In A Heartbeat (The Shameful Regret Series)

by King, Liz

  I turn around to see Matt walking in with another paramedic. Matt also has a few bruises covering the side of his face and it looks like he has a split eyebrow that is being held together with a butterfly bandage. The moment our eyes lock, a salacious grin takes over his face. He turns to tell his partner to go on in to get some food while he walks my direction. I walk away, heading towards receiving line for dirty dishes and trays. I want to put as much distance between myself and him as possible. I look over at the two police officers on the opposite side of the seating area; they are immersed in their own conversation.

  “Where are your boyfriends?” Matt drawls. “Doesn’t surprise me to see a slut like you with two of ‘em.”

  “Leave me alone, Matt.” My voice comes out weak and timid. I feel my heart racing in my chest. I back up some more until my back hits the counter behind me.

  Matt closes the distance between us. “Your dumbfuck friend attacked me. Said some bullshit about me raping you.” He growled. “You know damn good and well, that’s not the way it happened. You wanted it, and you know it.” His hot breath feels like acid to my skin.

  I can feel the room closing in on me, but I hear Connor’s voice in my head telling me that I didn’t do anything wrong. It gives me strength. “You did rape me, asshole. I said NO!” I shove hard at his chest to try to get him to move out of my way, but he doesn’t budge. I realize that Matt has backed me into a corner that is blocked by the high backs of the booths in front of us.

  Matt’s hand reaches up and grabs my jaw. He’s squeezing my face in a vice grip. I can feel my teeth digging into the insides of my cheeks. “You know you wanted it. You loved every fucking minute of it.”

  I try to get out of his grasp. “I said leave me alone! Let go of me!” I cry.

  I stumble backwards behind the booths in the cafeteria. Matt still has a tight grip on my face and has grabbed both of my wrists in his other hand. I feel my heart pounding in my chest. “I said no! That means I didn’t want you touching me. Back then or now!”

  “Maybe I should give you a little reminder.” Matt’s face is a breath away from mine. When he leans forward even more, I kick him hard in the shin.

  Matt does let go of my face, but only for a moment. The back of his hand comes crashing across my jaw splitting my lower lip, making the side of my face erupt in pain. I cry out and slump to the floor.

  “You bitch!” Matt yells and lunges for me, but is pulled back by the two police officers I saw earlier. “What the hell! She attacked me!” Matt struggles as one of the officers is pulling out a pair of handcuffs to restrain him.

  I’m slightly dizzy and I can taste blood in my mouth when sit up. I try to stand, but when I move my head, the room spins. The other paramedic that had been walking in with Matt rushes to my side.

  “Johnson, what the fuck?” He says looking at Matt, then turns his attention to me. “Ma’am, can you see me? Is your vision blurry?” I look from him back to Matt.

  Matt is still struggling against one of the officers, calling me every name imaginable, but he has been cuffed and was pushed into the booth near us. “That is a lying bitch!” He yells. The other officer is speaking on his radio, stating that he is bringing Matt in on assault charges after he gets my statement.

  The paramedic at my side waves his hand in front of my face. “Ma’am, my name is Jaime, can you tell me your name?” He is ignoring Matt telling him to let me go to hell. He has obviously figured out that my red, swollen cheek and split lip came from his partner, and is focusing solely on me.

  “I’m a little dizzy.” I mumble. It’s hard to talk. Jaime assists me to a more upright sitting position. “I need to go. I need to get back upstairs.” I start to shake realizing that I am going to have to face Connor, Sly and Gina. “I need to go clean up.”

  “No, you’re going to let me take you across the hall to the ER. You need to get checked out, and I think the officers need to take some photos and get a statement. Ma’am, you need to get looked at.” Jaime says as he gently moves my face from side to side to examine my injuries. “Do you have family here in the hospital? I can call them and let them know what’s going on.”

  The taller officer that had been holding Matt back starts to walk him out of the cafeteria. “Mitchell, I’m taking this kid in. You see to the young lady. I’ll be back in twenty. Get her statement and see if she wants to press charges.” I hear Matt scuffling and cursing the entire way out of the cafeteria.

