Without You: Book 1 of the Changing Hearts Series

by Yesenia Vargas

  “This girl named Wendy in my lit class was talking shit about me going out with you,” she paused. “Then she pushed me as she was walking by. And I pushed her back.”

  Lucas’s eyebrows furrowed. “Wendy? Our grade? Short hair?”

  “Yeah…You know her?”

  Lucas played with his food. “Yeah… She’s my ex. I went out with her for a couple of months last year.”

  “Seriously?” Ariana just stared with her mouth open. She grossed herself out at the thought of them kissing. Or worse.

  “Dude. You just lost some cool points,” said Mayra. She had been trying to act like she wasn’t listening, but obviously she had been.

  “I have to agree with Mayra,” Ariana said.

  Lucas blushed and put down his fork. “Can we talk about this later?”

  Then she blushed. She thought of her ex, Carlos. Wendy was nothing next to him. Carlos had done some really horrible things. Or rather Carlos’s friends. Wendy was just all talk. Mostly.

  “Sorry,” she took his hand, which was on his leg.

  He took a deep breath. “Don’t worry about it.” He went back to eating, although definitely less enthusiastically. “So what happened?”

  “She was talking about me and you and why you’d even want to be with me after…”

  He looked at her. She tried to focus on her words, just her words and getting them out. “After what happened last year. With my ex, Carlos. And the pictures from this stupid party.”

  “I don’t care about any of that.”

  “So you know what happened?” She turned to him.

  “Well, yeah. I didn’t know you, but I saw you two together, and he was in one of my classes. I pretty much heard what happened.”

  What a horribly, awkwardly small world, she thought.

  “Were you friends with him?”

  He shook his head. “Never really liked him.”

  She nodded.

  “You know he didn’t even graduate?” he said as he began eating.

  She hadn’t even really thought about that until now. She felt like gagging for some reason. Why did everything feel like her fault?

  “So when’s ISS?” Lucas continued.

  “Next week. I just hope this doesn’t affect me getting into college.” Tears threatened to invade her eyes again.

  Lucas hugged her with his arm and squeezed her. “I’m sure everything’s gonna be fine.”

  Ariana was just amazed at how sweet Lucas was after what she and Mayra had said. There was no comparison to Carlos.

  ###

  Ariana and Jimmy got out of the car and headed inside their house. Their mom was already home, and Ariana was wondering whether she should tell her parents about the day of ISS she had gotten individually or together.

  Or not at all.

  Jimmy patted her shoulder as she went inside first. She had already told him what had happened, and he’d pretty much heard about it anyways. News traveled fast at school. From what he had heard, Wendy was not happy she hadn’t gotten the chance to fight back.

  “According to what I’ve heard, you’re now officially a badass,” Jimmy had said.

  “Not the reputation I was hoping for,” Ariana said. The attention she had gotten last year from the drama with Carlos had been more than enough to last her a lifetime.

  Maybe she shouldn’t tell her parents. That might just ruin things for her and Lucas.

  She put her stuff in her room and followed Jimmy back to the kitchen to see what her mom was cooking. Her second favorite. Tostadas made with shredded pork, lettuce, chopped tomatoes, sour cream, and extra hot salsa.

  “How was school?” her mom asked as she cut up the lettuce.

  “Good,” Jimmy said.

  “Ariana, did you see your boyfriend?”

  “Yeah. He walked me to class, and he’s in my Spanish class so we had lunch with Mayra and some other people.”

  “Remember, it’s not good to spend too much time alone with boys at your age. You’re still new at this, so it’s easy to get carried away, but what you do determines what kind of reputation you will have.”

  She almost wanted to say that this wasn’t her first time having a boyfriend, but she didn’t want to bring up the past. She settled for nodding and staring at the lettuce.

  “I got a day of in-school suspension.” There. She had said it. Quick, like ripping off a Band-Aid.

