Kilty Pleasure

by Shelli Stevens

  While Hailey may not have spilled all her secrets, she’d certainly told those two more than she’d ever told anyone else.

  There’d been slumber parties, coffee runs, beach walks—they’d just been tight friends.

  And it was kind of killing her now to stare across the table at Sarah and think about how horribly she’d hurt her. How she’d basically destroyed her life. And, of course, killed their friendship at the same time.

  The waitress returned with Hailey’s soda, setting it down before moving on to the next table.

  Sarah opened her mouth, seemed ready to say something, and then closed it again. She lifted her wine and took a sip instead, appearing all too uncomfortable again.

  Deciding she’d be the one to break the ice, Hailey asked, “How is Emily?”

  The tension eased from Sarah’s shoulders. She gave a nod, smiling slightly.

  “Emily’s great. Showing off her arm and brace to anyone who’ll listen.” She grimaced. “I think she’s a little too hooked on those chewable grape pain killers, though. I had to hide the bottle and insist they weren’t candy.”

  Hailey gave a small smile. “Sounds familiar. A lot of kids like the taste. But as long as you’re giving her the right amount, she’s fine.”

  “I’m sure she is.” Sarah hesitated. “I’m really grateful for what you did the other day, Hailey. I wanted to thank you again.”

  So the meeting for drinks was maybe just her way of saying thanks? Could it be as simple as that? As complex as that?

  “You’re welcome.”

  “But that’s not why I asked to meet you tonight.”

  Ah, so no, it wasn’t as simple as that.

  “Why did you? Because I have to say, I’m curious. And, honestly, a little wary.”

  “I understand.” Sarah nodded, and took a sip of wine, her gaze not meeting Hailey’s now. “I really do. It’s probably a little weird—us meeting. I didn’t even tell Ian I was coming.”

  “You didn’t?”

  Ian didn’t know that Sarah had planned this little get-together? Would he approve? Somehow Hailey doubted it.

  “No. He thinks I’m shopping at the outlet mall to get some back-to-school clothes for Emily.”

  “I see.” Only she didn’t. Not even a little bit. Though she was starting to suspect this did have everything to do with Colin. Sarah was probably here to tell her to back off—to not hurt their family any more.

  Hailey braced herself both physically and mentally, ready to be chewed out.

  Sarah took a visibly deep breath in and looked up, meeting her gaze squarely.

  “I forgive you.”

  Out of all the things she’d expected Sarah to say, that wasn’t it.

  With the drink in her hand, halfway to her mouth, Hailey sat in stunned silence, trying to register the three words the other woman had just uttered.

  “I know it’s kind of a weird thing to say, to call you out here for,” Sarah rushed on, “but I need to say it, for me as much as for you.”

  “Sarah…” Hailey paused, trying to speak past the sudden lump in her throat, “…I don’t expect your forgiveness. I never have. I don’t even forgive myself for what I did.”

  “I realize that. I can see that about you. The day you first told us the truth and then again at the hospital.” Sarah’s brows furrowed. “It’s in your eyes. This self-disgust and regret. This pain. I know you don’t want me to see it, but I do. And it hurts me too, because it’s been much too long for you to not forgive yourself.”

  Shaking her head, all Hailey could say was, “I pretty much ruined your lives.”

  “You were seventeen. We were all young and stupid, and it sounds like you had your back against a wall.” Unhappiness flickered across Sarah’s face. “But listen, I believe this with all my heart. Even if you’d turned my dad down, he would’ve paid someone else to do it.”

  It would be so easy to take comfort in that. Allow herself to move on and maybe—like Sarah said—forgive herself. It just wasn’t that simple.

  “Maybe, but I should’ve said no.” Hailey struggled to find the words to explain what she’d already explained. “But that money kept our water on, put food on the table and held CPS away.”

  Sarah just nodded, and there was no judgment in her eyes. “I understand why you did what you did. I don’t blame you. I blame my dad. It’s probably better he’s gone, because if I’d found this out when he was alive it would’ve killed our relationship.” She glanced at the table and drew in a ragged breath. “It was already pretty rocky.”

