Forever His Baby

by Airicka Phoenix

She moistened her lips. “I need…”

  His gaze flickered to her mouth before returning safely to her eyes, several shades darker. “What, Lily?”

  She sucked in a breath, held it for two whole heartbeats, then released it slowly. Focus! This was not the time to dwell on how completely alone they were and how he could easily push aside her skirt and take her right there on the front steps. That, after all, was the very thing that had gotten her in trouble in the first place.

  “I need to talk to Cole,” she whispered at last.

  His eyes narrowed into slits of confusion. “You have his number.”

  Lily nodded. “Yes, but I need to see him. It … it’s an emergency.”

  Maybe that was a little extreme, but it certainly felt like an emergency. It felt like if she didn’t get it off her chest quickly, she never would and she would suffocate under all the weight crushing her.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Sloan, please—”

  “What’s wrong, Lily?” he demanded, leaving no room for objection.

  Lily broke. A tear spilled down her cheek. Then another. Soon they were raining from her chin in a steady trickle and the truth was bursting out of her like someone had opened a can of snakes.

  “I don’t know how it happened,” she blurted. “I was sick, like horribly sick for a while so I went to Dr. Phillips and he … I had no idea! I never meant for it to happen. I am so sorry!”

  “Lily!” He made to reach for her. The tips of his fingers grazed her shoulders before he jerked them back, balled them into fists and let them drop. “What happened?”

  She bit her lip as though that could somehow stifle the next words itching at the back of her throat. It didn’t work.

  “I’m pregnant.” Her heart rocketed hard and fast against her chest. More tears spilled as fear and something else, something cold and painful ripped through her insides. It took her a moment to pinpoint the right word: guilt, like she had somehow betrayed him and that was ridiculous. “I need to see Cole. Please, Sloan. You know I wouldn’t ask, but I can’t tell him this over the phone and I need to tell him, because he’s my best friend and because … because it’s his.”

  The look of utter shock would have been comical if the situation had been something else entirely. But it was doing nothing to calm her down, if anything, it only fueled the urgency coursing through her. Thankfully, it lasted for only a second before his expression became furious.

  “What the hell do you mean it’s his?”

  Lily tried not to frown at the question. “I mean we—”

  “No!” he snapped, startling her. “I don’t want to hear this. I don’t want to know how you … with my brother!”

  The accusation in his remark made her flinch.

  “I didn’t know who else to go to.” She scrubbed furiously at the tears drying on her cheeks with an angry fist. “You’re the only one I trust, aside from Cole.”

  There was a full second where she was certain he was about to turn her away, tell her to find someone else, that he was too busy for this bullshit. But he seemed to suck in all the air around him at once, straighten to his full six foot four and give a nod.

  “Let me wash up.” He dug into his pocket and fished out the keys to his Mustang. He pushed them into her hand. “Wait for me in the car.”

  Crippled with relief, Lily broke into a fresh wave of tears. “Thank you!”

  He searched her face like there was more he wanted to say, but he thought better of it, gave another nod and stepped around her. Lily didn’t move until the screen door banged shut behind him.

  Keys clutched in her trembling fingers, she hurried around the side of the house to where Sloan’s baby sat, tucked away from the sun beneath a makeshift carport made entirely of tarps and plywood. The black paint gleamed in the shadows. She distantly remembered sitting with Cole, watching as Sloan put the thing together from the ground up. Once in a while he’d make Cole run and grab him some tool from the garage and she would be left free to trace the hard lines of Sloan’s arms while he worked, loving how the muscles bulged and the tendons flexed beneath all that golden skin. His hair had been longer then and he’d keep it swept back with a bandana. She would always feel a flutter in her chest when he would tear it free and rake the light strands with his fingers.

  It all felt so foolish now, a stupid girlish crush, but she had secretly been in love with Sloan McClain from the moment she knew what the tingling of her body meant whenever he was around. It was her sensibility that kept her from doing anything really stupid, like throw herself at him, reminding her that he was five years older than her, her best friend’s brother, and he couldn’t stand the sight of her.

