One of the techs popped out of a door. “Tyson, we’re all set here.”
“Thanks, we’ll be right there.” We walked back to the theatre. Tyson put his arm around my shoulder and gave me quick squeeze. “You’ll be fine. You are as much of a professional as I’ve ever met. I’ve seen you grow and care so much about this show. You’ll be great. How fortunate for me that I cast a former cheerleader who knows how to free fall.”
I forced a smile that came out more as a grimace and had to restrain myself from turning and running away as I walked with Tyson on one side and Eli on the other; ushering me back to the fears I’d run away from.
* * *
The terrifying view from the second story rooftop set paralyzed me, and watching Eli jump off with such boyish pleasure made me want to hurl.
“Eli, perfect! I couldn’t have done it better myself. Come on back up.” Tyson called, learning over the precipice. I wanted to pull him back, but that would mean moving toward the edge.
“Woo hoo! That was awesome!” Eli bounced up from the mat far below.
“See, Willow, easy as pie. Do you know where your mark is?”
I nodded.
“Do you know the timing set up?”
I nodded.
“And you know where to aim your fall on the mat?”
“Yes.” I understood all these things. I’d spent hours on end practicing falls, tricks and stunts during cheer camps and with Jilly at her uncle’s gymnastics school. It didn’t mean I could pull it off.
I bit my lip and pressed myself as far from the edge as I could. Hot panic consumed me like a blast of heat in a sauna.
Tyson started to chew at his fingernails when, for the fifth time, I didn’t budge. “Willow, just relax, take a deep breath, and let gravity do the work.”
But gravity was the problem. Gravity would pull me down. I wouldn’t be in control. Despite the fact that the trap opening in the stage floor was ten feet wide. I could still miss it. Anything could happen. I could hit my leg and snap it in two or smack my head on the edge and bleed to death of a brain hemorrhage. I shivered at the thought.
“Tyson.” I mustered all the courage I could and prayed he’d understand. “Is there any way I can not do this?” I know he saw pure terror on my face.
Eli joined us from his last thrilling fall to the mat.
Tyson blew out a huge breath of patient frustration and put his hands on his head. “Oh boy.” He contemplated me and this dire situation.
“What’s going on?” Eli looked at Tyson and then me. “Why haven’t you gone?”
I averted my eyes so neither one could pin me with disappointment. Tyson didn’t speak a word. He must be screaming inside.
“Willow, what’s wrong?” Eli asked, still oblivious. How could he not see the problem?
He stepped next to me. “You’re trembling. Are you okay?” He held my shoulders and leaned down to see my face. “Willow, talk to me.”
“I can’t do it.” I whispered, because I didn’t have the guts to admit it any louder.
Eli’s face screwed up, and he looked at Tyson who raised his eyebrows in a sign of defeat.
“You’re kidding? Right?” He asked and then dawning struck. “Oh my god, are you scared?” Disbelief shown on his face. “Oh, Will. It’s okay.” He hugged me and chuckled at the irony of the situation. My body was rigid like a telephone pole.
“It’s gonna be okay. You can do this. I’ll help you.” He smiled up close, so confident and trustworthy.
I stared back like a little kid afraid to go in the pool. There was no way to make them swim or get in the water, short of lifting them and throwing them in. He better not even consider that. A new wave of horror shook through me.
With his handsome, innocent face close to mine, he spoke calm and quiet. “First, take a couple of deep breaths. You’ve got yourself all worked up over nothing.”
I looked into his wide dark eyes and focused on his words. Tyson watched and I’m sure prayed Eli could turn this situation around. I took the breaths and exhaled. It helped in the teensiest way.
“You’ve done tons scarier and more difficult stuff than this as a cheerleader. You can do this one simple fall. Just think of it as a cheerleading trick.”
Which was the worst thing he could say, but I couldn’t tell him that.
“Eli,” I whispered again. “I don’t think this is going to work.”
