Evan's Addiction

by Sara Hess

  “Do you have any idea what my major is?” Not waiting for a reply Shaw continued sarcastically. “No, of course you don’t, and it probably wouldn’t matter to your pea-sized brain.”

  The guys face darkened in further anger, and the punch I’d delivered to his left cheekbone was swelling causing the small cut to bleed more. “Bitch, I’ve always said your mouth…”

  “Don’t say another fucking word to her.” I surged toward him in fury.

  Shaw’s hand on my arm stopped me this time, but she didn’t look at me. “While I would love to watch you all beat the shit out of each other, I have business I want finished here, but it looks like I’m going to have to go another route.” Keeping her hold on me Shaw pointed her other hand to dickhead standing to Shit for Brains right. “You…you’re in the fraternity with this numbnuts, right?”

  Holding his balls, the guy glared and nodded. It was all he could do with his nads swelling like watermelons.

  “I hear you’ve been having a lot of problems with your cable and utilities being shut off, losing your internet connections, oodles of spam bombs, and the cops and campus security stopping by randomly? I also heard something about Facebook information being altered and painting quite an unflattering picture of quite a few of you. Thinking about all this crap you’ve been dealing with I can understand why all of you are so damn ill-tempered. I think I heard that it’s been going on for a little over a year, is that right?”

  My eyebrows were part of my hairline as I processed Shaw’s words. Holy shit! Was she implying what I thought she was implying? What she was hinting at was seriously illegal.

  The four guys just stared at her in anger, not catching on at all. Shaw exhaled an aggravated breath. “Seriously…no light bulbs?” She rolled her eyes and I felt my first spark of amusement in what seemed like forever. I loved seeing her like this. David and Nic chuckled softly from behind us.

  “What’s any of this to you, bitch?” Assbags grunted crossly.

  I growled, “Watch your fucking mouth,” and tried to move forward again, but Shaw’s grip on my arm tightened. She flashed me a look and even though her voice was bland the green of her eyes was a different book altogether. I’d had barely any eye contact with Shaw in the last month, and glimpsing all that fire and energy inside her was like a flame to my blown out wick.

  Fuck, she made me burn, and all it took was a look. Regrettably, she turned away all too soon.

  Shaw heaved a sighed. “Listen to me closely, brainiacs, because I don’t have time to draw you pictures.”

  There were more snickers from behind us, and while I could see the humor this wasn’t funny to me. These guys, and many more, had been making her life hell for years, and she’d taken action, illegal actions that could get her years in prison. I was furious, impressed, and sincerely alarmed.

  “How would you like to have all those problems disappear, and all it would take is for you to pretend I don’t exist?” She raised her one brow in hopeful expectation, her green eyes frosty cold.

  But Ford had literal shit for brains. “The only thing that you exist for is to stick a dick into, Bitch.”

  I had allowed Shaw to hold me back up to this point. But not anymore; flashing forward I swung a hard left to give him matching cheeks, and he went staggering backwards onto the ground again.

  Nic was next to me directly warning the other guys to back down. “Don’t even think about it, assholes. He warned all of you to watch what you say about her.” Nic was a sizable opponent at six-four and all muscle, but the three morons were giving him a look that said they thought they could take him.

  We’d been drawing an increasing crowd and two out of the dozens of onlookers stepped forward to lend their support. Nic and I gave Gavin and Tuck, friends and former lacrosse teammates of ours, a nod of acknowledgment and gratitude, and their timely appearance had the other three rethinking their idea of fighting.

