Forever His Baby

by Airicka Phoenix

  Even while the sensible voice in her head reminded her he was only trying to give her the opportunity to tell Cole the truth, she couldn’t stave off the warm flutter that tightened her chest.

  “Great!” Cole said happily. “Come on, before there are no tables left.”

  When Beth and Cole left the table, Sloan didn’t move and since he was blocking her path, Lily couldn’t move. They sat staring at each other, a clash of wills to see who would look away first. Finally, he broke the tension.

  “Why didn’t you tell him?”

  Lily bit her lip.

  “Why, Lily?” he pressed.

  Her chin wobbled before she could stop it, or the tears hot in her eyes. “Because I love him and I can’t ruin his life.”

  His gaze softened. “What about you?”

  She gave a jerky shrug. “What about me? Unlike him, I don’t have a bright future waiting for me.”

  “You could.” His voice dropped an octave. “I would want to know, Lily.” He searched her eyes. “I would want the chance to decide.”

  “That’s easy for you to say,” she whispered. “Look at him, Sloan. He got into his dream school. He’s met the perfect girl. He’s in love. He’s happy. What would be the point of telling him?”

  “He’ll find out, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day.”

  Lily shook her head. “No, no one will know, except you and me.”

  He blinked, fast and hard. “What? How…?” His face muscles tightened. His eyes darkened. “You’re terminating.” It wasn’t a question, but a flat, cold fact.

  “No,” she whispered, and watched as some of the tension melted from his shoulders. “But it would be my choice if I did.”

  “But you’re not, right?”

  “No.”

  He lowered his head, seemingly murmuring a prayer of thanks before he spoke again. “Okay, then what have you decided?”

  “There’s only one choice, isn’t there?” Her voice caught on her words and he looked up at her. “Give the baby—”

  “No.”

  Lily started. “What?”

  “No!” he repeated more firmly.

  “It’s my choice!” she gasped.

  Sparks of electric heat crackled in the depths of his eyes as he bore mercilessly into hers. “And I respect your choice not to tell Cole, I might even agree with you, but I’ll be damned if you give that baby away to strangers.”

  Fear and anger noosed around her throat, tightening until she wanted to scream. Her hands balled into fists in her lap as she meet his unwavering glare firmly.

  “That isn’t your decision!” she snapped. “It’s easy for you to say when you’re not the one who has to deal with this. This is my baby, Sloan. I get to decide what happens to it.”

  If it were possible, the temperature in the room dropped. The noise and voices faded as they faced the other down.

  “He’s my blood,” Sloan said very slowly, very carefully. “And I take care of what’s mine, Lily.”

  Chapter Two ~ Sloan

  They didn’t join Cole and Beth for Thai. Lily claimed she had a headache and Sloan didn’t argue. He wanted to leave. He needed to get home and think. He couldn’t do that when he kept worrying about why Lily wasn’t eating, if she was comfortable, if they should tell Cole about the baby. The brother in him hated breaking their number one rule: never lie to the other. And while he assured himself it wasn’t technically lying, it still ate at him, more so because he kept thinking what if it were his kid? He would want to know. A man had a right to know he had a child out there somewhere. A man would need to know so he could do the right thing. Just like Cole had a right to know and yet, Sloan couldn’t help agreeing with Lily. Cole had too much going for him. He was too close to his goal. Sloan knew his brother would give it all up if he knew. Family had always been the glue holding them together and there was nothing more important than protecting those closest to them, even if it meant sacrificing everything, something Sloan was an expert on.