“Sure it will. Here, take my hand.” He stepped toward the edge and held his hand out to me. I clenched my jaw and focused on him. I wanted to take his hand, I really did, but he stood so close to the edge. I worried he’d slip and take me with him to my doom.
I took another deep gulp of air, moved a tiny step and gripped his warm hand with my clammy one.
“See, that’s great.” The encouragement in his voice began to sooth my erratic nerves. “Now another step. We’re just going to look over the side.”
Tyson observed in steely silence but didn’t interfere.
I took the step, my legs shaking like a paint can in a mixing machine.
“Good,” Eli’s voice soothed.
“Nice job,” Tyson said.
Being treated like a child by these two confident guys was humiliating, to say the least. I let out a sigh. Maybe I could do this. I leaned forward just enough to see part of the trap far below. My head spun. It looked like a frickin’ postage stamp on the enormous stage floor.
No way could I make that! I whipped my hand away and ran to press myself against the safety of the back wall.
Eli huffed, his patience running out. Tyson turned to Jason, who had stayed in the shadows off to the side this whole time. “Why don’t you head out,” he said in a quiet tone. Jason gave me an encouraging smile and left.
“That’s okay. Come back over here,” Eli said his words a little clipped.
I stared at him, unwilling to budge.
“Come on, let’s try it again.” He waved me over, patience growing thin.
I didn’t move. My heart pounded in my chest. They both kept staring at me like I was some freakazoid.
“You have to try,” Eli implored.
I shook my head, no. “I can't do it.”
I prayed the clock would move faster so we’d have to leave. I locked my frightened eyes with Eli’s frustrated ones.
Eli huffed, turned to Tyson and threw his hands in the air.
“Let’s take a break,” Tyson said.
“No! This is unacceptable!” Eli erupted. “Willow, it’s time to put your big girl pants on and get this done. We’re running out of time.”
“Eli, I can not do this! Back off!” Tears threatened. I would not cry. I would not cry.
“Of course you can, you just need a little tough love.” He took my upper arm with gentle hands and began to pull me away from the wall.
“No! Don’t touch me!” I screamed.
He and Tyson stared at me as if I’d lost it, which I pretty much had. Eli released my arm, but didn’t let up. “Willow, you have to do this.”
“No, I don’t!” I snapped.
“Eli,” Tyson interrupted. “That’s enough.”
“Do you have any idea how many people are counting on you? Including me? You have to do it so you don't screw up the show. There's going to be a casting agent here. What’s he and the other New York people going to think?” Eli said, all pissed off, with his hands planted on his hips.
“I don’t give a flip what other people think. I’m not going to do…it!” I couldn’t even say “jump off”. What a coward.
“Why?” he demanded. “You’ll do every possible cheerleading trick, no matter how dangerous, but you won’t try one puny fall!?” Eli yelled.
“No. I won’t!” I yelled.
“So what’s the deal? You scared?”
“Eli.” Tyson tried to warn him off; Eli ignored him. We’d passed the point of no return.
“Fine! I’m scared. Now you know, I’m afraid, so I guess that makes me a failure. I’m
out of here.”
I glared at Eli, he shoved his stubborn chin out and glared back. I tried to move past him, but he blocked my way. I’d have to walk near the edge, and he knew I wouldn’t go there.
“You know that every time you get scared you run away. Did you know that?” he spat.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Tyson shake his head in useless frustration.
“You did it three years ago with me, you did it with cheerleading, and you’re doing it now,” he said with open disgust. “I’m so sick and tired of you jerking me around.”
I gulped. Everything he said was true, but he had me cornered, and all I cared about was escaping that rooftop set.
“This time your spoiled little girl act is affecting more than just me. If you don’t do this fall, you’re screwing it up for everyone! It’s time to fucking grow up!” he screamed.
“You’re an asshole! I hate you!” I lashed out.
“I’m not the one switching directions like a ping pong ball. One minute you’re freezing me out, the next you want to hook up, and now you hate my guts. Make up your mind!”