  “You could have gotten in.”

  Sloan rounded the house and made his way towards her. He had changed into fresh jeans and a black t-shirt under a dark, zip up hoodie. His strides were long and purposeful as he stalked towards her.

  Lily looked down at the keys in her hands. “You don’t like people touching your car.”

  Something like the ghost of a smile fluttered across his face before it was gone and he was motioning for her to toss him the keys. She did and he caught them with the flick of his wrist. He came around to her side first and opened her door.

  “What?” he said when she blinked in surprise.

  Blushing, she shook her head and climbed into the warm leather. “I didn’t think men opened doors for women anymore.”

  “Men do.”

  He shut the door behind her.

  She watched as he rounded the hood and got into the driver’s side. A ripple of heat rushed through her at how close they were, which was ridiculous considering her situation. It wasn’t like they were going on a romantic drive to Lover’s Lane.

  “Does Cole know you’re coming?” he asked as they cut through town.

  Lily shook her head. “I came straight from the doctor’s office.”

  His fingers, still stained, but clean, drummed on the wheel. “So you’re sure.” It wasn’t a question.

  “About—”

  “Yes,” he cut in before she could voice the reason they were in the car, headed almost six hours out of town.

  She nodded. “Dr. Phillips did the test five times.”

  “How long?”

  Lily shifted in her seat. “Two months roughly. He guesses the baby will be born in April.”

  “April,” he mumbled. “Jesus. That’s not a lot of time.”

  Despite herself, Lily chuckled. “That’s nine months. So you believe me?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?” He rubbed a hand over his face. “So you’ve decided to keep it?”

  “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.”

  He nodded slowly. “Have you told your parents?”

  “No.” She bit her lip and looked down at her hands knotted tight in her lap. “I don’t know what to tell them. I don’t know what to tell Cole. I just … I don’t want to be alone when I face them.” She stole a glance at him. “Does that make me a coward?”

  He shook his head. “I didn’t realize you and Cole were … together, like that.”

  She could see how he would get that assumption, but it couldn’t be further from the truth.

  “We’re not,” she said. “At least not like that.” She took a deep breath, taking the moment to get the words out properly. “Back in seventh grade, we made a pact that if we were both single by the time we graduated high school and still virgins, we would be each other’s firsts. Cole didn’t want to come off awkward and clumsy when he finally found someone and I … I was curious.”

  “High school ended a year ago,” he mumbled.

  Lily felt the warm creep of heat crawl up the column of her throat to fill her face. She kept her gaze away from the figure next to her. “Yes…” she murmured quietly. “But Cole took last year off, remember?”

  Sloan nodded.

  “We didn’t talk about it again until he applied for universit
y this year and things didn’t work out with Stacey…”

  “So why couldn’t he just find a girl the normal way?”

  Lily shrugged. “He could. He and Stacey were really close a few times, but he didn’t want to start his first adult steps into the world as an inexperienced virgin.”

  “And you didn’t think to use protection?”

  Lily gasped. “Of course we used protection!” she snapped. “We’re not stupid.”

  He cast her a sidelong glance that came equipped with an arched brow.

  “We used protection,” she told him hotly. “Cole stole a condom from the stash you had in your drawer.”

  Sloan’s face bunched in confusion. “In my drawer? I haven’t had condoms around the house in seven years.” He caught her staring at him and his complexion darkened slightly. “I was raising a teenager. I was trying to set a good example. Whatever box you guys found was probably expired.” A look of irritation passed over his face. “What was he doing going through my drawers anyway? He’s nineteen. Why didn’t he go buy a box like a normal person?”

  Lily shrugged. “I guess he figured he only needed one.”

  “Just one?”

  The surprise and slight disgust in his voice further darkened her cheeks. “We just wanted to get it over with. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything.”