  Bending down I stared coldly at Shaw’s harasser. “You’re nothing but a fucking liar and asshole bully, and if you say one more derogatory word to her, or about her, I will make it so you can’t talk for weeks.” Straightening I gave each of the other shit-knockers the same hard glare. “That goes for every one of you, and your buttfuck lying Frat brother’s as well.” Bending down once more I got right in Shit for Brains face and said with quiet menace. “What Shaw was trying to tell you, but you were too stupid to catch was that she’s been fucking with your life the same as you’ve been fucking with hers. She’s the reason your Facebooks are fucked up, your utilities are getting turned off, and the cops are messing with you.” Ford’s eyes narrowed in irate confusion. “Yeah, Shit for Brains, she’s that smart…if you stop fucking with her, she’ll stop messing with you. But if that’s not enough to convince you then believe me when I say I will make your life hell if you don’t leave her the fuck alone. You might have a Frat house backing you, but I have a team of lacrosse players backing me.” I tapped his bruised cheek hard to emphasize my point causing him to flinch in pain. “Got me?” I growled.

  After a small furious hesitation he answered, “Yeah.”

  I stood up and backed away and it appeared it was just in time because campus security arrived. I moved in next to Shaw and she gave me an angrily puzzled look.

  “What’s going on here, people?” Security asked walking up scrutinizing the situation.

  “An ass convention; can’t you smell the stink.” Shaw mumbled under her breath.

  David rubbed at her shoulder and I almost reached around to slap his hands away. “Asses can never smell their own stink.” He leaned down and I heard him whisper. “You okay?”

  Shaw shrugged. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  My mouth compressed at her handling any of this shit. Straightening my cuffs with a jerk I assumed my professional mask. “Just a little fun that got out of hand, sorry for the disturbance.”

  They scrutinized the four dipshits, taking in how beat up they were. Two were bloody and the other two were having a difficult time standing straight. “Fun, huh? What do you guys have to say about it?”

  Ford had gotten to his feet and was in a hushed heated debate with his pals. At the security guards inquiry he scowled my way and then glared at Shaw. I didn’t like the look in his eyes and the only thing stopping me from pounding more ultimatums in his head were the guards. This stalker was harboring some deep feelings for Shaw and it wasn’t all enmity. He wanted her.

  The other three guys agreed with my account while Ford stayed silent. Reading the animosity still in the air security told all of us disperse from the area. Nic and I gave Gavin and Tuck fist bumps in thanks and then the six of us walked through the lingering, gawking crowd.

  Shaw grabbed her stuff and made to go off in another direction but I hooked her arm. “Where do you think you’re going?” My nerves were still hopping from the anger and the fight and I had to control the power of my grip.

  She didn’t jerk out of my hold like I was contagious, but she did stiffen and avoid my gaze. “Away. I’ve had enough for today.”

  I exhaled heavily. “I can understand that, but Shaw…I would really like for us to talk and clear the air.” The urge to haul her away with or without her permission was tempting.

  Nic, Carrie, Samantha and David moved ahead to give us a moment and I appreciated it. They’d been very indulgent allowing me to bit by bit chip away at Shaw’s shoulder boulder, and I couldn’t deny I was hoping that smashing Ford’s face might have knocked a good amount of it off. It wasn’t why’d I’d done it, but I’d take the benefits from it.

  She gazed off to the side, a small line between her eyes. “You know, I’d been looking forward to that for a year; all of them realizing that I’d been controlling the shit going wrong in their lives. You come in, fists blazing, threaten them and ruin months of painstaking work.” She finally looked at me and the veil was gone from her eyes. The mix of confusion, pain, and resentment in her gaze was my first punch of the day. She continued the hits
. “I wanted to make them leave me alone because of what I’d been doing, but instead all they fear is getting their asses kicked again. It’s not fair. I would have done that if I could, but I couldn’t because I’m just a vagina.” She self-jeered.

  How the hell did sticking up for a woman turn out so badly? It was Shaw though, so it had to be complicated…but it also made sense. These guys were assholes and had been lying and harassing her for years. If she could have she would have kicked their asses, but she hadn’t sat back and taken it…No, not Shaw. She’d been sticking it to them in the only way she could…through cunning computer harassment. All she’d wanted was for them to stop, but she wanted to be the one responsible for making them stop.

