by Taryn Plendl
Ava and Trevor were the epitome of a sweet couple. I swore I was going to get a cavity every time I was around them; they were that sweet.
It had been almost two months since my run-in with Tom, but I still felt the hole in my heart every time I thought about him. I didn’t know what to do. The last time we talked at the club, he had looked so lost. I knew that if I pushed him, he would pull back further, and I didn’t want to do that to him. After everything was said and done, I was still in love with the man, and I would rather hurt than add to his.
I never asked Ava, Trevor, or Nick about him, but I knew they all saw him regularly. They had been remarkably good about keeping us apart, knowing that it was too hurtful right now to be around each other.
I knew that wouldn’t last with the wedding coming up. Not only were we both in the wedding party—Tom and I would be paired up. Ava apologized, but she said that we all matched up better that way because Chelsea was tall, and Nick was taller than Tom. Not by much. Whatever. It was their wedding, and I wasn’t going to rock the boat over details. I told Ava to just tell me what to do, and I would do it.
“I know. I can hardly wait to become Mrs. Trevor Dawson.” Ava put her chin on her hands and made a dreamy face like the lovesick fool she was.
We finished with our lunch and headed back. I was working tonight and needed to take a nap before I headed in.
Ava pulled up outside of my building and gave me a quick hug before heading back to work. The clouds were rolling in, and the sky was getting darker. I looked up and a chill ran down my spine.
The day was reminiscent of the day that Tom had his accident. It seemed like it was so long ago rather than just a few months. I still had flashbacks of how he looked when they brought him in. I still went through the entire trauma, almost critiquing our every move. I still beat myself up for not recognizing him, and ultimately, I still was having a hard time living without him in my life.
Thoughts of Tom still brought a physical ache in my chest. I missed him.
I shook the thoughts out of my head and walked into my building for a much-needed rest.
***
“Talia?” I turned around and saw Dr. Conner standing there with his tray and a smile. I was in line at the cafeteria grabbing a quick sandwich while we were a little slow. When you work in the medical field, you eat when you can, or you don’t eat at all.
“Hi Dr. Conner. How are you?” I stepped up to pay for my food and then walked over to where he stood.
“I’m good, Talia. Do you have time to sit?” His smile was so genuine and welcoming that I always had felt so comfortable around him.
“Sure.” I followed him to a square table and set my tray down. He was studying me, and I finally raised my eyebrows at him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, and I wondered how he could know something was wrong. Was I that transparent?
“What do you mean?” I questioned, and he just smiled gently at me again.
“Well, I’ve known you for a while, and the fire that was always in you seems to be gone these days. How’s your friend?” he asked, and I couldn’t look at him. I knew my face betrayed me.
“I don’t know,” I whispered and shrugged my shoulders, fighting back the tears.
“What happened?” He was being so gentle with me, almost like I would break at any moment. Hell, I probably would.
I told him about my time with Tom before the accident and how much fun we had together. I explained the guilt and sadness I still felt from when they brought him in, and then I told him about the time we spent while I was taking care of him. I even told him about kissing him—of course leaving out the sordid details—but when I got to the last day, the one where I had left, I couldn’t control my tears anymore.
“I’m really sorry, Dr. Conner. I’m a mess right now.” I told him what Tom had said to me that day and how hurt and destroyed I felt. At his urging, I finally told him about the last time I’d seen him at the club, and how sad and broken he looked. I was so lost, like a part of me had been ripped out, and I didn’t know how to pick myself back up.
“Talia, I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. Sometimes there isn’t an easy way out of a problem, but from what you’ve shared with me just now, I think it’s pretty safe to say that you love this man, even after everything.” I nodded. I did love Tom.
“Love is irrational, but so is pain. I imagine Tom is hurting just as much as you right now. Sometimes the people you would take a bullet for are the ones pulling the trigger.” He sighed and then smiled back at me. “Sometimes we push away the ones we love and need the most because we think it’s best for them. Maybe Tom feels like he’s a burden and doesn’t want to tie you down.” Wow, I hadn’t thought of it that way.
