The Mystery of the Frozen Brains

by Marty Chan

  Finally, the school bell rang for the start of afternoon classes. Someone turned off the television. Then the teachers grumbled about having to go back to class. It was strange to hear that even teachers didn’t like to go to class.

  Their footsteps headed out of the lounge. But then one set of footsteps came toward my hiding place. I tensed my butt cheeks. I hugged myself and tried to shrink to the size of a fly. All I got was a headache. The footsteps stopped right beside the cupboard. I held my breath and listened.

  Glug. Glug. Glug.

  The sound of coffee being poured into a cup.

  Some teacher was fuelling up for the rest of the day. I unclenched my butt.

  “We’re out of sugar,” a man’s voice said.

  “I think there’s some around here,” Mrs. Connor said.

  Yes there was. Right under me. The cupboard creaked open and light punched through. I had to act fast. I reached under my bum and flicked the sugar packet out of the cupboard.

  “Oh look,” Mrs. Connor said. There’s some here on the floor.”

  The door squeaked shut and darkness wrapped around me. I heard the tinkle of a spoon against a porcelain cup. The teachers were stirring their coffees. Just a few more minutes and I would be safe. Finally, the footsteps left the room. I waited a few minutes to be sure that I was alone. I would be late for class, but I’d get in less trouble for being late than being caught in the teachers’ lounge.

  I pushed the door open and tried to squirm out, but I couldn’t move my legs. I was wedged in the cupboard. I rocked back and forth but I didn’t budge an inch. No matter how hard I tried, I could not get free. The more I struggled, the more stuck I got. I felt like Remi snagged on the barbed-wire fence, only this time I couldn’t go forward or backwards. And there was no one to help me.

  I took a deep breath. There had to be a way out. I just hadn’t thought of it yet. I curled up into a smaller ball and tried to roll out. When I tucked my head between my legs, I let out a gross fart. Now I was stuck and stinky.

  “Help,” I gasped. “I’m here! Anyone! Anyone but an alien sympathizer! Help me!”

  I felt like I yelled for ten minutes straight. At first, I bellowed. But as my throat got hoarser, my cries turned into whimpers. I stopped to catch my breath. And that’s when I heard the lounge door open.

  Re-energized, I yelled, “Help me! I’m stuck in the cupboard.”

  I saw a pair of legs walk closer. My saviour bent over so I could see his face. It was Jean Boissonault. Could things get any worse?

  FIFTEEN

  “Hey, Jacques,” Jean called out. “Check this out.” Jacques Boissonault bent down and cracked a big smile. “Good thing Mrs. Riopel sent both of us to check on the noise.”

  “Yeah, I’d hate for you to have all the fun,” Jean said. Then he looked at me. “We’ve been looking for you.”

  Jacques growled, “You and that traitor, Remi.”

  “Let me out,” I said, feeling cramps in my neck, back, and legs.

  “What’s the magic word?” Jacques taunted.

  “Please,” I said.

  “In French,” Jean said.

  I tried to say “please” with a French accent. It sounded more like “police.”

  “Stupid Chinaman,” Jacques growled. “Are you making fun of the way we talk?”

  Jean piped up, “He’s just like the rest of them. Thinks he’s too smart for us.”

  Jacques laughed, “He can’t be that smart. Look at where he is.”

  Jean examined my tight quarters. “So how did you get stuck in here?”

  “None of your business.”

  “It is if we have to pull you out,” Jean said.

  “Who said we were going to do that?” Jacques argued. “We still owe him for getting us in trouble with ‘The Rake.’”

  Jean nodded. “Yeah, let’s get him out and ‘thank’ him for that.”

  “I don’t need your help,” I lied.

  Jacques chuckled. “I think you do.”

  “All you’re going to do is pull me out, beat me up and stick me back in the cupboard.”

  Jean nodded, “That’s a pretty good idea. Why didn’t you think of that Jacques?”

  “Who said I didn’t?”

  “I’ll tell on you,” I warned.

  Jacques knelt down and blasted me with his peanut butter breath. “Why did your slant-eyed parents come here in the first place, stupid chink?”

  “Get out of there,” Jean ordered.

  “No way. I know what you’re going to do to me.”

  Jacques threatened, “You’ll get it either way.”

  “What do you plan to do with me? The same thing you did to Remi?”

  “That yapper is going to get his soon enough,” Jacques said.

  The way Jacques uttered his threat made me think he knew where Remi was. I guessed the brothers held him hostage on the flying saucer inside the hill. I could almost see him strapped in a hard metal chair surrounded by the brainless Eric and Norman. I pictured Trina, helpless and brainless in another metal chair. I had to hurry if I was going to save all of them.

  “I know what you did,” I lied, hoping to trick the brothers into telling me what I needed.

  “What did we do?” the brothers said at the exact same time.

  “Jinx!” They punched each other in the arm.

  “Ow! Double jinx!” More punching followed.

  They glared at each other, waiting for the other one to speak again, their fists cocked and ready. It was a Boissonault stand-off.

