by Rebecca Shea
“Baby, are you ok?” he asks, pressing a kiss to my lips.
“Yes. Just give me a second,” I whisper. Leaning forward, I kiss his shoulder and pull my hands out of his and move them to his arms to his back. When I relax and there is no longer any pain, just pressure, I rock my hips slightly inviting him to do the same.
“God you feel good,” he says.
“So do you.”
“Wrap your legs around me,” he whispers, and I lift my legs hitching them around his hips.
Taking his time with me, he moves slowly, and I can’t help but take pleasure in the fact that the man I love is inside of me, skin to skin—making love to me. Closing my eyes, I want remember this moment, just feel him as he moves back and forth. He’s slow and gentle, and careful. Resting his forehead against mine, he continues to move, pressing light kisses to my face. Opening my eyes, I feel him harden more inside of me, his eyes grow darker, and his pace quickens.
“Am I hurting you?” he asks, his breath hitching.
“No. You feel so good,” I whisper in between breaths.
His breathing becomes more intense, and I feel him harden even more. Our breathing is rapid, and with two last thrusts, he moans, and I feel his warm release inside of me. He lowers himself onto me, and I can feel his heart beating against my chest. With his head lying between my head and shoulder, his soft lips and hot breath on my neck cause another wave of goose bumps to prick my skin. Overwhelmed with emotions, I hold him firmly in place on top of me, not allowing him to break our connection.
Taking a minute to recover, he lies there, still inside of me, and I’m not ready for him to leave me yet. “I love you. I will never get tired of loving you,” he whispers with his lips still pressed against my neck. His breathing becoming less labored, and he pulls himself from me and settles at my side. Pulling me to him, he wraps me in his arms, his grip firm. I hear him repeat those words again, the most beautiful words from my perfect man, I close my eyes, burning this memory into my mind for the rest of my life. I cannot imagine this moment being any more perfect, or with anyone else.
I have never been happier in my life. In the last month, I got the girl and was accepted as a recruit into the Santa Ruiz Fire Department. I spend most of my days training and taking my EMT classes at the local community college. Taking summer classes wasn’t originally my plan, but getting accepted into the academy forced me to get them out of the way sooner rather than later. If all goes as planned, I should be finished with classes by the end of fall, and hopefully, an employed fire fighter by the new year.
Jess is sitting on my bed, reading a smut book on her iPad, while I get some studying done. I hear her close the cover on her iPad, stand up and walk over behind me. She wraps her arms around my neck from behind me, and rests her chin on my shoulder.
“What is this?” she asks, reaching over my shoulder to pick up a packet from the stack of my notebooks.
“A study guide for that test I have tomorrow.”
“Eww…” she says, studying the information I have to memorize.
“I’m not worried. I know most of the information. I just need to brush up on a few things,” I say confidently.
“So, do you have time to sneak away?”
“Depends what we’re doing.” I wag my eyebrows at her.
“Is that all you think about?”
“Well, not all that I think about, but…”
“Okay, that’s enough.” She laughs at me. “I just wanted to go for a quick run.”
“Sure. Let me just get changed and we’ll go.”
“I’ll meet you out front in a few minutes. I have to run home and get changed,” she says, setting the study guide back on my desk.
Pressing a kiss to my cheek, she leaves in a hurry. Jess is already stretching when I meet her in front of her house. Coming up behind her, I snake my arm around her waist and pull her into me, kissing the side of her neck. Her head falls back, and I hear a slight hum coming from her throat. Gently nipping her neck, I feel her shiver.
“Let’s go, handsome.” She smiles at me and smacks me on the ass playfully. Reaching out to try and smack her ass back, she yelps and takes off running. Completing our first mile quickly, we turn around to head home, Jess is pushing me hard today, and I love that she challenges me. Coming up on the last half mile, she’s in almost a full sprint. God, I love watching her run. Her hair is pulled into a ponytail, and her long legs glide through the air. I love running just to watch her. I’d be fine in a smelly gym on a treadmill if it wasn’t for her. Slowing down as we come up on our street, our jog turns into a walk.
