Hadley (The Club Girl Diaries Book 3)

by Addison Jane

  I moved the gun just slightly and pulled the trigger. A loud boom filled the room, and he ducked as splintered pieces of wall flew around us. “I’m a good shot.”

  “I know. I taught you.” He was no longer smiling and for a moment, I wondered if this would be the last moments of my life. I wondered what the news headlines would say, or whether the government would cover it up to protect one of their own.

  There was silence in the room for a long time before he slowly reached down and picked up his shirt off the floor, his eyes never leaving me, as if he was just waiting for me to make a mistake. But I wouldn’t. I followed his movements with the gun.

  “This isn’t over,” he said quietly.

  “Yes, it is. I don’t know who you are, but you’re not the man I married.”

  He shook his head. “I’m going to be king. And you’ll be my queen.”

  The way he spoke was like he couldn’t even hear what I was saying. He was in his own little world. Whatever was going on in his head it had taken over. There was no room for anything else.

  “Get out.”

  He walked backward toward the door, his eyes never leaving me for a second until he had disappeared. I held my aim there as I listened to his heavy footsteps move down the hall and the front door open and close.

  The sound of a Harley started outside and took off at speed down the street, and only then did I let myself fall apart.

  “Hadley?”

  I startled and Skins grabbed my arm to steady me, a soft look in his eyes as he allowed me time to come around.

  “Sorry,” I croaked, realizing that all the men were looking at me. “Yeah. He wanted me to go with him. He kept going on about him being king and me being his queen.”

  I looked over to Leo, who frowned. “We need more info.”

  Kit stepped forward. “Mansel might have some idea about the Shadow Syndicate. No gangs get by him unnoticed.”

  I didn’t know who Mansel was, but Optimus nodded. “Get a hold of him now. We’ll finish this later.” Op banged his fist on the table and ordered everyone out.

  I headed for my room, my stomach aching and turning. It was strange, but watching Simon walk out the door hadn’t exactly been upsetting. I was almost relieved, I guess. It’s a hard emotion to explain when you are just simply glad that things are over and done. Especially when, up to that point, there had never really been any sign that something was wrong.

  At first, I wondered if drugs had gotten to him. Then I wondered if he’d been faking it, and this was his way of keeping me out of harm. But when Judge finally explained about how sometimes when people saw the benefits of the dark, they find it hard to return to the light. I understood.

  He was never completely happy with his job. It didn’t give him the lifestyle he wanted. Not like he apparently had now.

  I sighed, reaching out for my door handle. But before I could grasp it, a hand gripped my shoulder.

  I didn’t turn.

  I knew who it was.

  “You wanna come for a ride?” he asked softly. His baritone filling the long empty hallway.

  I pulled my hand back from the door and answered without even turning to face him, “Yes.”

  “No bike?” Hadley asked as she followed me outside and across to my truck.

  “I’ve got to pick up Macy from her aunts,” I answered, pulling open the door and climbing inside. She did the same on the passenger’s side and pulled her seatbelt across her.

  “Her aunt have her a lot?”

  I nodded as I started the engine and pulled out of the gates and onto the road. “More than she should, I guess. It’s hard for me. With club business, shit isn’t always planned, and a lot of the time we’re pulled in at the last minute for things.”

  “What about the girls around the club? They help don’t they?” she asked.

  “Can’t keep asking them to look after Mace. Chelsea and Rose have their own kids and men to worry about.” My brothers’ old ladies were supportive and helpful. But it was time to start taking responsibility for my girl, rather than relying on them every time I was stuck. As much as Carly and I had our differences, Macy was her niece, and she’d do anything for her. It was her only connection to her sister.

  We pulled up to the big house and I turned to look at Hadley. She gave me a soft smile, and in that second I had to close my fist to stop myself from reaching out to touch her face. She was stunning. A natural beauty. She never wore a lot of makeup, and the clothes she wore were sexy in an understated way. She had on jeans with tears down the thighs that showed off slivers of tanned skin underneath. Those alone tempted me. My mind not satisfied with just a peek.

