The Desperate Bride’s Diet Club

by Alison Sherlock

  She tripped her way down the stairs and into the lounge. Everyone burst out laughing, except Edward who shot tea out of his nose instead.

  ‘Bloody hell!’ snorted Kathy. ‘It’s dreadful!’

  ‘I know,’ said Violet. ‘Plus I think it’s jinxed. Apparently the wedding was called off which is why it’s brand new.’

  ‘Someone paid money for that?’ said Lucy, shaking her head.

  ‘You’re not going to wear that, are you?’ asked Maggie. ‘I mean, you can’t. It’s hideous.’

  ‘I might not have a choice,’ Violet told them.

  And then she found herself telling them about the snooty woman in the bridal shop. Suddenly everyone had stopped laughing.

  ‘That bitch!’ said Lucy.

  ‘Some of those bridal shops are really snobby,’ said Kathy. ‘Just ignore them. If they don’t want your business then sod them.’

  ‘Exactly,’ said Maggie.

  Lucy was fingering the material. ‘The silk is a nice quality, though. You could probably use that.’

  ‘And do what with it?’ asked Kathy.

  Lucy looked up at Violet. ‘If you like, I can make a few sketches for you. Give you a few ideas for a home-made wedding dress.’

  ‘Really?’ said Violet. ‘That would be great.’

  Lucy blushed but in her heart she knew she could do something better than the monstrosity that was in front of her. This was a side effect of weight loss that nobody spoke about. Lucy now felt she had something to offer the world.

  ‘I’ve finished college now so I’ve got some spare time before I start in September. If you don’t like any of my designs, just tell me. I won’t be offended.’

  ‘I’m sure they’ll be great,’ said Violet, before heading back upstairs to change back into her normal baggy clothes.

  Maggie nudged her daughter with her elbow. ‘My daughter. The great designer!’

  ‘Shurrup!’ said Lucy, nudging her back.

  But they were both smiling.

  Everyone was really happy that evening.

  ‘I’m staying on fifteen hundred calories forever!’ said Kathy.

  ‘I’ve bought a calorie-counting app for my iPhone,’ Lucy told them. ‘It’s brilliant and tells me exactly how many calories everything has and lists the fat content too.’

  ‘I can’t wait to be a size twelve!’ said Maggie. ‘Actually, I can’t wait to be a nice size fourteen. I’d be thrilled to get to that.’

  ‘Just remember that the quick fixes don’t work,’ said Violet as she came back into the room. ‘We can do this but it must be slow and steady. The crash diets work briefly but then it all goes on again.’

  ‘With some more added to it,’ muttered Kathy.

  ‘We can’t go through life only drinking juices or not eating a potato or piece of bread ever again. That’s just not realistic,’ Violet told them. ‘Now we’ve got to carry on but only aiming for a loss of one or two pounds a week.’

  ‘But that’ll take me for ever,’ said Edward.

  ‘We might all lose a few more pounds than that,’ Violet told them. ‘Because of our weight, it’s going to fall off a bit quicker.’

  ‘Excellent,’ muttered Lucy.

  ‘The thing is,’ said Maggie. ‘I’m not sure those ready meals are any good. I know I have healthier lunches and all that but I need a decent meal in the evening.’

  Violet nodded. ‘I know. I found that too.’

  ‘So what now, boss?’ asked Kathy.

  Violet realised they were all waiting for more words of dieting wisdom.

  She cleared her throat. ‘I was looking up some healthy dinner recipes on line. Breakfast and lunch are fairly easy. I tend to stick to fruit or cereal in the morning and then a sandwich or cracker biscuits for lunch. But we need variation. Actually, it’s me that needs variation, otherwise I’ll get bored and then I’ll pig out, if I’m not careful.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  ‘I’ve bought a couple of low-fat recipe books,’ she told them. ‘The food is mainly Italian but I can share the recipes with you, if you want? They need fresh herbs and the odd splash of wine to liven them up but they taste much better. But you must measure out all of your food. I don’t know about you but I was eating gigantic portions. Way too much.’

  They all pored over the recipes.

  ‘Oooh!’ said Maggie, salivating at the photo of linguine with garlic, prawns and spinach. ‘How can that be only four hundred calories?’

