I hope we can stay friends. You know, letters, phone calls, that sort of thing.”
“Why don’t we stop playing games, Heaven? I’m attracted to you.”
He could have eased into this slowly, Heaven thought. Now there was no way she could play coy and pretend she didn’t know what he meant.
“Heaven, we’re not children. I’ve seen the desire for me in your eyes. Tell me you’re not attracted to me.”
“Hamid, there are many things I might like the looks of, but things that are bad for me I try my best to avoid.”
“And you think I would be bad for you?”
“Yes.”
“How about another dance?”
Heaven grinned. “Right. I think I should go now before we get into trouble.”
She opened the door to leave but Hamid put his hand over hers to stop her. “I will walk you downstairs,” he said.
That she should have expected; he was a gentleman. That was one of the things she liked about him. For once, she would not protest. She would not remind him that she could take care of herself. Heaven was just grateful he’d not asked again to join her karate class. That alone would be reason enough to end their friendship.
At the car, Heaven gave Hamid a hug, leaning into him, feeling dwarfed by his size and hating that he was looking at her as though she were some tiny doll that he wanted to pick up and protect. She should be used to it; men were always treating her like a helpless damsel until she had to show them otherwise. Even Brandon, who’d known her for most of her life, had treated her that way. And when she’d proven she was tough, he’d told her he didn’t worry about hurting her because she could handle it. He’d never known about the sea of tears she’d cried.
“Are you still going to the wedding with me?” Hamid asked, bending his head to peer in her window.
“Yes. I never go back on my word.” She tilted her head and gave him a meaningful glance. “When I say something, Hamid, I stick by it.” She turned her key in the ignition. Now if she could only learn to stop saying things before she thought, maybe there wouldn’t be so many decisions she regretted.
* * *
In no time at all Heaven made headway with her business. Her accountant convinced her that it would be best to start small in her home and expand after she got off the ground. It was the exact opposite of what Heaven had planned, but in the end she’d seen the wisdom in his words and had yielded.
What she needed was more jobs. She’d lined up several leads simply from having worked for so many different hospitals and private families in the last three years. She used every contact she had. Her lawyer had checked that she did not have a competitor’s clause in her contract with the agency. She was simply a private agent, and for whatever reason, no agency thought had been given to nurses striking out on their own.
But she had, and she already had a staff of ten nurses ready, willing, and able to handle the jobs when Heaven got them. Even though she’d not received many positive responses she did have some jobs. But Heaven wouldn’t give up. She would wait patiently.
Right now, her agency wasn’t receiving enough jobs for her not to work for her competitors. When things were as she wanted them Heaven’s primary focus would be to manage her staff from her home office being available to put out brushfires as need. But that time wasn’t now. Right now, she was still working as many double shifts as she could through other agencies, socking away the money for her business expenses.
Heaven now felt guilty taking money from Hamid, but they did have their business arrangement and his money was as good as any for building her nest egg.
* * *
Heaven was waiting for Hamid to arrive. This would be the first Muslim wedding she’d attended. She hated admitting it but she didn’t want to embarrass Hamid by not dressing in a manner that was acceptable by the mosque. She wanted to ask him questions beforehand but refused to. She was determined to dress the same way she always did, and if Hamid didn’t like it, tough.
She couldn’t help pacing as she waited for her bell to ring. When it did, instead of buzzing Hamid up, she walked down to meet him. She caught a glimpse of him peeping through the mirrored entranceway.
“Heaven, you look beautiful.”
“Thanks.” Heaven refrained from asking him if what she was wearing was appropriate. She’d vowed to herself she would not change clothes or make any concessions. If she asked about her clothing he’d think she was willing to change if he wanted her to.
When they stood outside, she took several steps back and gave him a good once-over. She couldn’t help the smile of approval. He had on a dashiki type dark gray tuxedo, and tonight his curly locks were freed from his usual rubber band. What a disgrace, Heaven thought, to ever bind his hair. He was gorgeous.