  The officer that had been talking on his radio squats down to my level. “Miss, I’m Officer Mitchell, Jaime and I are going to assist you to the ER. I need to talk to you about what happened, and you need to let a doctor examine you. What is your name?”

  Just as I’m about to open my mouth to respond, I feel his presence in the room. “Lynae! Oh my God! Baby! What happened?” Connor comes running to my side, practically knocking Jaime off balance.

  That is when the tears come. The floodgates open, and I can’t stop them. Jaime and Officer Mitchell step back and let Connor envelope me in his arms. I cling to him. “Shh, baby, I’m here. I should have come down here with you.” Connor smoothes my hair away from my face. “Officer, please tell me what the hell happened?” He asks Officer Mitchell.

  “And you are?” Officer Mitchell asks, his note pad in hand.

  “Connor Reeves, Lynae Michaels’ boyfriend.”

  “Ok, Mr. Reeves. It sounds like Mr. Johnson was attempting to confront Miss Michaels. My partner and I overheard her tell him to go away, and to leave her alone.” Officer Mitchell pauses. “Unfortunately, we didn’t get over here in time to prevent the situation. We observed Mr. Johnson strike Miss Michaels, and we restrained him before he was able to assault her further.”

  Connor’s arms tense around me. I can feel the anger coming off his body in waves. “That fucker was here and laid his hands on her? That asshole raped her eight years ago. I want to press charges.”

  Officer Mitchell and Jaime both take a deep breath. Jaime reaches over to me again. “Miss Michaels, please let me take you over to the ER. Mr. Reeves can come with you.”

  “Come on baby, let’s get up and get checked out.” Connor picks me up with ease and motions for Jaime to lead the way to the ER.

  I just nod my head. The tears have stopped, but I try to find my voice to speak. As I take in Connor’s warmth and comfort I look up at him. “I told him no. I told him to go away. I told him that he raped me. That I didn’t ask for it.” I bury my head into his chest again, trying to not burst into hysterics again. “I kicked him.” I say, but the words are muffled by Connor’s shirt.

  “I’m proud of you, Sweetness. Hope it was in the balls.” Connor kisses the top of my head as he carries me into the ER and into a room.

  Connor texted Sly to let him know what was going on, and he was down in my ER room within minutes. Apparently since I had been gone for longer than they expected, Connor came looking for me. Officer Mitchell asked all the questions he needed to complete my statement and the ER physician took a few photos before I was allowed to wash the blood off of my face.

  As much I as I wish that I had either Connor or Sly with me when I had to face Matt, I am actually grateful that neither one of them were there. That would have been a nasty confrontation. One that I’m sure would have ended with both parties being arrested instead of just one. I know that if given the chance, Connor would likely beat the life out of Matt. I couldn’t deal with him going to jail over me. Sly has already gotten in a fight because of this situation, I’m just glad that he didn’t get in any trouble for it. Matt is being charged with assault and battery since he physically hit me.

  After a thorough examination, despite my protests, I’m released from the ER with an icepack and a prescription for some painkillers that I don’t intend on using. I have a busted lip, and I will definitely have a bruise tomorrow. My cheek and jaw are already starting to turn an ugly purplish color. That is not going to be fun explaining to Daddy and everyone else when we get ho
me. We went back up to say our tearful goodbyes to Gina. She kept claiming over and over again that had she not wanted coffee that this wouldn’t have happened. I told her that as much as it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t her fault either.

  With promises from Sly that he would be coming to Charleston within the next few weekends, Connor and I leave the hospital to head home. Tomorrow is Sunday, and I really need a day to relax and recover from all of the events of this visit. Connor wanted to go back to his apartment, but I insisted going back to mine. I miss my bed and I don’t want to miss Sunday breakfast with Daddy. I called Daddy and told him that Connor would be joining us. He seemed happy to be able to spend time with him to get to know the “man trying to steal his little girl” some more.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  “Wake up, Sweetness.” Connor kisses my forehead. “Your dad is going to be here soon, and I don’t think he wants to see you in your pajamas and me in my underwear.” He chuckles.