  I broke the silence, “I saw everything at the hill.”

  “You didn’t see anything,” Jacques said.

  “You did a lousy job of hiding it,” I continued.

  “I told you it was a bad idea,” Jean told his brother.

  “Shut up!”

  “I know everything,” I bluffed.

  Jean whispered, “He knows about the — ”

  “I said shut up.” Jacques hit his brother hard in the stomach then pointed the same fist in my face. “You won’t talk if you know what’s good for you.”

  Jacques was a tough cookie, but Jean seemed ready to crumble.

  I ignored Jacques’ fist and called out to Jean. “You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

  “Don’t listen to the Chinaman, Jean.”

  “Is Jacques the boss of you?”

  “Shut up, chink.”

  Jean told his brother to leave me alone, but Jacques refused.

  “You tell anyone about what you saw at the hill, you’re gonna be really sorry.” Jacques sounded more nervous than threatening.

  “Maybe I’ll tell the Father.”

  “Leave him out of this,” Jean said.

  Jacques agreed. “Our father doesn’t have to know anything about this.

  The Night Watchman scared even Jacques Boissonault. I had some leverage. If I kept pushing, the brothers would tell me how to get into the spaceship.

  “Maybe we can work something out,” I said.

  “Forget it,” Jacques spat. “I don’t make deals with Chinamen.”

  “Let’s listen to him,” Jean said.

  “No, let’s punch him until he promises to keep his mouth shut.”

  “I’ll talk no matter what you do,” I said.

  Jacques pulled his brother away. “Jean, no one’s going to believe that stupid kid.”

  “If Father finds out we snuck out with his rifle, we’re dead.”

  Why were they talking about a rifle? I remembered seeing them with a gun at the hill, but I assumed they used it to guard the spaceship. As I re-played the snow hill escape in my mind, I remembered that Jean had tried very hard to hide the rifle. He didn’t want Remi and me to know he had it.

  I called out, “You tell me where Remi is and maybe I’ll think about keeping quiet about the gun.”

  Jacques and Jean looked at me, confused.

  “What are you talking about?” Jean asked. “We haven’t seen the punk all day.
”

  “I know what you did to him,” I said.

  “He’s crazy. That’s from eating too much rice,” Jacques said.

  “How could we do anything to him? He wasn’t at school today.”

  “Stop lying,” I said. “I’ll tell everyone about the rifle if you don’t tell me where you put Remi.”

  Jacques shook his head. “I’m telling you we didn’t see the guy.”

  Jacques looked pale, while Jean seemed ready to throw up.

  “Let me out of this cupboard,” I ordered. I wanted to see how much power I had over the brothers.

  Jean and Jacques pushed each other out of the way to help me. They apologized for keeping me inside the cupboard for so long, and they sounded sincere. When I was finally free of the cupboard, I stretched out the cramps that wracked my body.

  Again, I demanded, “Tell me where Remi is.”

  “I swear on crossed hockey sticks,” said Jean. “We didn’t see him today.”

  “He didn’t come to school. You have to believe us,” offered Jacques.

  The brothers trembled before me. They were telling the truth. But this sparked a new mystery. Why hadn’t they seen Remi? I thought Father Sasseville’s altar boys played some part in Remi’s brain-napping. And yet, they had no idea where my friend was.

  The only person who would know was the Night Watchman.

  SIXTEEN

  The church doors were unlocked, but I didn’t see Father Sasseville anywhere inside. I suspected he might have been hiding in the bowels of the church, where he was probably scooping out Remi’s brains. I searched all over the main floor for stairs or trap doors. I checked between and under the hard wooden benches that lined the church. Above me, a giant mural of Jesus watched from the domed ceiling. I could almost feel his eyes following me.

  As I took in the mural, I started to get a sense of just how big the church was. I felt puny against the giant mural and the towering stained glass windows. There could be a million places in the church to hide a brainless body.

  Suddenly, a door creaked open to the left of me. A skinny woman in a heavy winter coat exited a large booth. She headed to the front pew, knelt, made a strange motion in front of her chest and then bowed her head. She started to mutter. I tiptoed over to hear what she was saying. It was some kind of chant that she repeated over and over again.

  I had no idea what she was saying, but it seemed too important to interrupt. Maybe the booth she came from would have answers. I tiptoed over and cracked the door open. I saw nothing but a dim booth.

  “Come inside,” Father Sasseville’s voice whispered from nearby.

  I had found the Night Watchman at last. And with a little luck, I’d soon find Remi too. I stepped inside and looked around for the source of Father Sasseville’s voice. The area appeared to be a dark phone booth with a tiny bench, except there was no phone. Instead, a dark mesh screen sat on a wall.

  “I am here for you,” Father Sasseville said through the screen.

  I couldn’t see Father Sasseville’s face at all. It was too dark. I assumed he couldn’t see my face either, which gave me an advantage.

  “Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be listening,” he urged.

  I sat on the bench and collected my thoughts.

  This was my big moment. Whatever happened in this booth would determine the future of Earth.

  Father Sasseville said. “Do you seek absolution?”