“Sorry, not much of a cool down today. I have to shower and meet Ava at the nail salon in about an hour,” she says, pulling the binder out of her ponytail. Her long, dark hair hangs down past her shoulders. Taking a few deep breaths, I walk over to her. She is standing with her hands on her hips and her head tipped back as she breathes deep. Reaching both arms through hers and around her waist, she drops her head forward resting her forehead on mine.
“Hey, lover,” she whispers, pressing a kiss to my lips.
“Hey. Quickie before you take a shower?” I ask with a smirk, kissing her neck.
“Gross. I’m sweaty.” She swats at me.
“Yeah, so? It’s usually me that makes you sweaty.” I continue kissing her neck.
“Tonight, I’m all yours.” She starts leaning back away from me, but I hold my grip on her.
“Oh, I plan to take full advantage of that,” I smirk and squeeze her ass as she pushes me away.
“Go home, shower, and study. I’ll be ready by six for dinner,” she says, turning and walking away with her hips swaying. She has no idea how badly she affects me.
“Of all the places you could pick for dinner, you chose this?” I ask, trying to look appalled.
“It’s pizza, Gabe.” She rolls her eyes at me.
“We just ordered our food at a counter, and they gave us a number so they’d remember where to bring the food.” I respond. “I wanted to bring you somewhere nicer than a pub.”
“This isn’t a pub, and I want pizza. This place has the best pizza in town. Didn’t you ever come here in high school?”
“Ah, no.”
“That’s right. You were too busy being Mr. Jock and chasing tail to hang out at such dingy establishments like this.” She laughs at me as her eyes scan the interior of the small pizza joint.
God I love watching her laugh, the way her eyes crinkle just a little bit, and the way she tips her head back turns me on. There is an unspoken comfort with Jess. I’ve never been so at ease with another person in my life. Something inside of me was missing until we got together, and I never intend on letting her go.
“So what’s the plan for after dinner?” she asks, taking a drink of her soda.
“Bonfire at the house?” I ask, not knowing how she’ll feel about that. Dad built this amazing fire pit in the back yard, and we spend most of our weekends with friends gathered around it.
“I’d love that. I want to spend as much time with Ava before she leaves,” she says, her voice becoming quiet.
Ava leaves for Stanford in just a couple of weeks, so we’ve been making a point to spend as much time with her as possible.
“I’m going to miss her when she leaves,” she says.
“Me too.”
“But it’s different for you, Gabe. You still have Luke.”
“Well, you’ll have me.”
“That’s different. Who can I talk to about you? Or who’s going to go get pedicures with me?”
I laugh. I’m not doing pedicures. “You can call her, text her, and even e-mail her. I know it’s not the same as having her right here, but it’ll work out.”
Our pizza arrives and it’s huge. I will also say, it’s probably the best pizza I’ve ever had.
“So how did you find this place again?” I ask, taking another slice.
“This really hot guy used to bring me here, and we’d make out in
the back corner.” She points to a dark corner where there is an old Pac-Man video game that has an ‘Out of Order’ sign on the screen.
She laughs at me when I glare at her.
“I’m kidding, geez relax. The girls and I would come here after tennis practice.”
“Your attempts at humor aren’t very funny when you joke about other men.”
“Yes they are,” she rolls her eyes at me.
“No, they’re not.”
“I’m hilarious.”
I can’t help but laugh at her now, she is so damn cute when she argues with me.
“Ok, you’re hilarious, Jess.”
“I know. I’m really glad we settled this,” she says with a smirk.
“Hey, I have an idea,” I say taking another bite of my pizza.
“I don’t know if I should be intrigued or scared. See, that was funny,” she says, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “What’s this idea of yours?”
“Maybe we can go visit Ava. You know, once she’s settled we can take a road trip and surprise her for a weekend.” Her eyes soften and mist over as she thinks about my proposal.