  “I’m so sorry.” Before she could stop herself, Hailey reached out and squeezed Sarah’s hand.

  Realizing she might be going too far, she tried to pull away quickly. Sarah caught her hand, though, and squeezed back reassuringly.

  “I know you’re sorry.” Sarah’s gaze searched hers. “You’re a good person, Hailey. And I know it won’t be easy, but I’d like to try and be your friend again.”

  Hope flared in Hailey, so bright and strong, even as doubt needled and threatened to kill it.

  “Do you think it’s even possible?” Her voice was thick with uncertainty.

  “Yes. I’m sure it’ll take a while to build back the same easygoing friendship, but I’d love to at least try. I’m back on the island, but I don’t know that many people. Only have a handful of female friends, really. And I miss you, Hailey. I’ve always missed you.” Sarah smiled faintly. “I don’t see why we can’t go to lunch and try to move on. We can invite Kenzie.”

  Hailey winced. “I don’t think Kenzie may be as open to reconnecting as you are.”

  “You’d be surprised.”

  If she resented Hailey as much as her brother Colin did—maybe even Ian and Aleck too—then Kenzie probably wouldn’t give her the time of day.

  “Some of the McLaughlins aren’t so quick to forgive,” she couldn’t resist pointing out. Though one in particular sure was quick to fuck her.

  Not thinking about that right now.

  “I know. They’re a little too protective of those they love. Sometimes overly stubborn, but they’ll come around, especially when they realize I’ve moved forward and am reaching out to you again.”

  Sarah’s words trailed off as her phone buzzed. She glanced down to check the message and grimaced.

  “It’s Ian. I think he’s getting worried I’ve fallen into the Gap and can’t find my way out. I should probably go, but I’m serious about getting us together again soon. Are you in?”

  This time, Hailey didn’t even hesitate. Bad idea or not. “I’m in.”

  “Great.” Sarah stood and tossed a twenty on the table. “That should cover both our drinks. I really am glad you met me tonight.”

  Hailey took one last sip of soda and then stood as well. “I am too.”

  Sarah came around the table and gave her a quick hug. “We’ll have lunch soon. I promise.”

  “Tell Emily I hope she’s doing better.”

  “Absolutely. She’ll be thrilled to know you’re thinking of her. She thinks you’re great.” Sarah grinned as she gave a little wave, and then walked out the door of the bar.

  Hailey blinked and then shook her head. Had that really just happened? In the morning she was going to wake up half-convinced it had all been an amazing dream.

  Yesterday there was the unplanned, crazy-good sex with Colin, and now Sarah was offering forgiveness on a platter and wanting to rekindle their friendship?

  Things were just getting stranger every day. At this rate she had to wonder what the hell tomorrow would bring…

  “You realize the Bid on a Bachelor auction is coming up next week.”

  Colin cracked an eye open from where he reclined in the lawn chair. The smell of barbeque wafted around the backyard of Aleck’s home, as the sun from a merciless heat wave beat down on them.

  Of course a heat wave on the island meant maybe eighty degrees, but that was still pretty damn hot for him. If anything, it just added to the appreciation
of a lovely evening when the end of summer was quickly approaching.

  Which also put an end to barbequing during these weekly family dinners.

  “Next week is the auction, you say?” Colin eased the lawn chair into a sitting position. “I believe I have a root canal planned that evening, so sorry.”

  Aleck laughed. “While I’m sure it’s preferable, you have no choice in this.”

  “We never do,” Ian chimed in, from where he sat across the patio with Sarah. “Though I think this year my fiancée may have a bit more to say about me getting bought by some sexy dame.”

  “Or some old lady wanting you to pull the weeds in her garden.” Sarah’s laughter floated around the backyard.

  “Do you not hear this cheeky little minx over here?” Ian grumbled. “Old lady, my arse.”

  Sarah’s laughter grew louder. “Though, should you even be going up for auction? You’re a taken man now, Mr. McLaughlin.”

  “I’ve no choice. I signed up in the spring—long before your return.”

