Who Let the Dogma Out (The Elven Prophecy Book 1)

by Theophilus Monroe

  “How did that feel?” Layla asked.

  “I don’t know,” I said. “My emotions are mixed. I feel bad for him, but part of me feels vindicated in some perverse way. It also made me realize that we need to do something.”

  “We still have several weeks until the full moon. We have more time to practice.”

  I took a deep breath and sat down on the couch. Layla resumed her yoga, or Ioga as she called it. She progressed through a sequence of motions. It was sexy as hell. Not at all like the comedy of errors my attempts had been.

  “I don’t want to practice anymore,” I said. “At a certain point, you have to act. I think we need to try now. If I can’t do it yet, as you said, we still have time. But at least then we’ll have some idea how much more practice I need to be ready to charge the Blade.”

  Layla rolled over and crossed her legs. “I suppose there’s logic to that. If we wait until the last minute and fail…”

  “What’s the worst that can happen?” I asked. “I mean, we’re prepared this time.”

  It was decided. We were going to the springs the next morning before I had to work. First, we stopped by a scuba supply place and purchased a wet suit and an air tank.

  After my last time diving into the spring, I wasn’t about to do it again without the proper gear.

  Yes, I bought it on credit. Maybe I could return it after this was over. Still, I figured with what was at stake, a few points on my credit score were probably worth the sacrifice.

  I might be a little reckless at times, like when I tried to save Layla in the alley. That was what had set off this chain of events. If I hadn’t done that, who knows what would have happened in the end?

  There was a time to act, and this was one of those times. But I didn’t have to be an idiot about it. This was a situation that allowed for reasonable preparations to be made. And all the preparations had been made.

  “I think you’re right,” Layla said. “If we leave right away, we can probably make it before dark.”

  “Good,” I said. “Because unless I fly again, I’m not inclined to trek through those woods in the dark again. Snakes like the dark.”

  Layla laughed. “You know, if you got bitten, I could heal you.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “Like you did when I got stabbed. I’m grateful for that, but it still hurt like hell. Sure, you would heal me, but I’m not eager to go taking knives to the gut again anytime soon, either.”

  Layla grinned. “All right, I suppose that makes sense.”

  Our drive to Meramec Spring was less eventful than the last time. No elven giants in the rearview mirror. No flat tires. Thankfully, I’d managed to get my previous tire replaced. They wanted to replace all four. Tread depth should match, they said. I called their bluff and bought the one. It was all I could afford. I’m no mechanic or anything, but I figured the whole unequal-tread-depth-will-destroy-your-transmission scare was just an attempt to make me spend more money.

  Maybe not. I could be wrong. I’d probably invest in new tires later. Provided the elves didn’t take over the world before then. If that happened, I’d have bigger problems to worry about than tires with mismatched tread.

  We pulled into the same gravel lot where we’d parked before. No fisherman was there this time.

  It wasn’t dark yet, but the crickets had already started chirping. Crickets and tree frogs. Other than that, I heard only the sound of the wind whistling through the trees.

  The air was thick. Humidity was par for the course in Missouri. Having grown up here, I was used to it, but this was worse than usual. I half-wondered if my magic was capable of sprouting a pair of gills. It would probably be easier to breathe that way.

  We grabbed the wet suit and small tank from the trunk and made our way through the woods. I wanted to fly again, but Layla suggested I save my energies, my focus, for the dive.

  I slipped on a pair of cowboy boots.

  No, I don’t normally wear cowboy boots. It was a pair I still had from years ago. I think I was nineteen or twenty when I bought them. I was trying to impress a girl back in college who liked to go line dancing. My attempt at that was anything but impressive. A genuine country boy managed to lure her instead. They met at the country music club I took her to, and they danced together all night, two-stepping, twirling, whatever. I was country-cuckolded, and all I had to show for it was a hangover and this pair of boots.

  Not particularly comfortable, but good for guarding against snakebite. That is why they go up so far on the leg. At least, that was what I assumed. Why else would a cowboy put up with sweaty calves?

