Allie's War Season Two

by JC Andrijeski

  I felt my lips purse, in spite of myself. I turned it into a smile and shrug.

  “She seems to be wearing you down, too, brother...” I murmured.

  Balidor glanced over sharply at this.

  Seeing my quirked eyebrow above my smile, he didn’t smile in return. Instead, I saw his throat move in a swallow, just before he looked away. He gazed down the same cascade of white stone steps as me.

  “Does it matter?” he asked bluntly.

  I was surprised to hear bitterness in his voice. I looked up at him, and found the gray eyes studying mine once more. Those same eyes focused briefly on my mouth.

  “‘Dori,” I breathed. “...Don’t.”

  His jaw hardened, just before the look in his eyes changed again. For an instant I saw emotion there, more than he usually showed, even when we were alone.

  “I told you,” I said, softer still. “From the beginning, I told you...”

  He gestured a short acknowledgement with one hand, but I saw his eyes brighten. It was gone in a single blink...but I felt my own throat close as I tried to decide if I’d seen it at all.

  I was about to try again, when Jon’s voice rose from my other side.

  “Be careful, you two,” he said, his words taut.

  I glanced at Jon, feeling my skin flush, just before my hands tightened at my sides.

  Damn him for hearing and seeing everything all the time...and drawing his own conclusions without bothering to ask me. The last thing I needed was him thinking something was going on with me and Balidor, too...especially in front of Revik.

  But then, Voi Pai seemed to have deliberately planted the seed in everyone’s mind since that first day we got there.

  I saw where Jon’s eyes were trained.

  Following them down the staircase and over the bridge to the expanse of white stone beyond, I stopped when I saw the small crowd waiting for us.

  They stood near the bridges, all the way on the other side of the courtyard. Two forms stood out from the rest of the entourage, surrounded in a half-circle by servants, some of whom held sun shades and umbrellas. The forms appeared black against the white bricks, although bits of color showed as sunlight caught silk wrappings and scarves.

  My throat closed tighter still.

  I couldn’t make out faces, and the collar prevented a real scan, but I knew who it had to be. Balidor stepped to Jon’s other side silently, continuing to walk until he stood on the other side of Baguen.

  I found myself glad that he had done so before we entered the sunlight.

  Glancing first at Jon, then at Cass past him, I nodded to them.

  “All right,” I muttered under my breath. “Here we go.”

  We all seemed to step out into the sun at roughly the same time.

  I found I wanted to clasp Jon’s hand, but decided that might not be a good idea, either. Instead, I let my hands fall to my sides, and concentrated on watching my slippered feet on the stairs so I wouldn’t trip on the long dress.

  It seemed to take forever and no time at all to cross the long, white courtyard. The polished stone reflected the sun, making it feel like a desert despite the beauty of the surroundings. I felt the smoothness of the courtyard floor through the lightly padded slippers, looking at without really seeing the pagoda-like buildings to either side, surrounded by denser gardens and smaller courtyards filled with trees. All of it blurred past me, though. My mind couldn’t take any of it in, other than to pause here and there on some particularly sharp detail.

  My breath hurt in my chest, my heart. I felt guilt now, too, after the interaction with Balidor...and with that, my mind filled with self-doubt, about what I was doing, what I thought I could do.

  I didn’t want to hurt Revik. I still feared him in some ways, and he angered me in others, but I couldn’t pretend that was even close to all of it.

  I’d been waiting for this day...half the time, I’d been impatient for its arrival...but I found myself similarly unprepared to see him. Despite the glimmers I’d gotten over the last however-many weeks, I had no real idea of what I’d be facing in him...meaning Revik in the flesh. Seers, and even humans, inevitably felt different in real life than they did with their aleimi alone. Our Barrier interactions gave me an indication of his feelings, but almost none at all about how they might manifest when I saw him.