  I didn’t know what he meant at first. I tried to break the word into smaller parts. “Absolut” was like “absolute,” which meant total, but total what? Total failure. The Night Watchman taunted me. I had failed Remi and the rest of the humans on the planet.

  I looked around the booth for some sign that I could still stop the invasion, but all I saw was the Night Watchman’s shadow against the screen. My head drooped in defeat.

  Then something caught my eye. At the bottom of the screen, someone had scratched the word: “Duh.” It was Remi’s favourite saying. He had sent me a message.

  I didn’t have to stop the invasion right now. All I had to do was find Remi. If I could do that, then together we could figure out what to do next. In the same way that I broke big words into little parts, I had to split the task of saving the world into little parts. Step one: rescue my friend. Step two: ask Remi what to do. I divided the word “absolution” in a brand new way. “AB” was a blood type for humans. “Solution” was an answer. And I had the human answer to the alien invasion.

  “I’m ready,” I said.

  “What do you have to confess?”

  “Don’t you hate keeping secrets?”

  “Whatever you say will not go beyond this confessional, my son.”

  “You must know a lot of secrets about a lot of people.”

  “We’re here to talk about your sins.”

  “Are we?” I asked. “I think you have a few secrets of your own.”

  Father Sasseville went silent.

  I pushed on. “I know what you are doing.”

  “And what would that be?” He sounded shaky.

  “You’re planning an invasion.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I know everything. You’re bringing aliens to this town.”

  “How did you know about that?” Father Sasseville was against the ropes.

  “I know about the alien invasion.”

  “Please, my son. It’s rude to call them aliens.” He sounded desperate now that his cover was blown. “They’re called Vietnamese. They are refugees that need our love and understanding, not our hate.”

  “Yeah, so they can take over the world.”

  “They are coming here to start over. You should not have any prejudice against them. They only want to have what we have.”

  “They want Earth bodies,” I accused.

  “Earth what? Just what are you talking about?”

  “Father Sasseville, I know your plans with my dad.”

  “Who is your — ? Wait a minute. Are you George Chan’s boy?”

  “Yes.”

  “My son, of all people, you should be the most pleased. They’re just like you.”

  I didn’t have anything in common with aliens. I felt more human than Saturnian. “I don’t want them here.”

  “But they have a daughter your age and a son who is only a year younger than you. You will become good friends.”

  “I had a friend, until you took him away.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

  “Remi Boudreau.”

  “Ah, yes. Remi. He’s got a good head on his shoulders.”

  “Not any more.”

  “What?”

  “He’s my friend, and I want him back.”

  “I don’t know where he is.”

  “I know what you’re doing. I know why those aliens are coming here. You can call off the invasion.”

  “My son, why are you so scared? These people have done you no harm.”

  “They will.”

  “They won’t. They are like you in many ways. They are from the same part of the world as you. Maybe not the same country, but you will have many similarities.” He tried to make the invasion sound like it was supposed to be a good thing.

  “It’s still an invasion,” I argued.

  “Four people do not make an invasion, my son.”

  “There will be more. There always is.”

  “And we will welcome them all with open arms,” Father Sasseville said. “If we close our arms, we close our minds.”

  “I won’t let you go through with your plans.”

  “Don’t you want to be with people like you?”

  Father Sasseville stumped me. Before I had met Remi I wished that I looked like the other kids at school or that they looked like me. If we looked alike, then I wouldn’t feel so alone. But Remi didn’t care what I looked like and I didn’t care what he looked like, and we were still friends.

  “You can’t be sure we’ll like each other even if we
look alike,” I argued.

  “You haven’t even given them a chance.”

  “I don’t want them here. They’re going to change everything.”

  “Sometimes change is a good thing.” This guy had an answer for everything.

  “I’ll tell my parents everything. They’ll stop the invasion. They’ll see how upset I am and they’ll change their minds. I’ll make them stop the invasion.”

  “Perhaps we should talk with them together. I’m sure we can work things out.”

  Father Sasseville sounded so confident, like he knew my parents would side with him. I started to think about how Mom had pushed Remi out of the store and how Dad never seemed to have time for me.

  “I’ll go to the newspapers,” I said. “I know a magazine that would be very interested in what you’re doing.”

  “We’re trying to keep this quiet. We want people to get used to the newcomers on their own terms.”

  “No one’s going to get used to them. They’re horrible aliens.”

  “My son, these people have been through so much already. We should let them come in peace.”

  “Why? So they can take over people?”

  “Take over people? Ah, do you mean they’ll take your place?”

  I never thought that my parents would replace me because I was an alien like them. Now I knew I was expendable.

  “At least return the brains and the aliens can come here.”

  “Pardon me?”

  “You heard me.”

  “What brains?”

  “Remi’s brain. And Trina’s too. You can keep Eric’s.”

  “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

  “That’s my offer. You have until tomorrow to decide. If not, then I tell everyone about the invasion.” I got up and bolted out of the booth. Father Sasseville stepped out of his cubicle and called after me, but I sprinted out of the church.