by Nina Levine
I can imagine Estelle doing everything Jolene has just described. It’s funny, though, how we interpret people’s actions. If it were my child she was gifting items to, I’d happily accept them. They say actions speak louder than words, but sometimes we hear the wrong things.
I don’t say anything. Rather, I just wait for her to continue.
“Eventually, Luke stopped caring and stopped standing up for me to his mother. I fought back—I tried everything to get his attention from arguing with him to ignoring him. When I stopped having sex with him, he didn’t even care. He simply came to bed, kissed me goodnight and rolled away from me.” She blinks and a tear rolls down her cheek. “Do you know how that feels, Callie? To have the man you love so much you think you’ll die if he leaves you, roll to the other side of the bed night after night? To not have his support where his mother is concerned? To know he’d rather go to work than try and fix the problems between you?”
Oh, God.
My heart is completely breaking for the wife of the man I love. For Luke, too. So many misunderstandings and so many lost opportunities to make it right. And look where they are now. He’s in a world of hurt, fighting desperately to figure out how to heal his wounds. And she’s so completely destroyed that I don’t know how she’ll even begin to find herself again.
“I’m so sorry, Jolene. I know that means very little, but I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through.”
She continues to hug herself and stare at me. “When I came here, he was amazing. He did everything to help me and I thought we had another chance if I ever got out. I filled the hours imagining the fresh start we would have and the family we could build. I promised myself I’d do better. And I believed Luke was committed to our marriage because the one thing I knew for sure was that he truly wanted a family that stayed together. He wanted Sean to have both of us together so he felt the security Luke and I never did growing up. But whoever set me up has ruined all that now.”
I shift in my seat, desperate to talk about the murder because we’re running out of time. That and I’m not sure I can sit through much more of Luke’s marriage today. “Who do you think set you up?”
“Glenda is the only person I think would do it. She hated Mum more than I did and she never loved me. She killed two birds with one stone.”
“Yeah, I’ve got her on my list.”
“Have you met her?”
I nod. “She doesn’t like me.”
Jolene relaxes her arms by her side and I sense we’ve taken a tentative step back towards some semblance of trust. I’m not fooling myself, though. I don’t think Jolene will ever trust someone easily again. “Glenda doesn’t like anyone.”
I raise a brow. “She seems to really like Luke. Anything there?”
“Well, except for Luke and Sean. She loves them, but I don’t think she likes Luke in that way. Glenda usually goes for weak men she can control and Luke definitely does not fit that bill.”
She’s right there.
“Okay, so I’ll direct my efforts into looking into Glenda then.” I’ve already started this but I’ll step it up now.
Time’s up and Jolene stands. “I’ve spent the last few days hating you, but as much as I want to keep doing that, I’m finding it hard.” She doesn’t give me time to respond before turning and walking away.
I know how she feels because I feel the same way. Not that I hated her; I simply never imagined understanding how she got to this point in her life.
35
Callie
“I feel like James Bond or something.”
I eye Avery and shake my head at her before diverting my attention back to the road. We’re on our way to the motel to try to talk with Louise again.
“What? You don’t feel a little detective-y or like a spy?”
“I feel frustrated that this investigation is going nowhere.” I park the car and exit it, meeting her on the other side. “It’s been weeks and I’m no closer to figuring anything out.”
She cocks her head and frowns. “How are you doing, really? It’s been two weeks since the break-up and I’ve been a bad friend this past week. Are you still consuming mass quantities of cheese and Harvey?”
I laugh. “What makes you think I’ve been consuming mass quantities of Harvey?”
“Suits is your go-to TV show when you’re depressed and I know it’s only for Harvey.”
“For your information, I’m weaning myself off the cheese but I’m reserving the right not to give up Harvey yet.”
“Well, there’s always Harvey rehab if this gets out of hand.”
“And what is Harvey rehab?”
Her eyes twinkle. “It involves copious amounts of alcohol, dancing and hot guys.”
I can’t even imagine checking out another man let alone dancing with one.
“I think I’ll stick with Harvey for a while, A.”
She gives me a sad smile and nods. “Yeah, I know,” she says softly. Then she jerks her chin at the motel. “Let’s do this so we can move onto the best part of today.”
I promised her we’d head to a bar after this for drinks and a catch up. I just hope it doesn’t descend into a night of talking about Luke. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since that Tuesday night and with each passing day, it’s only getting harder, not easier.
I know Luke Hardy is going to be a man that’s hard to move on from.
* * *
Louise isn’t on shift today so we’re stuck talking to a woman named Amanda. After spending five minutes with her, I decide she’s as cagey as Louise. It’s clear she’s nervous about discussing the murder by the way her eyes avoid mine. Just like Louise.