“Go to hell!” I screamed and shoved him out of my way and didn’t care if he fell off or not.
“Right back at you!” Eli retaliated.
Chapter 35
I caught Tyson’s look of helpless defeat as I stormed past. Nothing I could do about it now. I ran down the steps, bolted past the stage manager to my dressing room, grabbed my bag and jacket and flew out the stage door.
Afraid Eli or Tyson would try to catch up to me, I ran the first few blocks up State Street. I needed as much distance between me and the gaping hole in the stage floor. Once I got past the State Capitol, lit up in all its glory, my adrenaline began to slow and left me shaking like a leaf. I pulled out my phone and called home.
“Dad.” My teeth chattered with emotion. “Can you come get me?”
“Willow, are you okay? Where’s Eli?” His normally laid back voice slipped into protective dad mode.
“I’m fine. I just need a ride home. I’m on Willy Street.” I rushed along. My gait was long and quick.
“On my way.” He clicked off without another word. I pictured him bolting out the door to the car without a coat. He was my hero.
Five minutes later, the crooked headlights of our car came around the corner, and I waved Dad down.
I climbed in and leaned my head back on the headrest, thankful to be safely away from the threats at the theatre.
“You and Eli have a fight?” Dad asked, while I buckled up.
I took one look at him. “Oh, Daddy.” And started to cry.
He leaned over and hugged me. I felt five years old again, and that was fine with me. Those were good years.
“Tell me what’s going on,” he said as he pulled away from the curb.
And so I did. I told him the whole story, from why I really quit cheer to how hard it had been with everyone so mad at me and how terrified I am to do that fall. Dad drove around aimlessly while I spilled my guts. Then I realized we were at the McDonalds drive through. I never noticed him pull in; I was so busy blabbing.
He handed me a chocolate shake.
“What about Mom?” I asked, knowing how freaked out she’d be that Dad went out of his way to give me refined sugars.
“We don’t need to tell her. It’ll be our secret, and I’ll hide the evidence.”
I took a couple huge mouthfuls and consoled myself with creamy cold chocolate heaven. As I drowned my troubles with ice cream, I contemplated my mess.
“Dad, I can’t do it.”
“What do you want to do? ” he asked as he pulled out and continued our wandering drive.
“What do you mean?”
“It’s up to you. It’s a free world. You can do anything you want. So what do you want to do?”
“I don’t want to do that fall.” My hand became cold from gripping my shake. “I really want to do the show, but I seriously don’t want to do the fall.”
“Okay, so don’t do it. So what?”
Easy for him to say. It wasn’t his butt on the line.
“But it will ruin the show! And Tyson has been so great. I don’t want to do anything to hurt him. He’s done so much for me.”
“Maybe it will hurt the show and maybe not. This Tyson sounds like a pretty smart guy.”
“But it’s such a terrible thing to do to him.”
“Then don’t do it.”
“You are so aggravating. You make it sound like it’s not a big deal, but it is!”
He smiled in that I’m so wise and you’re so young and naïve way. “Can I offer some advice?”
“Sure, but I might not take it.” I cocked my head sideways and smirked.
“That’s your choice. You need to give yourself a chance to succeed. If you don’t play the game of life, you’ll never win. If you turn your back on every challenge that comes along, you’ll be missing out on some awesome stuff.”
I hate it when parents make sense, and what he said did. Plus, Dad knew me well enough to know I’m not a quitter. I slurped down more of my shake, the sugar did a good job of raising my spirits.
Dad turned onto a side street and drove slower. “Do you remember when you were little and I worked at the Ad Agency? He glanced over at me.
“You were never home.”
“That’s right. I wanted to make a living by creating ceramic art, but I was afraid to quit my job. I didn’t want to let your mom or you and Breezy down. I didn’t know how we’d pay our bills. Finally, I realized life is too precious to spend ignoring the things you care about.” He looked over at me.
“It’s the best thing you ever did,” I said.
“Let’s look at when you quit dance because Eli wanted to lock lips with you.”