  While he never considered it sacrifice, Sloan knew he had had to make tough decisions in life. There were things he had to turn away from, because the bigger picture had always been to get Cole as far away from that life as possible. But it had never been an issue for him. Sloan had always known he wasn’t important. What he wanted wasn’t important. His main and only job was to make sure Cole never went without and for the last seven years that was exactly what Sloan had done from the moment their mother had died and Sloan had made the decision to step up as the man of the house. He dropped out of school, got a job, and worked his ass off to make sure no one ever looked upon Cole with pity. It had been up to Sloan to make sure Cole was fed and clothed and had books for school. It wasn’t like their father would take the plate. More times than not, Jacob McClain was passed out next to whatever bottle he’d crawled into the night before, which was just fine with Sloan. The further he was from Cole and Sloan, the better.

  The skin on his back prickled as it always did at the thought of his father. Sloan gritted his teeth and focused determinedly on the road to keep from shifting.

  In the seat next to him, Lily was a pale figure in the darkness. She sat with her head back and her eyes closed while fingers of light splashed over her face with every streetlight they passed. She was nibbling restlessly on her thoroughly abused lip, a habit he noted she did often when she was upset. The cookies he’d gotten her at the coffee shop were clutched in a paper napkin in her hand, untouched, and his fingers tightened around the wheel. But he let it slide. There was a much bigger problem he needed to address. He just wasn’t sure how without causing another fight.

  The leather squeaked with the shift of Lily’s weight. Sloan’s attention snapped almost automatically in her direction, while still concentrating on the road. His ears perked, waiting for even the slightest sound of discomfort. He saw her raise a hand from the corner of his eye and stifle a yawn behind it. She sniffed and snuggled deeper into the seat, clutching his hoodie tighter around her much too thin shoulders.

  Sloan turned the wheel, redirecting them off course without a second of hesitation, his mind already made up.

  “Where are we going?” Lily turned her head to him.

  “Somewhere to rest for the night,” he said.

  She straightened. “I don’t understand.”

  “It’s dark,” he said simply. “I’m tired and I don’t want to be on the road.”

  It was a lie. He could have easily driven the six hours with no problem, but not with her in the car. While he trusted his own driving, he didn’t trust others. It wasn’t safe, but also, she looked exhausted. She needed rest, and since the news, her comfort and safety had simultaneously become synonymous with breathing. It was all he could think.

  He needed to protect her and that baby.

  He drove them to a motel and got a room with two beds. Lily was standing by the car when he returned. Her shimmering mane the color of corn silk seemed to glow under the flickering lamppost. The strands fell in straight lines around her shoulders and down her back, some fluttered across her rosy cheeks and were absently shoved back behind her ear. Her warm, brown eyes were hidden behind streaks of shadow, but the familiar tug in the pit of his stomach told him they watched him draw closer. Her small, pink mouth was ever so slightly parted and all he could think about was leaning down and meeting them with his. He had this inexplicable need to taste her whenever she was around, like her mouth was the center of the universe and he was dying to dive in.

  He forced aside those thoughts. They never did anyone any good, especially not him.

  “Okay?” she asked when he was close enough to hear.

  Sloan held up the keycard. “Do you need anything before we go in?”

  Lily shook her head. Her shoulders pulled up around her ears and her slim fingers tightened around the collar of his hoodie until the knuckles blazed white. Her tiny frame gave a shudder.

  “Come on.”

  He led her quickly to the room an
d the warmth inside. He snapped the lights on and ushered her inside. She gave a groan of pleasure that went straight to his nether regions.

  “Here.”

  He stuffed the keycard into his back pocket and reached for the neatly folded blanket the hotel had placed on the top rack of the closet. He yanked it down and shook it out before closing it around her.

  For a moment, his arms were around her. His face was in her hair. The silky strands smelled of a meadow after rainfall, fresh and enticing. Sloan had to fight every inch of himself not to nuzzle, not to turn his face into the slender column of her neck and lick the delicate curve of her jaw. More than that, he had to keep from turning her around, hoisting her up into his arms and carrying her to the bed. That was what he wanted more than anything, to splay her across the sheets and feast on every hill and valley of her perfect body.

  Stop it! The sensible voice in his head jarred him back to the land of the sane.

