Sweet Seduction

by Anthology

  "You're right. We should get going. You ready?"

  Sexual tension was a fist curled in her stomach, but she nodded and found her coat. He was chatty in the car, talking about music and movies and his upcoming job. Maura kept up her end of the conversation, but it there was an almost manic undertone to everything he said that concerned her. He kept it up in the restaurant, too, ordering them both a bottle of wine without asking her what she wanted, then looking faintly surprised at himself.

  "Sorry. I should've asked."

  "It's ok. I'll try it." She didn't usually care for red wine, but she could try it. Maura reached across the table to cover his hand with hers. "Hey. You okay?"

  Daniel put his on top and turned the one beneath upward so he was grasping hers. "Yeah. Just thinking how close this is to being over."

  She curled her fingers into his for a squeeze. "Hey. None of that. We'll keep in touch...."

  His laugh was caustic. "Uh huh. I've heard that before."

  "That's not how I meant it." Gently, she extricated her hand. "I just meant that it's not like we're going to...break up. I mean, you'll go off to your new assignment the way you'd planned, and you'll email me or check in on Connex. Or something. Won't you?"

  For a moment, alarmed, she was sure he was going to say no. Then he shook his head. "I won't have much internet access. Very little cell service. I'll be able to send you old-fashioned letters."

  "That could be fun." She smiled at him, leaning back as the waiter brought the wine and poured it. "Letter writing is a lost art."

  "It won't be the same."

  "No. I guess it won't." She didn't lose her smile, but it faltered a bit. She drank some wine, though the flavor wrinkled her nose.

  Daniel drank too. "I guess we should just enjoy the time we have left, huh?"

  "Yes. Of course. Always." She lifted her glass and clinked it to his. "To good friends."

  "To friends." He gave her a steady look. "Actually, Maura, I was hoping to talk to you about something tonight..."

  She flashed back to high school, standing by her locker, waiting for Shelly to be done in the guidance office. Stan Slever tapping her on the shoulder, staring at her with those huge eyes behind the thick glasses, his perpetually wet mouth open as he started to ask her to the prom. He'd opened with that same phrase. Maura, I was hoping to talk to you about something...Whatever he wanted to ask her, it was bigger than the prom, and all she could do was sit there and listen with the same slack expression she was sure she'd had the day with Stan.

  "I was hoping, maybe...you'd consider taking this a little further." Daniel looked nervous, then drank some wine, sloshing it. He swallowed hard but gave her a hard smile.

  "Further?" How much further could they go? Oh, God, he wasn't asking her to move with him, was he? To Malaysia?

  He must've seen her confusion and dismay, because he coughed into his hand. "Maybe further isn't the right word. Um...I mean, I was hoping maybe you'd consider taking this relationship a little...beyond friends."

  She chewed the inside of her cheek at that. "I thought we were beyond friends. I mean, I don't sleep with my friends. I don't kiss or fool around with my friends."

  "Shit. I'm making this a mess."

  "A little," she said. "But it's okay."

  "I like you. I'm comfortable with you. We get along great. We have a history together." Daniel paused.

  Maura breathed out, unsure of how she felt about this. "Yes. All of that. I like you, too, Daniel."

  "So maybe we could consider ourselves dating?"

  Again, she was confused. "What have we been doing all this time, if not dating?"

  "Oh. I thought we were just hanging out."

  She thought about drinking more wine, but hadn't liked the first sip and was pretty sure she wouldn't like the next. Something in this conversation wasn't sitting right with her, though she couldn't have said exactly what it was. "Hanging...out."

  "Well. Yeah. I mean, with all the talk about me leaving and it not lasting. And Ian," Daniel added.

  Maura frowned. "But now you...what? Want to make me your girlfriend?"

  "Yes." Daniel straightened. Squared his shoulders.

  "A week before you go to the other side of the world?" Maura sat back in her chair, hands in her lap, bunching her napkin. "You want something permanent, with a name, now?"

  "I wasn't thinking of it like that, but...yes. I would like you to be my girlfriend. For real. Official and all that." He gave her a hesitant grin. "Feels weird, huh?"