  Her mom put down the knife and put her hands at her waist. “You’ve been suspended?” Ariana cut in before her mom got into the full swing of her angry mood.

  “It’s in-school suspension. Just one day.”

  “What did you do? Does it have to do with Lucas?”

  “Some other girl was talking about me. Then she pushed me in front of everyone. So I pushed her back.”

  She looked at her mom.

  “How did this happen? Why didn’t you just tell the teacher? You should have let him resolve it. Then it would have just been that other girl in trouble.”

  “I know. I didn’t think. Not that the teacher would have been able to do much. The other girl, Wendy, would have lied. She lied to the assistant principal’s face.”

  Her mom shook her head. “What has this generation come to?” She resumed cutting some lettuce and began on the tomatoes.

  “So when do you have the day of in-school suspension?”

  “Next week.”

  Jimmy was browsing around the kitchen, looking for something to eat. He opened the fridge.

  “It’s really not that bad,” he said. “Most people would have gotten out-of-school suspension for being in a fight.”

  Ariana stared at him. He had said the word. It had not been a fight. Could have turned into one had the teacher not intervened. But it had not been a fight. No matter what everyone else said or thought.

  “And I mean, she had to defend herself, you know?”

  “There are other ways to defend yourself. Not just with your fists.” Ariana’s mom turned to her as she put the lettuce and tomatoes in separate bowls. “Is this going to affect you getting into that school?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.”

  “Well, if you went to school here, that wouldn’t be so bad. That would be one good thing that came out of it.”

  Ariana sighed. “Why can’t you understand that I don’t want to go to school here? The other school’s bigger and better. I’ve researched it. They have really cool dorms, free tutoring, and everything.”

  “I guess, in the end, it’s your choice,” her mom said, pinching her cheek. “You’re almost eighteen. We can’t tell you what to do anymore.” She sighed.

  chapter nine

  Ariana went to her room to lay down until her dad got home so they could all have dinner together. Then, she would tell her dad what had happened. Maybe he would take it as well as her mom had. Maybe.

  What her mom had said about her age was true. Her birthday was coming up in like a month. With everything that had happened, she had completely forgotten about it.

  She was going to be freakin’ eighteen. Her mom’s words rang in her head.

  We can’t tell you what to do anymore.

  How had she gone from being told what to do with every second of her life to this? To deciding what her life was going to be? If she got in early to UGA, she had to go there. It was part of the deal for applying early. Leaving her family behind would suck. Not having Mayra along for the ride would suck even more.

  Then another thought entered her head.

  Lucas.

  How could she leave without Lucas? He was smart. Not incredibly smart, but he got As and Bs. Had he even applied to UGA? What if he did but didn’t get in?

  They had just started their relationship, and this December when she found out if she got in to UGA might be the beginning of the end of it.

  She grabbed her phone and texted Lucas.

  Can you talk?

  Within a minute, her phone was ringing from Lucas’s call.

  “Hey, are you
okay?” He sounded rushed.

  “Are you at work?”

  “Yeah. But it’s not too busy. I have a minute.”

  “I just wanted to ask you something.”

  “Okay.”

  She took a deep breath. “What are we going to do in the spring when we go to college? Did you apply to UGA?”

  “Um, yeah, I was going to apply, I guess. I don’t think I’ll get in, though. And if I do, I’m not sure I can go anyways.”

  “Why not?”

  Silence.

  “I can’t afford it. My mom and siblings need me here. She’d never be able to handle everything on her own. Remember?”

  “Oh,” was all she managed to say.

  “I’ll be right there!” Lucas said to someone else. “Hey, I gotta go, but let’s talk about this later, okay?”

  “Bye.” She put her phone on her bed.

  She realized her life had just gotten much harder. She almost wished she was still being told what to do.

  ###

  The next day at school, Ariana and Lucas sat on their own at lunch. Lucas was already there, picking at his taco salad.

  “Hey,” he said as she sat down.