  I whine and roll over on my side, burrowing under the covers and into Connor’s side even more. “It’s warm here. I don’t wanna get up.” I nuzzle my nose against Connor’s bare chest, inhaling deeply. He smells divine. I could lay here and just smell him all day, and be perfectly content. Other than feeling warm and cozy in bed with Connor, I am afraid of facing Daddy. I haven’t figured out what I’m going to tell him about my bruises. I haven’t seen them yet this morning, but if the soreness I’m feeling is any indication of how bad I look, I’m sure it’s bad.

  “No, you need to get that sweet ass out of bed. Come on.” Connor flips the covers off of me and pushes me over onto my back. I see his eyebrows draw in as his eyes take in my face. “Does it hurt?”

  That’s all the answer I need. I know I look horrible. I try to cover my face with my hands. “I must look terrible!” I groan licking my bottom lip, it still feels swollen.

  Connor sits up, grabs my hands and pulls me up to face him. “You look absolutely beautiful. I just hate to see evidence that the asshole touched you.” He leans in to softly kiss the side my mouth that isn’t swollen. “Let’s get a shower, and you’ll feel better.”

  I let Connor lead me into my bathroom. He slowly peels my pajamas off of my body, then removes his boxers after starting the shower so the water can warm up. I look at his chiseled body. He is breathtakingly beautiful. It looks as if he could have been carved from stone. I feel desire build within me, but before I can reach up to kiss Connor, he pulls me into the shower.

  “Sweetness, I want you so bad right now, but for starters, we don’t have time for me to properly worship your body the way it deserves, and secondly, I don’t want to hurt you. The doctor said you needed to take it easy. Your head checked out fine, but that was a hard hit you took yesterday.” Connor grasps my shoulders and spins me around so he can wash my hair, massaging my scalp with his strong fingers.

  I let him pamper me and take care of me. Even though we aren’t being physically intimate, it still feels as though he is making love to me this way too. Connor lathers me up with my favorite body wash and then gently runs the washcloth over my bruised cheek, kissing it lightly after he rinses me off.

  I look up into his deep green eyes. “I love you. So much.” I squeeze him tightly. I didn’t think it was possible to fall so deeply in love with someone, so quickly, but my heart belongs to Connor. I think the moment our eyes met, he owned me.

  “And I love you.” Connor brushes his lips across my own. His tongue sweeping along the seam of my lips lightly. He pulls back when I wince from the pressure on my sore lip. “I’m sorry, Sweetness. I can’t control myself around you.”

  I loop my arms around his neck. “I can’t control myself either. Don’t apologize.” I place a quick peck to his lips, then turn around. “We need to get dressed. You said you didn’t think Daddy would like to see us in our underwear. Well, he really wouldn’t want to see us naked. I’m already worried about what to tell him about my face.” I sigh as I step out of the shower and wrap my body with a towel.

  Connor steps out behind me, pulling me back against his chest. “We tell him the truth about what happened. It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to break him, but he needs to know. I think you’ll feel better once you get it out in the open once and for all. I’ll be here, or I can leave while you talk to him.” He kisses the top of my head. “I’ll do whatever you need me to do, Sweetness.”

  I know he’s right. As much as I don’t want to tell Daddy everything, he needs to know. Looking back, I know that I should have told him what happened the night I came home. I have come to terms with the fact that it was not my fault, but now I fear that Daddy will be disappointed in me for hiding it. I need Connor by my side for this. He is my strength. He is my rock. “Please stay with me.”

  ~

  Knocking on the front door drags me from my attempts of covering up the bruising with makeup. The purplish blue bruise is too dark for my foundation and powder to hide. I have been fussing in front of the mirror for the last twenty minutes. I take a deep breath and go to answer the door. Connor is sitting on the couch watching television, but he stands to walk with me.

  I don’t expect to see Michelle standing there with Daddy when I open the door. I knew I was going to see her and explain to her as well, but I wasn’t planning on telling her everything. Daddy’s broad smile instantly vanishes as he takes in my appearance. His eyes go dark and menacing and immediately looks over my shoulder at Connor.

