Returning Tides

by Radclyffe

  Allie lurched up straight in bed, clutching the sheet so tightly in her fists her fingers ached. Ash’s eyes had looked so empty when she’d stared at her and Flynn together in the clinic. God, Flynn. She couldn’t think about Flynn right now.

  Grabbing her phone from the nightstand, she punched in Ash’s number from memory. A few seconds later her call went to voicemail. Ash should be home by now. What if something had gone wrong? What if she was still at the clinic? Hurriedly, she dialed the clinic number. She took injured tourists and townspeople there so frequently, she knew the number by heart. Three rings. Four rings. The answering machine picked up.

  Tossing the covers aside, she vaulted from bed and dressed hurriedly in jeans and a cotton pullover sweater, not even bothering with underwear. She grabbed her keys and was in her car before she had time to talk sense to herself. Five minutes later, she pulled up in front of the Crown. A minute after that she knocked on Ash’s door.

  “Ash?” she called softly. “Ash, it’s Allie. Are you there? Ash?” She tried the knob. The door was locked. The room was dark. Maybe Ash was with a woman. The one from last night. Maybe she was inside, hurt. Maybe…

  The door opened and Ash stared out at her. She was barefoot in a white V-neck T-shirt and loose navy blue sweatpants. The only light came from a series of muted floods situated near the eaves of the buildings surrounding the courtyard, but even in the dim illumination, Allie could see the blank futility in Ash’s eyes. She looked hurt. She looked beaten.

  “I couldn’t sleep,” Allie whispered. “Damn you, Ash. I couldn’t sleep.”

  Ash opened the door wider. “Neither could I.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Allie followed Ash inside and stood in the dark wondering what to do next. After a few seconds, Ash turned on a table lamp in the sitting area. She looked at Allie questioningly, as if waiting for some explanation. Allie didn’t have one. Ash was pale, gaunt looking, as if she’d been ill for a long time. She stood awkwardly, clearly favoring her left hip. Allie could barely stand to see her hurting so much.

  “I don’t know why I’m here, exactly,” Allie said softly. “I guess…I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m okay,” Ash said hoarsely.

  “You look horrible.”

  Ash grinned lopsidedly. “Your pickup lines could use some polish.”

  “Bullshit,” Allie protested, smiling back. “My plays are legend.”

  “True.”

  Allie was grateful for the little bit of banter that defused some of the tension that filled the distance between them with a heaviness that made her ache inside. She’d been disappointed by women plenty of times in her life. She’d been crazy in love with Bri, and probably still was a little bit, somewhere deep inside. But Bri had been in love with Caroline, always and forever. She could have fallen for Deo—she’d been in a place where she’d wanted to fall for her, but that hadn’t worked out. And then another girl too, right after high school, who’d been special and who’d moved on. She hurt still, a little bit, for all of them and what might have been, but none of them had ever left with a piece of her heart. Ash had walked away with a huge chunk of it and maybe that was all this was about. Just trying to get back that piece of her heart that she needed to feel whole. Maybe she just had to sever whatever invisible connections still kept them tethered to one another, despite time and distance and hurt. But not now, not tonight.

  “Go back to bed, Ash. I shouldn’t have come over here in the middle of the night.”

  “I wasn’t sleeping,” Ash said. She’d been lying awake thinking about Allie. Half worried and half crazy. Worried that Allie might be more hurt than she appeared, and half crazy thinking about someone else taking care of her. No matter how many times she reminded herself that Allie didn’t need her anymore, she couldn’t stop the desire to see her, be near her, care for her.

  “Can I get you anything?” Allie asked gently. “Medicine or something?”

  Ash wiped the sweat that had suddenly surfaced on her forehead, even though the room was cool. “I took some aspirin. Earlier.”

  “Okay, fine.” Allie couldn’t stand by and watch Ash struggle to stay upright any longer. She shot across the room and put her arm around Ash’s waist. “Then you need to go to bed. Now.”