“Dad!” I nearly spewed my shake across the dashboard.
“Why were you afraid?”
“I was afraid I’d get hurt, and we wouldn’t be friends anymore.”
“And what happened?”
“I ran and was hurt and lost his friendship anyway.”
“And what about cheer? Why were you afraid?”
“Because I didn’t want to die!”
“Good reason.” He smiled. “So you quit and didn’t give yourself a chance to see how it might go? What was the result?” He slowly drove past the parked cars.
“I lost my best friend and the squad hates me.”
“And they didn’t make it to nationals either. Hmm. My point is that each time you turned your back when you got scared, you got hurt and hurt others. However, you also found some new amazing things. That’s how you found cheer and Jilly, and then it’s how you found Dream Chaser and hooked up with Eli and met the amazing Tyson Scott!” Dad said it like a game show announcer. “I can’t wait to meet this guy and see if he’s half as wonderful as you say.”
I grinned slow and sly. “Oh yeah, he is.”
“Back to the point. Whatever decision you make is okay. Running away from your fears will be painful, and you will probably end up hurting some people, but something new will evolve from it. The world isn’t static. Energy is always moving and changing. You and your decisions are just part of that energy. As you decide what to do, be true to your authentic self.”
“Yes, Oprah.”
“That was Dr. Phil.” He smiled and pulled into the driveway. “Does that help?”
“Kind of.”
As we walked to the front door, I noticed a familiar SUV at the curb. My chest tightened.
“Looks like we have company,” Dad said and eyed me knowingly.
“Uh oh.” I dropped behind Dad.
The lights inside shone bright despite the late hour. Dad glanced back at me. “I wonder who this could be?”
I let him walk in first. My human shield.
“Hi Honey! I’m so glad you two are back. We have company.” Mom nearly oozed with joy as Tyson stood up from our afghan-draped couch with a half dozen of Breezy’s fake vampire teeth scattered o
n the coffee table before him. His leather coat was unzipped with a designer scarf thrown carelessly around his neck and those jeans that made all the girls salivate. His eyes sparkled with calm warmth even though inside he must have been freaking out.
“Joe, honey, meet Tyson Scott.” Mom introduced them, biting back a smile.
Tyson reached out and there in my screwy house my hippy dad and the suave New York hottie shook hands.
Weird.
“Nice to finally meet you,” Dad said. “We’ve heard so much about you.”
“My pleasure. I hope what you’ve heard isn’t too bad. I’ve been pushing the kids pretty hard. Let me say you have an extraordinarily talented daughter.”
“Thank you. We think she’s pretty special.” Dad put his arm around my shoulder for a squeeze. He barely concealed his smirk when he glanced at me. I could read his mind. Ha ha! You’re back in the hot seat. No running now!
“Tyson has been telling me about the show.” Mom said in a sing-song way. “Sounds like it’s going to be wonderful. I had no idea all the detail that goes into it.”
OMG, Mom was flirting with my director. Gag.
While they chatted like BFF’s, I tried to sink into the braided rug.
“It’s getting late, and we have another big day tomorrow. If it’s alright, I’d like to talk with Willow for a couple of minutes,” Tyson said.
“Of course, you go right ahead.” Mom said and nearly pushed dad out of the room. She didn’t miss the opportunity to mouth the words. “He is so cute!”
I gave her the get out before I hurt you look. She grinned and fanned herself. I almost asked if her menopause was acting up again. Dad pulled her away.
Once we were alone, Tyson indicated the couch, and we both sat. “Your parents seem like great people.”
“Oh yeah, they’re just terrific,” I said loud enough I knew they would hear.
“Thanks, honey,” Mom called back.
Tyson fought back a laugh. “I see where you get your personality.”
I rolled my eyes.
Tyson focused on me for a couple seconds and finally said. “So that was quite a mess tonight.”
“Yeah.” I nodded and stared at Breezy’s plastic fangs.
Dream Chaser Page 21