  “Come on.” We both climbed out, and she joined me as we walked up the path. I lowered my voice. “Carly can be harsh when it comes to club girls. Just ignore her.”

  Hadley didn’t say anything. I knew she’d be fine. Some of the girls felt like they needed to defend themselves when someone came at them with derogatory comments. Where others, like Hadley, were completely comfortable with who they were and didn’t care about others’ opinions of them or what they did. Those were the kind of girls who got a man’s attention.

  No brother wants a bitch who he’s gonna have to spend half his time reining in, and coping shit from his brothers about his woman’s loud fucking mouth. We wanted a woman who knew when to shut up, and knew when to speak up.

  I pushed through the door without knocking and called out, “Hello!”

  “Kitchen!” came Carly’s reply.

  Hadley pulled the door closed behind her and followed me down the hall to the kitchen area. Carly looked up when we entered, her eyes narrowing as Hadley stepped around me to my side.

  “Carly, this is Hadley.”

  Hadley gave a small wave and smile. “Nice to meet you.”

  Carly didn’t respond. Instead, her eyes moved to me with a dark glare. “She a club whore?”

  “Carly,” I growled sternly. “Don’t start.”

  But she did. “What you do at that place is your business. But bringing them here to my home… around my kids? Are you mental?”

  “Hadwee!” Macy’s small voice crowed as she bounced into the room and threw herself at Hadley.

  “Hey, sweet pea,” Hadley cooed, kneeling down and tickling Macy’s chin.

  “Come pway!” Hadley looked up at me, and I nodded.

  She took Macy’s hand and let my little girl lead her away babbling on about things even I couldn’t understand through her excitement.

  “You gotta be so rude?” I snapped as Carly went back to busying herself with a mixing bowl and a wooden spoon.

  She scoffed. “This is my house, Leo. You bring a whore in here, and expect me to be polite and ask her how her day’s been?”

  “If she’s with me, you can fucking respect her,” I told her sternly. “Hadley is a sweet girl and doesn’t deserve to be treated like shit. And Macy adores her. What if she heard you saying crap about her?”

  Carly stopped stirring and looked up at me. “Jesus Christ, Leo. You aren’t falling for her, are you?”

  The question stopped me in my tracks. Just as I was about to tell her no, my mind screamed out, you liar. I didn’t have to bring her with me to pick up Macy. I knew Carly would be a bitch about it, and she wasn’t one to hold back when it came to her opinion.

  Optimus had put me in charge of Hadley’s safety, but he could have assigned the boys at the clubhouse to watch her. It actually would have been simpler, and possibly safer to do that than to drag her out with me. She would have been safe there. But something told me that I needed her with me, that I didn’t want my brothers watching her.

  Or touching her.

  If she was with me, away from the clubhouse, they couldn’t have her. Or use her body.

  I clenched my jaw.

  What the fuck was I doing?

  “Hey, Mom? Can you come help me with this homework?” Denver called from the top of the stairs.

  Carly continue
d to watch me curiously as she wiped her hands on her apron and took it off. “Don’t be an idiot, Leo.”

  I didn’t reply, knowing that if I did, things could get ugly quickly. I let her leave, then went in search of the girls, wanting to get out of here as quickly as possible before I really lost my head.

  I stopped outside the door to the family room, hearing voices giggle inside.

  “We’re studying New Zealand for geography,” I heard Meyah say.

  “Oh, I’ve been there, a couple years ago now,” Hadley answered cheerfully. “It really is beautiful.”

  “Does it really look like the pictures?” Meyah asked curiously. “My teacher said that it probably doesn’t. They’re just marketing pictures and are always made to look nicer than it is so that people want to visit.”

  I smiled at how comfortable their conversation seemed. It made me proud to know that Meyah hadn’t grown up with her mother’s prejudice toward others. I wasn’t sure why Carly was the way she was. She judged quickly and felt like she had to protect the people she loved from some kind of evil lurking outside their doors.