  So much seemed to have changed since I’d seen him last, but I had no idea if I’d created that in my mind, as well. Both of us felt a million miles away from where we’d been before he’d shot that boy in the White House...much less before Terian grabbed me out of that cabin in the mountains.

  I felt so disconnected from him in some ways, but in others...

  I fought it out of my light, concentrating on the last time I’d seen him.

  I had to assume the worst. I had to expect that he hadn’t changed significantly from that time, when he’d mass-murdered a bunch of humans.

  But I didn’t quite believe that, either. The letter had been a side of him I’d been unprepared for. I had a feeling this might be, yet again.

  I just had no idea in which direction I would be surprised.

  As we got closer, I found myself looking at him, almost without my willing it. The closer we got, the harder it was to look away.

  He looked thinner of course, from the last time I’d seen him...but not as much as I’d halfway expected. From the weight loss, his face had narrowed again, appearing more angular, but the t-shirt he wore fit snug against his chest and shoulders, only looking looser around his waist and stomach, and even there not as much as I might have expected. He’d obviously worked to build his weight back up...at least if he’d lost anywhere near as much as I had.

  I knew I was distracting myself from really seeing him though, focusing overly on details.

  When I glanced up, I saw his pale eyes on my face.

  He seemed to take in the dress at a glance, but his eyes were back on mine in a heartbeat. His hair was longer again than the last time I’d seen him, and he wore a straight coat that looked expensive over dark jeans that did, as well.

  He looked really damned good, actually.

  As I thought it, I saw his expression grow slightly less hard.

  Abruptly, he looked at the woman standing next to him. She always seemed tall to me before, but I noticed now that Revik still had a few inches on her.

  Even as I thought it, the seer guards who escorted us to the meeting bowed to Revik, seemingly moving as one.

  So did Dorje, I noticed...and Baguen.

  Only Balidor remained standing as he was, his arms at his sides.

  I glanced at the woman, Voi Pai, seeing that Balidor stared at her, too. Only then did I notice her eyes on me. She looked at Balidor a moment later, only to return that predatory gaze back to mine. It occurred to me again, as I measured that stare, that she wasn’t my biggest fan.

  When I glanced at Revik again, his expression had hardened once more. I saw his eyes flicker to Balidor, right before he spoke to Voi Pai.

  “May I address her?” he said.

  The woman bowed, her eyes holding a faint humor as they met mine. In that moment, I really hated her.

  “Of course, Illustrious Sword,” she said, indicating towards me.

  I stepped forward, but she held up a hand to me.

  “Wait to be asked, Esteemed Bridge.”

  Revik glared at her, his eyes holding murder. “Fuck you,” he snapped. “And keep your goddamned eyes below my wife’s...”

  In that moment, I could have kissed him.

  He looked at me, then, hesitating. His eyes were guarded again. I saw them flicker to Balidor, then return to my face.

  “Alyson...do you want to come with me?”

  “Yes,” I said, without hesitation.

  I saw a reaction on his face. He covered it with the mask a millisecond later, but it brought a pain to my chest in spite of myself.

  “Revik,” I said. “Please don’t hurt my friends. Please.”

  He l
ooked at me. I saw him thinking behind the mask, but his eyes flickered to Balidor again. He held out his hand a second later, his fingers extended to me.

  “Come here, Allie...please.”

  “Promise me,” I said, holding my ground. “Promise me you won’t. Please.”

  His throat moved in a swallow. I saw him glance again at Balidor. Conflict whispered over his expression.

  “He’s a risk to you, Allie,” he said finally.

  “He’s not. None of them are. Please...”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do! They’re my friends. Please trust me on this...”

  His jaw hardened more. He looked at me, then at Balidor. I saw his eyes grow colder before they met the Adhipan leader’s gaze directly.

  “Would you shoot my wife again, if you thought it your duty?”

  “Revik, don’t—”

  “Yes,” Balidor said promptly.

  “Would you shoot her to get at me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Would you kill her, for the same reason?”

  “Yes,” Balidor said.