“I’d love that,” she whispers.
“I’d do anything to make you happy, you know that right?” She nods and tears threaten to spill out of her green eyes.
“I love you, Gabe.”
“I love you too.” I respond. “Now are you ready to get out of this dump?” I joke with her.
“Yeah, yeah. I will never bring you here again,” she laughs.
“Actually I was hoping we could come back next week. That pizza was damn good.”
“Told you,” she laughs.
Pulling into my parents driveway, there are quite a few cars already here. I even see Luke’s truck parked in front of the house. Instead of heading through the side gate, Jess goes into the house, and like a lovesick puppy, I follow her.
“Hi, Mom and Dad!” she announces as she walks through the door. My mom is at the sink, washing dishes, and Dad is sitting at the kitchen table, drinking a beer and supervising her.
“Hey, Jess!” my dad hollers.
Jumping up out of his recliner he makes his way to her, pulling her into a tight embrace.
“We miss having you around, but I’m glad Gabe is keeping an eye on you.” He winks at her. “There’s quite a crowd out there tonight,” he says nodding toward the backyard. Jess releases her hug on Dad and opens the patio door.
“‘Bout time lovebirds,” Luke catcalls.
Giving him the bird, I ignore his comments, noticing that there actually are quite a few people here, more than the usual eight to ten that normally gather. Jess makes her way over to Ava, and I grab a beer from the cooler, taking a seat next to Luke.
“So how are classes going?” Luke asks taking a drink of his beer.
“Actually, really good. I’m lucky that every one of my undergrad classes transferred over, all I need are the sixteen credits for the Fire Sciences degree. Once those are done, all I need is to pass the P.A.T. Jess has been running my ass off lately, so I’m hoping the extra cardio will help me.”
Luke laughs. “Good. Can’t wait to have you on board bro.” He takes his beer bottle and taps mine.
“Me too, man,” I say, watching Jess move from group to group. She is a social butterfly, able to talk to and relate to anyone. She finally settles, sitting on the stone bench by the fire, talking with Ava. I can’t help but smile when I see that they’re laughing so hard, Ava is doubled over. Jess glances at me, and her eyes sparkle in the light of the fire. I never knew I could be so in love with someone, but she has completely captured my heart.
‘I love you,’ she mouths to me.
‘Love you too.’ I mouth back. Luke laughs when he sees us.
“So, how are things with you two?” Luke asks.
“Good. Really good,” I say watching her. “I’m happy.”
“You look happy,” he says. “Can I ask you something honestly?”
“Shoot.”
“Is she the reason you didn’t go back to Arizona?”
I hesitate to answer for a moment because I wonder where this questioning is coming from.
“Partly, I love her. I really do, but I also know that I wanted to be a fire fighter.” I think back to a few months ago, when I made this decision and all the emotions involved. “Either way, this was a chance worth taking for me,” I say looking at Luke then back to Jess. “She’s worth it.”
“She is,” he agrees with me. “I’m glad you’re both happy.”
“So am I man, so am I.”
“Stop eye fucking my brother, it’s gross,” Ava says, as she catches me looking at Gabe. I pick up another plastic cup and toss it into the trash bag.
“I’m not eye fucking your brother.”
Picking up the last of the paper plates and empty cups, Ava and I make one last sweep of the patio, looking for anything else we missed.
“You know I’m really going to miss you when you leave,” I tell Ava.
“I’m going to miss you too. I honestly can’t remember what it was like before you starting living with us.”
“Really? I remember so much about that time, probably because I had just lost my mom. I guess the trauma of it really ingrained in me everything around those years.”
“Do you miss her?”
Pausing to gather my thoughts, I notice Gabe talking to Luke up on the patio near the house. I sit down on the built-in stone benches that surround the fire pit. I take a few moments to stare at the flames and remember the bits and pieces of my mom.
“Yeah, I miss her. I don’t remember much about her particularly, but I have vague recollections of baking cupcakes with her and going to the library. She loved to read.”
