Living Oprah
Page 6
I am curious how much the Oprah brand helped Barack Obama win the Democratic candidacy for president. There is always a frenzy created when Winfrey advises her audience to read a book or buy a product. Did she have the same effect on the vote on Super Tuesday? One study by economists from the University of Maryland says Oprah earned Obama more than a million votes. She also earned herself more power. The fact that people are even speculating that she swayed the election has strengthened the mythology behind her influence. She’s a self-perpetuating marketing force. What an amazing phenomenon.
It’s no secret: Oprah’s influence is deeply effective and widespread. Hers is a household name, and there is no branch of the media in which she does not demand attention and respect. And while she has a crack marketing team, I also believe that we help sustain and build her power the more we talk about it, the more university professors do studies of it, the more comedians joke about it, the more artsy-fartsy types like me do projects about it. We are a vital part of her PR machine. She sustains us with her presence, we sustain her, and the wheel keeps turning.
Photo © Jim Stevens
Enlightenment, watch out, here I come.
Photo © Jim Stevens
I whipped up Dr. Oz’s green drink in order to look and feel like a whippersnapper. It might look poisonous, but it was yummy. I finally received my white jeans. I’m immediately scared I’ll spill something on them.
Photo © Jim Stevens
My husband always says he likes my curves… lucky him… I have a few more than most other women.
February 2008 Accounting
Date Assignment Cost Time Notes
2/1 Read O from cover to cover. (LO) 3h 0m Lots of yummy-looking cupcakes, but I’ve already signed my Best Life Challenge contract. Decent articles, not like many other women’s magazines I’ve read where articles are more like blurbs, with more bells and whistles than text.
2/1 “I’m urging you to do something just for yourself….” Complete “master class” in writing from Wally Lamb. (MAG) 0h 10m This was sort of Writing 101. I will consider his advice as I write my blog, as it is the most public version of my private story I can tell at the moment.
2/1 “Go with your girlfriends and then go have margaritas.” (movie 27 Dresses) (SHOW) 30.00 3h 30m We went on Februrary 15. We all felt the movie kicked feminism back 4 or 5 decades. ($10.50 movie/$19.50 at Agave Bar and Grill)
2/1 Purchase makeup (WEB) 42.97 0h 20m I haven’t worn makeup in ages. Trying to follow some how-to’s at Oprah.com.
2/5 Vote for Barack Obama. Oprah said “seize the opportunity” and vote for him. “We need Barack Obama.” (POLITICAL ENDORSEMENT) 0h 15m I’ve seen this replayed on TV a handful of times this year (originally from 12/07 speech in SC).
2/5 Know what to have in the fridge and medicine cabinet if I want to stay young. (Dr Oz’s antiaging checklist) (SHOW) 64.72 1h 0m I bought what I didn’t already have in the house; lots more supplements than I normally take.
2/6 Scallops in Green Curry Sauce for dinner. (WEB) 39.57 0h 45m Prep was way labor intensive but food was way yummy. It’s approximately $25 more than we’d usually pay for the groceries to make dinner. I bought scallops on sale. That’s bad, right?
2/8 Sign up for Suze Orman’s MyFico program. (WEB/SHOW) 49.95 0h 10m Yeah! I have decent credit! I always assume the worst when I don’t have all the info about my finances. I am still scared of my own money.
2/13 Download free copy of Women and Money by Suze Orman. (SHOW) 5h 5m Empowering. Sort of like finances made simple for the uneducated in money. That’s me, all right. (5 minutes to download, approx. 300 minutes to read)
2/14 “Does Your Underwear Need an Overhaul?” Use advice in article to revamp my underwear drawer. (MAG) 58.39 0h 30m I just ordered new stuff online at a discount site. I had some awful old, ginormous, stretched-out undies. Soon I will I have some that fit. Sweet!
2/18 Go to see Horton Hears a Who. (SHOW) 8.50 1h 28m Um. Blah. Even the 4-year-old daughter of my friend Dara was unimpressed.
2/19 Stop drinking diet soda. (SHOW) 0h 0m Not really a big deal for me anymore, although I used to live on the stuff.
2/19 I sat in the audience of the Oprah taping featuring guest William Shatner (the Shat). (WEB) 2h 0m After the taping, we were told to go to The Oprah Store. I will do this on another day as I had to go to a school event.