  “Goddamn it, ‘Dori!” I snapped, turning on him. “Shut up!”

  When I looked back at Revik, I saw anger in his eyes for real.

  “You want me to spare this piece of shit? Why, Allie?”

  “He’s my friend...” Feeling something off Revik, I glanced at Balidor. “Revik, he’s a friend. He’s not going to hurt me...”

  Revik’s voice turned cold. “Well he hates me, so that’s new. Idealism I felt before. Disgust even...but not hate.” He stared at the other male. “What changed, ‘Dori?” He gave me a hard look as he said the nickname.

  Balidor shook his head, clicking loudly.

  I stepped forward, holding out a hand to each of them.

  “Please,” I said. “Revik, please...I’m asking you. Don’t hurt my friends. Let’s just go, please. This is stupid...it’s beneath you...”

  He seemed about to speak, then didn’t.

  “Revik,” I said, taking another step towards him. “He’s not a threat to you. You’re my husband. I want to go with you. Let them go...please...”

  He looked at me, his colorless eyes like glass.

  I felt the light around him de-charge...enough that my shoulders relaxed slightly, but not entirely. I stepped closer to him again, until his eyes left the others, focusing only on me. Once I was close enough, I realized I could see something in him, beyond the anger and the frustration at me...beyond his anger at Balidor, and even the reaction to seeing me in the flesh again.

  I could see him again, I realized.

  A fissure had formed, somewhere. Whatever it was, whatever had done it, it was letting more of him through. I saw the Revik I knew behind his eyes, like sparks of clarity...and I found myself staring at what I saw, unable to look away, despite the anger that greeted me over it.

  He swallowed, studying me just as carefully.

  When I took another step towards him, he averted his gaze. His eyes swiveled to Voi Pai, who still stood next to him.

  I noticed she had bowed as Revik commanded. She stared at me, too, her expression holding a clinical interest. I saw the thread of covetousness there, too....like I was an object she wanted, but hadn’t quite figured out how to afford. I truly didn’t know what her deal was with me, but whatever it was, it was starting to piss me off.

  I saw Revik’s jaw harden.

  “Take that fucking collar off her,” he said.

  There was barely a pause before Voi Pai’s bow deepened.

  “Of course, Illustrious Sword,” she murmured.

  Still bowing to keep her eyes below mine, she gave some kind of instruction in Mandarin to the group of servants standing behind her. The nearest of these stepped forward at once, holding a small, hand-held organic tool I recognized. Bowing to me nervously, he carefully fitted the collar into the circular groove between two blades...all the while fighting to keep his eyes below mine as he worked.

  Seconds later, he squeezed the handles together.

  There was a faint crack in my ears...followed by a wetter tearing sound.

  The servant worked carefully to get the collar off. He pulled the prongs out of the holes the collar created by burrowing into the back of my neck, where a part of it had wrapped around my spine. Dead, the tendrils on the bone unraveled, and the servant pulled it carefully off me.

  I sucked in a breath as it went, shuddering a little at the feel of the tentacle-like strands against bare bone...

  Then it was gone.

  My light slowly melted back around me.

  Like before, the change didn’t occur all at once. It was like the dimmer switch being turned up gradually in a room.

  I found myself standing in front of Revik, really seeing him.

  His eyes glowed faintly, and I saw emotion there, too. Grief below that anger, a kind of confusion that felt almost paralyzing as he looked at me. I saw even more of him now than I had a few seconds before.

  I hadn’t been imagining it; I could feel him in my light, all around me.

  Without thinking, I crossed the few steps remaining between us, and threw my arms around him.

  He flinched, taking a half-step back.

  Then he held me in return, sliding his arms around me almost tentatively. For a long moment, neither of us moved.

  Slowly, he withdrew from the embrace.

  I saw him avoid my eyes as he looked out over the watching seers.

  “Allie,” he said. He cleared his throat, glancing down at where I still gripped his jacketed arm. “Allie...I’ve asked them to provide an escort out of the City for you. Could you please meet me at the gate? I won’t be long.”

