Steal My Breath (Elixir #1)

by Nina Levine

  I know he means no harm, but his words sting. I already feel like a loser who can’t find a guy or even just get laid; I don’t need Luke to be verbalising the fact. Crossing my arms over my chest, I reply, “I’m not a quitter, Luke. I’ll eventually find someone.”

  “I hardly think you’d be classified as a quitter if you stopped scouring dating sites. All I’m suggesting is that perhaps if you stopped trying to force something, it might happen when you’d least expect it.”

  Standing, I grab my laptop and bag. My heart has started doing that goddamn jig again, and I’m sure my face has turned a lovely shade of red. I don’t want to talk to him anymore today. I’m a twisted mix of embarrassed and pissed off now. The pissed off side wins when I snap, “I see nothing wrong with using a dating site to look for love and if I want to scour those sites, that’s my business, not yours.”

  With one last glare at him, I turn and stalk out of the café. I know I’m being irrational and overreacting, but Luke has this way of provoking me.

  Screw you, Luke Hardy.

  I’m going to find me a man and show you it can be done.

  2

  Callie

  “Where the hell did you find this guy?” Avery demands, her eyes all over my date and her tongue practically hanging out of her mouth.

  I don’t blame her for drooling. The dude’s hot in every way a girl wants her guy to be hot.

  Tall.

  Dark, wavy, looks-like-he’s-just-been-fucked hair.

  Muscles that indicate he’d be able to carry me to bed with little exertion.

  Tom Hardy lips that you could kiss for hours on end.

  Ian Somerhalder eyes. Seductive as hell.

  There’s only one catch with this dude. When he opens his mouth and speaks, the ugly shows through. I’ve just spent the last two hours having dinner with him and within the first twenty minutes, I wanted to leave. I’m convinced he could talk about himself for days without taking a break, and that’s exactly what he did. However, when he suggested we go for a drink after dinner, I jumped at the opportunity to bring him to Luke’s bar and show him off.

  To Luke.

  Nobody needs to know I’m as far from attracted to him as a woman can be to a man. I’ll tell Avery the truth later, but for now, I want Luke to see me with a guy I found on a dating site. And I want him to see me smiling and having a good time with said guy.

  I’ll show Luke that I can find a guy online.

  God, he stirs my crazy behaviour, and as much as I know it makes me seem ridiculous, I’m unable to stop myself.

  “Dwayne was one of my matches on the dating site,” I answer her as I lean against the counter and watch him talk to the guys. Luke’s face seems to be set in a permanent scowl as he listens to Dwayne. Tyler, on the other hand, appears quite animated, as if he’s interested in the conversation. And he probably is—Dwayne has hardly shut up about football all night, and Tyler loves talking footy.

  I turn to catch Avery licking her lips. She grins at me and says, “I bet that man is a master in bed. Look at those muscles. I’m sure he’d have stamina to last the night through.”

  She’s right, but sex is the last thing I want from him. And that’s saying something because three months without it is messing with my mind. I'm pretty sure all I think about is getting some.

  Reaching for the vodka she’s just poured, I take a long sip before shaking my head. “I’m not even interested.”

  Her eyes widen and her mouth gapes. “Huh?”

  I throw some more of my drink back and then let out all my frustrations. “God, why is it so damn hard to find a man these days? For fuck’s sake, I just want a guy with manners who is as interested in me as himself.” I guzzle the rest of the vodka and slam the empty glass down before raking my fingers through my hair. “No, strike that! I want a man who hangs on my every word for at least some of the date. Some attention would be nice. A guy like Dwayne is only interested in himself, and I bet sex with him would be a bust. He’d probably get off and not even make sure his woman was taken care of before turning on the damn television to catch up on sport. Ugh.” I ignore Avery’s bulging eyes and the shaking of her head. She can think I’m wrong, but she isn’t the one who had to sit through two hours of the guy.

  “Shit,” she mutters as a throat clears behind me.