  Sloan exhaled. He didn’t say anything though and Lily let the roar of engine and grind of packed dirt beneath the wheels fill the silence around them, which was probably a good thing when the nausea returned. The unsteady rocking of the car didn’t help every time they hit a pothole, nor did the roll of scenery outside the windows. A low whine worked up her throat and she bit it back, afraid the vomit would come up right alongside the sound.

  The morning sickness was the first to hit. It had been the first sign that something wasn’t right. But in no way, not in her wildest dreams had she ever considered pregnancy as a possibility behind the discomfort. The fact that she had only had sex the once and it had been protected, Lily had gone to the doctor fully confident it was no more than a bug. An hour later, her entire life had been turned upside down.

  “All right?”

  “Yeah.” Breathing slowly through her nose, Lily rolled her head in his direction. She rubbed her queasy stomach absently. “The nausea goes away after a minute. I usually only get them in the morning.”

  “Do you want me to pull over?”

  She chuckled. “I won’t hurl in your car, I promise.”

  Sloan shot her a scowl. “That isn’t my concern.” His gaze swept over the road. “There’s a gas station coming up.”

  She wasn’t sure what he needed at the gas station—the gas needle read full—but he was already pulling in. She watched as he climbed out and disappeared inside. Lily took that moment to get her nerves back in order. Most of the motion sickness had subsided the minute they’d stopped, but she continued to work careful breaths through her nostrils. A moment later Sloan returned with a bag in hand. He passed it to her as he climbed back into the car.

  “What’s this?” she asked, prying the top open.

  There were two plastic tubes, one of water and the other with orange juice. There was also an apple, several different kinds of granola, a bag of peanuts, a banana and a chocolate bar.

  “I wasn’t sure what you were in the mood for,” he said as he put the car into drive. “But you should maybe drink some water.”

  Lily couldn’t help laughing. “These are for me?”

  Seemingly confused by her confusion, he shot her a quick glance. “You don’t want to dehydrate. It’s not good for you. Plus you said you were nauseous this morning so you must not have eaten. You probably should.”

  “What?” he asked when Lily continued to stare at him, the bag still open in her lap.

  While Sloan had never been an outright asshole to her, he had never been directly kind either. Their relationship had always been one of two strangers that happened to share a mutual friend, that friend being Cole. Sloan had always tolerated her the way one did a bothersome puppy their kid brother found and brought home. Growing up and knowing with all her heart she was unavoidably in love with the guy, that fact had always hurt. But she had grudgingly accepted that nothing would ever become of her feelings for Sloan and that was what had helped her move on. Him showing her this tender side of himself now when she was a wreck in every sense of the word left her feeling confused, touched, and even more riddled with guilt.

  She turned her attention back to the items in her lap. “Thank you.”

  With only an inclination of his head, Sloan started the car back up and they continued.

  Lily drank the water, taking small sips to appease her empty and sensitive system. But she couldn’t trust herself to eat anything. Sloan didn’t seem pleased when she tucked the bag under her feet, but he didn’t push her.

  “Sloan?” she murmured after a moment.

  “Yeah?”

  “Thank you.”

  His gaze flicked over to her, then away just as quickly. “For what?”

  Lily bit her lip. “Everything?” She frowned down at her hands. “You could have turned me away.”

  “I thought about it,” he murmured solemnly.

  Her heart sank and she kicked herself for it. “Why didn’t you?”

  There was several seconds of pause before he replied, “Because you said please.”

  Surprised by his response, her gaze jerked over to him and caught the teasing shimmer in his blue eyes. She offered him a small smile. But as it always did, the gesture seemed to annoy him and he turned his head forward, like he suddenly remembered who she was and why she couldn’t be trusted.

  Lily willed herself not to let the disregard hurt. Maybe it was all the pregnancy hormones everyone was always talking about, but it stung a little more than usual.