  Ash stiffened, her flesh burning beneath Allie’s fingers. The soft curve of Allie’s breast pressed against her side, and despite being sick at heart and battered physically, she was instantly aroused. She tried to pull away, but Allie held her more tightly.

  “You can’t be here, Allie,” Ash whispered.

  “I am here. Let me just help you and then I’ll go.”

  Ash relented because she wasn’t strong enough to resist. Because Allie smelled so good, felt so good. They walked into the adjoining bedroom together, and Ash slowly lowered herself into bed. Allie disappeared and Ash thought she was leaving. She waited to hear the sound of the door closing. Waited for the night to yawn long and empty before her. Then Allie reappeared with a fresh glass of water and set it beside her.

  “Did Tory give you any pills?”

  “A prescription,” Ash admitted. “But I didn’t fill it.”

  Allie jammed her hands on her hips. “Really, Ash. Do you have to be such a hardheaded ass all the time?”

  “Apparently.” Ash shrugged, but cut the motion short when her shoulder screamed in protest. “I don’t want to take that kind of medication. I know what’s wrong, and it’s not going to kill me. I look worse than I am.”

  “That’s really not saying very much.”

  Allie spun around and stomped into the bathroom. A few seconds later she came back and placed four aspirin next to the glass of water. “Two if you wake up tonight, and two in the morning. Okay?”

  “How are you feeling?”

  Allie took stock and to her surprise, felt better than she had all night. The stitches in her leg twinged every time she moved, and her hands burned from the many small cuts on her palms, but the horrible sick tension that had plagued her since the moment of the accident was gone. She knew Ash was going to be all right, and that’s what she’d needed to know all along. “I’m not the one who fell through the floor.”

  “Please don’t remind me.”

  “I’m sorry,” Allie said softly. “It was my fault.”

  “That’s not true.” Ash started to push herself up on her elbows, but groaned and fell back against the pillows.

  “Would you please relax?” Allie snapped.

  “Yes, all right, fine…but understand this. The situation could have just as easily been reversed. I could’ve put my foot down in the wrong place at any time this afternoon and you would have been the one falling ten feet into a hole. I shouldn’t have let you come with me. It was all my mistake.”

  “Look, Walker, I can take responsibility for myself. I insisted on coming along. I was there to do my job, just like you. I just…messed up.” Allie looked away, horrified to feel tears forming beneath her lashes. She blinked rapidly until she forced them back. “I let personal stuff get in the way of doing my job. I’m so sorry.”

  Ignoring her protesting body, Ash sat up, unwilling to appear like a victim when Allie was taking all the blame for her injury. “No one can just turn off the things that matter to them, even when they’re working. Everyone carries personal baggage around with them all the time.”

  Allie shook her head vigorously. “Reese doesn’t.”

  Ash rolled her eyes. “Oh, for Christ’s sake. None of us will ever be Reese Conlon.”

  “Yeah, true,” Allie said, laughing despite her misery. “Okay, bad example. But I should’ve done better.”

  “So next time you will. Next time I’ll keep a better eye on where you’re stepping too.”

  “Next time?”

  Ash dropped back on the pillows, unable to support herself any longer. She sighed. “I’ve still got a dozen major scenes to evaluate. Are you planning on letting me do it by myself?”

  “No,”
Allie said vehemently, secretly hoping Reese wasn’t going to pull her from the assignment. She wanted to see it through. She really liked the work. And she really liked working with Ash. Maybe they could even end up friends, someday.

  “So we’ll do better next time,” Ash said.

  “I guess we can work on it.” Allie saw that Ash was fading. Her eyelids flickered and her words had begun to slur. Allie wanted to stay. She just wanted to be there if Ash woke up. If she needed anything. If she hurt. She bit the inside of her lip and reminded herself of all the many reasons that was a really bad idea.

  “I’m going to go now,” Allie said softly. “Will you go to sleep?”

  “I’ll try.”

  “Not good enough, Walker. Promise.”

  “Promise,” Ash whispered.