  Spinning around, I find Dwayne staring at me. “So I take it that tonight’s not leading anywhere.” His words don’t stun me—they only confirm my suspicions.

  Well damn. I figure there’s no saving this now. “Nope.”

  His gaze lingers on me for another moment before he reaches into his pocket for his keys. “Figured as much at dinner, but I thought a drink might loosen you up a bit.”

  “I think you should leave now.” Avery’s protective streak kicks in and her anger flares. She’s always looking out for me, and I love her for it.

  Dwayne takes a step away from us. “Consider me gone,” he says, and a moment later, we watch him walk out of the bar.

  “What a douche!” Avery exclaims, her eyes wild with indignation. “All he wanted was sex.”

  I groan. “Well, to be fair, I’m pretty desperate for that, too.”

  “Yeah, but at least you’re also looking for a guy to date. I’m glad you didn’t lower your standards for him.”

  I catch sight of Luke staring after Dwayne and then our eyes meet for a moment.

  “Another dud?” Tyler asks as he joins us, distracting me from Luke.

  “She’s better off without him in my opinion,” Avery offers her thoughts.

  I sigh. “Yes, another dud. Why are good men so hard to find?”

  Tyler grins. “I know one right in front of you, who I don’t think you’ve ever considered giving a shot. The way he watches you is a dead giveaway but you seem to be blind to it.”

  “Please enlighten me so I can rectify that.” I’ve no clue who he means.

  Before Tyler shares the name, a guy runs into me, spilling his drink all over my new dress.

  Can this night get any worse?

  “Fuck!” Tyler says. He grabs the guy by his shirt and hauls him away before I even get the opportunity to give him a piece of my mind.

  Avery passes me a roll of paper towel, and I attempt to soak as much alcohol out of my dress as I can. The smell of rum fills my nostrils, and my annoyance builds.

  “I’m going to the ladies, babe,” I say to Avery as I dump the paper towel on the counter. “This is going to take more than paper towel. I’m freaking covered in rum.”

  She stares at me with sympathy and nods. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”

  “Make me a vodka? A double, please.”

  “I’ll make you a huge-ass vodka,” she promises, and I leave her to head to the bathroom.

  First order of business: clean my dress.

  Second order of business: drink as much vodka as is needed to put tonight out of my mind.

  * * *

  “So let me get this straight, you waitress to pay the bills, but your dream is to publish books? And you’ve already got a tonne of rejections for your first two manuscripts?” The guy I’ve been drinking with for the last hour struggles not to slur his words as he recounts what he’s learned about me so far.

  I drink what’s left of the vodka in front of me. “When you lay it out like that, it’s almost depressing, but yes, that’s me in a nutshell.” The feelings of inadequacy I’ve held onto over my rejected manuscripts resurface, and my soul shrivels a little more.

  Will I ever succeed?

  I’ve been writing since I was a teen and am currently working on my fourth book. I never submitted my third to anyone for fear the rejection would finally cripple me. As it is, I go to battle with myself every day. Between the constant back and forth of ‘I’ve got this’ to ‘You’ve got no idea what you’re doing’, the mind whiplash feels like a beating I give myself day in and day out.

  The guy—I’ve long forgotten his name—nudges me. “Life’s depressi
ng. Don’t feel like you’re the only one who has that covered. It’s why I drink.” He raises his beer at me before taking a long swig.

  Geez.

  So negative.

  This guy is not the kind of man I need to be spending any time with.

  Taking a step away from the table, I signal my intent to leave. “Thanks for the chat.”

  He frowns. “You’re leaving? The night’s only young.”

  “I’ve gotta get up early for work tomorrow.”

  As I attempt to leave the table, he places his hand on my arm and halts my progress. “Stay.” His voice takes on a darker tone as if he has no intention of letting me leave, and concern slides through me.

  Plastering a fake smile on my face, I argue, “No, I really have to get up early. I’ll be wiped if I don’t get to bed soon.” I’m suddenly feeling a hell of a lot more sober than I did five minutes ago.