“Why don’t you tell him how you feel? Just lay it all out there. If he doesn’t return your feelings, then you’ll have that closure and be able to move on.” Dr. Conner reached out and squeezed my hand before excusing himself.
I sat there with my uneaten sandwich for the next fifteen minutes until my pager went off. I had no idea what to do next. Maybe Dr. Conner was right. Maybe I needed to tell Tom how I felt. I guess I hadn’t realized that I never put that out there.
They always say that actions speak louder than words, but I guess sometime the words are just as necessary.
I stood up and pushed in my chair before setting my tray on the garbage can. I wrapped my sandwich back up in the plastic wrap and brought it with me. I would have to save it for later. My life seemed full of missed opportunities lately.
Chapter16
Tom
“How does that feel?” James asked as he watched me stand. James was a prosthetist that I had been working with over the last few weeks to be fitted with my new prosthesis. I had been wearing a temporary prosthesis, whenever I was alone, to get used to it, but continued to use my crutches out in public. I wasn’t quite comfortable with using it yet. I wanted to make sure it felt perfect before …
“Tom?” James was waiting for me to try it out.
“Oh, sorry.” I took several steps, marveling at the difference from the temporary one. This felt so sturdy and the fit was much more comfortable. “It’s good.” I grinned.
“Great! If you decide you need some adjustments or anything after you wear it a while, just call.” James packed up his things before turning back to face me. “Tom, these are only the first steps, and stepping out of your comfort zone isn’t easy, but it is one of the most important steps you’ll take. You don’t always need a chance at a new beginning. Sometimes you just need a chance at a different ending.” He smacked me on the back and winked as he let himself out.
I had a lot of time to think over the past weeks. Wearing the prosthesis had done something for my confidence. For the first time since the accident, I felt like I had a future. James had helped me get fitted with a high tech prosthesis that would allow me to run and move like an athlete.
Before, I was so sure that I would have to give up coaching soccer. I mean, what could I possibly offer these kids now, but that was soon proven wrong when James had introduced me to several amputees at the clinic. I met men and women who had succeeded beyond my imagination after losing a limb–or even two. There were athletes across the board from runners to cyclists, but the ultimate inspiration was from a sixteen year old girl who played on her Varsity soccer team with a lower leg prosthesis. It was incredible to see, and it warmed my heart. I felt like, little by little, I was being put back together, so when my principal called to see how I was doing and ask what my plans were for the upcoming school year, I gladly told him I would be back to both teaching and coaching.
The wedding was this Saturday, and as Trevor’s groomsmen, there were several last minute things we needed to take care of.
I wore my prosthesis for several hours, but removed it before leaving to meet up at Nick’s place. I was driving again, another huge step for my freedom. I grabbed my forearm crutches and my keys and closed my door b
ehind me with more confidence than I’d had in years.
***
Much to my relief, the wedding rehearsal was mostly a verbal rundown of the ceremony, rather than a complete walk through.
I was leaning against the doorframe of the private room at Maggiano’s, the venue where the rehearsal dinner was being held. Several of Ava and Trevor’s family members were moving around, preparing to take their seats.
I was holding out—waiting to choose my seat until I saw where Talia sat. I didn’t want to sit right next to her, not yet, but I wanted to be able to see her, hear her, and just feel her presence.
She was stunning, as usual, in a sage halter dress that draped her body like an exquisite gift that had been wrapped with care. I still felt that emptiness and loss deep within my chest as I looked at her.
She was polite, nodding a hello to me with a small smile during the rehearsal. I wanted so much to just hold her, to tell her how wrong I’d been. I wanted to explain that I was hurting and broken before—that I couldn’t see past my own anguish to notice the unconditional love she offered me. Most of all, I wanted her to know how sorry I was for hurting her.
