“We have one more announcement.” Mom beamed at Stan. She pulled a little piece of paper out of her purse. It looked like a piece of black-and-white film. “We had an ultrasound today. The baby looks perfect—here’s a picture. There are the little feet. Here’s a little hand.” She pointed at the picture with the tine of her fork.
Wow. Lilly stared at the human being inside her mother—her baby brother or sister. She couldn’t take her eyes off the picture.
Grams asked, “Hey, do you know the sex?”
Lilly dropped the photo and waited. Was that even possible?
Mom grinned at Stan. “You tell them.”
His eyes welled up with tears, and he puffed up with pride. “It’s a boy. I’m finally going to have a son.”
Lilly deflated like a soccer ball that had been kicked hard too many times. She let herself imagine that love was developing, that they were going to be a real family. But this whole thing—the dating, the car—was just another way, a seemingly happy way, for Stan to get her out of the house and away from his perfect little family with his new son. Why hadn’t she seen it sooner? She’d fallen for it because she’d hoped for it.
Her eyes pleaded with Jason.
He nodded and winked at her—assuring her that he’d stay right by her side. What did it matter anyway? All she’d really wanted was to spend more time with Jason—looked like she got her wish. No way she’d rock the boat by confronting Stan’s true motives.
She’d do what she did best—make herself invisible.
Chapter 7
DATE NIGHT
Lilly stared at her blank cell phone screen. What was the worst that could happen? Rejection? Mocking, humiliating laughter? Would it be worse to return to Dr. Shepherd having failed to do her homework assignment? She was supposed to do it before the end of January but was quickly running out of time. Expecting both reactions, Lilly picked up the phone and reached out a finger for the buttons.
No! She dropped her phone, covered it with a pillow as though it might bite, and jumped off her bed. She paced the length of her room, twisting a lock of her hair around her fingers. This was getting her nowhere. She had to make the call—dragging it out just made it worse. Reaching her hand under the pillow, Lilly picked up the phone and punched in the numbers before she could change her mind.
A familiar voice answered. “Hello?”
Samantha Pruitt. It had been at least a year since they’d spoken on the phone. Lilly saw her in the halls at school from time to time, but they seldom spoke anymore.
“Hello?” Samantha’s insistent voice snapped Lilly from her thoughts.
“Um … hello? Sam?” Not off to the best start.
“Yes, this is she. Who’s this?”
“It’s Lilly.” She waited.
Silence buzzed through the phone lines. “What do you want?” Sam sounded aloof, uninterested.
Lilly cleared her throat. “Um, I … well … here’s the thing…. Things have changed a little bit for me, and I need to tell you the truth about some stuff. I feel bad for how things are with us, and I wanted to tell you I’m sorry and explain myself.”
“Okaaaay?” Sam sounded doubtful but willing to listen—maybe.
Lilly forced herself to open up. “Listen, it’s my fault I never let you see the truth about my home life, but things were pretty awful. I didn’t want you to come over and have to see or hear my mom and Stan fighting—which they did all the time. So I never invited you here. I’m sure it made you feel bad that I hardly ever had you over or even let you come in. Eventually, I got so sick of trying to come up with excuses and worrying about it that I pulled away completely.”
“Is that the truth?” Sam sounded hopeful. “I mean, I don’t want that to be the truth, because that would be awful, but at least it would mean that I …”
“That you didn’t do anything wrong.” Lilly sighed. “Yes, it’s the truth, and no, you didn’t do a thing wrong. I’m really sorry.”
“Why are you telling me this now, though? What happened?”
Lilly thought about that for a moment. “Umm … things have kind of changed around here. There’ve been no fights for a couple of months. We’re going for counseling, and Mom’s going to have a baby in a few months. I guess I feel ready to try to bring someone else in.” Lilly hesitated. “I want that someone to be you.”
“Wow. I’m really glad. I missed you a lot. I never could understand what I did to push you away. I thought maybe it was because of Jason, but that didn’t seem likely since the three of us had always been friends. Although, he … Oh, never mind.”
