Heart of a Captive

by Hestand, Rita

  It was noisy inside the saloon. Smoke filled the air, beer, and whiskey mixed to a disgusting smell. It looked as though a bunch of drovers were there fresh off the trail.

  He eyed the bartender as he sauntered up to the bar.

  "A beer," He said knowing he would have to buy a drink to get information.

  The bartender eyed him quickly and smoothed his mustache.

  "Ever hear of a man name Bertram?"

  The bartender frowned and seemed to study Cale. "I heard of him. Used to be a regular."

  "Used to be?" Cale asked innocently.

  "Yeah, he left a few years back. Some gal came to town and they left on the stage right after. He didn't pay his bill here. Ran out on Tyros, his boss too. Good riddance I say. Do you know the weasel?"

  "Not personally, no. I know of him. Do you know where they were headed?"

  "I heard them talking when she came in to fetch him. They were going to San Antonio. She'd bought the tickets and handed them to him when she walked in."

  Cale started to leave but turned to the bartender and asked. "What did the girl look like?"

  "Fancy one, she was. Turned everyone's head when she walked in. Clothes alone must have cost a fortune. Pretty blonde. Prettiest gal I'd seen in a long time. And I've seen a few. Don't know what she was doing with a fella like that though."

  "What do you mean a fella like that?"

  "I mean he's no good. He ran out on a good job, ran out without paying his bills. And it looked to me like the fella was letting the girl pay for everything else."

  "Thanks…I appreciate it. And if I see him I'll tell him he owes you."

  "Thanks mister." The bartender nodded to him.

  "What's your name?"

  "Clem, Clem Belton."

  Cale tipped his hat and left.

  Cale rushed out to find Amelia shopping at the store. He wasn't sure he should mention the lady, but he didn't want to hold out on Amelia. When she saw him coming, she ran to meet him at the door.

  "Did you find out anything?"

  "Yeah…he was on his way to San Antonio."

  "So he went back there…"

  "He went with a lady…a pretty blonde haired lady."

  "My cousin, of course, that fits."

  "Does it?"

  Amelia looked down at the floor, but her mind was obviously working all the while.

  She looped her arm in Cale's as they walked out of the store. "Bertram came from Virginia with us. He hadn't finished law school yet. But he was sure he could continue as soon as he settled in San Antonio. We were all good friends. Judy was quite taken with him actually. As I remember she accused him of only wanting me for the money…my folks money that is."

  Cale wondered how good of friends they were. He also had some suspicions about them but he wasn't ready to accuse anyone. He might be getting ahead of himself. He'd wait until he knew more. He just didn't want a bunch of surprises, or shocks for Amelia to put up with.

  "Let's go get something to eat, I'm hungry, and we can figure out what to do from here." Cale encouraged.

  "Alright…"

  They found a café near the railroad station. Cale ordered them both a steak and as they waited they talked.

  "So I guess you were right. We need to head to San Antonio." Cale said, glancing about the place as he spoke.

  "It is odd that he would have a job as an accountant though. And in such a strange place. None of it makes much sense to me. What brought him here, I wonder."

  Cale had to clue her in on his suspicions. "How close were you to your cousins?"

  "Not as much as we should have been, I'm afraid. Why?"

  "Why would she be with him?"

  "Any number of reasons, I suppose. He always liked her, and she was very beautiful." Amelia shrugged. "Bertram enjoyed escorting pretty ladies about."

  "You never minded?"

  "No, like I said we were all friends."

  Then she began to piece his questions together. "Oh…you think her and him….oh well. It has been four years. They do probably think I'm dead… There's nothing wrong with that Cale."

  But Cale thought much more than that. He just couldn't bring himself to lay it out for her yet. He had to know more.

  "I don't want to see you hurt from all of this, Amelia." Cale told her.

  "Bertram was not the to sort to make a lot of friends. I'm sure he was very close to both of my cousins." Amelia defended.

  "Doesn't that bother you…"

  Amelia sighed then looked straight at Cale. "I changed a lot too, Cale. I'm not the same woman I was back then. If you could call me a woman back then. I can't expect everything to be the same."

  "Well, there's nothing that says they are more than friends…" Cale encouraged.

  But Amelia knew what he suspected and she would have time to get used to that idea as they hunted for Bertram.

  "I want you to know something. I have no expectations at all, Cale. None. I'm sure at some point he has gone on with his life. And if he chose my cousin, I can understand that, accept it." Amelia admitted. "I mean, it might be shocking to me at first, but I do understand."

  "Let's don't jump to too many conclusions yet." Cale told her, "The bartender said a lady came in on the stage, came into the saloon and they talked a while, then left and caught the stage together."

  "Perhaps they heard some news about me or something. Maybe that's why he was here in this town, looking for me or something at the time."

  "Perhaps." Cale firmed his lips.

  "But three years ago, I was still with the Comanche and we were up north at the time. The only reason we came back south was to find the Huaco village and that was two years later."

  "Did they travel a lot?" Cale asked.