  It had only become more intense since Kim died, and I knew Kim wouldn’t have liked seeing her lock herself away to the opportunities and life outside the small bubble she’d created.

  “I got my first tattoo in New Zealand,” Hadley said, and my eyes brightened in surprise. I searched my memory, trying to figure out whether I’d seen a tattoo on her body. I thought I’d memorized every part of her, but obviously I’d missed something. My jeans tightened as I thought about discovering her all over again, covering her body and driving her crazy as I went in search for the mysterious tattoo.

  “I really want to get a tattoo,” Meyah admitted. I frowned. “I always remember when Uncle Leo would come to visit. All his bright tattoos. They were so vibrant and beautiful...” she cleared her throat and lowered her voice, “…but since Aunt Kim died, they got so dark.”

  I looked down at my arm. I had a full sleeve on one side. I’d started in just after I left the military and came home to Kim. There was a jungle at the top, bright flowers and leaves with a tiger bursting through.

  Meyah wasn’t wrong. Over the last few years, I’d lost the passion that I once had for creating something beautiful, and I’d let my emotions take over, not thinking that I deserved or wanted to look down and see the striking colors that I once had. Instead, beneath my elbow was mostly colored in blacks and grays. There was a desert road with a signpost. But there were no names on the signs, no way of knowing which way to go, which way may lead back to happiness.

  “Tattoos can mean a lot. Express how someone’s feeling, or something in their life they want to remember. Make sure you think hard about what you want. And maybe start off small,” Hadley explained to Meyah. “And don’t try to get anything before you’re eighteen. Because—”

  “Then me and your mother would have to fight over who gets to strangle you first,” I finished, stepping into the room.

  Hadley and Meyah both looked up at me and smiled. Macy was over in the corner playing with some dolls. “Come on, kid, let’s go.”

  She began putting the dolls away happily as Hadley pushed off the sofa. Meyah followed, walking over to give me a hug. I frowned, wrapping my arms around her tiny frame. “You all right, kid?”

  She nodded against my chest. “This is for you, not me.”

  I smirked as she pulled back and looked up at me. “You think I don’t get enough hugs?”

  She giggled. “I can’t imagine all you guys hang around the clubhouse and cuddle when someone’s upset.”

  Hadley laughed. “You’d be surprised.”

  Meyah’s eyes brightened. “Oh really.” She turned to Hadley and whispered, “Next time bring pictures.”

  “All right now, that’s about enough from you two,” I said, scruffing Meyah’s hair and lifting Macy into my arms. “Tell your mom I said thanks, and I’ll see you guys later.”

  I saw the conspiring look between the two girls as I followed them to the front door. “Nice to meet you,” Meyah said with a wave.

  “You too, Meyah.” Hadley grinned back.

  We piled Macy in the car and pulled out of the driveway.

  “She’s a cool kid,” Hadley said as we drove down the road, Macy singing happily in the back seat.

  I nodded. “She’s mature for seventeen. Got her head screwed on right.”

  “Carly really doesn’t like the club? Or she just doesn’t like the girls?” Hadley asked curiously.

  “Bit of both,” I answered. “She’s never been a fan. Thinks every guy is there to screw you over, and every girl who isn’t in a relationship is only around to steal other women’s men.”

  Hadley sighed. “So in other words, she got fucked over before and hasn’t moved on.”

  “Pretty much.”

  “Maybe she needs to get laid.”

  I laughed. “You think?”

  She nodded enthusiastically. “Absolutely. Which of the boys do you think we could hook her up with?”

  My laughter only got louder. “You want to hook her up with a brother?”

  “The way I see it, they’re the only kind of men who could handle a woman with an attitude that big. Oh… Kev. He’s about her age.” Hadley went on to explain just how she would set them up together. I zoned out after a few minutes, not too much caring about what she was saying, but just enjoying the sound of her voice. I couldn’t help but smile, though.