I felt a hand gently touch my arm. “Are you ready to sit, Tom?” Ava watched me with a knowing smile. I had been caught, and I had no desire to deny it. I smiled down at Ava—the beautiful woman that had captured my best friend’s heart. Not only had she been the best thing to ever happen to Trevor, she had become such a pivotal part of all of our lives. We became a family—all of us. I knew in my heart that I had to fix things with Talia. I just needed to wait for the right time.
“Sure.” I winked at her, and she squeezed my arm before returning to Trevor’s side and taking a seat. I made my way over to the table, sitting a few seats down and across from Talia. She looked up as I sat down and put my crutches out of the way. Our eyes locked, and for a moment, I felt like everything was right. The kindness I saw in her eyes warmed me like a hot summer day, and I could almost feel the way her lips had felt on my skin. The way her touch sent electric currents through my broken body. The ways her loving words soothed my soul.
I would make things right. I had to.
***
As much as I’d hoped to get the chance to speak with Talia last night, the opportunity never quite presented itself. I had caught her stealing as many glances at me as she had caught me stealing at her. I was determined to speak with her tonight, come hell or high water.
I knocked on the door to the room where Trevor and Nick were hanging out until it was time for the ceremony. I had asked to meet them there so that I could get ready at home.
“Come in!” Trevor’s low voice billowed from within the confines of the room. I opened the door slowly and walked through. I turned to close the door and smiled to myself when I heard their gasps.
“What the hell?” Nick stood up, staring at me in complete astonishment, while Trevor’s face spread into a full on grin.
I hadn’t worn either of the prostheses around them. They knew I was going to physical therapy, but never asked about my plans for future fittings. I couldn’t blame them. I hadn’t exactly been approachable the past few months.
I squared my shoulders and walked over to where they were, unable to control my smile as they watched me move almost flawlessly. My heart swelled with pride when I saw how happy they were, and I knew they understood how far I’d come.
“Well shit! I was hoping to play up the handicapped man’s best friend tonight to attract the women. I guess that idea’s shot.” Nick shook his head in mock disgust, although his smile never wavered.
“Why didn’t you say something, Tom?” Trevor stepped forward and handed me a beer. I moved to the chair next to the couch and sat down.
“I wanted to make sure I could do it first, and when I had gotten everything figured out, I decided to surprise you all by walking with you and standing tall next to you on the best day of your life.” I grinned.
“Welcome back, man. We missed you.” Trevor said with tears momentarily filling his eyes before getting them under control.
“It’s good to be back.” I took a long draw from my beer as I sat back and crossed my right leg over my left. We sat there in almost a euphoric state until the wedding officiant came in to let us know it was time.
We stood and followed her out to where the ceremony would take place. As we walked to the front, I heard several gasps as friends and loved ones noticed that I was walking. The shock in each gasp built me up, keeping me standing tall as I took each step, ready to take my chance at a different ending.
Chapter 17
Talia
She was the most beautiful bride I’d ever seen. Ava stood before me in her gorgeous strapless silk gown. It hung to her curves in all the right places. The stark white stood in contrast with her long dark hair that was pulled up into a messy up-do with long curls falling in random cascades around her face and back.
Her makeup was darker than usual with a slightly smoky eye that made her delicate features pop. Trevor was going to shit when he saw her.
“Ava, you are stunning!” I hugged her, careful not to mess her up.
“Thank you. I don’t know what I would’ve done without you and Chelsea. This wedding came together without any snags because of both of you.” Her eyes watered, and I shook my head.
“Oh no you don’t! You’ll mess yourself up and then Trevor will run the other way,” I laughed, knowing he would be more likely to still run to her.
“Okay, girls, time for a glass of wine.” Chelsea poured us each a glass of white wine. We sat down, trying to relax before it was time for the ceremony to begin. Ava and Chelsea started talking about someone at work, giving me the time I needed to lose myself in my own thoughts.