“Look, Amanda,” I say in frustration after she continues fobbing us off, “I’ve got enough to take to the police now. I know Louise wasn’t actually working on the day of the murder and once the police hear this, they’ll be all over her. But I’d rather just talk to Louise and get her side of the story. You need to tell her this for me because I can’t seem to catch her here lately.”
Her eyes widen. “Why can’t you just leave her alone? She’s going through stuff you wouldn’t even believe and this is the last thing she needs.”
“I just want to talk to her about it. It won’t take long and then she can get back to dealing with whatever she’s got going on.”
“That’s not the problem here. If she talks to you about this, it’ll just stir up more shit for her and that isn’t something she wants.”
I frown. “What could be more important than helping someone else finally prove their innocence?”
She shoots me a dirty look. “Have you ever stopped to think that other people have stuff going on in their life that is just as bad to them as that?” Nodding at the door, she adds, “Just go. I’ll tell her you came by again but I wouldn’t hold my breath if I were you.”
“Make sure you do and also be sure to mention what I said about the police.” With that, I turn and leave, more frustrated than when I entered.
“Is that true?” Avery asks when we’re in the car.
“That I’ll go to the police?”
She nods.
“No. I believe what I said about her not being on shift that day but I have no proof except for the signatures in the sign-in book. I doubt the police would even look at it. Not when they already have a conviction for this crime.”
I turn the key in the ignition and move my hand to the gear stick, but Avery places her hand on mine, stopping me. “I’m so proud of you, Callie.”
I face her. “Why?”
“Because of everything you do and everything you are. I’m not sure I would have done what you did by giving up Luke, but I admire the hell out of that move. It showed me your heart and how good you are. There aren’t many pure people left in this world. I’m proud to have one as my bestie.”
Her words catch me off guard and I’m lost in the moment thinking about what she’s said. I don’t feel worthy of her declaration. I’m just doing what I would want
someone to do for me.
36
Luke
“George is coming for Christmas.”
I eye my mother. “Okay.” I couldn't care less who comes for Christmas. I’m only celebrating it for Sean. If it weren’t for him, I’d find a bottle of whisky and spend the day with it.
“Oh for God’s sake, you could show a little more emotion, Luke.” She reaches for the cocktail in front of her.
“What would you like? Tell me and I’ll be sure to show it.”
Avery steps around me to reach for the glasses near my hand. It’s Tuesday and the bar is dead at the moment, but that’s because it’s still early at just after six. “You’re a moody asshole when you’re going through a breakup.”
“No, I’m just a moody asshole, full stop,” I mutter.
She stops and raises a brow at me. “No, you’re not. You were nice for about four months there.”
“Have you heard from Callie?” Mum asks, shoving her empty glass at me.
I take the glass. “I’m not making you any more. And no, I haven’t heard from her and I don’t expect to and I don’t want to discuss this.” I resist the urge to throw the glass at the wall, and instead, place it down with as much restraint as I can manage.
“It’s been, what, three weeks now?” Mum continues hounding me about Callie.
“I told you this isn’t up for discussion.”
Mum scowls at me and directs her gaze at Avery. “Will you please make me another Cosmo, Avery? My son is being a bastard and refusing.”
Avery gives me a questioning look.
I exhale loudly trying to force my irritation out. “Oh for fuck’s sake, make her another drink. I’ve got some paperwork to sort out in the office. Come and get me if you need me.”
I stalk into the office and slam the door behind me. I’m wound so tightly tonight and can’t seem to get my shit under control. Then again, it’s no different to the last twenty-one days since Callie walked out of my life.
Taking a seat at my desk, I start going through the bills I need to pay. There aren’t many, though, because I’ve thrown myself into work over the past three weeks and am up-to-date in a way I have never been before.
When I’m done, I try to find something else that requires my attention. After ten minutes of fucking around, I give up and lean back in my chair. Scrubbing my face, I mutter, “Fuck.”
I stare at my phone sitting on the desk. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve reached for it to call Callie. But I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m a stubborn bastard and as much as it pisses me off, I have to keep reminding myself this is for the best. If I’m going to have any chance at holding onto my sanity, I need to keep Callie at arm’s length.
“Luke.” Avery knocks on the office door.
“Yeah.”
She opens the door. “Have you got a minute?”
“Sure.”
I take in the hesitation in her step as she comes towards me and I know this isn’t going to be a conversation I want to have.
She doesn’t sit; rather she stands. “How are you?”
I narrow my eyes. “How do you think I am, Avery?”
“Well, I think you’re angry and moody and not coping to be honest.”
“That about covers it.”
She takes a moment before saying, “Have you thought about changing your mind?”
“Yes, but I won’t.”
“Why? If you’re this unhappy and you’ve thought about it, why won’t you take that step back to her?”