Hmm. What was she about to say about Jason? No, don’t ask. Back to the point of the call. “Hey, want to continue this conversation over a pizza and movie over here?” Lilly’s voice rose with hope.
“Really?” Samantha’s voice lifted, too. “I’d love to. What time?”
“Whenever you can make it. I’ll be here.”
“Give me about twenty minutes.” Sam’s words rushed out; then the line went dead.
Lilly smiled and turned off the display on her phone. Surveying her room in a panic, she threw some laundry into the hamper and scurried to fold the bedcovers. Good enough. She lay back on her bed and took a deep breath. A few seconds later, she felt her cell phone vibrate. Had to be Jason.
“Hey, Jase, what’s up?”
“Hi cutie. What are you doing?”
“You’ll never believe it. I just got off the phone with Samantha Pruitt. I called her because … well, to apologize.” Lilly stumbled over her words.
He listened silently until she finished. “Well, I guess it’s okay as long as you don’t expect to give her our date night.”
“What do you mean?” He guessed it was okay?
“You get one night out each weekend, right? I hope you’re not going to want to go out with Sam now.”
“I don’t get why you’re saying that. And it’s not that I only get one night out—I get one date night. There’s a big difference.” Why was he acting like that? She’d never seen this possessive side before.
“Oh, that’s true.” Jason’s voice perked up. “So maybe you could get out an extra night if you tell them you’re going out with Sam. Now that’s a good plan.”
“That’s not what I … oh, whatever. It’ll be fine.” Lilly didn’t want to argue with Jason of all people.
“So we’re still on for tomorrow night?”
Lilly breathed a sigh of relief that his mood had returned to his normal teasing. “Of course, silly. I can’t wait.” She thought she saw headlights in the driveway and walked to her window to see. Yep. Sam had arrived. “I gotta go, Jase. Sam’s here.”
“Okay. Have fun. Think about me. Talk about me—good stuff only.”
“Always.”
“Love you, Lilly.”
“Love you, too.”
Lilly had bounded halfway down the stairs when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it before Stan could get to it. She threw it open to see her old friend on the other side. With a big grin, Lilly reached out and hugged her. They clung to each other for a few moments. “I missed you!” they said at the same time, then laughed.
“Okay. Time to move on. Let bygones be bygones and all that.” Sam peered over Lilly’s shoulder into the house. “Show me around.”
“Bye, Mom.” Lilly gave her mom a quick kiss and reached for the door handle but didn’t turn it. She scrunched her eyes together and squared her shoulders with resolve. “Bye, Stan.” Dr. Shepherd would have been proud that she included Stan. Lilly hurried through the door, skipped down the porch steps, and slid into Jason’s car.
“Hey, cutie. You look great.” Jason’s eyes roved up and down her body. “C’mere.” He pulled her close for a kiss.
Lilly gave him a quick peck then pulled away and darted a nervous glance at the upstairs windows. “So, where’re we going?” She pressed herself against the door, crossed her legs, and played with the frayed edges of her denim skirt.
“Well, since we haven’t gotten out alone in forever, I thought we’d go to dinner and talk. Then maybe go for a drive. Sound okay?” Jason turned to look over his shoulder as he reversed out of the driveway. Could he be nervous, too?
“Sounds great. Romantic.” Lilly touched the back of her hand to her flaming cheek. She knew her face must be turning pink. They rode in silence until they got out into traffic near the restaurants. Her stomach churned. Why did she feel so jittery? She wiped her clammy hands on her skirt and exhaled deeply, leaving a smoky white cloud on the cold window.
Jason flipped the turn signal on and turned into Olive Garden.
“Oh goody! I hoped we’d go here.” Lilly beamed at him and relaxed her shoulders. It promised to be a nice night.
After dinner Jason held her hand as they walked through the parking lot toward the car. He pulled her to a stop at the passenger door, reached around her, and pulled the door open. As Lilly lifted her foot to step in, Jason grabbedher hand a little tighter and pulled her close. He leaned forward and softly kissed her lips as the snow fell around them.