Last night had been a test of my patience. So many times I had wanted to talk to Tom, to do what Dr. Conner had suggested and lay it all out on the table, but the time hadn’t been right. I never got close enough to him to actually even say hello.
I did, however, have plenty of opportunities to watch him, and my heart melted like ice on a hot summer day at the change in him. His eyes looked more alive. He stood tall and strong—much more like the Tom I used to know. He was the Tom before the accident.
I couldn’t stop loving him. My heart was empty without him. I was drawn to him like a bee to honey. I had to find a way to show him how much he meant to me.
The knock on the door brought me back from my thoughts. The wedding officiant—Danielle Blake—entered, her friendly smile setting the mood of the room. “Ava, it’s just about time. I wanted to stop by before I went to gather the guys to make sure you didn’t need anything.”
Ava had fallen in love with Danielle the moment she had met her. She had such a personal approach to each and every wedding, taking the time to get to know the bride and groom so the ceremony would be all about them and not a cookie cutter wedding. I could see why Ava liked her. It would be just what I would’ve looked for if it were my wedding. For a moment I pictured my own wedding, walking down the aisle to the arms of the man I love. Tom’s face flashed through my mind, my heart raced, and warmth flowed through my body. A girl could dream, right?
As we stood there waiting for the moment when we would walk down the aisle, I looked over at Ava, noticing the nervousness plastered over her features. “Hey, stop it with the nerves. You have been waiting for this day for as long as I’ve known you. Don’t freak out now that you finally added a face to the fantasy.” I winked at her, knowing that her nerves weren’t due to doubts, but anticipation and excitement.
Chelsea peeked out the door, watching for the sign that it was time for us to leave the confines of this room and move down the hallway, out the French doors, to lead Ava into her future.
“Okay, let’s do this.” Chelsea winked and smiled as she opened the door and walked out slowly in front of us. It was my turn next. I blew a kiss to Ava and began my own walk. Ava was walking down the aisle alone, knowing that the memory of her father was wit
h her the whole way. She was amazing.
Chelsea was about ten feet in front of me, her silver dress flowing and fluttering beautifully with every step. I couldn’t wipe the shit-eating grin off my face. I was so happy for my friends. I turned the corner, bringing myself to the end of the long white carpet. Looking up, I saw Trevor standing there so proud and happy that it warmed my heart. I took precise, timed steps, glancing up as I got about halfway down the aisle.
My smile turned into an open mouth the moment my eyes landed on Tom, standing on two feet without the aid of his crutches. I bit back the tears I felt instantly fill my eyes. He was all smiles as I looked at him, unable to tear my eyes away. His shoulders were squared, and he stood taller than I’d seen since the accident, maybe even before. He exuded strength and pride, and it took all of my power not to run and throw myself into his arms and pour my heart and soul out to him.
By the time I made it to the front and took my place, I was so emotionally charged that I could hardly stand still. I smiled at Trevor, Tom, and Nick before turning my attention to Danielle as she spoke, “All rise.” The doors opened, and there she was.
She was even more stunning with the glowing blush that flooded her face the moment she laid eyes on her future husband. My heart swelled from the enormity of the love that they shared. It was truly beautiful.
Trevor walked several feet to meet Ava, taking her hands and leading her to stand with him in front of Danielle.
“Please be seated,” Danielle began. “Good evening. Today, you have invited me to be with you to share in the celebration of your marriage. We come together not to mark the start of a relationship, but to recognize a bond that already exists.” My eyes filled with tears. “Ava and Trevor, in your devotion, respect, and love for each other, you wish to unite in the holy bond of marriage. You come together to dedicate yourselves to each other's happiness and well-being as best friends, life mates, and partners.” She paused. “Please look into each other’s eyes as you pledge your intent and say your vows to one another. No other ties are more tender, no other vows more sacred than those you now pledge.”