  “Hmm. I suppose I’ll just have to make sure I win then. Just in case some pretty college girl decides to spend her savings.” Sarah grinned.

  “I like that plan, my soon-to-be Mrs. McLaughlin.”

  “Mmm. You know I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m going to be Sarah McLaughlin.”

  “Aye, I know.” Ian grinned and pulled her into his arms.

  “And you realize there’s a singer with the same name.”

  “Oh aye,” Colin called out, “but she spells it differently.”

  “Maybe,” Sarah agreed mildly, “but I’m sure I’ll still get teased.”

  “Of course you will…” Ian dropped a quick kiss on her mouth, “…but I think so long as you avoid talking about malnourished, one-eyed puppies at parties, you’ll be all right.”

  Sarah sputtered and slapped his chest. “That’s horrible.”

  “It’s also funny as fook,” Aleck added as he flipped the burgers. “Now back to the auction, you’re both still in, aye?”

  “Aye,” Ian agreed.

  Colin nodded. “I suppose it’s all in good fun. Raises money for a different local charity each year.”

  “Oh give it a rest. You know you all love it because you’ve become such hot commodities.” Kenzie came out the back door, carrying all the trimmings for the burgers. “Now, the gigantic inflation to your egos is a bit of a nuisance we have to deal with after the fact.”

  “Our egos remain properly grounded, fook you very much,” Aleck closed the lid on the barbeque again.

  Colin frowned. “Watch your language, there are children about.”

  “Emily? Hardly. She ran inside to use the bathroom ten minutes ago.” Kenzie glanced back at the house. “And I happen to know she’s been waylaid by somebody’s Wii gaming system.”

  “Shite, I should’ve locked it up. It’s too nice a day for her to be gaming.”

  “She’s fine,” Sarah assured him. “She was actually outside all day at Cranberry Lake. I think she’s burned out on the heat.”

  Colin closed his eyes, letting himself relax again as the discussion of the auction continued. He really didn’t mind it so much. The money went to a good cause, as he’d pointed out. It was all rather fluffy and ridiculous, but in the end he had fun.

  And, more often than not, he did end up with an older lady wanting a nice view while he did her yard work.

  Yet wouldn’t it be interesting if he was won by someone a bit more exciting and attractive?

  Like Hailey.

  Hell, where did that thought come from? He shouldn’t have been surprised, though. Thoughts about her had kept drifting in and out of his mind since their evening together last week.

  And now it was his Friday again and he was so damn tempted to drive to Mount Vernon tonight. It was her Saturday, he’d realized. Which was odd, they shared a day off, because neither of their schedules was a traditional Monday through Friday workweek.

  He hadn’t spoken to her since that night, and felt a bit of an ass for it. There just hadn’t been time; he’d been too busy with work.

  Liar.

  There was always time when you were interested in someone. He’d made the time for Brenda when they’d been together, no matter how busy things got. The problem was that he was in full-on, guilt-ridden avoidance mode.

  Besides, it wasn’t as if she’d tried to contact him either. Then again, did she have his number? He only had her information from when he’d run her plates.

  He needed to apologize. He knew that. What he didn’t know was how he was going to see her again without immediately wanting to rid her of her clothes and toss her on the floor.

  Just thinking back on that moment had his blood stirring. His heart beating a bit faster. Wanting her had become a chronic condition, and the only remedy was sleeping with her or avoiding her. He’d chosen the latter.

  “Colin, are you still okay to watch Emily tomorrow?”

  Opening his eyes to Sarah’s question, he glanced over at her and grinned.

  “Aye, if you’re sure you trust me. What if she breaks her leg on my watch this time around?”

  Sarah gave a small shrug and then said lightly, “Well you’ll just have to figure out how to handle it on your own. You won’t have the luck of having Hailey nearby to help, she’ll be at lunch with Kenzie and me.”

  Chapter Nine

  What the hell? Colin digested that, wondering if he’d heard wrong, but everyone in the backyard had gone still with surprise.

  Everyone but Sarah and Kenzie, who exchanged conspiring glances.