  "I wasn't ever your girlfriend, really, even way back in the olden days. Yes. It feels weird." More than that. It felt like doublethink. Wrong and right at the same time, and she could easily believe both.

  "Will you think about it?"

  She nodded after a moment's hesitation, not ready to contemplate all the complications of it but unwilling to turn him down outright. "I'll think about it. I'm not sure how it will work, but sure. I'll think about it."

  He reached for her hand again. Palm to palm -- the kiss of holy fools, she thought, butchering Shakespeare. She couldn't pull away, though she didn't want Daniel to feel the shaking of her fingers and misinterpret it.

  "Good," he said. "That's all I ask. That you think about it."

  And after that, the conversation turned to other topics. A little strained, but not too bad. Maura tried not to think too much about what he'd asked her, even though she'd promised. She concentrated on her dinner, which she now found she could barely eat.

  Girlfriend. Daniel's girlfriend. What was there to fear about that, other than the distance? Other than the physical issues, which she was ashamed to admit hadn't bothered her as much when she thought he'd be leaving in a couple months but now, faced with the possibility of trying to make a romantic long-distance and also chaste relationship out of what she'd thought had been a lovely, if unconventional friendship...

  "Dessert?"

  Startled out of her thoughts, Maura looked up at the waiter. "Oh. No. I don't think so. I'm stuffed."

  "Would you like a box for that?" The waiter asked, making her sound like a liar because it was clear she'd barely eaten more than a few bites of her dinner.

  She declined the box. And, quiet for the rest of the meal, thinking hard about what she wanted not only from Daniel, but also from life, Maura forced herself to focus on not only him, but everything around them. There were couples holding hands across the table and those who were clearly at odds, avoiding eye contact. There were girlfriends giggling over the hot waiter and, far in the back, a bunch of men being rowdy. Bachelor party, maybe. Relationships all around her. Some that worked, some that didn't.

  "You okay?" Daniel asked her after he'd paid the check and helped her on with her coat. "You're very quiet."

  She gave him a smile. "Fine. Just thinking."

  "Ah." He didn't ask again.

  She appreciated that. Paid attention to his consideration. She paid attention to the way he held the door for her, offered to pay for the movie, asked her if she wanted butter on her popcorn. It wasn't the money, but the way he was trying to make this night fun for her. It was how he looked at her, too, with a smile that reached his eyes. It was also the way he didn't look at her.

  The movie was something full of explosions and aliens, with some kissing at the end. He held her hand through the whole thing, their fingers linked and resting on his thigh. And it was nice. More than nice. It was lovely, she thought when the credits rolled and the lights came up, and blinking, he turned to her and said, "What's next?"

  "I have an idea," Maura said.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Getting a tattoo is never something you should do on a whim, but Maura had been thinking about it for a long time. The place she'd gone to get her octopus had closed some time ago, but the girl who'd done her work had sent out postcards announcing that she was working at a new place. It was open, and it took walk-ins, and it was right around the corner from the movie theater.

  "You don't mind?" Maur
a asked Daniel.

  He looked up from the binder of photographs he'd been flipping through. "No. Of course not. I can go back with you and watch, right?"

  "Yep." She leaned over his shoulder to point out a particularly stunning pin-up girl on some anonymous calf. "You sure you don't want something like that?"

  He laughed. "Um, no. Maybe another time."

  "Ha." Maura studied the different licenses on the walls. The framed dollar bill. She liked the poster that said "No, it didn't hurt. My tattoo was licked on by a couple of kittens."

  In another minute, Gretel, the tattoo artist, was calling her back. Maura got settled in the barber chair and held out her right wrist. It was going to be something very simple. One word.

  Enough.

  Daniel hadn't asked her what she was getting, or why, but Gretel did. She wet the stencil and pressed it to the inside of Maura's wrist. "Take a look at that. Why 'enough'?"

  Maura didn't look at Daniel, who'd taken a seat on the stool beside her. "It's a reminder."