  Sloan quickly jerked back and hoped to God she hadn’t felt the proof of his weakness pushing up against the front of his pants. He moved away from her, putting as much space between them as humanly possible without physically leaving the room. He stopped only when the wall became an obstacle.

  “How long do you need to rest?”

  Sloan gave himself two heartbeats to compose before forcing himself to face her. She stood where he had left her at the foot of the first bed, staring at the paisley patterned comforter draped over the mint green sheets as though nothing had just happened. The blanket was still around her, making her appear even smaller, if possible.

  Sloan took a deep breath and moved to the second bed. He busied his hands emptying his pockets onto the nightstand, car keys, hotel keys, some loose change and his wallet.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I have work in the morning,” she explained.

  Pockets empty, he was left with no choice but to face her. “What time?”

  She was watching him. “Ten.”

  He nodded. “I’ll get you there.” After he was satisfied that she had gotten some sleep. “In the meantime, I’m going to order supper.”

  It happened slowly, a gradual curl of that beautiful mouth into one of the most dazzling smiles he had ever been witness to. Yet it was so sudden and so unexpected that he was given no chance to brace himself before he was rendered stupid, which was stupid because he had seen her smile before. Only it had never been so openly aimed at him.

  “Are you trying to feed me again?” she teased.

  Despite himself, Sloan felt the skin on his face warm. “I eat too you know,” he muttered defensively.

  If his tone affected her at all, she never showed it. Her sweet laugh carried across the room and punched him in the chest.

  “If you keep this up, I’m going to be enormous by the time I have this baby.”

  He wasn’t sure why, but the picture those words conjured pleased him. He liked the thought of her being soft and round with the baby inside her, even if the baby wasn’t his.

  That thought bothered him. Not that she was pregnant, but that she was pregnant with another man, even if that other man was his brother. While he had never had any delusions that Lily would ever be his, the idea that she had been with someone else cut at him. He hated it. It filled him with an irrational punch of rage that made no sense—Lily wasn’t his. She was never his. She never would be. So to stake claim on her now was ridiculous. Yet he couldn’t help wishing it had been him. He wanted it to be his baby she carried. He wanted to be the one inside her making that life.

  He shoved the thought aside violently. He wasn’t. She was his brother’s best friend. She was also carrying said brother’s baby. He needed to remember that. His only job was to make sure that kid was taken care of. For the time being that meant he needed to take care of the mother and that was all.

  “Sloan?”

  “You’re eating for two,” he blurted.

  He was gifted with another playful smile. “Yes, but you’re not the one who will have to lose all that weight afterwards.”

  There was no stopping the annoyance that flared through him. It furrowed his brows and pursed his lips into a thin line of impatience. “It’s hardly the time to start worrying about your weight. You need to eat. The baby needs you to be healthy.”

  The soft, sweet look she gave him was a physical blow to the sternum. “You are going to be an amazing daddy one day, Sloan.”

  He thought about her words long after the food had been ordered and he’d managed to coax two slices of pizza down Lily’s throat. He sat on his bed, the TV playing some Clint Eastwood movie on mute as she slept soundly in the next bed.

  Sloan had never thought about having children in the past. Maybe it was because he had raised Cole since the boy had been ten, but he had always felt like he’d already done it. He had raised a child. He had sent him off to school. He didn’t need to experience that again. But Lily’s careless remark stirred something in him, something dormant and hidden deep in the place he kept far away from. It made him pang for things he shouldn’t. Lord knew he had his plate full with his moving company, Cole, and now the baby Lily was going to have.

  Lily.

  His gaze slid across the two feet separating them. He traced the silhouette of her resting form beneath the stiff comforter. He had always wondered how she slept. All the times she stayed over, he couldn’t help hating Cole a little for getting those private moments with her. Now he was the one who got to watch her and the way her mouth was slightly parted, and how she breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth with a soft exhale. It irked him that there was nothing about her, not one thing that annoyed him. And even if there had been, he still wanted her with a desperation that hurt like a physical wound.

