Somebody Love Me (Journeys)

by Michelle Sutton

  We walked into her home and it hadn't changed from what I remembered. She still had hippy beads hanging in doorways. The wooden floors shone like she'd just had them polished. Her fireplace looked even prettier than I remembered, with flowers carved ornately on the mantle to match the flowered woodwork on the staircase.

  "Will I have the same room?" I headed for the stairs and she laid a hand on my arm, stopping me before I could ascend.

  "I have an art studio upstairs and my bedroom is there, but I have a nice room reserved just for you on the main floor. You'll have access to the kitchen and your own bathroom and you won't be disturbed if I'm up painting in the middle of the night."

  "Okay, I just want to get settled. I'm exhausted."

  Aunt Laverne led me to the back of the house to a room off the kitchen. My guess is back at the turn of the century it had been a library. The shelves full of books kind of gave that away. But it was the large poster bed with the soft-looking quilt that captured my attention. It made my bed at home look like a cot in a cabin. I'd feel like a queen here.

  After setting my suitcase on a chair and pulling out a cozy nightgown, I slipped under the sheets to take a mid-day nap. I could unpack my things later. School started in a little over a month and I needed to rest up while I could. There was no telling what trouble I might find myself in once classes began. I hoped Aunt Laverne would know how to help me put on the brakes. I needed someone to be stronger than me.

  Chapter Twelve

  The summer was half over by the time I arrived at Aunt Laverne's. After a mere two weeks of boredom alone at my aunt's house, I'd already met a local guy named Chuck. School didn't start for another three weeks, so I decided to make the best use of my time and get to know him so I could say I had at least one friend in the neighborhood.

  Chuck told me he saw me getting off a trolley by myself and decided to walk me home. That should've creeped me out, but I'd been lonely and spent every day for the past week window shopping, so I figured why not talk to him? Come to find out we were practically neighbors.

  We chatted on my aunt's front steps until an hour before she was due to arrive home. Principals work over the summer, so while Aunt Laverne had plenty to keep her occupied, I had nothing going on. I'd read all the books in my room that interested me and I was tired of feeling lonely. Plus, Chuck was cute, and according to him, around my age.

  How much harm could a seventeen-year-old boy do to my heart after what had already been done? I needed a friend, and Chuck seemed like a nice guy. I heard myself rationalizing things to make me feel less weird about spending time with a total stranger, but this guy intrigued me. So I took a chance with him.

  They say idleness is the devil's workshop. I have to agree with that one, because having nothing to do made Chuck's company that much more welcome. It didn't help that my meager discernment had been filled with holes like a sock eaten by a family of moths.

  When I told him that my aunt would be home in a few minutes, he stiffened and said he had to go. Before I had a chance to say goodbye, he kissed me and took off running down the street. He called over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow."

  Finally, a guy who didn't seem to have a hidden agenda. We talked. That was it. So why didn't I know his last name, or where he lived? Then I realized I'd done most of the talking. He was a great listener, though.

  While he'd given me a quick kiss before running down the street, it was a simple, hurried kiss and not a slow, mesmerizing one with tongue involvement. Those tended to make my brain shut off until my hormones took over.

  Quick kisses were good for me. So was normal conversation. Chuck and I had talked about everything imaginable, including the weather. The only subject we avoided discussing was religion. Up to this point we hadn't run out of things to talk about, though, and none of our conversations had to do with sex.

  So far he was the best guy of them all, and he made a pretty good confidante. For some reason I'd always gotten along better with guys than girls. Now if I could just stop thinking about making out with him. I wanted to keep things innocent between us as long as possible. At least until we became close friends.

  Too bad what I wanted and my reality always ended up being two different things. After a week of chatting on my aunt's porch, we took our conversation inside. The constant drizzle outside made it difficult to talk without getting wet. That was my rationalization for inviting him inside.