  It was easy with Hadley.

  Macy loved her.

  My brothers respected her.

  She was strong and confident in who she was.

  She didn’t need compliments or reassurance. She was just who she was, and she made no apologies for that.

  Fuck.

  Maybe Carly was right.

  We pulled up to the clubhouse, but I kept the motor running. Hadley looked at me, the smile she’d had the whole way home dropping from her face. “You’re not coming in?”

  I shook my head. “Can you watch over Macy for a bit? Any of the brothers come around, tell them I said you’re babysitting so they’ll have to come back later.”

  Another excuse to keep the men away from her.

  “I know I’m not meant to ask, ‘cause it’s none of our business. But where are you going?”

  I cringed at her words. She’s right. Club girls don’t get to ask questions. But she had, and I’d answer her honestly. “Need to visit my wife.”

  She nodded and quickly exited, gathering Macy and brought her around to the driver’s side window so I could give her a kiss and tell her I’d be back soon.

  Macy was happy to go with Hadley, the bond they were forming was obvious. I swallowed tightly as I put the truck in reverse and pulled out. I needed to talk to Kim. My head was going crazy, and I just needed to let it all out. I needed her to hear me and give me some kind of sign that what I was feeling was okay. Because a few weeks ago, I could have never comprehended ever wanting to replace her in my life. Things weren’t perfect, but I was content.

  But now, I had no fucking idea what was happening.

  And it scared the shit out of me.

  I pulled into the cemetery and switched the engine off.

  I didn’t move.

  I could see her stone from where I sat, Carly always made sure it had fresh flowers along with her parents’ stones that stood proudly beside her. They were all together with one thing in common, they’d left this life too soon.

  Grabbing the door handle, I pulled it slowly, the door quietly popping open. The noise of birds chirping filled my ears, the cemetery surrounded by big stunning trees. I took a deep breath as I walked toward her headstone.

  I didn’t come here often, I wasn’t even sure why. Maybe I felt like it was easier to remember her in my head than it was to come down here and be reminded that she was in the ground beneath me, rotting away. I inhaled through my nose as I finally came to a stop, the gravestone with her name etched into it, a harsh reminder of
the reality I faced.

  “Fuck I miss you,” I muttered, wondering why I didn’t feel strange talking to a concrete slab sticking out of the ground. “I still don’t understand.”

  Pulling my wallet from my back pocket, I slipped out her picture and dropped onto the ground, bending my knees and resting my arms on them. I held her photo out in front of me, her smiling face caused the corner of my mouth to twitch up.

  It was her graduation photo. Her cap sat on her head, slightly tilted to the side, and her hair hung in ringlets around her face. I couldn’t help the smile that formed, as I remembered hiding her hair straightener that morning. She hated her curls, but I loved them. The way they felt as I tangled my fingers through them, how they effortlessly bounced back into place when I teased her and tugged on them.

  “Macy’s got your curls,” I told her quietly. “They’re just like yours. Same color and everything.”

  I stared at the picture, half of me expecting her to laugh. But the smile stayed stoic. The picture the same since the day I took it.

  “She reminds me so much of you. Always laughing and singing…” I swallowed against the lump in my throat, “…it feels good. Knowing I have her means I’ll always have a reminder of you. I don’t want to ever forget you.”

  I felt horrible saying those words, but it was the truth. I was scared of my feelings for Hadley because I feared that moving on would mean leaving Kim behind.

  “I’ve…” I cleared my throat, unable to find the words. “I’ve never wanted anyone but you. And now…”

  A stabbing pain hit me in the chest. I ground my teeth as I stared at the picture, into the eyes of the woman who I stood up and promised to love forever.

  “It’s bad enough you’ve had to watch me fucking around with other women these past couple years,” I said, my voice tense with disgust in myself. “But my heart, or whatever the fuck was left of it that you didn’t take with you, was always reserved for you.”

  I hung my head between my arms, disappointed in myself and ashamed that I even thought that maybe someone else could take her place.