A few flakes fell onto Lilly’s cheek, but she didn’t move to brush them off. Jason must have seen them, because he leaned his head to the side and kissed her cheek right where they had landed. Lilly giggled, but Jason silenced her with another kiss—this one more insistent. For a second, she pulled back a tiny bit as warning bells about Jason’s intentions rang in her mind; but tired of listening to them, she pushed them away and relaxed in Jason’s embrace. It felt like home.
After a few minutes of standing in the snowy parking lot, they both started to shiver. Jason pulled away and gazed into Lilly’s eyes. “Why don’t we get in the car, drive for a few minutes to warm up, and then find a place to … um … talk?”
Lilly didn’t trust herself to speak. She climbed into the car in silent agreement. Her thoughts went wild. What did Jason want from her? Should she stop him? Did she even want to? She’d never been that close to a boy, but she knew all too well that Jason had had other girlfriends. Did that mean he’d kissed them likethat before? Ewww. Lilly didn’t want to have a string of boyfriends in her past. But Jason, being a boy, probably didn’t feel that way. That was normal, right? Plus, they were in love—so his past shouldn’t matter. Should it?
After the car had been running for a few minutes, Jason flipped the heater to full blast. It blew out freezing cold air for a few seconds but quickly warmed up. “How about we pull over here?” Jason turned into the parking lot of a deserted playground, right behind the row of tennis courts. “We’ll leave the car running.” He reached over and switched the car to defrost, then pulled off his gloves and laid them on the dashboard.
Lilly stared out the window at the falling snow, afraid to move. What should she do—let him take the lead or reach out for him? Should she demand he take her home or relax and enjoy the moment? Already startled by her own physical reaction to Jason’s touch, she decided to wait and see what else he had in mind.
Jason took one of her hands and carefully pulled the glove off, then reached for the other one. “Your fingers are still cold.” He kissed each of her fingertips, sending electric shocks through her entire body. Pulling her closer to him, he tucked her hands into the warmth of his jacket.
She snuggled close and murmured a comfortable sigh. So strange how she could be so nervous one minute and then cozy right up to him the next.
They sat still for a few minutes, not moving. Lilly could feel the beating of Jason’s heart beneath her hand. The beating got faster like a crescendo before a cymbal crash. He clutched her shoulder and leaned across the console for a long kiss. Lilly’s stomach flip-flopped, and her own heart started pounding out of her chest. His kisses grew more intense. He moved his body so that more of them touched—the console between them jabbed her in the ribs.
“Why don’t we move to the backseat where we can be more comfortable?” Jason’s breath came out in short pants.
Lilly glanced outside the steamy windows. “What if someone comes?” What if things got too heated? Would she be able to control him? Herself?
“It’s not illegal to be in the backseat. Come on.” He climbed over the seats and reached up to help her.
Lilly took a deep breath and put one hand on each of the front seats as she tried to make the transition in her denim skirt. “Um, could you look away for a second? I don’t think I can do this and keep my dignity if you’re watching.”
Jason covered his eyes with his hand but separated his fingers to look through them.
Lilly laughed. “Come on, Jase. I’m serious.”
“Okay. Okay.” Jason turned his body and faced out the side window while Lilly got herself situated in the backseat beside him.
“There. I’m all set.” Whatever that meant. Lilly’s heart beat wildly, and her mind raced. What would happen next?
Jason turned around to face her and didn’t waste a second. He scooted over and leaned forward so half of his body lay on top of her. His weight pressed her against the door. The handle jabbed her in the back of the head, her neck bent at an odd angle.
She felt his warm breath on her cheek as he leaned in to kiss her. His lips pressed tightly against hers, and she sensed him trying to part her lips.
No. Too much. “Jason.” She struggled to speak but couldn’t move her head back any farther against the window. She put her hands on his shoulders and gently pushed him up and away.
“Jason. That’s enough for me tonight. I think I should go home.”