  Allie reached to turn the light out and as she leaned over, made the mistake of looking into Ash’s eyes. The dark pupils were cavernous and her irises had turned smoky, the way they did when Ash craved her. Want surged in the pit of her stomach and she quickly extinguished the light before Ash could see it. She backed away, retreating by memory to the door.

  “Good night, Ash.” She let herself out quickly, not waiting for an answer.

  *

  “Tell me she’s asleep,” Tory said as Reese came into the bedroom, undressing as she walked.

  “The perks of a full stomach.” Reese grinned. “Down for the count.”

  Tory leaned back against the pillows with a sigh. “I’m really glad she’s home, and I’m really glad she’s asleep.”

  Nude, Reese pulled back the covers and slid under next to Tory. She turned on her side and propped her head on her elbow. Skating her fingers lightly up and down Tory’s arm, she said, “Tired?”

  “Darling,” Tory murmured, “the heart is willing but the body…”

  Reese laughed. “I wasn’t talking about that. I was actually talking about talking.”

  “Why? Is something wrong?” Tory rolled over to face her, draping one arm around Reese’s middle.

  “Nothing’s wrong at all. But we never finished talking about the baby thing this morning.”

  “Oh. That.”

  “Uh-huh.” Reese wasn’t exactly sure what she was going to say, but she couldn’t ignore something that she knew was important to Tory. “You took me by surprise. I kind of thought that we were done.”

  “I guess it did seem to come out of nowhere,” Tory said quietly. A lot had changed in the course of a day. Right now, the foremost thing on her mind was determining if Reese had any serious physical illness, and helping her through whatever residual remained from her recent trauma. Baby-making was suddenly low down on her list. “My timing was bad, and maybe that’s an omen. Let’s talk about it some other time, when life is less hectic.”

  “Our life is no more hectic now than it ever is.” Reese frowned. “What’s got you backpedaling?”

  “Nothing,” Tory said, knowing she was evading. She didn’t want to frighten Reese with her own fears.

  “You talked to Nita,” Reese said flatly. “I asked her not to discuss anything with you until I was with you.”

  “No…I mean, yes, we talked, but she didn’t go behind your back. She doesn’t have any of the results yet. We only talked in generalities.”

  Reese snorted and sat up in bed, her hands tightening on her thighs. “You’re a doctor, Tory. There is no such thing as generalities with you.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”

  “I don’t care about my privacy. This affects you as well as me. It’s just that…”

  “What?” Tory asked softly, curling closer and resting her hand in the center of Reese’s chest. “It’s just what, darling?”

  Reese covered Tory’s hand and ran her thumb slowly over Tory’s wrist. “I didn’t want you worrying.”

  “Sweetheart. I love you. I’m going to worry…a little…about anything that hurts or troubles you.”

  “What did Nita say?”

  “That’s just it,” Tory said. “Nothing. She has to wait until the tests come back.”

  “Something came up to make you decide it’s not the right time to get pregnant.”

  “I just want to deal with one thing at a time.”

  Reese knew she should be relieved that the subject was tabled temporarily, but she wasn’t. She didn’t want Tory to sacrifice anything in her life because of her, and she didn’t want to use an excuse not to be honest with her. She took Tory’s hand. “I need to tell you something.”

  “Okay.”

  “I don’t know if I want another baby.”

  “Okay,” Tory said slowly. “That’s really important information.”

  Reese sighed. “It’s not what you think. I’m crazy about Reggie. I think Reggie would probably like a sibling, but—”

  “That’s all right, darling. You don’t need to explain yourself. It’s enough—”

  “Tory.” Reese gently drew Tory into her arms. “Love. Listen. It’s not that I don’t like the idea. But last time, you almost died. I can’t…” Reese remembered the ambulance ride so clearly—the blood, the EMTs shouting Tory’s vital signs over the radio, Tory whispering for her to choose the baby, if a choice had to be made. She felt the ambulance careening around the curves, heard the wail of sirens, felt the earth tilt. Bombs burst, men screamed, and she was helpless, helpless…helpless to help them. She groaned softly.