  "Cool." Gretel didn't press for more information. She settled herself on her stool and held up the gun. "Ready?"

  "Yes."

  "It won't take very long," she promised, and Maura knew that was true.

  It would take long enough.

  The sweet sting began, and something like a moan slipped out of her. Gretel laughed softly. Maura wasn't embarrassed. She was sure Gretel had heard everything from screams to whimpers. A semi-sex noise couldn't possibly faze her.

  Maura glanced at Daniel, though, and his eyes were gleaming. He leaned forward, looking from his wrist to her face. "It hurts, huh?"

  "The skin's thin here." Gretel sat up for a second to wipe away some of the excess ink. "The top of the feet hurts worse."

  "It hurts," Maura said. "Enough."

  Daniel met her gaze and gave a small nod, like he understood. Maybe he did. But after that, Maura closed her eyes and let the pain warm her.

  It didn't take long for Gretel to finish, since it was that single word in a plain script, done in black. "Check it out."

  Maura looked at it. As always, it was trippy knowing that she had marked herself permanently, that she would never again be able to look at that spot without seeing this new piece of her. And, like the other times she'd had work done, the euphoria left her a little woozy. She stood, reaching for Daniel to steady her.

  "I want one," he said.

  Gretel looked up at him. "Yeah? Right now? I have time, depending on what you want to do."

  Daniel looked thoughtful. "You know the infinity symbol?"

  "Sure."

  Maura knew it, too. "Where do you want it?"

  He tapped the spot over his chest thoughtfully. "Here?"

  "That would be cool." Gretel nodded, and Maura wondered if everything seemed cool, or if she'd ever given someone advice against a design or location.

  Twenty minutes later, Daniel stared in the mirror at the new addition to his formerly flawless skin. He turned a little to the left and right. Then he nodded a little at his own reflection.

  "You like it?" Maura asked in the car.

  "It's too late now if I don't, isn't it?"

  She wanted to ask him why the infinity symbol, but something stopped her. He hadn't asked her about hers. Maybe that would come later, or maybe they'd never ask each other.

  "It does hurt," Daniel said and tapped himself just above the tattoo. "More than I expected."

  Maura flexed her wrist, feeling the ache there. "Yes. Sometimes it does."

  ***

  Daniel was good looking. Generous. Kind hearted. He was handy, too. He built a fire in her fireplace without any effort at all and looked at her over his shoulder, his face lit by a grin that could make a woman fall in love.

  If she could.

  Maura had put on some music, something light and chosen at random from the online radio station she'd programmed to play. She had a bottle of wine. It was cold outside and warm in. She had a handsome man who wanted to try to make something work with her, and this was her chance to figure out if she wanted that, too.

  "Dance with me," she said impulsively as he stood, brushing off his hands. She held out hers, and he took them.

  Daniel looked down at her with a faint smile. "Yeah?"

  "Yep." She snuggled close to him, her head on his chest. The sound of his heart was comforting, and so was his warmth. The weight of his hand on the small of her back was so familiar, though, so full of memory and association with Ian that she could not quite relax into this embrace.

  Daniel didn't ask her to. He didn't say anything about being his girlfriend. All he did was dance with her. Slowly, slowly, their feet shuffling on the rough shag of her carpet. The songs blended, one to the other, and still they danced.

  Sometimes there was so much to think about that it was better to think of nothing at all. Maura looked up at him, studying his face, remembering how it had looked so many years ago. She'd fallen a little in love with him back then, in some way. Maybe...maybe she could, again.

  "If we're going to try this," Maura said, "we need to lay it all out, what it means. I'm not jumping into this randomly. I want to put the expectations on the table. Negotiations. I want everything to be upfront and totally clear between us. No surprises."

  He nodded, solemn. "Okay."

  "Does that sound too business-like?" She chewed the inside of her cheek for a second.

  "It's not very romantic, that's for sure."

  "Sorry."

  He laughed and pulled her close again. "It's okay. I want you to know what you're getting into. I mean, I think that's good for both of us."

