As we traveled north, the sky grew darker, and we watched some chick flicks with Robyn. It was fun to have a “girl’s night.”
I woke up the next day to the sounds of screaming fans outside the bus. Apparently we were skipping a hotel and going straight to the concert in Kansas City. We set up our merch table and took our familiar spots in the back of the theater during soundcheck.
“Can you believe there are only three more shows after tonight?” I asked.
Trina looked around the old theater, and took a deep breath in. “No, I can’t believe it. I don’t want to believe it.”
We took our posts back at the merch table and watched the concert. It was the first night since the beginning of tour where I felt at ease. Trina was back, and happy. The fans weren’t bothering me, and I didn’t have to bottle up my feelings around Logan. I was able to focus all my attention on the music, which was the real reason I was here in the first place.
I looked at the stage and watched the guys jumping around with their instruments and going wild. I didn’t hear the crowd yelling, or see the lights flashing; I could only feel the bass thump through my body, and Logan’s voice shooting shivers up my spine. How would I be able to live without seeing them perform night after night? If there was ever a moment to stop time, now would be it.
Chapter 17 – Denver
We all decided to make a pit stop at a service area near Topeka. The cashier probably thought we had the munchies with all the junk food we bought. For some reason, late night truck stops just made us all crave the sweet stuff more than usual. None of us were tired, so Trina, Robyn and I decided to join the boys’ bus for a late night movie. It was nice to cuddle with Logan, even though we weren’t alone. We somehow managed to cram the six of us in the back lounge together.
By the time we got to Denver it was early in the morning. We had a rare day off, and I was pumped for it. We checked into the hotel and showered, then napped for most of the day. I heard a knock on the door around dinner time, and opened it up after I saw two hot rockstars through the peephole.
“We’re taking you out for sushi,” Griffin said, entering our room with Logan following behind.
“Can we do that?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if we could go out in public, or what the exact rules were.
“Yeah,” Logan responded. “There’s no paparazzi in Denver, who’s gonna see us?”
I shrugged. He was probably right. Most of the fans knew about us anyway, but Griffin and Trina were pretty successful at keeping their business out of the public eye.
We left the hotel and took a cab over to the restaurant. As we walked in, all eyes turned on us, and I don’t think it was because the people there knew who the guys were, they just stood out from the usual Denver crowd. Logan wore tight dark jeans with a brown leather belt, a light blue button down shirt which was half unbuttoned, and a light grey blazer. A few necklaces were fastened around his neck, and his dirty blonde hair was swept across his forehead, strands falling down into his eyes. Griffin wore a black leather jacket over a white t-shirt, and skinny jeans. His curly brown hair was out of control, but he managed to pull it off with style.
As soon as we sat down, a girl ran up to our table. She just stood there, staring.
“Can we help you?” Trina asked, frankly.
“Um, um…” the girl stuttered out. “Sorry, I just wanted to say I’m a huge fan.”
Logan and Griffin smiled. Trina, not so much.
“Thanks,” Logan said, shaking the girl’s hand. “Will you be at our show tomorrow?”
The girl nodded, still staring.
“Very cool, see you there,” Griffin said.
She looked completely star struck and turned around to run back to her parent’s table.
“Wow, that was rude,” Trina remarked.
Here we go again… I didn’t know whether to chime in with my opinion, or just keep quiet.
“No, it’s cool,” Griffin said. “I think it’s fun being recognized.”
“Yeah, well, I think it’s rude that she interrupted our date,” Trina said.
I decided to stay out of it; I’d had enough of the drama.
“Trina, were you ever a fan of a band?” Logan asked.
“Yeah, duh, you guys.”
Did I hear what I thought I just heard? She outed us as being fans! I could kill her.
“Wait, what? I thought you were just friends of Jeff,” Griffin said.
“Oh, yeah, I meant, I’m a fan of you now…” she said, trying to recover.
“No, that’s not what you said,” Griffin said. Logan was looking at me now, his eyes narrowed. I looked away quickly.
“Seriously?” Logan asked.
“Well, yeah, I mean, we were fans…so?” I said.
“So?” Logan said, gripping his chopsticks tighter. “So, you deceived us. How do we know you were really into us, and not just wanting to date a guy in a band?”
My mind raced, how could I answer him? We did want to date them because they were in a band at first, but it doesn’t mean we don’t have real feelings for them now. This shouldn’t even matter anymore.
“Just because I was a fan of you, doesn’t mean this whole relationship is a lie,” Trina said.
I nodded along.
Logan crossed his arms and leaned back against his chair. “But it does matter. You acted like you had no idea who we were. You started off our friendship with a lie.”
“Would you have acted the same way towards us if we came up to you as fans?” I asked.
“Yes,” they both responded.
“That’s bullshit and you know it,” Trina said.
The table was silent. We couldn’t even look at each other. So much for a nice date night.
“Let’s go,” Trina said to me, and rose from her seat. I looked over at Logan, hoping he would tell us to stay, but he didn’t say a word. I stood up with Trina and we left the restaurant.