  “Hey.” She put her plate down and opened her drink before touching her food.

  “Sorry I never called you back last night or texted. I got home really late and fell asleep after taking a hot shower.” He put his arm around her and pulled her in for a small hug.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to apologize.” She said it without looking at him, just focused on her food.

  “You’re not mad?”

  She looked at him and smiled. “Why would I be mad about that? You work. Of course you’re going to be tired.”

  He smiled back. “Okay.” He took a bite of his food and a sip of his drink. “So about what you said yesterday.”

  She sighed. They hadn’t even been going out a week and already their relationship was in trouble.

  “What are we going to do?” he asked.

  “I have no idea. I really want to go to UGA. They have the best program for what I want to major in, which is business. And it’d finally be a chance to get away.”

  Now Lucas looked away.

  “Not from you. Just this. This town. This school. These people. I need that. I need to be independent.”

  He nodded.

  “I want you to come with me.”

  Lucas sat up straighter and stroked her hair. “You’d want to do that? Even though we haven’t been together even a month? Even though we’ve known each other less than two?”

  She nodded. “It feels right.”

  It was his turn to sigh. She knew what she was asking him. To leave his family behind, one he couldn’t leave behind even if he wanted. How could she ask him to do that? Because she was selfish, she thought.

  Lucas kissed her lightly on the head. “Let’s see what happens first, okay? If I can even get in. Then we’ll figure it out. I promise we’ll figure it out.” He kissed her forehead, and she closed her eyes, hoping they did figure their lives out.

  ###

  That Friday, Ariana looked out her window. Still no Lucas. But he would be here any minute probably. She looked at herself in the mirror one more time. She had looked up some new hairstyles on Pinterest and chosen a cool-looking kind of bun that didn’t look too hard. Mayra had given her some pointers on makeup and helped her pick out an outfit.

  Lucas had called her parents the other day and asked if he could take Ariana out for a few hours. No one had been more surprised than Ariana when they said yes, as long as she was back before eleven. Perhaps they really had liked Lucas then. And they had taken the whole thing with Wendy pretty well.

  Ariana saw headlights coming around the corner, and she went to the window to see if it was Lucas. She recognized his car and saw it pull into the driveway. She smiled, grabbed her purse, and walked to the living room, where her parents and Jimmy were watching TV. She’d offered to drop off Jimmy at the movies, but he had declined. Ryan would be coming over to watch a movie with him instead.

  “Just don’t get too crazy,” he had said while winking.

  As she sat down on the couch next to Jimmy, her father just stared. She looked down at her outfit. It wasn’t too bad, was it? Her mom just smiled and pinched her cheek.

  “Boyfriends, makeup, and skirts,” her father mumbled while he shook his head. She went over and hugged him, trying not to laugh. She was actually wearing a dress.

  There was a knock at the door, and Jimmy got up to go open it.

  “Come in,” she heard him say. She turned around and saw Lucas all dressed up and walking into her living room. He was kind of tall compared to the average Latino male, but he looked plain short next to Jimmy. Ariana tried not to stare at his perfect frame. Dress shirts looked really good on him. The sleeves were folded up, and he also wore dark blue jeans and brown dress shoes.

  Ariana walked over and gave him a hug. He squeezed back briefly before walking over to her parents and shaking both their hands.

  “Como estan?” he asked.

  Her mom smiled. It was obvious she liked his manners, and Ariana couldn’t help but think that was awesome.

  “I’ll bring her back before eleven.” Lucas said in Spanish as he took Ariana’s hand.

  Her parents nodded. Her dad looked kind of serious, but that was probably more because of the fact that Lucas was a male about to escort his daughter out of the house than anything else.

  “Have fun,” Jimmy said, not noticing the half glare from their dad. Ariana waved and they walked to the door.

  Once they were in his car, Ariana buckled in.

  “So where we going?” she asked.