  "This is definitely the weirdest way I've ever started a relationship," she said, then added, "though on second thought, it's already been started, I guess. And that wasn't weird. Just this part is weird."

  Then they both started laughing again, until he cut it off with a kiss that got deeper and deeper until she had to break away for a breath. He tasted good. He smelled good. He felt good against her.

  It wasn't love, not even close. But it was something, wasn't it? And maybe that would also be enough.

  Chapter Sixteen

  There's a certain comfort in being with someone you can be in your PJ's with. Face scrubbed, hair in a bun on top of my head to keep it from getting tangled while I sleep, I get into bed beside Daniel in my favorite flannel jammies. They're not sexy, but they are warm.

  He's propped up on the pillows, reading something on his phone. I lean to kiss his bare shoulder before tucking myself into my own pillows. I'm tired, a little tipsy from the wine and this new decision to make what we had something more official. I'm thinking of nothing but sleep when he turns out the light and rolls over to spoon me. I mean...there's nothing more to expect, really. I already know there won't be any sex.

  Except he kisses the back of my neck, his breath hot. His hand moves up to cup my breast. Thumb my nipple erect. I don't mean to react so quickly, but I guess I'm wired for touch. Should I feel bad about this? Because I don't.

  My hand goes behind his neck as I turn my face for his kiss. I roll to face him, my knee nudging between his thighs. I press myself against him. Mouths open. Tongues stroke. We kiss for long minutes. When he slides a hand between us, I gasp a little.

  "You like that." It's not a question.

  "Yes," I say.

  "Good." He rubs gently on the outside of the flannel.

  I want him to push his hands inside. Touch my bare skin beneath. But that's selfish of me; even if he has already on a few occasions made me come without any hope of reciprocity, that doesn't mean I should take advantage of it. Still, I shudder a little at the pressure of his fingers on my clit through the soft fabric.

  "Too many clothes," he murmurs. "Take these off."

  I hesitate. "Are you sure?"

  Even if he seems to have at least mostly accepted his inability to get an erection, I don't want to pressure him. I don't want to be unfair, or teasing. But Daniel nods and giv
es me a grin I can see in the light from the window outside. He tugs at the waistband of my pajamas.

  "Off."

  Together, we work me free of the confines of my pajamas. Naked, I lay on my back and put my hands over my head to grip the spindles of my headboard as he moves his hand over my body. Daniel covers me with caresses. Hands, followed by mouth. He draws a line of kisses along my collarbones, over my breasts until he takes my nipple in his mouth and tugs gently at it.

  "Oh, yes." It feels so good. I arch into the touch. He sucks a little harder. Then to the next one while his fingers keep up the delicious pressure on the first, still wet from his mouth.

  His breathing becomes ragged as he moves back and forth between them. He pushes my breasts together so he can get his mouth on both more easily. Lying between my legs, he pushes his belly against my cunt and I rock my hips upward without a second thought. My clit on his bare skin makes me want to moan, but my breath is so caught in my throat all I can do is let out a long, shuddering sigh.

  "So fucking sexy," he says against my skin.

  Daniel's mouth moves lower. Over my ribs. Along the inside of my arm. He pauses at my elbow to mouth me there; it tickles and I squirm. A little lower. He holds my hand, turning my wrist upward so he can see the word inked there.

  "Enough," he whispers, but doesn't kiss my still-wounded flesh.

  "Yes." I sit up, and so does he. I touch the skin close to his new tattoo. "I chose enough. You chose forever."

  "Could mean the same thing," Daniel says.

  I don't think so, but I don't say it. I find his mouth with mine and let the kiss speak, instead. My body will tell him what I can't convince my words to say.

  He pushes me back against the pillows again. Kneeling in front of me, he pushes his pants over his hips, his thighs, then off. I don't want to stare, so I keep my eyes on his face. Daniel covers me with his body as we kiss.

  He moves down it again, marking every spot with his mouth and hands. The residue of pain euphoria from the tattoo faded hours ago, replaced by a less pleasant stinging ache, but his kisses ease that to the back of my mind. I let myself relax into the caresses.