“You don’t look too shabby,” she finally said and he laughed, telling Heaven that he’d undoubtedly seen the look of admiration in her eyes.
Hamid introduced Heaven to every single person in the room, holding her hand as he did so, and Heaven couldn’t help noticing that he didn’t use the word friend even once. Many of the people seemed to already know her name and didn’t seem surprised that she was there.
Heaven and Hamid sat at a table finally, and Heaven looked around at the women. She had to admit she liked the colorful dresses the women wore, and the gold jewelry added a lot.
“What do you think of this?” Hamid whispered in her ear.
She took one more look around. “I love the dresses the women are wearing; they’re all so beautiful.” She caught his smirk. “What?” she said.
“Of course you would like them. They’re very similar to the dress of your people.”
“Come again?” Heaven looked at Hamid as if he’d lost his mind.
“I’m talking Africa, Heaven, not America. I knew you would fit in.”
The undeniable hum of a microphone brought their attention to the stage, preventing Heaven from answering Hamid. She was surprised that the voice was speaking in English and even more surprised when the man officiating the wedding spoke entirely in English. She looked around the room. There were maybe two or three more Americans there. She wouldn’t have thought he would do an entire service in English for so few, but here he was doing it. So she settled in to listen.
Heaven listened to him tell both the husband and wife to respect and love each other. He even admonished them, telling them there would be days of disagreement which they could get through only by showing respect for each other.
Her eyes slid to Hamid and she smiled, wondering if he’d been watching her the entire time. They fought, but she respected him. He was smart, funny, and considerate. Hamid reached out, took her hand, and rubbed his thumb across her hand.
“We’re not as different as you might think, Heaven. Someday you will have to let go of your pain and start over again. Brother Marvin knew that. It’s okay to love me.”
Heaven smiled, almost laughed, and got up. “I’m going to get some food.”
“It might be a bit spicy,” he said, coming behind her. “I’ll tell you what things are less so, but you could just try a taste of everything. It would be the best way.”
Hamid shook his head as he followed Heaven. He caught the eye of Sassa, who was grinning at him like a fool. He’d had word from an uncle and would be going to Pakistan in three months to get married to a girl he didn’t even know, a first cousin. But Sassa was happy.
Hamid swallo
wed. He wanted to fulfill his own destiny, to have the love that made him quiver, that gave him wet dreams and had him hard every time he thought of how it could be. He wanted Heaven.
He watched her go through the buffet line, not putting anything on her plate except salad. “Heaven, even if you don’t eat, it will save you trouble to just put it on the plate. If you don’t, people will continue to try to get you to eat.”
Heaven turned back to look at him. “No one can make me do anything I don’t want.”
Hamid shook his head. No, but they certainly would try. Twenty minutes and ten people later Hamid smiled at Heaven, walked up to the buffet table and returned with a plate with little more than sauce and a couple of tiny slivers of meat.
He was rewarded when Heaven grinned at him. Oh yes, he was falling hard for her, he thought, as he looked at her white teeth, which made her smile even more beautiful. He looked over at the bride and groom, Eunice and Majabeen, and saw the glow on their faces. He wanted that, he wanted Heaven. And whether she would admit it or not, he believed Heaven wanted it too. He would have to find a way to convince her of that.
He watched how easily Heaven blended in with the people in the mosque. She was one of them. He could see her now dressed in traditional garb, but the twists making her stand out. He smiled at Heaven. He’d gotten used to her hair; it was a part of her.
“Why are you staring at me like that, Hamid?”
Heaven touched the napkin to the corner of her mouth. “Do I have something on my face?” He grinned and she grinned back.
“You’re so beautiful.”
“And that’s why you’re staring?”
“That, and the vision I just had of you dressed in a sari with your twists,” he smiled. “I think you’ll like Pakistan, Heaven.”
“I have no plans to go to Pakistan.”
“Plans change.” He kissed her hand before staring into her eyes. “Where a husband reside, Heaven, the wife must reside also.”
“Hamid?”
“Don’t look so afraid. You must learn to compromise. It will take that to make a marriage work.”