  Sucking her bottom lip between her teeth and worrying it, she lay her head back against the headrest and turned to the window. Smears of green and brown flashed past as they raced down the countryside. The sun was still a brilliant, orange ball pasted against a landscape of blue. Lily tried not to concentrate on the rocking motion of the car, or the fast blur of movement outside, but instead focused on the heat of the sun warming her like a blanket as her eyes closed and she let herself drift.

  The world was dark and quiet when Sloan gently shook her awake. Lily groaned as her stiff joints protested any movement. Her neck ached from being in the same position and there was a pang along her tailbone that was sending slivers of pain along her thighs. She squinted at their surroundings, at the grassy incline on the other side of the hood, barely bathed by the dim headlights of the car and the empty halos of light spilling from lampposts over asphalt. It was a parking lot of some sort. She could just make out the dark silhouette of a building and more lights in the distance.

  “Are we there?” she croaked, her voice hoarse.

  Sloan nodded, sitting back in his seat. “Yup.”

  She reached for the water bottle she’d left in the cup holder and unscrewed the cap. Sloan pushed open his door and climbed out. Lily hurriedly rinsed her mouth and took a deep gulp before capping the bottle and setting it in the holder once more.

  Sloan was waiting for her when she pushed open the door. His hand was right there, palm open, waiting for her to take it. Lily wasn’t certain she had the guts. It would be the one and only time they had ever touched in nineteen years.

  She took the coward’s way out, by pretending she hadn’t noticed as she rolled out of the car and heaved herself up. If he noticed, he didn’t comment. Instead, he shut her door and guided her with a light hand on the small of her back, staying close until they had reached the safety of the sidewalk. He pulled out his phone and she saw Cole’s name on the brightly lit screen before he hit dial.

  “Why are you calling him?” she wondered, still feeling gritty-eyed and rumpled from her nap.

  “Because this place is enormous and I don’t want to spend the next month searching
for him.” He said a split second before she heard the familiar sound of her best friend’s voice on the other end. “Hey, it’s me,” Sloan said. “Where are you?”

  Lily couldn’t make out what Cole was saying, but he was talking fast.

  “I’m here with Lily.”

  The excitement was almost deafening as Cole responded.

  “We’re…” Sloan glanced around them and squinted at a nearby sign. “West Parkade.”

  Cole said something and a moment later, Sloan disconnected the call and stuffed the phone back inside his pocket.

  “What happened?” she asked.

  “He’s going to meet us here,” Sloan said evenly.

  Lily nodded and turned to survey what was probably a beautiful sight in the daylight. In the dark, there wasn’t much she could make out. Plus, she wasn’t really sightseeing. Her mind was a jumbled mess of nerves and fears. She still had no idea what she was going to tell Cole, or how he would take it. She imagined it would turn his life upside down as it had for her. He would be scared, possibly angry. Not at her, but at the situation. Then, because she knew him like she knew herself, he would try to do the right thing. Only she had no idea what that was.

  “Lily?” Sloan’s warm, soothing murmur drew her away from her spiraling thoughts to focus on him.

  “I’m okay,” she lied.

  He nodded slightly. “I know.” He shrugged out of his hoodie and draped it gently around her trembling shoulders. “It’s going to be okay.”

  The confidence in his tone almost reassured her. She almost believed him. She wanted to believe him. But the facts were too blinding. Instead, she had a crazy urge to close the single foot between them and bury herself in his chest. She wanted to hide her face in the hollow of his throat and beg him to make it better. She wanted to feel his arms surround her, warm, strong and protective while he assured her everything would be okay. Instead, she had his hoodie and that was close enough.

  The residual heat left behind by his body warmed the chill scattering goose bumps along her arms. His musky scent clung to the fabric and she had to stave off the urge to bunch the material to her nose when she drew it closer with a quiet murmur of thanks. He inclined his head in response and they went back to their silence. Lily was glad. She was too terrified to make conversation.