  But I’d spoiled it for her. I didn’t regret beating the shit out of them, but I did feel bad that Shaw’s moment had been ruined. I had to fix it so she wouldn’t use this to drive another wedge between us.

  “Shaw, I laid-out to that shithead what you’d been doing to him and he was still grappling with the enormity of it, but once his undersized brain finally grasps the comprehensiveness of it he’ll realize all the laughing you were doing behind his back. My punch might hurt for a few days, but him and the rest of those tools will be smarting from what you did to them for years, because if I’m imagining even a tenth of what you put those guys through then their going to be feeling like stupid dickless stumps.”

  She was chewing on her lip looking off into the distance again, and in that instant I knew this was my window of opportunity to find out what her deal with me was.

  Giving her arm a soft squeeze I appealed to her. “Shaw, tell me what I did?”

  Her gaze collided with mine and the pain, confusion, and bitterness in them had intensified. She huffed in non-amusement. “You ran into Ford during those weeks we first met, didn’t you?”

  “Yes.” I answered slowly.

  She nodded like she already knew; the bitterness in her eyes taking predominance. “Yeah, I bet he told you lots of interesting shit about me; things like nympho, sucks like a vacuum, has a black book of fucks, did my high school and his entire Frat…wild in the sack?”

  The anger that had begun to settle flared at what had been done to her. Shaw had been a virgin and everyone had treated her like a slut. Even if she had slept around no one should have had to deal with persecution like that.

  “I didn’t believe a word that son of a bitch said about you, Shaw.” I exclaimed firmly. “I might not have known you very well back then, but anyone with half a brain could see you weren’t anything like what he was portraying. I chalked up his shit to you rejecting him at some point.”

  Her expression turned bitterly self-disgusted. “I wish I’d rejected him from the beginning, but he has some truth to his words and because of that I deserved some of what I got.”

  She was telling me she’d at one time gone out with the guy, and done some things with him, and that left a sour taste in my mouth, for her and me. I did not like thinking about her with that asshole, but hell, she probably liked it even less. And what was she talking about…she didn’t deserve any of that crap?

  Before I could correct her she continued. “They say there’s always a bit of truth to rumors, and I bet you were chomping at the bit to discover what stories were true?”

  I scowled at what she thought of me. “I was chomping at the bit for you before Ford even opened his damn mouth, Shaw. I didn’t pay attention to anything that fuck said.”

  Her eyes went abruptly hard. “Don’t lie.” She snarled. “You wanted to find out what dozens of other guys claimed to want to find out about me...‘to find out if I was as wild in bed as they’d heard’.” I was shaking my head in denial but she wasn’t done. “You said it afterwards, so stop shaking your head.” She yelled; lip trembling, cheeks pale, eyes blazing and glassy.

  I stared at her taken aback by what I was hearing. “What are you talking about, Shaw? I never said that.” However, my gut was twisting and filling with bile because she looked fiercely positive.

  Her body slumped slightly and she exhaled. “You were almost asleep so maybe you don’t remember, but it doesn’t matter if it was a conscious or unconscious remark; it was in your head. I was just an easy lay to you; something to use and toss away when you were done, whether it was one night or four weeks later. Only I didn’t get the memo on that part of the arrangement like your other partners did. They said you were very straightforward on that matter with them.”

  I watched her forehead pucker and I just stood there immobile, taking her hits. She’d spoken with women from my past?

  She huffed out another non-laugh and locked eyes with me. The green of her eyes was darker then I’d ever seen, and pain had taken the forefront of the three emotions in them. “My hymen wasn’t anything special to me, and I wasn’t looking for a relationship, but I always thought I’d at least give it up to someone who saw me for me and not the rumors attached to me. Oh well, C’est la vie and all that shit, right?” She laughed harshly before turning and walking away

  I stared after her staggered by what I’d learned…and the hurt in her eyes.

