********
Later that afternoon, most of the crew stood on the deck, listening to Frank McCarthy eulogize a boy he'd barely known. No one spoke, as if the ability to do so had been taken away with Noddy. It would take weeks before most of the crew realized what the boy had been to the Victory Sound. Most of what he did, many didn't even realize. Mostly, he brought a ray of sunshine and love. He was an all-consuming happiness, never angry, bitter or defeated. He would be missed sorely.
But, it was 1775 and people died all the time. The crew would be accustomed to losing loved ones to simple things, though at the time they did not seem so simple. To Ginny, knowing what humanity would be capable of doing, it was a damn shame. People would be sad, but life would go on. And maybe that was how it should be.
Ginny stood holding Tilly, whose tears had dried as she stood stoically watching the proceedings. Ginny could only imagine her pain. Although she hadn't given birth to Noddy, she had provided for him for many years. To Tilly, Noddy was her one chance at motherhood.
When the body was finally committed to the sea, Ginny felt Tilly stiffen slightly, then go slack as though her spirit left her. Before anything could be said, Tilly turned and walked away, back to the cabin she'd shared with her son, to mourn in solitude.
Ginny let her go, giving her the space she needed to adjust to this new reality. As she turned to watch Tilly leave, her eyes came upon Megan, whose eyes were red from crying. When Megan made eye contact with Ginny, her red eyes grew bigger. Did she know that Ginny knew? As far as Ginny was concerned, she didn't care, at least not at that moment.
Walking past the crowd on deck, Ginny went in the direction of her own cabin. When Nathaniel stepped in front of her, Ginny's eyes closed, trying to block out the confrontation. Swallowing her pain, she looked at him, waiting for him to make the first move.
“We need to talk,” was his brilliant response.
“Yes,” was all she gave him back, but then turned and walked away. Now she knew she couldn't go back to the cabin without having an argument. Instead, she went to the surgery. She couldn't hide forever, but at least she could avoid the inevitable for a little while.
Sitting on the chair that Spencer often occupied, Ginny let herself cry. She hated herself for doing it, since she'd made the agreement with herself not to get too involved. If she fell in love, even with a young boy, she was opening herself up to pain. Hadn't she spent half of the last adventure depressed over Colby? She was going to take the easy path, no love, just great sex. And she'd had that for a while, with Nathaniel, but now that bastard had ruined it.
Her tears subsided for a moment as she considered that he hadn't been the one to ruin it. The story had wanted him to fall in love and she wasn't going to let that happen, so it brought someone else on board to ensure it. Would he have loved her if she'd let him? Maybe not, since Ginny was who she was, and nothing could change who she was inside.
Leaning heavily on her hand against Spencer's table, Ginny was all too aware of just how pathetic her life was. How many people could claim that they managed to screw up the contrived? Of course, hadn't she been doing just that in her real life? Every man had something wrong with them. Not just something wrong, but a deal breaker that would prevent her from living her happily ever after. She wasn't naïve enough to think that she'd given up her Prince Charming, but maybe her whole attitude had kept the right man from finding her.
Before she could wax philosophical about her lamentable life, Spencer walked in. They had worked together to prepare Noddy for burial, but they hadn't spoken, as if they knew that words were unnecessary. Anything said would have opened a torrent of emotion that neither was prepared to deal with.
Ginny looked at him with swollen, red eyes and tried to smile. Though it was more likely a sneer, Spencer came forward and lifted her from her seat and hugged her. It was just what Ginny needed, some human contact and compassion. She wouldn't accept it from Nathaniel, not after discovering his whereabouts the night before. Gideon would be busy trying to keep the boat on its course. Thankfully, she had Spencer. The tears started again and in moments, Spencer was drenched.
After a few minutes, Ginny had exhausted her pain and pulled away. Immediately, Spencer handed her a handkerchief to wipe her face. Taking a deep breath, Ginny looked up at Spencer, wanting to see that everything would be alright. His look of concern was for her, not for the situation, and that was reassuring.
“Will you be well, Corliss?”
She nodded slowly, taking her seat once again. She needed to tell him about Nathaniel. Ginny needed the burden to be shared, not wanting to carry it alone.
“Before I got to Noddy's room this morning, I found Nathaniel leaving Megan's room.”
His eyes widened. “What?” he hissed.
“Sorry, Spencer. I didn't mean to lay that on you.”
“Is that why you were crying?” he asked, clearly confused, figuring her pain was over Noddy.
“Cry over Nathaniel? Hell, no. It's just something I'm going to have to deal with, and I don't want to. No, my tears are solely for Noddy and Tilly.”
She looked down at her hands and asked, “What am I going to do? I don't think I can handle this right now, you know.”
Before she could look up, Spencer once again grabbed her from the chair and pulled her to him. His arms went around her and his lips came down on hers. At first the kiss was gentle, but it didn't take long before he became passionate. Ginny just stood there, allowing the kiss, but not really believing what was going on.