  Once we made it to the spring, it dawned on me that changing into my wetsuit in front of Layla was going to be awkward.

  “You mind turning around?” I asked.

  “Do I have to?” Layla smirked.

  I stared at her blankly. “Not unless you want to wait until dark.”

  Look, I suppose I hoped that eventually, she’d see me in the buff. She probably had already, at least most of me, the night she healed me. I mean, she’d changed my clothes, but let’s face it. Compared to her, I wasn’t a paragon of physical fitness. And watching me naked in the woods trying to struggle my way into a wetsuit was bound to be hilarious.

  Layla was still laughing as she turned.

  “No peeking!”

  From the way her shoulders were shaking, I was pretty sure she was stifling more laughter.

  It was nothing compared to the hilarity that was ensuing as I hopped on one leg, trying to force my sweaty leg into the leg of my suit. It would have been easier if I sat down, but I didn’t want to sit bare-assed in the weeds and leaves.

  I’ve had ticks and chigger bites in the nether regions before, and it’s no fun. Sit in the weeds, and I’d be sure to get bit by something. I don’t know why, but bugs that bite seem to enjoy human crotches.

  I hopped on one leg as I finally managed to get one leg in.

  Layla could hear me stumbling around. “You know, Caspar, yoga is also great for improving your balance.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind. You know, for the next time I decide to change into a wet suit outside.”

  The second leg was a little easier than the first. Experience mattered.

  Still, the whole ordeal was anything but graceful. Once both legs were in, the rest was a breeze.

  I zipped the suit up.

  Layla turned. “You look fantastic.”

  “Don’t lie. Did we have to get a purple wet suit? I look like Grimace.”

  Layla smirked. I didn’t know if she recognized the name of the McDonald’s character, but she was amused. “Or Barney the Dinosaur.”

  “You barely know a thing about Star Wars, but in your research of Earth culture, you managed to catch Barney and Friends?”

  Layla shrugged. “It has a catchy tune.”

  I smiled. “How about a great big hug and a kiss from me to you?”

  “How could I resist?” Layla said as she stepped toward me, placed the imitation Blade of Echoes in my hand, and kissed me on the lips.

  I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her back.

  Then I realized, as I started to get excited, that I was in a tight-fitting suit and was about to embarrass myself.

  I broke away from the kiss. “Maybe we can finish that when I get back?”

  “I’ll be looking forward to it,” she said with a wink.

  She helped me strap on my tank. “All right, so I just need to focus. Swim down as deep as I can and plunge the Blade into the deepest part of the spring?”

  Layla nodded. “And visualize Earth’s magic filling its form. This Blade might not be able to hold as much as the original, but even the Blade of Echoes was just a common knife before it was invested with magic. Draw in enough that you visualize the Blade turning blue. Just in your mind’s eye. That should be enough to convince Hector it’s the real thing.”

  “All right,” I said. “Now I just need to get these flippers on, and I’ll be good to go.”
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  Chapter Thirty-Four

  It had been a while since I’d done any scuba diving. I wasn’t certified or anything. I’d taken a scuba tour on my honeymoon in the Bahamas. I squeezed my nose and cleared my ears as best I could as I swam deeper.

  The suit was surprisingly effective at keeping me relatively warm, considering how cold the water was. Springs are always cold. Even if it was the middle of summer, the water would be cold, and it was late enough in the fall that the stores already had Christmas decorations for sale. What I’d experienced last time had been paralyzing. With the suit, it was still pretty chilly but not unbearable.

  I was glad we’d done our research and preparation.

  I kicked my legs the best I could. The thing about flippers, kick too hard, too fast, it doesn’t work so well. Long, deliberate but forceful kicks. At least, that was what I’d discovered in my limited experience with flippers.

  I pinched my nose and cleared my ears again. I was getting close to the bottom, to the source, to the ley line.