“Ok…what just happened back there?” I asked.
“I don’t know,” Trina replied, as we got into a cab outside. “But I’m so over this.”
“What? You can’t just leave again, I’m sure we can work it out with them.”
“No, he obviously doesn’t trust me, and I can’t handle these crazy fans anymore.”
“Trina, we can get through this, please, just stay, there’s only a few more days.”
She didn’t answer. We arrived at the hotel, and made our way back to the room. We changed and got ready for bed in silence. As I slipped under the covers, I let my thoughts get the best of me. Was this just a fight, or did he want to break up with me because of it? I couldn’t fathom being without him. The tears started to roll down my face, and I couldn’t control my sobs.
“Lacey, you’re gonna make me cry now,” Trina said, hopping into bed with me.
“What if this is it? What if they want us to leave tomorrow morning?”
“Seriously, don’t go there. I really don’t think I can break up with Griffin twice in the same month and keep my sanity.”
I grabbed a tissue and wiped my face. “I’m scared.”
“If they dump us, then it’s their loss, because we rock.”
I laughed a little, I’m glad she was able to keep her humor in the worst situations. And this was definitely the worst situation I’d ever been in.
Chapter 18 – Denver Day Two
I had hoped when I woke up that last night’s insanity would have been just a dream, but sadly, it was real. Trina forced me out of bed and we met Robyn for breakfast. All I could do was push around my cereal with my spoon. Robyn tried to make us feel better, but she wasn’t very good with advice. All she could really tell us was that boys are stupid, and that we’re better off without them. Yeah, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear…
We took the bus over to the venue and I was terrified to step inside.
“We can do this,” Trina whispered as we carried the boxes to the merch booth.
We set up the table slowly, an
d when I heard the first instrument begin to tune, I had to run back outside. Trina met me out there. It was the first time I missed soundcheck the entire tour, but it was just too hard to listen to them play.
“Maybe we should talk to them before the show,” I suggested.
“No, we didn’t do anything wrong! They should apologize to us!”
When soundcheck ended we walked back in cautiously. I crossed my fingers that Logan would hop off stage to come speak to me before the concert started, but it didn’t happen. The show started, and it was painful to listen. Of course the music was still beautiful, but when I heard Logan’s voice it hurt my heart in a way I didn’t know was possible. I hoped he still loved me, and that we could get past all this drama before the tour ended.
“Could this show drag on any slower tonight?” Trina asked.
I nodded. It did seem like it was going on for hours. When the show finally ended, and we sold and packed up the merch, I was still feeling optimistic. I thought that there was a possibility that the guys would meet us on our bus after they greeted the fans. But, we watched them walk on to their bus, and they didn’t come back out. This was not good.
“They hate us,” I said.
“They’ll come around,” Robyn told us. “They’re just being stubborn.”
We started our drive towards the West Coast and I climbed into my bunk, depressed and afraid. We had finally let each other know that we loved each other, and now this? I wouldn’t be surprised if Ryan was egging them on as well, I know that he hated us since the whole Jenna situation. I couldn’t fall asleep, my mind was racing, and I was too stressed to keep my eyes closed for more than five minutes at a time. I jumped out of my bunk and dragged myself into the lounge to watch TV. I found Trina already there.
“You know it’s two AM,” I said.
She nodded and gestured for me to join her on the couch.
“Maybe we should just apologize,” I suggested.
“But, we didn’t do anything wrong,” she said. “I refuse to give in like that.”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, we obviously hurt their feelings, let’s just apologize for that and then we can all go back to normal.”
“You can, but I’m not.”
I sighed, exasperated with her attitude. I pulled out my phone and texted Logan.
You up?
I was surprised when he texted back immediately.
Uh huh
I’m sorry…
I’m not doing this over text. Ask the driver if he can stop at the next truck stop
K
The driver said it was alright, and we’d be there in fifteen minutes. I told Trina what was going down, and she could meet Griffin out there if she wanted to. I’d never been so anxious in my life. What if he didn’t forgive me? What if he asked me to go home, right now? I would just die.
The bus pulled in to the truck stop in Grand Junction. Trina trailed behind me as I stepped off the bus. The air was cool and the only light was the bright neon gas station sign a few feet away. Logan and Griffin met us in the middle of the parking lot. They stood a good distance away, arms crossed.
“Logan, I’m so sorry for lying to you,” I blurted out quickly. “There’s probably no excuse that would make it right, so I’m not going to offer any. I’m just offering an apology and I hope that you can forgive me.”
Logan uncrossed his arms and looked over at Griffin. He had to forgive me; I would beg for forgiveness on my knees in this disgusting truck stop if I had to.
“Wait, wait,” Trina intervened. “What’s so wrong with us being fans?”
I looked over at her, hoping she’d keep her mouth shut. If she ruined this for me, I don’t know if I could ever speak to her again.