  ‘You gotta make that for us, Mum,’ said Lucy. ‘And the spicy meatballs.’

  ‘I can’t believe you’re allowed those parmesan shavings on top,’ said Kathy. ‘I thought cheese was full of fat.’

  Violet flicked through to the notes at the back of the book. ‘It says if you get a really nice bit of parmesan, you don’t need to use so much. It’s quality, not quantity that makes the difference taste-wise.’

  And she knew just the right delicatessen to buy it from.

  Chapter Thirty-two

  KATHY PARKED HER car and walked slowly towards the cricket pitch. She wasn’t sure that she really wanted to be there but what else was there to do on a sunny Saturday afternoon in July? Especially when she was renting a poky, first-floor flat without a garden. Besides, she had promised Edward and didn’t want him to worry if she didn’t turn up.

  She had fretted over what to wear. Summer clothes were the worst fashion for the single overweight lady as the thin material showed off any sweat or rolls of fat and a big, baggy cardigan to hide everything wasn’t an option. So Kathy settled on a bright pink T-shirt which didn’t cling quite as much as it used to and a pair of black linen trousers so wide legged that if the wind got up, she would take off. With a pair of sparkly black flipflops on her feet, she basted up with suntan lotion and felt almost brave enough to watch Edward’s team in action. Or at least hide and watch the action from the sidelines.

  She slowly walked around the edge of the field towards the pavilion which seemed crowded and noisy. Everyone seemed to know everyone else and they were all laughing and gossiping.

  Not knowing anyone and feeling shy, she settled herself on the scorched grass a little way from the pavilion and took the opportunity to hunt Edward down with her eyes. She found him just beyond the wicket on the other side of the field.

  From far away, Kathy could see Edward’s full silhouette and realised how much he had trimmed down. The weight had gone from everywhere, especially around his waist. He appeared more defined, slimmer. He was beginning to get a good shape on his body now that he had lost almost two stone.

  The ball flew out in Edward’s direction and he caught it easily, causing celebrations as the wicket fell. His strong forearms were tanned from the time spent out in the summer sun.

  As the next batsman headed out on to the field, Edward and his team were huddled together discussing tactics. They were all laughing and Kathy suddenly felt jealous that he had such a wide circle of friends.

  Then the players split up, with Edward tossing and catching the ball before turning around to bowl. She watched him run up to the wicket. For all his extra weight, he could move quite well and the batsmen were having problems staying in.

  Men are so lucky, thought Kathy. OK, so Edward was over six feet tall, but why could men get away with extra weight and women not? Still, a sneaky glance at the scales this morning had confirmed her suspicions that she was still losing weight and she certainly felt better about herself than she had for a long while.

  She found her mind casting back to her younger days when her dad used to play cricket whilst she and her mum helped sort out the cricket teas in the clubhouse. Happy days, thought Kathy. But they seemed a long time ago.

  A huge roar from the pavilion indicated that Edward had bowled out the last member of the other team and that it was his side’s turn to bat.

  Kathy watched Edward behind the safety of her sunglasses as he made his way over to the clubhouse to wait for his turn. He was certainly a popular member of t
he team, with everyone slapping him on the back and cracking jokes.

  He suddenly caught sight of Kathy and waved before beginning to walk over.

  ‘Hi!’ he said, throwing himself on to the ground next to her. ‘Glad you came.’

  Up close, she could see how much weight he had lost from his face as well, making him look younger than he had done when they had first met. He appeared to have had a haircut too. His blond hair was neater than she remembered.

  ‘Hello,’ she replied. ‘You did well out there.’

  ‘Thanks, but you haven’t seen my lack of batting skills yet.’

  ‘Is it that bad?’ she asked.

  ‘Unspeakable,’ he told her, before glugging down some of the can of Diet Coke he was holding. ‘God, but it’s hot. I thought I was going to melt when I cycled over here today.’

  Kathy raised her eyebrows. ‘You’re cycling now?’

  He grinned at her. ‘Bought a bike off eBay and I go everywhere on it, even to work. It’s true what they say. It does get easier.’

  He had lost another five pounds that week.

  Kathy nodded. ‘Nice to be out in the sun as well.’

  Edward picked up the wistful tone in her voice and looked at her.