  I wasn’t sure if it was the magic I felt, what Layla called Awen, or if the coldness was finally getting to me through my suit. Might have been a combination of both.

  It was a tingle, but not the sort I felt in my legs when I was on the toilet, surfing the net on my phone for too long. More like the tingle you feel when the chiropractor sticks those electric stim devices on your back, forcing your muscles to twitch and spasm in response.

  The closer I got to the source, the more intense the sensation was.

  I found the spot that felt the strongest, closed my eyes, and visualized the magic bubbling up with the water from the source of the spring. It was like a brilliant golden liquid, thick at the source, then dissipating in the water.

  I visualized the magic enveloping the Blade. It glowed with Awen.

  There was something black, something dark, deep within the source. I tried to peer at it using my mind’s eye. What was I seeing? The shadow was growing and expanding.

  Then something burst out of the magic, grabbed my wrist, and wrested the Blade from my grip.

  In my mind’s eye, it was just a shadow.

  When I opened my eyes, I saw a hand, brownish-green and strong, then the rest of his arm and his body. It was B’iff.

  With a strong kick against the floor of the spring, he shot out of the water like a rocket. I took a deep breath from my oxygen tank and kicked toward the surface.

  He had the Blade! Yes, it was the fake, but we needed it.

  I reached the surface just in time to see B’iff take off through the woods. Layla was lying on the ground, unconscious.

  “No!” I shouted. “You son of a bitch!”

  I don’t know what I expected. Of course, he didn’t respond.

  I checked Layla’s pulse. It was strong. I placed my cheek against her face. She was breathing. I put my hand on her head.

  It didn’t take much. I closed my eyes and visualized her awake.

  Her eyes opened the moment I opened my own.

  “Layla, it was B’iff!”

  “I know,” Layla said, grimacing and rubbing her forehead with her fingers. “I thought it was you, leaping toward the surface. The water distorted the image, so I couldn’t tell. Then he burst out of the water and collided with me. I think I hit my head on a rock or something.”

  “Well, I charged the Blade, but he took it.”

  “Damn,” Layla said. “We needed that. I mean, we could try to find Fred. See if he could make us another one.”

  “But isn’t the Renaissance Faire over now?” I asked. “I think the flyer when we went said it was the last weekend.”

  Layla nodded. “But the cult still meets.”

  I shook my head. “Is that the best approach? Think about it. We are the only ones who know the Blade he has isn’t the original.”

  Layla scratched her head. “He’ll be as eager to take it back to New Albion on the full moon as Hector would be.”

  I nodded. “We might not be able to give the fake Blade to Hector in exchange for Agnus, but we won’t need to. B’iff will bring it to him for us.”

  Layla took a deep breath. “It’s risky. We were betting on Hector being in a hurry to cut and run with the Blade, no pun intended. Just enough magic to deceive him until he left. But B’iff will have time with the fake Blade. What if he discovers it’s not real?”

  I protested, “He’ll come after us.”

  Layla shook her head. “Not likely because he’ll figure that we have the real Blade. And as far as he knows, we plan to bring it back to New Albion to deliver to my father. One way or another, whether he finds out the truth or not, he’ll be there when we confront Hector at the full moon.”

  I heard something like a twig snapping. I turned. The sun had gone down, and seeing through the trees was a challenge.

  “Did you hear that?”

  Layla nodded. “I think the orc might still be hiding in the woods.”

  I cocked my head. “You’d think he’d take off, try to avoid us.”

  “Yeah, you’d think.” Layla stood up. I kicked off my flippers and replaced them with my boots. Trust me when I say that cowboy boots look even more ridiculous than normal when worn with a wet suit.

  Layla focused. Her eyes glowed, shining golden light into the woods.

  “Neat trick,” I said.

  “Level-one shit,” Layla said. “Eventually, you’ll have to go back to the fundamentals.”

  “I don’t see anything.”

  Layla sighed. “Maybe we’re just paranoid. Hard to miss an orc, even one as skilled as B’iff.”

  Something touched my shoulder.