2/20 10 things every woman needs to have in her closet. (SHOW) 354.53 10h 55m Breakdown: $45.96 trench; $19.00 white T-neck; $19.00 black T-neck; $59.50 white jeans ($13.95 S/H for T-necks and jeans); $33.51 tunics; $7.00 leopard-print flats; $66.65 white denim jacket (inc. SH); $49.99 dark-wash jeans (Michael Kors at Marshalls; Oprah loves MK pants); $9.99 black skirt; $9.99 oversized bag (best bargain item I found!); $19.99 black dress
2/21 Intentional Dialogue Exercise. (WEB) 0h 20m Had an argument with husband, so searched for solution on Oprah.com with search term “communication.” We thought this was pretty goofy, but laughing about it chilled us out.
2/21 Read A New Earth. (SHOW/BC) 0h 55m No surprises here. I do like Tolle’s tone, though.
2/22 Watch Raisin in the Sun with my family and a bowl of popcorn. (SHOW) 0.25 3h 0m I’m biased. I preferred the original – who can top S. Poitier? Popcorn was delicious, though. (25¢ for popcorn)
2/25 Get a Walkvest (weighted vest). (SHOW) 0h 0m This was on show with Valerie Bertinelli, who used the vest to lose weight. A student read this post and gave me his weighted vest so I don’t have to buy one! Awesome!
2/27 “I do want you to start thinking about, as I have started thinking about, how much you consume. I mean, like every time you throw away a paper towel. Every time you are, you know, wasteful with food in your house… just think about how much you really need.” (SHOW) 0h 0m If anything, this is helping me save money. I’ve been much better about wasting paper towels and napkins. Also, taking shorter showers. Trying not to waste food. (O)
2/28 “Get a lift when you come in the front door.” (MAG) 0h 0m I think of something to be grateful for every time I come in the front door. Plus I’ve placed photos in our entryway that always make me smile. I also get to see my happy cat when I enter, which makes me happy. (O)
2/28 “I want you to savor every meal.” (MAG) 0h 0m This is great ! I am usually a vacuum cleaner of an eater. I have begun eating much more mindfully. Sometimes I have to remind myself midmeal, but I really enjoy this. Addendum: Sometimes I want to rush and feel resentful I have to savor my food. How embarrassing! (O)
2/28 “I want you to pay attention to how happy women get that way.” (MAG) 0h 0m I’ve been observing women so much since this project began anyhow. This has been really interesting. (O)
2/28 Take A Course in Miracles. (SHOW/WEB) 0h 0m This is a daily lesson provided on Oprah.com. Will start formally on 3/1/08. (O)
2/29 Watch Oprah’s Big Give (with my family) and make it a party, including homemade pizzas, salad, and a special give-a-tini (virgin!) created by celeb chef Jamie Oliver. (SHOW) 20.43 2h 0m Wasn’t wild about the reality show. I’m rooting for Brandi — she has scoliosis like me! Oprah told us to watch every episode. Will do. ($20.43 for groceries I didn’t have in the house)
2/29 “Remember, it’s not just about money. It’s about what you can do for somebody else. Rally your friends, your family, neighbors, and pull off your own big give. Be creative.” (SHOW) 5h 25m I’m organizing a book drive. I’ve decided on the organization I’ll be donating to. I’m excited! I love books. (250 minutes organization and drop-off, 60 minutes research, 15 minutes letter writing)
Date Assignment Cost Time Notes
Throughout Month Watch every episode of Oprah. (LO) 21h 0m 21 episodes
Throughout Month Do Best Life Challenge exercise. (BLC) 5h 20m I go above and beyond the required BLC minutes but use it to stay consistent. (80 minutes a week for 4 weeks)
MONTHLY TOTAL 669.31 67h 8m
YEAR-TO-DATE TOTAL 1,376.32 165h 54m
ONGOING PROJECTS
– “Reinv
igorate your appearance with some great advice on how not to look old…”
– “Rethink your eating habits with some absolutely delicious and utterly original meals…”
– Use cloth or reusable bags at grocery store. No more plastic.
– Change lightbulbs to energy-efficient bulbs.
