“Fine. Just don't judge them. At least until you've walked a mile in their shoes.”
“They are whores, Corliss. 'Tis not hard to see that their entire existence is steeped in sin.”
Shaking her head, Ginny asked, “Maybe they think you're the lazy one, Megan. All you do is go around talking, not putting in an honest day's work.”
Gasping, Megan rose to her feet. “I work very hard. I have helped you with the sewing. I have not put my feet up and enjoyed this journey. I earn my keep, Corliss.”
“It doesn't feel good to be judged, does it?”
Taking her seat once again, feeling a pouty anger come over her, Megan said snidely, “With you sharing the captain's bed, it is a wonder you bother to do any work yourself.”
Ginny looked at the smug satisfaction come across Megan's face, then burst out laughing. When she saw Megan's mouth gape open, she laughed even harder. Getting herself under control, she said, “Oh, that's great. How long have you been waiting to use that against me?”
“You are unmarried and sharing a cabin with Captain Webster. 'Tis immoral.”
“There are plenty of things that are immoral, Megan, but you don't see me pointing them out. Live and let live, I always say.”
“That would defeat the purpose of my work.”
“Your work? Seems to me that you were forced into it. Besides, what's your father doing at this moment? I haven't seen him offer to help out.”
“He is not well. His back pains him daily. I can carry on for both of us.”
Ginny saw the cat fight spiraling out of control. Here she was, a thirty year old woman, arguing semantics with an eighteen year old who had a pretty shitty life. She had to admit that it was a new low. There would be no changing her mind, especially since her entire self-worth was based on her moral superiority. Take that away and the girl had nothing, save for some ugly dresses and a lazy father.
“I'm sorry, Megan. I don't want to argue with you. But what is between Nathaniel and I is our business, okay?”
Refusing to meet her gaze, Megan nodded her head. She didn't really care that Corliss was sharing a man's bed. She cared that she was sharing Captain Webster's bed. Something about the man captivated her as no other man had before. And she had had love professed to her two dozen times since arriving in the West Indies. Never once did she believe the man held her best interests in mind. That was, until Captain Webster. He hadn't tried to kiss her or fondle her. He was just kind to her and it made her feel whole.
“I had better get going. Hold on to my sewing basket and finish up the dresses. You can wear this one to dinner tonight,” Ginny said, holding up the one Megan had indicated was her favorite.
Ginny got up and left before saying something stupid again. She had a lot of thinking to do, an activity she swore she wouldn't do this time around. Her attempt at casual, monogamous sex had gone awry, again. When was she going to learn that the story must go on, whether she agreed with it or not.
********
Dinner was, needless to say, uncomfortable. Ginny ate her food slowly, conscious of every bite. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife, and Ginny wanted not to be the one to set off the powder keg. Instead, she kept her mouth shut.
Nathaniel spent most of the meal staring between the two women at his table. It was a bit like the devil he knew versus the one he didn't. Corliss was everything he could want in a bed partner, but nothing he wanted outside his cabin. Megan was the personification of everything he'd always thought he'd wanted in a woman, but, for all he knew, could be as cold as a fish otherwise. The question was who could he bring home and have a family with and the answer was as clear as day.
Nathaniel had never intended to live this life forever. He had hopes of a family life. He wanted to be able to socialize in London, but despaired that anyone would accept an Irish wife, even if she was a gentleman's daughter. Corliss, on the other hand, was completely unacceptable, since she couldn't even return to England without facing the hangman's noose.
Megan sat and tried to analyze every look that Corliss gave Captain Webster and vice versa. Was that love in his eyes? Often she thought it was, but then other times, it looked like indigestion. He would have to feel something for Corliss in order to share a bed with her, right? Megan knew he wasn't like the other men of her acquaintance. Captain Webster had honor. He would never ill use a woman, just to satisfy his carnal needs. Could he ever look at her like that? Like she was the sole object in a room, the only creature he wanted near him? Looking down at her new gown, she hoped so, because her longing was keeping her up at night.
Would she be brave enough to talk to him? They would be in Puerto Rico in a few days, so her time was running out. If she didn't find out how he felt, she would live the rest of her life with regret. And if there was one thing that Megan had enough of, it was regret.
As soon as dinner was over, Ginny got up to excuse herself. “If you will excuse me, I need to speak to Spencer about something before bed. Good night, Megan. Mr. McCarthy.”
“I think it would be a good time for us to retire as well, Megan,” McCarthy said, rubbing his back from sitting in the hard chair.
Megan smiled at her father and nodded. Nathaniel watched her go, feeling as if his chance was slipping away. But what could he do? The old man would undoubtedly never allow him any time alone with his daughter, not that he could blame him. Both McCarthys left without a backwards glance.
Nathaniel called in his cabin boy to clean up from dinner. Leaving his cabin, he went up on deck and found a dark corner to stand in. His crew was efficient enough not to require him, and he needed to think long and hard about what he needed to do.