  His grip on me tightens, and his eyes flash with determination. “Sweetheart, I’ve just spent an hour of my time talking to you and buying you drinks, the least you can do is give me some of your time and attention.”

  My mind swims with confusion.

  I’m sure I bought all my own drinks.

  How the hell do I always pick the dickheads?

  I seriously need to consider celibacy as a life option.

  “The lady has made herself clear. Let her go and get the fuck out of my bar.”

  Luke.

  I catch sight of his face as he forces his way between me and the dude, and my breathing slows at the anger I see there. I’ve never seen him so mad.

  The guy lets me go and raises his hands defensively. “Sorry, man, I didn’t realise she was taken.”

  I don’t know where he got that idea from, but I’m not going to correct him.

  Luke’s shoulders remain tense, and his eyes don’t leave the asshole. He jerks his chin at the door. “Leave.” He utters one word only, but holy mother of God, everything about that word screams “don’t fuck with me”.

  With one last scowl, the guy stalks out of the bar while Luke tracks his movements before turning back to face me. His shoulders remain tense, but his features soften a little. “You okay?”

  My tummy flutters at the concern I hear in his tone. I nod and try to put his mind at ease. “Yes, I’m all good. Thank you.”

  He takes that in and then says, “I’m taking you home now. I had another woman complain about that guy earlier, and I don’t want to take any chances that he’s gonna come back looking for you.”

  “I doubt he will, Luke. You were pretty forceful, and besides, he thinks you and I are together. He wouldn’t chance pissing you off.”

  “I know guys like him. They don’t give up easily when they want a woman. Take my word for it, he’ll be back.”

  “You don’t have to take me home. I know you’re busy tonight.”

  “Fuck, Callie, can you ever just let me help you?”

  I stand straighter and take a deep breath. I’ve managed to frustrate him yet again. It’s like he’s got a short fuse with me, but not with everyone else. “When I need help, I’ll ask for it, but you’ve got a bar to run, and I am capable of getting myself home.”

  He bends his face closer to mine and takes charge like he’s never done before. “I’m all out of patience, so get your ass outside and in my car.” His bossy tone hits all the right spots and desire shoots through me, lighting me up with a need I’ve never known.

  I don’t even hesitate. I do as he said.

  As I move through the crowd in the bar, Luke places his hand on the small of my back and guides me. People talk to him as we walk, but he hardly responds, and instead, keeps directing me towards the front door of the bar.

  When we finally arrive at his car, I’m so freaking turned on I can barely concentrate. He unlocks the doors, and I slide into the front seat of his BMW. I’ve never been in his car, and it’s not at all what I would have expected him to drive. Luke is not a flashy guy, and I didn’t think he was wealthy, but his car leads me to now assume otherwise.

  A few moments later, he starts the car and drives in the direction of my apartment. It’s less than a ten-minute drive to my place in New Farm, and we make the trip in silence. My brain is firing haphazardly as I sift through my thoughts and feelings.

  Hopefully, he’ll just drop me off and keep going.

  There is no way you can let him into your apartment because you’ll end up jumping his bones.

  Who are you kidding? There’s no way he’s going to just drop and run.

  Oh, God. Please send help.

  We reach my apartment complex, and he parks the car. As he switches off the ignition, I know how this is going to go down. He’s going to walk me in, and I’m not going to be able to stop myself from making a move. I’m so damn horny, and a woman can only control herself to a certain point.

  I want Luke and there’s no more denying it.

  “You don’t have to walk me in,” I blurt out, making one last attempt at trying to control myself. As the words pass by my lips, even I’m hoping he ignores them.

  And he does.

  “I’m walking you in, Callie. Don’t even try to argue with me.”

  He unfastens his seat belt and exits the car.

  Five minutes later, he follows me into my apartment after guiding me inside with his hand on my back again. To say I love the hell out of his hand on me is an understatement.