  Tory felt Reese’s heart pound wildly beneath her cheek, so fast she couldn’t count the beats. Reese’s body shuddered lightly all over, as if an electric current were coursing beneath her skin. Tory didn’t doubt if she took her blood pressure right then it would be in the stratosphere. She sat up, her own heart racing, and took both of Reese’s hands in hers. “Reese. Reese, darling, look at me. I’m fine. You’re home with me, and we’re both fine.”

  “Sorry,” Reese said thickly. “I drifted there for a minute.”

  “I know.” Tory skimmed her fingers through Reese’s hair. “I know. It’s all right.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “You have nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all.” Tory pushed up higher on the bed and reversed their positions, drawing Reese’s head to her shoulder. She stroked her back, waiting for Reese’s breathing to quiet and her heart rate to steady. “All right now?”

  “Yes.” Reese closed her eyes. “You know, when Ash went down today, I was fine. Worried, but fine.”

  “Why don’t you try to get some sleep? We’ll talk about this tomorrow.”

  “You’re not going to pull the plug on me? Declare me unfit for duty?”

  “No, absolutely not.” Tory tightened her hold. Nita had said that she was Reese’s Achilles’ heel, and she thought Nita might be right. She wasn’t certain what she was going to do about that, but she wasn’t going to compound the problem by taking away something that meant so much to Reese. “You haven’t shown any evidence that your command abilities are compromised. And if you did, I know that you would put yourself behind a desk.”

  Reese relaxed. “I’ll work this out, Tory. I promise.”

  “Oh, sweetheart. I know.” Tory kissed her. “We’ll work it out together.”

  *

  The town was small enough, only three miles from one end to the other, that he could walk or take the bus for a dollar and complete his circuit in an hour. He enjoyed making the rounds, watching the lights go on and off in a downstairs living room, in an upstairs bedroom. It hadn’t taken him long, just a few days of observing, to discover who was important to her. Who her friends were. Now he visited them regularly.

  Since he’d arrived right after the storm had passed through, he’d come to realize that the residents were all focused on disaster relief and the law officers were spread thin and overworked. He’d gotten tired of breaking into empty houses, and rented a room in a bed and breakfast on a small quiet street north of Bradford. Clean sheets and breakfast in the morning. No one paid him any attention at all.

&
nbsp; So he was surprised when he realized that he was being followed. At first, he thought the man was just another man like him, walking aimlessly down empty streets after midnight. It wasn’t until he’d started walking toward her house that he sensed the man somewhere in the shadows, behind him. Then he began to wonder how long he’d been there. Long enough to see him watching her through the window? Long enough to suspect? Abruptly, he changed directions, skirting down a narrow gravel alley barely wide enough for a car. When he reached the most shadowed spot, he stepped off and pressed against the side of a wooden fence. He waited, listening to the silence.

  Then he heard the quiet, nearly inaudible crunch of careful footsteps on stone. The man was good. A professional. A cop, maybe? But his survival instincts were better. As the man drew nearer, his anger escalated. He would never again be the hunted. He was the hunter.

  So when the figure glided into view, he took down his prey with a single long slice of the blade.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “This is Conlon,” Reese said when her cell phone rang sometime in the middle of the night. She felt Tory come awake next to her and automatically put a hand on her shoulder to urge her back to sleep.

  “It’s Carter. We’ve got a homicide.”

  Reese got out of bed and headed toward the closet for a fresh uniform. “Where?”

  “An alley between Franklin and Creek—Clover.”

  “Who do you have on the scene?”

  “I assigned Smith and Chang to secure the scene. Bri’s canvassing witnesses. We’re starting to draw a little bit of a crowd.”

  “Suspects?”

  “Nothing yet.”

  “ETA five minutes.”

  “You’ll tell the coroner?”

  Reese glanced at the bed where Tory was now sitting up. “I’ll tell her.”