Staring out into the vast darkness, Nathaniel's heart nearly stopped when a hand grabbed his arm. Turning abruptly, he barely made out the figure beside him. Definitely a woman, but too small to be Corliss, his heart leapt when he realized it was Megan.
“Captain Webster, I was wondering if I might speak to you for a moment.”
Her voice was like a choir of angels singing just for him. The light was so bad, he thought that no one would see the two of them, so he asked, “What is it I can do for you, Megan? Is your father unwell?”
“No, he is fine. I put him to bed, but...” Megan didn't know if she could finish her sentence. Her hand still laid on his arm, burning her fingers with the intensity of him. She was a good girl and had always been, so why was it she desperately wanted the captain to kiss her at that moment.
Almost on its own, Nathaniel's hand rose up and cupped her cheek. Even in the bad light, his mind's eye held a picture of her face before him. Would she smile over the familiarity of his touch or would she pull away? She definitely did not pull away.
“Ask me what you want to know, Megan.”
His deep timbre was a balm to her fear. This man would never laugh at her, never belittle her. Even if he didn't feel the same, he would let her down easy, not drop her into a pit of despair. Swallowing, she asked, “Do you feel it?”
Such a simple question, but he knew exactly what she asked. In answer, he dropped his head down and kissed her soft lips. Though she should have slapped his face, instead, she responded in kind. Reaching up on her tip toes, Megan returned his kiss. When he opened her mouth and reached inside to taste her, her trust in him was clear.
To Nathaniel, it was like fireworks going off in his head. His other hand reached around her waist and pulled her closer. It became apparent to him that one kiss would never be enough. Any question of his sweet Megan being a cold fish were answered by her vibrant response. This woman would be a tiger in his bed, willing to learn how to please him as much as he planned on pleasing her.
When her hands reached up to touch his chest, he pulled away. After steadying his breath, he said, “If you touch me like that, I shall take you right now, Megan. I want something better for you.”
“But I want you, Captain Webster, as I have never wanted another.”
Chuckling over her fo
rmality, he responded, “Then start by calling me Nathaniel.”
She smiled. It did seem absurd to be so formal after the soul-searing kiss he'd just delivered. Taking a slow, deep breath, she said, “I have never contemplated committing such a sin before, but I find myself so attracted to you. Will you not kiss me again?”
Nathaniel knew what his answer should be and not just because Corliss was somewhere nearby. Megan deserved better than a quick tumble, only to be left off on Puerto Rico with her father. But, just because she deserved better, didn't mean that his body wasn't at war with his mind. If he didn't seek relief soon, it would be a long, painful night.
Instead of riding down the path of common sense, Nathaniel gave in to her request. Bending down once again, his lips touched hers. His intent had been for an innocent kiss, but once their bodies touched, he was all over her. Starting with her mouth, he moved on to her jaw, her ear, and down the column of her neck. His hands sought out the prize that was her breasts. He heard her gasp, but not in alarm, which only incited him further. This was madness, but before he could consider the consequences of his actions, he grabbed her wrist and walked to briskly back to her cabin.
Following her inside, he closed the door silently and turned on the oil lamp. Her eyes were as wide as saucers, her breathing erratic. Leaning against the door, he said, “Tell me to leave, Megan.”
She straightened her shoulders and responded, “No. I do not want you to leave.”
Closing his eyes for a moment, he reminded her that her father was right next door.
“He sleeps like the dead. He will not hear us.”
His control was slipping and he knew that he could never do the right thing and leave on his own. He needed her to kick him out. Despite all the logical thoughts going through his head, like the fact that she was a virgin, that he would have to marry her for sure, and that Corliss could, at that very moment, be asleep in the bunk they shared, nothing could move Nathaniel from that spot. Nothing, except Megan telling him to leave.
“You cannot want me, Megan. You are too good.”
“Perhaps I am tired of being so good, Nathaniel. Perhaps 'tis time I did something for myself.”
His composure broke and he grabbed her, bending her backwards and kissing the living daylights out of her. Lifting her carefully, he placed her gingerly on the berth, careful not to hit her head. While still kissing her, he noticed his little temptress was undressing him. Any doubts flew from his mind, knowing that Megan was lost in the same passion as his own.
His last coherent thought was of Corliss. He didn't feel badly about taking Megan, only that he hoped he wouldn't get caught.
********
After leaving her cabin after dinner, Ginny did seek out Spencer. She found him and Gideon, playing cards in Gideon's cabin. The two had saved a chair for her, which she gladly took, along with the large mug of ale they had saved for her as well.
“How was dinner?” Gideon asked, trying to hide his smile.
“Awkward,” Ginny replied, answering the obvious.
Spencer looked from one to the other. “Does that mean your relationship with the captain is at an end?”
“Not according to him,” she answered, without any enthusiasm.
“Perhaps the thing has run its course, Corliss.” Gideon, the philosopher.