  I felt my elation falter.

  “Revik...” I said.

  “Please, Allie.”

  I followed his eyes, glancing at my friends. I paused on Jon, then Cass. I looked at Dorje too, standing next to Jon...then did a double-take. Now that I had my sight back, I saw a cord of light running from him to Jon, as plain as day.

  I scanned it briefly. Then I scanned it with more intent.

  When I stopped, I saw Dorje smiling at me, even as he shrugged with one hand, taking Jon’s fingers in his.

  Jesus. Jon had a boyfriend. Why was I always the last to know?

  I looked again at Revik.

  “Please,” I said to him. “Let’s just go, Revik, please...don’t do this...”

  Hesitating, he looked at me. I saw tiredness in his eyes, mixed with emotions I still couldn’t quite pinpoint, that grew more complex the longer I stared at them. I saw him look at Jon too, and frown when he saw him standing there with Dorje. His eyes moved to Cass and Baguen...then to Tenzin and Illeg.

  “Revik,” I said, softer. “Please, baby...” I felt him flinch again at the endearment. “...Please. Let’s just go. This doesn’t matter...”

  “Trust me, Allie,” he said.

  When he looked down, his expression held more of a frown, but I found myself reassured somehow, at what I saw in his face.

  He touched my cheek, so lightly his fingers were gone before I felt them.

  “Trust me, Allie,” he said, softer.

  His eyes shifted to the gate behind where we stood. I followed them again, and saw the escort standing there, waiting for me.

  “He’ll take you to the front gate,” he said again. “Please. Trust me...I need you to go now. Someone’s waiting for you outside...”

  “Who?” I said.

  “A friend.”

  Swallowing, I gave my friends in the courtyard another look. “Revik—”

  “I won’t hurt them, Allie. I won’t. Please trust me...”

  I hesitated again, looking up at him. Then I nodded, feeling a fear come over me that clenched my fingers on Revik’s arm. Even knowing I put him in more danger by doing it, I risked a glance at Balidor.

  His light gray eyes met mine, but his expression didn’t move.

  I looked up at Revik. I saw him lo
oking at Balidor too.

  “Revik—” I began.

  “Alyson,” he said, still staring at Balidor. “Go. Please.”

  I didn’t move, still clutching his arm. I watched his face, seeing in his eyes and light that same confused ebb and flow as he stared out over the courtyard. I felt him prodding my light, and for the first time, I felt the worry on him, and realized he might have other reasons for wanting me out of there. He didn’t trust Voi Pai to keep her word. He wanted me outside the gates.

  Hesitating a last instant, I looked at Jon, then let my eyes linger on Cass, realizing how long it had been since we’d really talked. I felt my throat close, feeling suddenly like I might never see them again. I smiled stiffly at Jon, feeling tears come to my eyes right before I turned abruptly, walking fast to meet up with the seer escort who bowed deeply before me.

  I didn’t look back.

  Clenching my hands into fists, I headed straight for the stone bridges that led over the canal and to the doors that took me back to the real world outside.

  I DON’T REMEMBER much until we reached the gardens. Outside the giant, u-shaped Meridian Gate, as my escort called it, the view finally snapped me out of my own head. A lake of flowers bloomed down a low, rolling hill, cows grazing in another corner of the field at a near distance. Rows of vegetables and fruit trees stood on the other side of a fenced enclosure, and I saw a greenhouse there as well, just as I’d been told, and wished I could go inside for even just a few minutes, to smell all the plants. The dense wash of trees, as well as the different shrubs, flowers, ferns and grasses made the potted greenery of much of the inside city seem barren in comparison.

  Even so, I walked on the path in a daze, looking between the hanging willows, following birds as they darted back and forth in twisting clumps through the air. It didn’t help that my light became quickly submerged...almost drunk with sensation as I adjusted to its return to my body after being strangled for so long by the collar.