  Had I really spoken those words to her? Because I don’t remember uttering them at all. The look on her face said she wasn’t confused about it, and if I had then she had a reason to be furious with me, but the pain in her eyes said it was worse than that…And that was shredding my guts. I have no idea where my head might have been for those words to come out of my mouth.

  I wanted to run after Shaw and tell her my intentions were nobler than all those assholes who had treated her like a slut, but were they? My past relationships had her convinced that I’d set out to use her, and though I hated to admit it she had a point. I’d begun my pursuit of her with the intention of losing myself in her body. Normally the women I hooked up with were into using me as well. However, Shaw had never been interested in using me, and she certainly wasn’t into be used. I’d had to methodically whittle away at her protective shield just to get her to accept me, so how did I ever think that she would be okay with a brief fling?

  Could I convince her that my actions and feelings for her weren’t so cut and dried? I definitely wanted the chance to.

  “Where’s Shaw going?” Carrie asked rushing over in concern. Nic, Samantha and David were right on her heels.

  I turned to her, plans forming. “She needed some time to herself. Carrie, I need a huge favor.”

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Carrie opened the door and stared at me with anxious eyes. Nic stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders. “I hope I’m doing the right thing here.” She whispered.

  I gave her a smile of gratitude as I stepped into the apartment. “If she wants me gone I’ll go, okay? I’m not going to hold Shaw hostage in her own home, or make her want to leave it.”

  The huge favor I’d asked Carrie for this afternoon was for her to let me into their apartment tonight after work. This was Shaw’s domain so she would feel comfortable here and it would also give the two of us the privacy to talk.

  If she allowed me talk to her?

  Carrie waved me into the apartment glancing down the hall nervously. “She’s in her room. She’d been there all afternoon glued to her computer. I don’t know if this is the best time to do this with what happened today. She usually gets more…introverted after a run in with that guy, or any of those guys.”

  Anger and frustration had been riding me all day since running into those sons’s of a bitches and hearing that didn’t help it. I hated thinking about her dealing with those asshats alone.

  “How often did she run into them?”

  Her ice blue eyes flashed with fire. “Maybe twice a week, and that was when I was with her. Who knows how much they bothered her when I wasn’t around. She never wants to talk about it.”

  Damn, I wanted to find every one of those shit-lickers and make them eat my fist. From what David said it was that ass Ford that was the instigator in making Shaw’s life hell. He needed a serious lesson
in pain.

  “You were running into assholes like that and didn’t tell me?” Nic turned her in his arms to scowl down at her in clear displeasure.

  She didn’t look cowed. “It was Shaw’s business.”

  “I doubt that they kept their comments exclusively for Shaw.” Nic’s expression was heating up to extreme anger.

  The red crawling up Carrie’s face said they hadn’t. “I think we’ve established that I can handle nasty remarks.” She was referring to the scandal of her past and all the undeserved flak she’d received from it. “And Shaw sent those guys running with their tails between their legs. You know how she is.”

  “If she did they still wouldn’t continue to bother her.” Nic grunted, pulling her flush against him to glare down at her. “You’ll tell me from now on and I’ll take care of them so they won’t bother her or you again.”

  “How about I just stay away from her in public? That should solve everything.”

  The three of us started at Shaw’s voice and we turned to see her walk into the kitchen. She had on knee length sweats, a green tank top that molded to her sweet breasts, and her wild red hair was up in its usual beach ball bun. My hands itched to get anywhere on her.

  “Shaw, that’s not what Nic was saying.” Carrie glared at Nic and mouthed something to him I didn’t catch because my focus was on Shaw as she moved around the kitchen not looking at me.

  “Yeah, Shaw, that’s not what I meant…at all.” Nic declared. “You were there for Carrie when she went through that shit with her past. I just want to return the favor.”

  Shaw shrugged while filling a glass with water. “I did try to tell her she needed to keep her distance from me when I saw any of them coming but she can be a bit stubborn. And I don’t need any favors.” Her tone had a bite at the end and I wondered if that was because of me.