His breath puffed in short gasps, and he looked perplexed. “What? What did I do?” He frowned and ran his hand through his mussed-up hair.
“Oh, you didn’t do anything wrong. This”—she gestured at the car and the steamy windows—”is all new to me. I need to take things slow.”
“Okay. I didn’t mean to push you.” He sat up and adjusted his sweater. He opened the door and climbed out into the cold air where he stood for a few moments longer than Lilly thought necessary. Probably needed some fresh air to clear his head.
While he stood outside the car, Lilly took the opportunity to climb into the front seat in privacy. Once she settled in her seat, since Jason hadn’t gotten back into the car, she leaned over and put the driver’s window down. “You okay?”
“Yeah, sure. Just getting some air. I’ll be right there.”
Lilly put the window up, sure she’d upset him. Had she acted like a child? Maybe she should have gone on with things for a little longer. Physical stuff was kind of inevitable between them—probably sooner rather than later. Did it have to be, though? What if she never felt comfortable with what Jason seemed to want? Would she lose him? Visions of a future without Jason in it assailed her thoughts and made her shudder. She couldn’t let that happen.
No matter what.
Chapter 8
DIVERSIONS
Heart beating wildly, flames sizzling on her cheeks, Lilly jumped up, knocking Jason to the concrete floor. Things on the couch here in his basement were getting a little too heated—much as they had in the car last week.
“I’ll be right back.” She scurried to the nearby bathroom. A quick glance backward revealed a bewildered-looking Jason picking himself up off the floor.
Lilly pulled the bathroom door closed behind her and locked it as quietly as she could. She hurried to the far wall and flipped the window lock. As soon as she started to crank the window open, she found relief. The cold air rushed in and enveloped her still burning cheeks with as much intensity as the heat hadconsumed her. Lilly breathed deeply, hoping the fresh air would help her regain her composure.
What had happened back there on the couch? What were those feelings that coursed through her bloodstream? It was like an out-of-body experience. Lilly had felt completely out of control—almost like watching a film of two unknown people. She didn’t like that feeling one bit—yet she did. It scared her … but was Jason the one? If so, that changed everything—didn’t it?
Still a bit tre
mbly, she took one more deep breath and closed the window. She needed to get a handle on herself fast. Splashing her face with cool water, she tried to hum a silly song to take her mind off what had just happened. Feeling better, she turned and flushed the toilet so Jason wouldn’t wonder what she’d been doing in there. After a quick shake of her hair and a last glance in the mirror, she pasted on a carefree grin—at least she hoped it looked carefree. Deep breath. She only needed to stay in control. That should be easy enough.
Lilly returned to the rec room where Jason had turned the television on. “Whatcha watchin’?” She plopped down on the sofa, crossing her legs under her body, and leaned against the armrest, as far from Jason’s end of the couch as she could get.
“C’mere, silly.” Jason grabbed her hand and pulled her over to him.
She slid over and rested her cheek against Jason’s chest and pulled her feet up on the couch next to her. Lily promised herself she wouldn’t let things get heated again—his parents were due home soon anyway. He laid his heavy arm across her shoulder and down the length of her body. He grabbed her hand and squeezed softly. Now that she could handle. Sighing, she snuggled in and closed her eyes, breathing in the musky scent of his cologne mingled with the fresh soapy smell of his clothes. Ahhh.
Could Jason be as nervous as she? It sure didn’t seem like it. Maybe he had more experience with this sort of thing than she knew. Nah. She already knew about all of his girlfriends, and he told her she was his first true love. He sure seemed confident, though.
“Ha! Did you see that?” Jason pointed at the television.
Lilly jerked herself out of her thoughts and tried to focus on the program they were watching. “Um … no … I guess I missed it. Sorry.”
“Missed it?” Jason laughed. “We’re both sitting here watching together. How could you miss it?”
“Oh, just lost in thought. You know.” Lilly smiled up at him.
Jason’s eyes twinkled, and he leaned over to kiss her. “Ah. I can’t stop thinking about it either.”
Swept Away Page 16