  "Yes, I learned to help take down the Tipis, they were made with buffalo hides and poles, lots of polls, but once you learned to do it, it was relatively a fast thing to get them down." Amelia informed him. "One thing I found unusual about them, they didn't make pottery because they were always moving about. They knew that if they moved they would be broke. Instead they used baskets and leather made bowls and things."

  "You learned a lot from them, didn't you?"

  "I guess I did. Although when I was with them, I was always trying to figure a way to get away. They would always catch me."

  "Is that why they beat you so."

  "They beat me when I first came to their camp, the women beat me, walked on me, slapped me, knocked me down. But when I tried to escape, they hurt me bad."

  Cale hung his head. No woman should have to endure such agony.

  "You know from what I've gathered about Bertram, he might very well have had scouts out looking for you. Traders that often find and return captives for money." Cale told her. "So maybe he was looking for you, all that time."

  "I never thought of that. But Bertram had very little money when he came with us. My parents basically supported us all. He was going to school until we left Virginia. He had no money. Where would he get money to pay them?"

  "Good question. Unless that's why he was working here. He might have found someone to do the looking and went to work to pay them." Cale muttered as their steaks were placed in front of them.

  "This looks great." Amelia smiled. "I'm glad you ordered them, I am very hungry I know what you're thinking Cale, and it doesn't upset me. Look at it this way, it's been four years…that's a long time to be engaged to a girl that has been missing all that time."

  "This is a good time to use all your manners, Amelia." Cale pointed out, changing the subject. He pointed to the napkin.

  She tensed for a moment, but she saw the light in Cale's eyes and smiled. "You are right."

  "Enjoy it, it might be the last good meal we have for a while."

  "Oh I don't know. I like rabbit a lot too." She smiled at him.

  He looked at her, her smile was contagious.

  "I watched you dress that rabbit out, and I never saw anyone do it so fast."

  "I had lots o
f practice…"

  "I guess you did."

  Chapter Thirteen

  The first night they camped out along a creek and as usual, Cale went hunting. He came back rather quickly with a sage hen and Amelia had it defeathered and ready to cook within a few minutes. Cale watched her and for the first time realized that Amelia was not going to fit into the world in which he was taking her. All this time he had been thinking he was taking her to her family, where she belonged, but that was no longer the case. Her heart and her soul were Indian and nothing was going to change that. But, he also knew that she deserved the chance to see that for herself.

  "Are you religious Cale?" Amelia asked him as they munched on the hen.

  The question took him by surprise. "I used to read the bible every night before I went to bed. At least I used to. I consider myself a Christian, if that's what you mean. I don't attend a church every Sunday but I've gone. Most people are paired up at church and going alone felt funny. Hodge wouldn't go with me. Said he had enough of that at the mission school. Are you?"

  "Yes, it's one of the things that kept me sane while living with the Comanche. Although for a while, I denounced God, and refused to believe he was looking after me."

  Cale studied her a moment.

  "They took my clothes and shoes, when they captured me; I figured it was to keep me from running away. I was beaten regularly, with the leather whip. They stepped on me, cut me sometimes and left me barefoot most of the time. At first, they laughed at me when I tried to do the tasks they set before me. I had never done such things before. It took me a while to learn. It was their constant laughing and torturing me that made me strong enough to learn to do the things I had to do. Naturally, I prayed every day for a release but that never came. Then I came to realize that my capture was to teach me to be a better person. To humble me. Because I know now, I did begin to change. I'm not sure exactly when, but I felt it. I was no longer a lady of leisure, but a woman of desperation. Can you understand that?"

  "It makes sense to me."

  "I prayed my feet would heal, I was such a tenderfoot. I tried to wash them every night, to keep infections away, but sometimes there was little water. I tried to bind them with the hem of my dress, but they'd rip the bandages off. They bled for weeks. My feet were very tender for nearly a year. I prayed my back would heal without scars but that didn't happen. Cale…how can anyone accept me like I am now…?" She cried. "I know Bertram is a refined gentleman, he'd have to have been. I cannot imagine him accepting me like I am."

  Cale swallowed hard. "Does he love you Amelia?"

  She stared at him for a moment, as though considering the question. "I'm not sure."

  "Surely you remember something of your relationship with him?"

  "I don't remember his kisses, or his words. I can't remember what color eyes he had…doesn't that speak poorly of me?"

  "Then I guess that's a question you need to ask. Love isn't about how you look, although I'd say that you are a beautiful woman, but if he only loves the outside package, then you could have a problem. If he truly loves you, there will be no problem. I mean nothing that can't be handled."

  "I guess that's the whole thing. I don't know how he feels, especially now. I don't know if he'll believe all I have to tell him either. I don't know if he could possibly understand my telling him that I came to love the Huaco Indians. There are so many things I don't know." Amelia's expression was one Cale understood.

  "Have you ever been in love Cale?" She asked.

  He smiled and then looked at her. "Not with a woman, no. I'm in love with the land that I tend every day. I'm in love with the country I live in, I'm in love with Texas. I love my animals. However,…I've never been in love with a woman before. Not that I haven't eyed a few. Trouble was, they didn't eye me back."