  “You hungry?” he asked as he headed to town.

  Twenty minutes later, they were in a nice Italian restaurant downtown.

  “Have you ever been here before?” Lucas asked as the hostess walked them to their table.

  She looked around the restaurant. It wasn’t full, but a lot of people were starting to come in. “No, but it looks good,” she said as she saw a waiter with some plates of pasta walk by.

  “It’s delicious,” Lucas said as they sat down at a booth. The waitress handed them their menus and left.

  Lucas looked at her with a smile. His eyes bore into hers.

  She looked down and back at his eyes. “What?”

  “Nothin’.” But he wouldn’t stop smiling.

  She thought about their graduation, just a few months away, and what would happen to them. She tried not to think about it and instead wondered if Lucas was finally gonna kiss her tonight.

  ###

  At half after ten, Lucas and Ariana were walking out of the movie theater.

  “That movie,” Lucas said, “was hilarious.”

  Ariana laughed, remembering the scene with Chuck Norris. “I cannot wait until that one comes out on DVD so we can watch it with Jimmy and Mayra. They’re gonna love it.”

  “Maybe we can come and see it again with them sometime,” Lucas said.

  “Pay to watch it again?” she said.

  “Yeah. You’ve never done that?”

  She shook her head.

  “Oh my gosh. It’s the best. Nothing like watching your favorite movies on the big screen. We’ll have to do it in a week or two. It can be a double date, and maybe your parents will let us stay out longer.”

  “Maybe.” They got to his car, and he opened the car door for her. She got in, and he came around to get in himself.

  She rested her head back against the seat and closed her eyes for a minute.

  “You tired?” Lucas asked, rubbing her shoulder.

  “Yeah. I guess I just had a tough week.” She turned to him and took his hand in hers.

  “When do you have to do ISS?”

  “Wednesday.” She sighed. “Just want to get it over with.”

  “It’s not as bad as it seems.” She looked at him.

  “You’ve had ISS?”

  “Once
.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

  “What for?” She checked her phone. They had a little time.

  “Can’t remember. Maybe talking during a test or something like that.” Lucas stared at the ceiling as he talked.

  “You did that?” She studied his face, trying to imagine him getting in trouble.

  “I think I was laughing at something someone else said, and I got the blame.”

  Ariana laughed.

  “It was freshman year, and everyone hated that teacher. And she hated us.”

  “I hardly remember freshman year,” Ariana said.

  “Yeah, I want to forget it.”

  They laughed, and their eyes met. Lucas reached down and brought his lips to hers, hardly brushing her lips at first. But she turned her body and put her arms around his neck, trying to get closer to him in the cramped space.

  Lucas put his hands on her waist and kissed her harder. A groan escaped from Ariana’s mouth, and she felt a little embarrassed, but Lucas began breathing real heavy, pulling her closer. She realized he had been holding back before. And she was glad he wasn’t now.

  He pulled back, but his nose was still almost touching hers. She realized she was out of breath herself. Ariana looked at him, wondering why he had stopped.

  “Is this okay?” he asked, rubbing her hand.

  She nodded, and they were kissing again. His hand went back to her waist, but this time, it slid slowly to her thigh. Her hand automatically covered it. Then she slid her hand all the way up his arm instead, then onto his chest.

  Meanwhile, Lucas moved to her neck, and she closed her eyes. Not long after that, he pulled back and kissed her softly again on the lips.

  “I should get you home,” he said, looking at his phone and back at her. “We’re cutting it close.”

  “Yeah,” she replied, out of breath, even though she wanted to say no. Lucas had just blown away her expectations of their first kiss.

  chapter ten

  It was Wednesday, which meant ISS for Ariana. She was not looking forward to it.

  She finished her breakfast at the school cafeteria. Even the food sucked today. Breakfast was sausage biscuit, and she didn’t trust the sausage at all. She drank her orange juice and ate the biscuit with some grape jelly.