When Spencer pulled away, he stared into her eyes and said, “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do that.”
“Wha...?”
His hand caressed her cheek gently. “You need to end it with Webster. Right now. And do not concern yourself with the future. I vow to take care of you.”
Ginny's mouth gaped open and close like a fish. Where in the hell did that come from, she wondered as he released her. Spencer was in love with her... since when? They had been friends and there was an abysmal number of choices for romance on board the ship, but he'd never indicated he'd felt anything like this.
“Go on now. The sooner you tell him, the better for both of you. If he treats you dishonorably, I shall call him out, savior or not.”
Nodding her head dumbly, Ginny walked out of the surgery. As she made her way back to her cabin, some of the numbness wore off and she was able to think. Spencer was not hard on the eyes, and he was incredibly compassionate. Could she feel something more? If she'd learned anything from her last adventure, it was that the best relationships came from friendship first.
A smile crept on her lips as she thought back to his kiss. It had been a good kiss, which probably meant that the rest would be good as well. Despite the awful day, Ginny knew it would be alright. That was what Noddy had left her with, his legacy. That despite everything else, there was always something to be happy about.
Chapter 29
Megan found Nathaniel in his cabin, staring out the porthole at the sea. His door was open, so she walked in, making sure to close it behind her. She had just left her father, who was complaining again of his back. The pain came and went, usually after hard work. And that day, the work had been terribly hard.
Though she barely knew the boy, she'd come to appreciate his specialness. He'd always had a smile for her and looked out for her in small ways. Her first day on board, after she'd met him and he was petting her hair, she found some scented soap in her cabin. At the time she had no idea where it came from, but later the boy confessed, saying that she was as sweet as the smell of the soap. His passing affected her far more than she would have thought, making her think about what she might never have.
The night before, she'd freely given herself to Nathaniel, figuring her virginity didn't matter when she would never marry, never have a family of her own. Her father spoke of their next stop, never considering that the life he chose was not hers. Guilt washed over her at her disloyalty. The man had rai
sed her and cared for her as best as he could. She had no excuses for not following him if he needed her.
But now there was a larger consideration. Though they'd only met a few days ago, she was fairly certain that she was in love with Nathaniel. When he took her in his arms the night before, he'd blessed her with his gentleness, explaining what would happen, and apologizing for the pain. He'd brought her to new heights of pleasure, which she would never regret.
The question was whether Nathaniel felt the same about her. If it were only for his carnal enjoyment, would he have even bothered with her? He had Corliss for that. He was too kind to take her as a conquest, soon forgotten. If that were the case, he would not have stayed the whole night with her, cradling her in his arms while she slept.
She had to find out what he was feeling, because her whole life might hinge on this man. Would he want to spend a lifetime with her, have children with her? Most English would never consider taking on an Irish wife, let alone a gentleman with ties to the peerage. Was she deluding herself, should she just walk away and save herself the pain of his rejection?
Staring at the man himself as he was lost in thought, Megan knew she had to lay her soul out before him. If she didn't, then she would know the true meaning of regret. Clearing her throat, Nathaniel turned to look at her. The minute she saw the smile cross his face, she knew he would never leave her. Her heart lifted as if on wings. Happiness could be hers.
“I was about to come looking for you, my darling,” he said, his voice deep with emotion.
“I wanted to make sure you were well, after all that has happened.”
“Noddy was a good boy, and he will be missed. But, I have been thinking that maybe this life is not what I want anymore.”
Quirking an eyebrow in question, Megan asked, “What kind of life would you like now, Nathaniel?”
Walking from the window, Nathaniel took Megan in his arms and kissed her slowly, seductively. His tongue invaded her mouth like a conquering hero, which was exactly what he wanted to be. He wanted to be Megan's hero, saving her from a life wasted, making her the mother of his children. Could she accept that? Could she marry him?
“I would like to return home. I have a beautiful estate that was left to me by my family. Would you... Could you be happy with me in England?”
Megan saw the vulnerability in his face and her heart melted at once. She could be happy anywhere this man was. The only thing that could mar this moment was the door opening and Corliss walking in.
Ginny took in the scene at once and figured she'd interrupted something important. Though she should have been angry, jealous or at least put out, she wasn't. Instead, she started laughing. Inappropriate, judging by the looks on Megan and Nathaniel's faces, but she just couldn't help herself. The storyline got its way, again. She was but a pawn to its plot.
Nathaniel grew angry at his former lover's behavior. He had just proposed to the woman he loved and Corliss was making a mockery of the moment. It never occurred to him that only yesterday he was kissing her and asking her to stay in his bed.
“What is so funny, Corliss?” he asked, menacing tone and all.
Collecting herself, she shook her head. “Did I disturb something? Tell me that you asked for her hand, Nathaniel or I will tell her father what you did.”
“You are not angry at me?”