  "Well I don't know how I feel about Bertram either. I have no clue. Since I can barely recall what he looks like or acts like. It's hard to say I love him. And if he can't come to accept me, for the way I am, then…no…I won't love him. I've done all the changing I’m going to do. I won't live my life to please someone else; it's too precious to me. I survived those four years and I am not sorry of it."

  "Now that's the spirit. I'm kind of glad you said that, because it is the first spark of spunk I've seen in you since we left the village. Not that I'm against you being married, I'm not. But just because you've been mistreated for years, does not mean you have to continue to be. I think you are right about that. You've been through enough and I don't blame you for not wanting to have to change again."

  "Thank you for saying that. I wasn't sure I wasn't being fair, but although I sometimes don't trust my own judgement, I do trust yours." She glanced at him and saw the expression of surprise.

  "Thanks…But he'll have changed too Amelia. And you being gone so long, you might not even see it."

  "Of course, you are right. There's no use worrying about all that until I see him again, is there?"

  "Do you remember anything about him?" Cale asked

  She frowned, trying to recall..

  "He was an excellent chess player. He'd sit with my father and play for hours." Amelia recalled. It was strange that she thought of that other than their relationship together, but at least it was something.

  "And what did you do while he played?"

  "I sat and watched."

  "Did you talk much during those games?"

  "No, why?"

  "Just wondered. I recall a man in the General store one winter he played with Mr. Summers every winter, and they hardly said a word to each other all during the games." Cale laughed.

  "That's because it takes a certain amount of thinking to play it correctly. And I often wondered what went through their heads that would entrance them so to the game." Amelia laughed.

  Cale looked surprised again.

  "What's wrong?" She asked.

  "You laughed again. This trip must be good for you." He remarked. "It sounded nice."

  "I guess it is. Or maybe it's the company I'm keeping."

  "I think you are beginning to relax and a lot more of your real self is coming out now. That's a good sign. I think you are going to adjust to all this just fine."

  "I've been three years with the Comanche, I've learned that adjusting and changing are part of my life. It worries me a bit that Bertram took an accounting job in a small town like that, that he moved about so much…I wonder if there is a reason for that."

  "But it doesn't bother you that he's with your cousin?" Cale twisted about to look straight at her.

  Amelia flushed a bit. "I guess I hadn't considered it that way. My feelings have changed, so why shouldn't his?"

  Cale shook his head. "Maybe I'm jumping to conclusions. I don't know either of them. Perhaps they've been searching for you all along, in their own way."

  "We could maybe it to death Cale."

  "Your right, of course."

  "I don't know if I've thanked you for all you've done for me. It's more than most would do. Your taking time away from your farm and all. You must have a life of your own. Although you are pretty quiet about it." She said putting her blanket down on the other side of the fire. It had become routine now.

  "The crops are picked. The lands plowed under. Winter is coming on. We have to get this settled before winter sets in hard. It would be near impossible to take care of this then. At least the temperature is trying to cool itself now, and I've got a little spare time on my hands." He explained.

  "Why do you live alone? Why don't you seek out a lady for your own? Surely you get lonely." She asked softly. "In all the women you've known. Isn't there someone special?"

  Cale sighed, giving her question time to sink in.

  "Never had an itch that bad for one. I mean, yeah, it would be nice to have someone waiting for me to come in every night and kids running around the house, but…courting takes time and patience. I don't have much of either. And like I said before, the kind of women I've sought are obviously the wrong ones
."

  "I'm sorry I didn't mean to offend you about that. You’re a very nice man Cale. A girl would be a fool not to see that." She said softly and yawned.

  He shrugged and glanced through the fire to look at her. "In a small town, most of the girls are spoken for by the time they reach my age. The ones that aren't are too young or too old. I became a farmer at a young age. Took to it real easy like. I enjoy my work. Not that I don't get lonely every now and then. Hodge can be pretty quiet at times. But I know I'll probably be more so now that Hodge has a woman. I do envy them. I've never seen him that happy."

  "You could have that too…" She said softly, her eyes closed as though she were asleep.

  "It's not something that just comes along, I don't figure. Most men find that sort of thing when they are real young and latch on. But the girls I knew wanted to get away from the farm and live in the big city. I couldn't live like that. I like my life. But finding a woman that would like it, isn't an easy task." He said staring up into the stars. "It's a lot of hard work, back breaking work sometimes. Even if you do everything right, there is no guarantee that the crops will come in right. Lots of heartaches go with it."

  "I grew fond of farming with the Huaco's." She said almost in a dreamlike state. "And I learned a lot of things I bet you don't know."

  "You?"

  "Yes, once I began to realize that breaking a fingernail wasn't the end of the world, or getting a sunburn wouldn't kill me. I began to like it. Smelling the good clean earth and watching something grow from practically nothing. It was exciting. I'd never done anything productive in my life. Unless you call playing a piano work. I loved that. The one thing I've really missed since I came out here."

  "You play the piano?" He asked softly.

  "Yes, very well, in fact." She smiled, her eyes still closed.

  "I'd love to hear that…" Cale whispered.

  "You would?" her eyes opened and she looked over at him now.

  "Music makes me feel, and think. I love music."

  She propped herself on her elbow to stare at him. "I'd have never guessed you liked it so much."