  “Is James home?” he asks as he looks around the lounge room. It’s been a good three months since he’s been here and I’ve made a lot of changes since then. Not that Luke has really seen much of my home. He came over once when I had a gushing tap. I rang Avery in desperation and Luke overheard. Twenty minutes later, he turned up to fix it and we exchanged numbers in case I needed help again. Since then, he’s helped me out a couple of times because James was useless at male things.

  “He moved out last week.” Luke never liked my ex-roommate, and I catch the smile that flickers across his face at the news.

  I kick my heels off and almost moan at the instant relief. Heels and I don’t have a good relationship, but I had to wear them tonight. I mean, what else do you wear with a little black dress?

  Luke’s gaze is drawn to my feet, and I savour the slow burn of heat as his eyes slowly move back up my body. When they meet my gaze, my legs go weak, and my heart begins beating faster.

  He wants me as much as I want him.

  How have I missed this?

  Holding his gaze, I close the distance between us and place my hand on his chest.

  My gaze drops to his lips.

  I need those lips on mine.

  Now.

  “Don’t,” he says in his husky voice, and my thoughts come to a screeching halt.

  Don’t?

  I look back up into his eyes, searching for a sign that I misheard, but the way he’s staring down at me tells me I didn’t.

  Conflict sits heavy on his face.

  Frowning, I remove my hand from his chest and ask, “Why not?”

  His chest rises as he draws a deep, ragged breath. “We don’t want to start something that can’t go anywhere. I don’t want to do that to you.”

  I don’t understand his reasoning. “What do you mean it can’t go anywhere? And besides, who said this couldn’t just be a one-night deal?”

  His lips press together, and he rakes his fingers through his hair. It’s clear he’s torn over this decision. “We’re friends, have been for a year now, can you honestly see us sleeping together once and then acting like nothing happened?”

  No.

  “Yes.” God, I want him. Even more now that he’s telling me no.

  “Bullshit.” He watches me closely for my response, and I want to scream out my need for him, but I refrain.

  “Okay, so maybe not, but why can’t we see where it leads?”

  “Because I know where it will lead. To heartbreak, and I refuse to hurt you.” He speaks with a finality that irritates me. As if he ge
ts the final say and I get no input.

  “I know you think that you know everything, Luke, but on this, you don’t. You have no idea where it might go, and I want to know what’s holding you back.” I train my eyes on him in an effort to make it clear I’m not giving in to him on this.

  “Jesus!” He rubs the back of his neck as he takes a step away from me. When he begins pacing, I wonder what the hell is going on in his mind. I’ve never been turned down by a man before.

  Maybe I read him wrong.

  Maybe he doesn’t want me.

  And then, he surprises the hell out of me by stalking back to me, taking hold of my face with both his hands and kissing me.

  Oh, dear Lord.

  His lips fit perfectly to mine.

  He caught me off guard for a moment, but I quickly get back in the game and wrap my arms around him while pressing my body close.

  No man has ever kissed me the way Luke is kissing me.

  It’s like sunshine on a rainy day, when all the doom that’s been cast your way during the pounding rain finally clears, and you see those first rays of a rainbow mixed with glints of sun.

  Sweet, sweet, happy rays of sunshine that make you want to dance. That make you feel happy and thankful when all you were feeling before was sad and gloomy.

  That’s how Luke’s kiss makes me feel.

  I don’t ever want this kiss to end.

  His tongue dances with mine, and my body lights up with pleasure.

  Don’t ever stop.

  Please.

  My fingers tangle in his hair, and I moan into his mouth as he deepens the kiss. And when he growls his pleasure, I press even harder against him. Against his erection.

  He wants me as much as I want him.

  Thank you, sweet, sweet universe.

  And as I’m clinging to him and drowning in his kiss, he does the one thing I don’t want him to do.

  He pulls away.

  Pained eyes stare at me as he attempts to get his breathing under control. I stare back in complete confusion waiting for him to explain why he stopped.