Ava sits down next to me, weaving her arm through mine and resting her head on my shoulder.
“You love to read too,” She whispers.
A small smile settles on my face. “I guess I get that from her.”
“And you look like her too,” Ava says. “Almost identical.”
I keep a small-framed picture on my nightstand of my mom and me. I catch Ava looking at it occasionally.
“I think so too. Do you think that’s why he hates me?” I ask, “Because I look so much like her?”
Squeezing my arm, Ava knows I’m referring to my dad.
“He doesn’t hate you,” I hear Gabe say from behind us. Ava and I simultaneously turn our heads to see him walking toward us.
“Well maybe he doesn’t hate me, but he doesn’t care much about me.”
“Look, I can only tell you what I see.” He sits down on the other side of me. “He loves you, Jess. He just has a really shitty way of showing you. I think losing your mom destroyed him. He knew that having you stay with us was what you needed, the stability of a family and siblings. We were a surrogate family for you, and he drowned himself in work as a coping mechanism. I guarantee you that man would lay down his life for you; he just doesn’t know how to show you that.”
Giant tears are rolling down my face, as I absorb his view of my relationship, or lack thereof with my dad. I see Ava wipe tears from her cheeks too.
“I didn’t mean for this to get all emotional.” I laugh and swipe at the tears, trying to lighten the mood.
Lifting her head, Ava wipes her cheeks again. “Just because I’m moving doesn’t mean I’ll forget about you. I will miss your sassy ass every single day.” She smacks my thigh, standing up. “And you have Gabe here to keep you, uh…busy,” She winks at me.
“Good night you guys, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Ava says quietly leaving me alone with Gabe.
“Night Ava.”
“Night sissy,” Gabe responds.
We sit in silence for a few minutes, just watching the fire. Gabe’s fingers are laced through mine. He brings my hand to his lips a couple of times placing small kisses across the top of my hand, and on each knuckle.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah, sorry, I didn’t think
I would cry, but talking about it is still hard.”
“You have every right to be upset. I can’t imagine what it would be like to lose my mom.”
Leaning in, I press my lips to his and taste a slight hint of the beer he had been drinking minutes before.
“Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks.
“For loving me.”
“I’ll never not love you.” Those words melt me a little more every time he says them. I press another kiss to his mouth, this one a bit deeper and more aggressive.
“I’m ready to go,” I whisper against his lips.
He pulls my hand and nearly drags me across the street to my house, clearly ready to cash in on alone time I promised him earlier. Shuffling into the house, I lock the door behind him and he is already down the hall and headed to the bedroom. I take over the bathroom to start getting ready for bed, tossing my clothes into the laundry hamper.
Looking at myself in the mirror as I’m rinsing face wash off of me, I see Gabe squeeze in and plant himself directly behind me. Resting his chin on my shoulder, he watches me finish washing my face and removing my make-up.
“What?” I ask, noticing the serious look on his face.
“I’m the luckiest man in the world, you know that, right?”
“You are, babe. You have so much happening for you right now, and I’m so proud of you. A few more tests and you’ll be finished with school and then you can finally apply for a full-time position at the station. My dad is dying to bring you on.” I turn and kiss him.
“Yes, that makes me happy, but I’m the luckiest man in the world because I have you.” He rubs the side of my cheek with his hand.
God, this man knows what to say. Pushing me back gently against the bathroom counter, he presses his lips to mine while his hands skillfully catch the hem of my pink tank top, lifting it up and over my head. Sliding his hands from my shoulders, he finds my breasts, pinching both nipples, causing a slight moan.
“Like that?” He asks.
“Mmm hmm,” I lean into him.
His lips move from my cheek, down to my neck, where he spends time kissing and nipping me. Feeling his hands slide down my sides and over my hips, he hooks his fingers in the top of my pink panties and pulls them down just past my hips where they fall to my feet. Lifting me onto the bathroom counter, his lips never leave my neck.