  ‘I’m always either stuck in the shop or in the flat,’ she explained. ‘I get so little daylight that I’m in danger of getting scurvy.’

  He broke into a grin and Kathy was glad the sunglasses hid her cheeks which were growing pink. His round face was becoming a handsome one.

  ‘What happened to your arm?’ he asked, looking down at a vivid bruise near her wrist.

  Kathy rolled her eyes. ‘The kitchen cupboard doors fall off if I forget to treat them gently. And I’m not very gentle when I’m hungry. I obviously don’t know my own strength.’

  ‘Is it your own flat?’

  Kathy shook her head. ‘Rented. I’m still working out what and where to buy my own place.’

  Edward frowned. ‘Can’t you complain to your landlord?’

  She shrugged her shoulders. ‘The rent’s pretty low and I don’t want to do anything to rock the boat.’

  ‘Look, I’m at the gym in the morning but how about I come over tomorrow afternoon and fix the doors?’

  Kathy began to shake her head. ‘I don’t want you to go to any trouble. It’s not worth it, honestly.’

  ‘You can’t keep hurting yourself. It’s not right,’ said Edward, as a roar came up from the cricket square indicating that another wicket had just fallen. ‘Anyway, I’m up next so you’ve no time to argue. Text me your address and I’ll see you around four-ish. OK?’

  Kathy didn’t have time to reply as Edward had already got up and was heading towards the pavilion for his pads and bat.

  At least it meant she wasn’t at a loose end on Sunday morning, she realised the following day with a duster and bin liner in her hand. Thank God, Edward wasn’t turning up unexpectedly and had pre-warned her. OK, so the flat wasn’t that bad but it wasn’t exactly immaculate either.

  By mid-afternoon, she had just sunk on to the sofa, having finished her blitz, when there was a knock on the front door.

  ‘Hi,’ said Edward, smiling and waving his toolbox at her. ‘Bob the Builder here.’

  ‘Come in,’ said Kathy.

  ‘Hey, this isn’t bad,’ Edward said, taking a look around. ‘It’s bigger than my place.’

  ‘The size comes at a cost,’ she told him. ‘It overlooks an industrial estate at the back so I get woken up most mornings by the lorries thundering in.’

  ‘Mine isn’t exactly a room with a view either. Now what about these dodgy doors?’

  ‘It’s not that bad,’ said Kathy but Edward was already marching into the kitchen to have a look.

  Edward went to open one of the higher cupboard doors and found it came clean off in his hand. He raised an eyebrow at Kathy.

  ‘OK, so it’s really bad,’ she told him with a rueful smile. ‘I just didn’t want you to go to any trouble. Let’s have a cuppa first, though.’

  They made small talk about the previous day’s match whilst they sipped their tea. But Edward was soon up and working on the doors, ignoring her protestations. She watched him as he tightened up the hinges of every cupboard in the kitchen. Some of the doors were in such a mess that he had to either replace the screws or sort out the hinge.

  An hour later, he had finished.

  ‘All safe now,’ he told Kathy.

  ‘Thank you,’ she replied. ‘I won’t have to worry every time I come in the kitchen. Or get hungry.’

  ‘Something smells lovely in here,’ he said. ‘I’ve been trying to work out what it is for the past hour.’

  ‘You must mean the basil on the windowsill,’ Kathy told him. ‘I bought a pot to liven up my spaghetti bolognese.’

  ‘You make it yourself?’

  Kathy nodded. ‘I got the recipe from Violet. It’s really good.’

  ‘I miss home cooking,’ he replied with a sigh. ‘I only moved out of home a couple of years ago but Mum’s cooking is great.’

  So was mine when I had someone to cook for, thought Kathy, trying not to get emotional in front of him.

  Edward rolled his eyes. ‘I’m such a typical bloke. By the time I get in from work and the gym, I can’t be bothered to cook so I’ve still been surviving on those low-fat ready meals.’

  ‘Well, you’re looking good on them.’ Kathy blushed as soon as the words were out of her mouth. ‘I mean, you’ve done well with the weight loss so far.’

  ‘Thanks,’ he said. ‘To be honest, I’ve just transferred my evening meals from takeaways to microwave food.’

  She made a face. ‘Doesn’t sound very appetising.’