– “I think in terms of investment, it’s the best thing you can ever give yourself is to have beautiful surroundings.”
– “I would just say to anybody, whatever secret you’re holding, live your own truth.”
– Sharon Salzberg meditation
– Make your rooms personal.
– Best Life Challenge exercise and diet guidance
Accounting Abbreviations: LO = Living Oprah Project Task, SHOW = The Oprah Winfrey Show, WEB = Oprah.com, MAG = O, The Oprah Magazine, BC = Oprah’s Book Club, BLC = Best Life Challenge, (O) = ongoing project
Photo © Jim Stevens
I finally received my white jeans. I’m immediately scared I’ll spill something on them.
Blog: This is the blog (containing photos) of some of the “ten things every woman should have in her closet” in March chapter: http://www.livingoprah.com/2008/03/at-long-last.html
MARCH:
If the leopard-print shoe fits…
Time spent this month: 62 hours, 12 minutes
Dollars spent this month: $262.69
Jim’s least favorite activity: The Evaluate Your Marriage exercise
Jim’s most favorite activity: Eating Art Smith’s Ground Turkey Shepherd’s Pie
Words that stuck: “The best part of all of this is thinking of you when watching Oprah and thinking ‘Oh, man, poor girl has a lot of shopping to do.’ ” — Comment made by Margaret Hicks on Living Oprah blog
I’VE BEEN shopping my butt off.
I felt confident back on February 20 when I watched a style segment and heard from Oprah’s lips, “Here are the ten things every woman needs to have.” I was certain if the items on the list were must-haves, then I must have most of them already. Nope. Turns out I’ve been dressing in the Dark Ages. Luckily, Oprah and one of her style experts have offered fashion advice to civilize me. Although I’ve been attempting to acquire the required clothing, I’ve not been having the best of luck. I’m not good at scavenger hunts, but the grand prize of this shopping spree is a transformation into Oprah’s image of a well-dressed woman, so I’m trying really hard.
Here’s my list.
Must-Have Clothing:
Trenchcoat (I don’t have one, but have always found it romantic to look like a Cold War spy, so I’m excited.)
Turtlenecks: one black, one white (I don’t have either; need to get.)
Black trousers (I have a pair that needs to be tailored.)
Tunic top (I don’t think I have one but I’ll look. One question: What’s a tunic top?)
White jeans (Why? To wear to the Guns N’ Roses concert in 1987?)
Dark jeans (I thought I was covered here but was informed I had only a medium wash, so back to the drawing board.)
Black dress (Had two; neither fit.)
White denim jacket (Huh? I rewind the VCR tape to make sure I heard correctly. Is Oprah in a hair band? I wonder if she’ll want me to sing a power ballad on the hood of a Camaro next.)
Black skirt (Again, I thought I was all set. Then Jim sees me trying it on and tells me it’s way too big, and it is against tailoring and clutter rules to own something that doesn’t fit me. He’s right. I’ll either have to get it altered or get a new skirt. I’ll try to do whichever is cheaper.)
Cashmere sweater (Thank you, Marshalls, for your great deals.)
Must-Have Accessories:
Flats (Leopard print was recommended. I laugh so hard, I cry.)
An oversized bag (Don’t have. Got rid of these last year since it’s not great for my back to carry a lot of weight on my shoulder. Just a thought: If I was allowed to wear cargo pants, I might not need such a big bag. I’d have pockets.)
Here’s the funny thing. Until I started writing this book, I never realized they snuck two extra items onto the list. I just shopped for what I was told I needed without counting.
I started my fruitless excursion into retailatopia at the end of February and it feels never-ending. Shopping in actual stores, not online, falls somewhere on my discomfort scale between being put on hold by the cable company and a bikini wax. Because of my lack of desire to shop (sorry, misogynist comedians, not all women love to spend money on clothes), I know much of this year will be a challenge for me. I have friends who think this will be the fun part of the project. Due to their exuberance, I try to convince myself that buying new clothes can’t be that painful. The trouble is I have a pretty long history of feeling guilty when I spend money on myself. It seems like there are always better, more practical ways to spend my hard-earned dollars than on clothing. But this is Living Oprah, not Living Okrant, so I tell myself to suck it up. I eat a healthy, hearty breakfast, and armed with the list of 12 things I need to have in my closet, I hit the sidewalks with my debit card burrowing for safety within the confines of my wallet.