“So, we loved your music before we met you, and we looked at your pictures and thought you were hot. We didn’t know when we met you that any of this was going to happen. Griffin, I treated you just like any regular guy. I didn’t fawn over your rockstar status, and I didn’t tell you how before I met you I dreamt that I’d be with you one day. I wasn’t going to act like a fan and tell you I loved you when I first met you, because I didn’t…only after actually getting to know you, as a real person, and not just a guy in a band, did I figure out that I truly do love you.”
It was a beautiful declaration, and completely true. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder for support. I knew she was hurting just as much as I was.
Logan and Griffin looked at each other again. I tried to figure out their facial expressions, but they were pretty emotionless.
“Please, Logan,” I cried, letting go of Trina and stepping closer to him. “You know me, and you know I love you for you. God forbid you never made another record and never had another concert, I’d still love you and want to be with you.”
“Really?” he asked.
I nodded, blinking my tears back unsuccessfully.
He rushed over and hugged me. Pulling back, he wiped the tears from my face with his hand. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”
“Seriously?” Trina asked. “You’re afraid we’ll leave you guys if you don’t stay famous?”
Griffin shrugged his shoulders.
“You boys really are stupid sometimes,” she laughed. “Please trust me when I tell you that we would never do that, ever.”
She ran to give him a reassuring hug.
I felt like I just survived a near-death experience. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” I said, hitting his chest with my fist. “The past 24 hours were a complete nightmare!”
He laughed and ran his fingers through my hair. “Sorry baby; just promise to be honest and it will never happen again.”
I raised my right hand, “I promise.”
He looked down at me and smirked. “So are there posters of me on your wall back home?”
“Shut up,” I said, sticking my tongue out at him. Now he was just being evil.
“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he said. “It’s actually sort of flattering, and now when a teenybopper magazine asks me if I’d ever date a fan, I can say I have!”
“You’re gonna get it now,” I yelled, hopping on his back and playfully punching his sides.
“C’mon guys, we need to get back on schedule or we’ll never make it to Cali,” Robyn yelled out the window. “We have at least another sixteen hours to go!”
“Can we stop in Vegas?” Griffin yelled back.
“No!”
“Figured I’d try,” he said.
“So, do you guys want to join our bus for the next sixteen hours?” Trina asked.
“I’d feel bad leaving Ryan all alone…” Griffin responded.
Logan grabbed my hand. “We’ll go back to our bus, and you guys can keep Robyn company.”
I gave Trina a quick hug before running back to Logan’s bus with him. To think, I was on the brink of insanity only mere minutes ago. It felt like months since I’d felt Logan’s touch, even though it had only been a day. I didn’t want the tour to end, but I couldn’t wait to have him back in Boston with me. No shows, no crazy fans, just the two of us.
“Ryan’s already asleep, so we’re good,” Logan said, leading me down the hall to the lounge.
“I missed you so much,” I told him, looking him in the eyes.
“I could never stay mad at you for long,” he replied, kissing my forehead. “I was just a little freaked out I guess, I’m sorry.”
“No more apologies,” I said, putting my finger up to his mouth to shush him.
He growled and threw me down on the couch. “Ever hear the saying, make love, not war?”
I looked up at the beautiful man on top of me. His face was a little scruffy and his hair fell into his eyes; it was getting longer now. He grinned and traced his rough fingers down my sides.
I nodded in response to his question and closed my eyes, letting him make my fantasies come true.
Chapter 19 – San Francisco
Ryan stepped into the lounge holding a bowl of cereal. “Wh
en did this happen?” he asked, pointing his spoon at me and Logan.
“Huh?” Logan said, rubbing his eyes. He was still half asleep, and I was comfortably curled up beside him.
“Last night,” I explained. “We made up at a truck stop.”
Ryan shrugged his shoulders and turned around to leave.
“You can come in. I’m hungry anyways,” I said.
Forcing myself away from Logan’s warm embrace, I left the lounge to grab some food from up front. I was uncomfortable around Ryan anyway.
After grabbing a pop-tart, I rejoined them in the lounge. They stared at the TV intensely as they played a video game. Taking a seat next to Logan, I ate my breakfast and watched them play.
“Hey, Ryan,” I said.
“Uh uh,” he replied, keeping his eyes focused on the game.
“Um, I just wanted to say again that I’m really sorry about everything that happened with Jenna, and I hope we can be friends.”
He hit the pause button and turned to look at me. “I thought we were friends.”
“Well, you never really talk to me, so I guess I just assumed you were mad at me,” I explained.
“You haven’t said much to me either,” he responded.
“That’s true,” I said. “I’m sorry, can we start over?”
“Sure,” he replied, shrugging his shoulders.
“Ryan’s a man of little words,” Logan interjected. “Trust me, he has no issues with you or Trina.”
“Okay, good,” I replied.
Ryan nodded and they resumed their game. It was such a relief to have the tension cleared. Now I could focus on these last few days without any added stress.
I rested my head in Logan’s lap and fell back to sleep as we drove on towards San Francisco. When we arrived, Logan grabbed my hand, guiding me off the bus, and into the hotel parking lot. We met up with Trina, Griffin and Robyn and hopped in a van.
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