  Swearing, he jerked his mind and eyes away from the familiar temptation. She was still so young and so out of his reach. Now more than ever.

  Flipping off the TV, he climbed into bed and fought like the devil to fall asleep. But his mind, like his body was too restless. It wanted too much to get up and take action. The part of him that was too used to taking charge and fixing problems growled in frustration at his incapability. But tomorrow was another day and if there was one thing Sloan McClain was good at, it was fixing things.

  There wasn’t much said between them as Sloan drove back into Willow Creek. The sun was already bright in the sky when he pulled alongside Lily’s house. He hurried around to her side of the car and helped her out. She murmured a thanks when he shut it and turned to face her.

  “Will you be okay?”

  Lily nodded. “I think so.” She squinted up at him. “Thank you for everything. I know going up must have been such a waste of your time, but I appreciate it.”

  “It wasn’t.” His gaze skimmed her flat belly before he focused on the ground at their feet. “Lily, I want you to promise to call me if you need anything. I don’t care what time it is, or what it’s about, I need to know you won’t hesitate.”

  She was shaking her head even before he finished. “You’ve already done so much—”

  “I don’t care!” He cursed when she jumped. He willed his voice to calm down. “There is nothing more important than you and that baby.” He drew in a breath, met her gaze squarely and murmured, “You’re not alone, Lily. I won’t let you be alone.”

  “Don’t…” Her voice was thick with the tears he could see shimmering in her eyes. “Don’t get attached. Please.”

  His own better judgment took a backseat as anger flooded through him. “It’s too late for that. You might not have told Cole about that baby, but he or she is not without family. I am its family and I am going to fight for it.”

  “This isn’t your concern anymore,” she whispered, her face twisted in frustration and grief.

  “It will always be my concern,” he said tightly. “If you don’t want that baby, I do. I will take it and raise it myself.”

  Lily gasped. The look of hurt and betrayal seared through him. “I never s
aid I didn’t want it. I’m trying to do what’s best for his or her future, a future I can’t give it. Why are you doing this?”

  “I told you,” he said at last. “I take care of what’s mine.”

  “I’m not yours!” She looked away from him. “This … this baby isn’t yours. We’re not your problem.”

  “You made it my problem the minute you showed up on my doorstep, Lily,” he shot back hotly. “I won’t let you give that baby away. I will fight you every step of the way and do whatever I need to do to make sure it comes to me, even if I have to tell Cole the truth.”

  He regretted his words the moment they were said. The fear in her eyes, the step she took away from him, hurt worse than if she had smacked him.

  A movement from the house stilled anything he could possibly say to make amends. The curtains over the front windows shifted back and a pale face peered through. Sloan cursed inwardly and swallowed down the tirade bubbling in his chest. He turned his attention back to Lily.

  “Meet me tonight after work,” he said instead, gentling his voice. “We need to talk about this, Lily.”

  She looked on the verge of refusing. It wouldn’t have surprised him after he’d just finished threatening her. But she gave the faintest nod.

  “I get off at five,” she murmured.

  “I’ll pick you up,” he promised, then quickly turned towards the car before she could change her mind.

  He had a hand on the door handle when she called him back. He watched as she raised her hand and took hold of the zipper tongue on his hoodie and began slowly sliding it downward. It was a perfectly harmless gesture, but damn if something hard didn’t kick him in the gut. Midway, just below the soft swell of her breasts, she seemed to falter, like she could sense the animal thrashing around inside him. Her lashes lifted and Sloan was seized in velvet brown eyes. Their gazes locked like the antlers on two warring bucks; he couldn’t look away.

  When the zipper finally gave way and the hoodie slid over her shoulders, his breath caught in his chest. His jeans became suddenly uncomfortable and he had the dizzying urge to grab her, shove her against the side of his car and…