  “When did this come about?” Ian’s question wasn’t quite steady, and the wariness in his words showed he might not have been okay with the announcement either.

  “I met Sarah last week for a drink. We talked about a lot of stuff, and in the end, I’m choosing forgiveness.” Sarah paused. “She made a mistake, no one’s going to deny it—”

  “No one,” Colin agreed grimly.

  Sarah glanced at him, her brows drawn together. “But we’re all guilty of making mistakes in life, and Hailey was a close friend of ours.”

  Aye, maybe so, but had Hailey really changed? Maybe not. He’d seen proof of that by the scumbag ex of hers who kept coming around. Whom she’d let come around.

  And another reminder of where she came from had been in the form of responding to a recent noise complaint at her mother’s house. They were the same dodgy, drugged-out, filth-talking trash they’d always been.

  Ian moved to stand behind Sarah, massaging her shoulders. “Are you sure about this, doll? I worry about you getting hurt again.”

  “Aye, and you should,” Colin agreed. “Forgiveness, I suppose I can understand, though I think you’re being far too generous with the olive branch. Befriending Hailey again might not be the best idea.”

  “I don’t know, maybe it is. I think it’s all up to what the women want to do, Colin.” Aleck cast him a sharp, warning look. “Kenzie and Sarah are both adults. If they’re deciding to forgive and move forward, perhaps we could all learn something from them.”

  Hardly. Kenzie and Sarah were making decisions based on emotion instead of logic right now. They weren’t the same teenagers they’d been in high school. If they thought they could recapture that illusion of friendship, they were all likely to end up hurt.

  “What’s with you lately, Colin?” Kenzie glanced his way. “You’re awfully negative and grumpy. You’re not our normal lovable Colin, and I have to say it’s become quite annoying.”

  He knew she was right, but getting called out on it only made him more irritable.

  “The truth is, I’m not really good company right now.” He stood from the lawn chair and grimaced. “I think I’ll just head home, if you don’t mind.”

  “Are you fookin’ kidding me?” Aleck shook his head. “We’ve not even eaten yet.”

  “Right, I know. Sorry.” And he was, but the more he thought about Hailey weaving herself back into Sarah and K
enzie’s lives, the angrier it made him.

  And sitting through a family dinner pretending he wasn’t a grouchy mess was only going to upset him more. Besides, he’d already tipped his hand.

  “Love you all.” He made the rounds, kissing the women on the cheek and clapping his brothers on the back. “Just drop Emily at my place tomorrow, Sarah.”

  “All right.” Her words were cheerful, but she looked upset that he was leaving.

  When he approached Aleck, the warning glint in his brother’s eyes made him almost flinch.

  “You’re going to see her,” his brother stated quietly enough to ensure they were the only two who heard it.

  Colin scowled. “The fuck I am.”

  “As you said last week, the fook you did. And the fook you will again.” Amusement swept across Aleck’s face. “You’d best be careful, little brother, or you’ll find yourself in a lot more than lust.”

  “I’m not going to see her,” he ground out softly.

  “Aye, you are.” Aleck turned his attention back to the burgers. “Just keep in mind what I said about remembering who you are, and you’d better not hurt her.”

  Colin tried to wipe the glower from his face as he slipped out of the backyard and walked to his truck, but his mood had already gone to shite.

  There was absolutely no way he was going to see Hailey tonight.

  “Well this is a surprise.” Hailey gripped the doorframe, but didn’t open the door completely. “Or, wait, not really.”

  Looming over her on the doorstep, Colin looked just as pissy and frustrated as he usually did when she saw him. And her heart was doing that same crazy marathon race it did every time she saw him now.

  “Can I come in?”

  “And if I said no…?”

  “Then I would’ve wasted forty minutes of driving and a bunch of gasoline.” He grimaced. “But if you’d rather I not, then I’ll leave.”

  Despite her better judgment and borderline foul mood, Hailey pulled open the door and stepped back inside, allowing to him enter. She couldn’t help but drink him in as he moved past her. In jeans and a T-shirt, he was so ridiculously sexy. Even sporting that scowl that she’d begun to associate with him.