“No. Well, yes, in a way. Just yesterday, I gave you the opportunity to put an end to our relationship and you didn't take it. Then you seduced an innocent girl behind my back. That makes you kind of a scumbag.”
Megan looked at Nathaniel unkindly. “Why would you do that, Nathaniel? I thought you had more honor than that. Did you think that if I rejected you, you could still have Corliss?”
“No, Megan, it was not like that. It was... is complicated. Corliss and I have been... we are...” A satisfying flush came to Nathaniel cheeks as he tried to talk his way out of it.
Megan turned to leave, but before storming out of the room, she turned to Ginny. “I owe you an apology, Corliss. I let my baser self overtake my common sense.”
Ginny saw the tears in the girl's eyes and thought she might have to fix things. On the other hand, the mega couple always had to have their misunderstanding, so maybe she would just let the bastard stew for a while before saving him.
“Don't worry about it, Megan. It will do him good to be without anyone for a while.”
Both women left the room together and Ginny walked Megan back to her cabin. Choosing instead to check on her father, Megan entered his cabin. It served two purposes. She could make sure her father was well, and she could avoid Nathaniel, who wouldn't dare intrude.
Ginny decided to go and tell Spencer what had happened. He had asked her to break it off, and although the words hadn't been said, Ginny figured that Nathaniel could figure it out. Also, she just wanted to see him. Smiling, she set off to find her new man. It should bother her that she was on her third in one book, but for some reason, it just didn't.
********
When Ginny got back to the surgery, she found Spencer with a patient. Not needing her help, Ginny sought out Gideon, but he was too busy to listen to her tale. Before she could find somewhere to hide and avoid Nathaniel, Mr. Hopkins called her over and asked for help.
Thankfully, helping Hopkins took the better part of two hours. By the time she was finished, it was time to eat. Gideon and Spencer welcomed her at their table, which was just a table in the surgery.
“So, Corliss, what happened with Nathaniel?” Gideon asked, not knowing what had happened between her and Spencer, but having heard from Spencer that Corliss had caught Megan and Nathaniel together.
“I went to talk to him and he was with Megan.”
Spencer looked angry, but Gideon lightened the mood by asking, “You would not have killed her, would you?”
Laughing, Ginny said, “No. I don't blame her at all. But I did get Nathaniel in trouble.”
Raising an eyebrow, Gideon nodded, telling her to continue her story.
“She was ignorant of the fact that Nathaniel had, only yesterday before seducing her, been given the chance to break it off with me and begged me to stay.”
Spencer chimed in, “Begged?”
Turning to her new boyfriend, she answered, “On his hands and knees.”
All three laughed and continued the meal. Before Ginny could clarify further, the man himself walked into the room. Nathaniel gave each man a look in turn, then focused his attention on Ginny.
“If you have completed your meal, Corliss, we need to talk.” His tone was even, but his look spoke of screaming and yelling. Not that Ginny minded, she was really good at screaming and yelling.
“I am finished, Nathaniel. What would you like to talk about?”
“Not here.”
Spencer stood up and faced the captain. “You will not hurt her, aye?”
Nathaniel turned to his doctor and said, “You do not give me orders on my own ship, Sherwood. You would do well to remember that it was I who saved you from death.”
Taking on a shrewd stare, Spencer replied, “Aye, I remember. I still will not allow you to harm Corliss.”
“What could it possibly be to you, Sherwood?” Nathaniel asked, knowing the two were friends, but having no idea that Spencer would jeopardize his position over his captain's lover.
Gideon stood up as well, sensing a strange tension in the air. Having always been an observer of people, Gideon was well aware that Spencer had formed a tendre toward Corliss. But was he willing to announce his feelings now, with the tension so thick?
“She is my friend Captain, and I am more than willing to protect her from further harm.”
“Further harm? When have I harmed her?”
Ginny raised both eyebrows, eyes wide in disbelief, before stating, “You knocked me over the head and stuck me in a dirty hold for two days.” When she saw the look come across Nathaniel's face, Ginny said, “Now, boys, let's not fight. Come on, Nathaniel. You're right, we do need t
o talk.”
Before leaving the room, she shot a look at Spencer to keep his trap shut. Walking back to her old cabin, she entered the well lit room and noticed that dinner had been set for only one. Megan must have sent her regrets to the captain, instead eating alone with her father.
She sat on the edge of the bed, as Nathaniel paced the room in front of her. She waited a few minutes until she got tired of watching him.
“I'm not mad about you and Megan, Nathaniel.”
Without looking at her, he said, “I made a huge mistake, Corliss. I knew that you would never be the right woman for me. But I was selfish, not wanting to give you up until I knew how Megan felt. 'Twas bad form.”
“Yes, it was, but don't beat yourself up about it. At least you admit it. I'm sure many guys would just try to brazen their way out of it.”
A Lesson in Presumption Page 20