  Edward leant back against the kitchen counter. ‘Not really. Especially as Mum still does a mean roast for us all.’

  ‘How big is your family?’

  ‘I’ve got two sisters and two brothers.’

  ‘Wow,’ said Kathy.

  ‘They’re all married and I’ve got a handful of nieces and nephews too. When we get together, there’s barely any room in my mum’s house to sit down.’

  Kathy suddenly had a wistful longing to be in a family house full of life and laughter. How lovely that would be.

  ‘Anyway, it’s been a while since I got some home cooking inside me,’ said Edward.

  Kathy glanced at the clock. ‘Look, I know it’s not quite six o’clock yet but I was going to make myself some dinner. How about I treat you to my low-fat spaghetti bolognese as a thank you for sorting out the kitchen for me?’

  ‘Are you sure?’ asked Edward, breaking into a smile. ‘I wasn’t dropping any hints, if that’s what you were thinking.’

  ‘I know,’ Kathy told him.

  ‘I don’t want to put you to any trouble.’

  Kathy shrugged her shoulders. ‘The mince comes in a big packet so I was going to have to freeze the rest anyway.’

  Whilst Edward went to the bathroom and washed his hands, Kathy put on some music and began to fry the mince.

  ‘What happened to the shower head?’ said Edward, coming back to lean against the door of the kitchen.

  He was so tall and broad-shouldered that he seemed to fill the kitchen and Kathy found herself having to concentrate on the food so she didn’t keep looking at him.

  ‘The shower?’ she replied. ‘I think it’s so clogged full of limescale that it couldn’t cope with the weight and fell off this week. Luckily it missed my head whilst I was in the bath.’

  Edward pursed his lips. ‘Look, I haven’t got anything with me to fix it at the minute. But I can come back another time, if that’s OK with you?’

  Kathy looked at him. ‘Is this a ploy to get some more home cooking?’

  His face split into a grin. ‘You saw through my master plan.’

  ‘So I get my flat fixed and you get some decent food?’

  He nodded. ‘Exactly.’

  ‘I see.’

  Kathy found herself smiling too a
s she turned back to her recipe.

  Chapter Thirty-three

  ONCE AUGUST HAD arrived, everyone had been going on holiday. Violet had always hated the summertime, the heat being absolutely no good for someone in her shape. Even with approaching a two stone weight loss, it was still a bit of a struggle. But not as much as it used to be, she reminded herself.

  Especially as the sun was continuing to shine. Her garden lawn was as parched and brown as everyone else’s. And the nights were still warm enough for Violet to need only a sheet over her.

  The hotline began to quieten down as everyone headed off on their holidays. So the department began to take some time off as well. Wendy had gone camping in Cornwall. Julie went to Greece. Even Anthony had found a fellow nerd to visit California with.

  Violet didn’t have as much holiday entitlement as everyone else as she hadn’t started with the company until May and was saving up the rest of her holiday for the honeymoon at the end of the year. But she didn’t mind. The air conditioning was a welcome relief from the heat.

  Mark left in the second week of August to visit his family in Italy. Violet found herself quite wistful at the thought of those narrow Sorrento streets and warm Mediterranean sea, and she found it was strange not having him suddenly appear at her desk all the time.

  But Violet took the opportunity to visit Gino’s delicatessen more frequently whilst he wasn’t around. As soon as she stepped inside the café, Nonna’s face lit up and she came over to kiss Violet’s cheeks. This was their accepted way of greeting now.

  ‘Ciao, bella,’ said Nonna, beaming up at her.

  ‘Ciao,’ replied Violet. ‘Er, parmesan?’ she asked, before remembering what she had learnt online the previous evening. ‘Per favore.’

  Violet knew her accent wasn’t very good but Nonna’s eyes lit up at her wretched attempt to say please.

  ‘Sì,’ she replied, taking Violet by the hand.

  Violet thought she was being led behind the counter as normal, but instead she was taken through the kitchen and back outside into the courtyard.

  Nonna gestured for her to sit and went back inside.

  Violet sat at the small table and gazed around as the heat from the sun warmed her back and shoulders. There was a small breeze which made the strands of an ornamental grass flutter in a nearby pot. Bumble bees hovered in the air before gliding from flower to flower in their search for nectar.