When I finally find some clothing that is in my size and price range, and Oprah-appropriate, or Oprappriate, as I start calling it, I head to the dressing room with my fingers crossed. One thing I did not expect was the reaction I had to seeing myself in the mirror while wearing these white jeans, white denim jacket, bright red tunic top, and black oversized bag. I grimace at my reflection: I look like an inside-out Santa and can’t peel the clothing off fast enough. I’ve seen it on makeover shows, the moment where the recently transformed guest cries out in shock, “That doesn’t even look like me!” I always thought that sounded a bit overly dramatic, but now I can say I’ve had the exact same experience. I feel much like I do at the initial fitting for costumes for a play. Nothing fits quite right at first, and I am faced with wearing the projection of how a designer interpreted my character rather than seeing the reflection of what I imagined would be perfect for my role. If I’m ever going to get comfortable in these Oprah-advised clothes, these clothes that everyone is supposed to be wearing, these clothes that make me feel like less of an individual, I need to make a major mental adjustment. But it isn’t going to happen in this moment, with price tags dangling from my armpit. I return an armful of ill-fitting clothing to the dressing room attendant, feeling guilty that I’ve doubled her workload for the day.
I accept that this will be a process, but I have my doubts I’ll ever get used to leopard-print flats. I feel so lucky I didn’t have to waste… er, I mean spend too much money on them as I found them in the clearance section of a major brand-name discount store. Oprah’s guest, stylist Lloyd Boston, said, “When you do leopard, because it goes with nothing, it goes with everything.” It was said in such an authoritative tone, with Oprah in total agreement, I believed it to be true. But today, as I slide them on my feet, I feel more like an ass than a wildcat. Who makes up these rules? Who gets to decide what’s beautiful? In subsequent days, I see that the flats indeed look cute on other women, but I still feel like an impostor. This assignment is way out of my comfort zone.
While I shop, I can’t shake the feeling that I am being watched. Judged. I think a lot of this sensation stems from a television phenomenon I’ve witnessed on Oprah, as well as other TV shows in the past decade or so. It has become totally acceptable to cross boundaries and personal space to ambush people we feel are in need of makeovers, makeunders, new kitchens, new financial plans, and new housekeeping tactics. This is one of my biggest fears. If I was walking down a sidewalk in Chicago and was suddenly faced with the lens of a camera and a perfectly dressed, made up, coiffed TV personality spun me around so everyone in America could see the flat “ass pancake” created by my ill-fitting jeans, I might melt into a puddle of humiliation on the concrete.
But do I avert my eyes when I see this sort of thing done on a talk show? Do I start a letter-writing campaign to end reality television? No way. I hate to
love it. I held firm to my moral ground for many years, refusing to partake of this type of exploitive entertainment. Somewhere down the line, though, when I was working from home as a freelance graphic designer, I “accidentally” began watching a reality show called Starting Over* on my lunch break. All hell broke loose and I got hooked like any other junkie. Because it starred actual people in a dramatic daily format usually reserved for soap operas, the line between human being and fictional character became fuzzy. I felt a little gross when the end credits rolled, but I still tuned in and talked about the people on the show as if I knew them. This was like peeking into the window of my neighbors’ home, spying on their drama, but even better because it was edited for time and I didn’t have to change out of my jammies. I even got online and lurked on message boards where fans discussed the show. I wondered if I was learning from my voyeurism or merely being entertained from a seat of removed superiority.
These days, you can’t throw a rock at the television without hitting an ambush makeover show. I call these reality-based programs my guilty pleasures, as if there is something intrinsically and embarrassingly wrong about my choice to view them. It feels sinful to derive entertainment from others’ struggles. Sure, most of the shows have happy endings, but they wouldn’t be nearly as interesting without the human trauma and drama to kick off the plot. And hey, everyone else watches reality television, so why shouldn’t I? I hear Mom’s voice in my head when I begged her to let me shave my legs in the fifth grade because everyone else was doing it. “If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you?” No, Mom, but if everyone else watches an Oprah episode about a woman whose hoarding disorder has caused her family so much mortification that she’s being ambushed on the show, will I tune in? You bet your silky, hairless legs I will.