  I shrieked and turned.

  B’iff was standing there, staring down at me through his yellow cat-like eyes.

  “B’iff!” Layla shouted as she clenched her fist. She hadn’t brought her bow. This was going to be old-fashioned hand-to-hand combat.

  “Wait,” B’iff said, extending the hand with the fake Blade in it. “This is a replica. I don’t understand. If you have the real Blade, why would you have this? I think we need to talk.”

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  I took a few steps back. Standing that close to the elven giant’s imposing frame was scary, even if he did purport to come in peace.

  “Why did you make a copy of the Blade?” B’iff asked.

  “It’s none of your business, orc!” Layla said.

  “Giant. We prefer to be called giants.”

  “Fe-fi-fo-fum, then,” Layla quipped.

  I cocked my head. “Do giants say that?”

  B’iff shook his head. “I’ve never heard it before.”

  I shrugged.

  “How did you survive beneath the water?” Layla asked. “If you want us to answer your questions, you have a few to answer as well.”

  “I didn’t,” B’iff said. “I was traveling the ley line, hiding there until the gateway re-opened. I knew it was just a matter of time before you tried to come through with the Blade.”

  Layla shook her head. “We can’t allow you to take it. You’ll destroy our kingdom.”

  B’iff squinted his eyes. “Is that what you think our purpose is? We have no interest in destroying your people.”

  Layla huffed. “Please. Centuries of wars suggest otherwise.”

  “If we’d wanted to crush the elves, we could have long ago.”

  “Then why didn’t you?” Layla asked.

  “You’re the king’s daughter, and you don’t know the answer to such an elementary question?”

  Layla put her fists on her hips. “Don’t patronize me. Why would you want to take the Blade of Echoes back to New Albion if not to win the war?”

  “To save our world,” B’iff said. “Which is more than I can say for you.”

  “That’s what I want to do, too!”

  B’iff scratched his head. “It is not what your father has planned.”

  Layla and I exchanged glances.

  “What do you know of my fathe
r’s plans?” Layla asked.

  “He intends to do what the elves have always strived to do. To use the magic of New Albion to return to Earth and exact their vengeance on humanity for what they did to your ancestors.”

  Layla dropped her head. “How do you even know about this?”

  B’iff raised an eyebrow. “It’s what we’ve been fighting to prevent ever since we left old Albion. Ever since we followed your druid ancestors to New Albion. How do you not know this?”

  “Layla,” I said, “we just learned about this ourselves. Could it be that your father has lied to you?”

  “If he lied to me,” Layla snapped, “he’s lied to all our people. Hector is the first one who has ever hinted at the notion of acquiring the magic to come back to Earth.”

  “You have been deceived,” B’iff said. “Tell me, what do you know of your history when we first came to New Albion?”

  “We came fleeing persecution, as did the orcs. Sorry, I mean the giants. One of the druids came bearing the Blade of Echoes, invested with magic from Earth to make our new world habitable.”

  B’iff snorted. “And you thought that your father sent you here as a visitor, just for giggles?”

  “No,” Layla said. “He wanted me to learn about human culture. It was just a Plan B in case we couldn’t save our planet.”

  B’iff shook his head. “Saving New Albion was never the plan. Your father intends to use the magic in the Blade of Echoes to abandon our planet, leaving the elven giants behind. The dispute goes back to the beginning, to the time of the great schism.”

  Layla raised an eyebrow. “The great schism?”

  “It’s not surprising that this event has been exorcised from your histories.”

  “History,” I added, “tends to be written by the victors.”

  B’iff nodded. “When the original druids and giants first came to New Albion, before we evolved and became unified, the druids and the giants were not at odds. We had a common enemy, our persecutors, and we fled to this world united. But our peoples had different visions.”

  “Different visions about what?” Layla asked.

  “The Druidic council, what has now become the elven council, believed our new world to be an exile. But our people, the giants, had never been accepted on Earth. Our leaders believed we would do better to establish a new world, one that accepted all people.”