  “Boy, if you did this, you had better hope to God that you can run fast, because I will kill you right now.” Daddy growls at Connor while Michelle pushes past him to cup my face in her hand.

  “Lynae! What the hell?” Michelle’s eyes start to tear up, and I know I won’t be able to keep myself from losing it.

  Connor confidently places his hands on my shoulders. “Michelle, John, come on in. No, sir, I did not do this to Lynae. I’d rather die than lay a hand on your daughter. She has some things she needs to tell you.”

  I gather strength from Connor’s touch. His warmth infuses me with the courage I need to let out all of my demons. I nod my head, motioning for them to come in and sit down. I haven’t found my voice yet.

  Daddy and Michelle walk through the kitchen and into the living room. Connor continues to stand behind me holding me against his chest. I know he can feel the nervous energy radiating off of me. He gently rubs my arms up and down trying to soothe me. “I don’t know if I can do this, baby.” I murmur.

  “Yes, you can. I’ll be right beside you. I’m not letting you go. I love you, and I know you can do this. They love you, and will support you. Remember, none of this is or was your fault.” Connor reassures me, turning us to walk towards the living room.

  Daddy is sitting in the oversized chair with his back stiff and a stern expression on his face. Michelle still looks like she could burst into tears at any moment curled up in the corner of the sofa. Connor pulls me down practically in his lap on the sofa. He keeps his hand on my thigh, squeezing it gently. I know he is trying to give me strength and encouragement.

  I look up into Daddy’s eyes. I can tell that he still thinks I may be hiding that Connor did this to me, but he is trying to give me the benefit of doubt. As a police officer, he has dealt with many battered women defending their partners. “Daddy, Connor didn’t do this. He would never hurt me. He loves me.”

  Daddy begins to open his mouth to say something, but I stop him.

  “I need to get this out. So, please don’t say anything until I’m done. I should have told you when it happened, but I was too afraid and ashamed.” I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “When we were still living back in Birmingham, when I was a freshman, do you remember Matt?” I ask. Daddy nods cautiously. “The last night that he and I went out, he forced himself on me. He raped me and I thought it was my fault and I didn’t tell you because I thought it was my fault and I thought you’d hate me and be disappointed in me and never forgive me.” I’m rambling, and I know it, but if I st
op, I won’t be able to continue. I see the pain and anger flare in Daddy’s eyes. I hear Michelle gasp and begin to cry. I feel Connor wrap his arms around me in support.

  “Matt was living with Sly, and when we were there, I saw him for the first time since school, and Connor and Sly found out. Sly and Matt got in a fight. Matt saw me in cafeteria when we were visiting Gina again, and he cornered me, I kicked him, he hit me, and he was arrested.” I’m out of breath when I stop talking. I’m afraid to look back up at Daddy, but suddenly he is on his knees in front of me taking my face in his hands to force me to look at him.

  “Kara Lynae. You’re my baby girl. I could never hate you. Why didn’t you tell me? You are my world. I love you so much. We could have pressed charges back then.” Daddy pulls me down to him. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know. A father is supposed to know when something is wrong with their child. I love you so much.” Daddy is crying now, and this makes me break down and cry again. I am so sick of crying. “I’m so sorry baby girl.” I haven’t seen Daddy cry since the night Momma died.

  “You didn’t do anything, Daddy. I know I should have told you.” I lean forward into Daddy’s arms. “I just, I just couldn’t. I didn’t even tell Momma. I never told anyone.”

  “I love Lynae very much. She means everything to me. Your daughter has been holding this in for so long. I don’t know how she’s managed to survive with that in her head, but she has grown into a remarkable woman.” Connor is rubbing circles on my back as he talks to Daddy.

  Daddy looks up to meet Connor’s eyes. “Son, I don’t need you to tell me about my little girl. I can see that she is beautiful, smart and strong. I can also tell that you are being completely honest in your feelings for her.” Daddy looks from Connor back to me. “Lynae, don’t ever think you can’t talk to me about something. You are my world. You can tell me anything.”