I rub the back of my neck. “Fuck. Do we really need to be having this conversation?”
She sits. “Yes.”
I shake my head. “No, we don’t.”
“God, you are so baffling.”
“Are we done here?”
“No! You need to know that Callie is hurting as much as you are. Hell, she’s consuming Harvey at a rate I’ve never seen.”
I frown. “Who the fuck is Harvey?”
“Harvey from Suits. She only binges on him when she’s dying on the inside.”
I ignore the way my heart beats faster at this information. “She knows where I am if she wants to change her mind.”
“She’s not going to change her mind. This one will be up to you to fix.”
“And you know my position, so really, this conversation was not necessary.”
She stands. “You’ll regret this, Luke. I know you will.”
“Regret and I are old friends, Avery. I moved in with him years ago.”
With one last shake of her head, she stalks out of the office, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
And my whisky.
I reach for the bottle and pour a glass. The burn as it goes down is exactly what I’m looking for. Something to concentrate on besides the misery burning through me every fucking minute of every day.
37
Callie
I stare at the television, not seeing anything besides the blur of colours on the screen. Even Harvey isn’t fixing me and he always fixes me.
Dragging my laptop off the couch, I rest it on my lap and check my emails. Hopefully, Josef has replied to my last one. Avery meeting him all those months ago was a blessing in more ways than one. The scriptwriter from Los Angeles has become my online friend along with my own personal cheerleader. He loved my book and has been encouraging me to submit it. I’ve been editing it over the past few weeks as well as working on a new book. The words have been flowing onto the page just like my tears have been. Josef has also been teaching me screenwriting. He’s spent hours going back and forth with me showing me how he works and leading me to resources to improve my craft.
I smile when I see an email waiting for me from Josef. My heart starts beating faster as I read it and I pick up my phone so I can send Avery a text.
Me: Josef says he may have a job for me in LA working on a new TV show.
Avery: Holy fuck!
Me: Right?
Avery: Would you move?
Me: I don’t know.
Avery: Oh God, I would miss you
Me: I don’t know if I could do it but what an amazing opportunity if it happens. I’m not sure I could pass it up.
Avery: I don’t think you should.
Me: I’m going to email him back now but I just had to tell you that.
Avery: Keep me up to date.
It’s not until after I reply to Josef’s email that I allow the one thought to enter my mind that I’ve been holding back—the one reason that would stop me moving overseas.
Luke.
Christmas was hard on my own. I didn’t even make my annual trek to Melbourne to see my family. They protested but not for long. Avery asked me to come to her family lunch but I said no. I didn’t want to inflict my sadness on anyone. She spent Boxing Day with me and we watched romantic comedies, drank vodka and consumed way too much cheese, dips and crackers. It was my idea of the perfect day. She wasn’t convinced watching romantic comedies was what I needed but I assured her I wanted the hope they give me.
It’s been five weeks since Luke and I broke up. Six weeks since I’ve been trying to prove Jolene’s innocence. Neither situation sits right with me and while I know the breakup needs time to get over, I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever get to the bottom of Jolene’s case. I’m pretty sure she’s given up again, but I haven’t. I’m determined that losing Luke won’t be for nothing. That would kill me more than losing him has.
* * *
I phone Marion the next night after I finish work. She told me to call if I ever wanted to discuss Jolene and I figure it couldn’t hurt to get her opinion on my thoughts.
“Callie, how are you?”
“I’m good but I wondered if you might have a few minutes to spare so we could discuss Jolene Hardy’s murder case.”
“Sure. How are you going with it?”
“Not so great. I’m chasing a few leads up but I wanted to ask you if you ever considered a possible scenario of Jolene being s
et up by her sister for this murder? Or anyone else for that matter.”
“I did. And I do believe the sister could have done it. She had no alibi and just as much reason to want her mother dead. I always figured that whoever did it had to have known the mother to gain access to the motel room without a scene being made.”
“Yes, that’s what I’ve come up with too. I know the box of evidence that was found wasn’t around when you put this file together, but this box is perplexing. It almost seems too convenient, you know? And it really makes me look even closer at Glenda because, in my opinion, it had to have been buried by someone close to the family. You’d think their dog would have barked if a stranger had entered the yard to bury it.”
“That’s true. I haven’t ever given the box much thought but you make a lot of sens—” She’s cut off by someone near her and when she comes back she’s apologetic, “—shoot, sorry, Callie, I have to go. But if you want to talk some more I’m always here. Maybe send me a text and we can set up a time.”
“Thanks, Marion. I might take you up on that offer if I get stuck again.”
We end the call and I take a deep breath as I go over the conversation. We didn’t cover a lot but she at least confirmed my suspicion of Glenda wasn’t unwarranted.