Hiking up an eyebrow, Ginny said, “Then what? Do you think he will keep me on board after we split? Or is it more likely that he will dump me off in Puerto Rico with the McCarthys?”
Spencer chimed in, “He would never do that, Corliss. He is, above anything else, a gentleman.”
“Like his cousin?” Even Ginny cringed at her reference. Since shacking up together, Nathaniel had been very accommodating.
“Do you still plan to use my cabin, or will you be going back to your own room tonight?”
“I don't know, Gideon. Part of me doesn't want to appear petty, but then another part of me never wants to go back.” Leaning back in her chair, staring at the ceiling, Ginny released a sigh. “I wish I could figure out what to do.”
“It will all work out, Corliss. Have a little faith.”
Sitting back up, she gave Gideon a look. “Thanks, Gideon. Very helpful.”
Gideon laughed and told Spencer to deal the cards. Maybe if she spent the night playing cards, she wouldn't have to make a decision over where to spend the night. It seemed like a good idea, so she started to pay attention in earnest. If nothing else, she needed to cheat some money out of her friends in case she found herself standing on a dock in Puerto Rico, wondering how to get back to Hispaniola.
Chapter 28
Sometime in the middle of the night, Ginny did return to her cabin. Gideon, who looked worn out from their card game, needed to get more rest than she. His work was much harder. So, finally relenting, she returned, hoping to find Nathaniel asleep. Instead, she found him absent, which suited her just fine.
Early the next morning, shortly before the sun would rise above the horizon, a terrible scream broke the calm. Ginny sat bolt upright, trying to get her bearings. The screams continued, the kind that spoke of fear.
Ginny got out of bed and put on her clothes in record time. As she ran down the hall, she caught Nathaniel, half naked leaving Megan's room. The sight was enough to stop her in her tracks, despite the continued screaming.
“What the hell?” she asked, as the man turned and found himself good and caught.
Taking on an authoritative tone, Nathaniel said, “Not now.”
Putting her feelings aside, and glad to do so, both Ginny and Nathaniel headed toward the screaming. By the time they reached Tilly's door, there was a small crowd. Gideon was already there, his arm around Tilly, calming her down.
Nathaniel looked at his first in command and asked, “What is it?”
Gideon spied Corliss behind Nathaniel and whispered, “'Tis the boy, sir.”
Ginny heard his words, but didn't comprehend them immediately. When she finally realized what had happened, she pushed past Nathaniel into the small room, going to Noddy's bunk. There he lay, peaceful in repose, not moving. Sitting next to him on the bunk, she felt his skin. A thickness came over her, mostly in her throat, at the coldness.
Time seemed to slow down for Ginny. She heard Nathaniel asking what happened. She heard Tilly soft mewling cries. But all she saw was Noddy's face. The paleness reminded her of an angel.
As a medical professional, she knew that children with Down's Syndrome rarely lived past their early teens, when not treated for other ailments related to their condition. She could be rational, knowing that Noddy had had a good life thanks to Tilly. But in the end, she wanted to scream out at the injustice of his passing.
Caressing his face one final time, Ginny could barely breath past the lump in her throat. Crying wasn't an option, not yet. She had work to do. Putting on her coat of professionalism, Ginny turned just in time to see Spencer make his way into the small cabin. He had a bag with him, but Ginny merely shook her head.
Spencer called to a couple of crew members to help carry the body to the surgery, where he could prepare him for the burial. Ginny was pulled away, but not before finally speaking up.
Swallowing back the tears she wanted to shed, she said, “Tilly should have a moment with him. She should be able to say goodbye.”
Spencer scrunched his face. “It would be cruel, Corliss. She will have time to mourn.”
Grabbing Spencer's arm, she said with more force than usual, “Tilly was his mother. She needs to say goodbye. Don't cross me on this, Spencer.”
Searching her eyes, he nodded and walked from the room. Ginny came forward and took Tilly in her arms. Walking her slowly back, Ginny whispered, “Do you want to be alone for a moment?”
Tilly looked up at her and shook her head.
“Do you want to say goodbye,” Ginny asked, voice cracking with the effort.
Nodding, Tilly sat at the edge of the bed, just as Ginny had, and took one of Noddy's hands. Holding it to her
cheek, the tears fell freely onto the boy. Leaning down, Ginny saw Tilly kiss his cheek and whisper something so quietly that no one could hear. When done, she replaced the hand on Noddy's chest and walked out of the room, not looking back.
Ginny called the men forward to deliver the body to the surgery. As she walked out of the cabin herself, she saw Nathaniel watching her. There would be time later to confront him, but now wasn't the time. She had to get to the surgery and help Spencer with the body. Then she had to find a quiet place to be alone. After so many adventures, after so many goodbyes, Ginny realized that she was facing the worst goodbye of all. And she didn't know if she would ever get past it.
A Lesson in Presumption Page 19