  Then I told myself I'd keep him in the kitchen because that way we wouldn't track our wet shoes into the house. If we kept our shoes in the kitchen, I could get rid of the evidence from his visits easier. The fact that he wanted to come see me every day around noon made me smile. He said he worked the night shift as a security guard over the summer and didn't get up until ten or so every day.

  After several days of talking in the kitchen, we took our shoes off and sat on the couch in the front room. We hadn't gotten close enough to my bedroom yet to make me nervous, but in the back of my mind, I wanted to go there with him. Just being honest.

  The fact that he never tried to do anything with me made me that much more interested. Did Chuck not find me attractive, or was he waiting for me to make the first move? Other than a brief kiss goodbye after each visit, nothing else happened. Ever.

  Until the night I heard a light tapping sound on the back door, I'd kept most things above board with my aunt with the exception of telling her about my secret boyfriend. I was afraid she'd find out my new friend happened to be a boy and she'd forbid me to see him. I also didn't want to tell her I let him into her house while she was at work. She might decide not to trust me, and I wouldn't blame her.

  Hurrying before my aunt heard the noise. I threw on a bathrobe and got up to see who it was. Through the window I saw the silhouette of a young man. It had to be Chuck. The way he stood with his hands shoved in his pockets and his shoulders slightly hunched made my heart throb.

  I opened the door and pressed my finger against my lips. He slipped into the kitchen and we tiptoed to my room. Shutting the door behind us, I sat on my bed.

  "My aunts sleeps like a log, but I don't want her to hear us and come downstairs," I whispered. "Why are you here in the middle of the night?"

  "My parents are fighting again. Dad is drunk and when he gets like that sometimes he uses me for a punching bag."

  Though dark in my room, I could see the sheen of tears in his eyes from the moonlight shining through my window. Poor Chuck. I wanted to help him.

  "You can sleep here. I just need to make sure you leave before my aunt gets up to make breakfast, or you'll be stuck in here all day."

  "Really? You'll let me spend the night?" The hopeful look in his eyes nearly buckled my knees. He pulled me against him in a tight hug, and I couldn't help feeling like I'd saved him somehow. He needed me to comfort him. The vulnerable look in his eyes convinced me of that much. Maybe I'd finally found somebody to love me.

  Up to that point we hadn't touched all that much. A quick peck on the lips didn't mean a lot when compared to the other things we could do. Not that I planned to tear his clothes off or anything. I just wanted to help him in any way I could.

  When he released me, he gazed into my eyes. "Thank you, Missy. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

  "You're welcome." My attention slid to his mouth for just a moment, then returned to his face. "It's the least I can do for a friend."

  "Is that all I am to you, Missy? A friend?" His thumb caressed my cheek as he held my face, and then rested on my lips.

  The yearning I felt in my heart fanned into flame and I kissed the pad of his thumb, my gaze never leaving his. I wanted so much more than friendship right now.

  Chuck must've understood my need, or seen desire in my eyes, because he kissed me with reverence, and his lips caressed mine in a sacred dance. I'd never felt so special before. So treasured. So loved.

  It didn't take us long to fall on the bed. I helped him out of his clothes and once he was naked, he helped me out
of mine. We touched and caressed each other for hours. Nothing was hurried and everything felt wonderful. I could get used to loving a man like Chuck. In fact, by the time morning had arrived, neither of us had slept a wink, but my body was satisfied.

  A dog barked next door, reminding me to check the clock. It was six in the morning and my aunt never got up later than seven on the weekends. "You better go."

  Chuck studied my face and kissed me once more. "Can I spend the night again?"

  "Sure. If you come by after my aunt goes to bed, I'll let you in."

  "Awesome." Chuck grinned like he'd just won the lotto and kissed me once more. "I want to marry you, Missy. You need to finish high school first, but after you graduate, we'll get married, okay? I'll keep working and saving to support us."

  Was he serious? "You want to get married?"

  "Not right now. But after last night, I know I want to be with you forever. I love you, Missy. With everything in me. Say you love me, too."

  My pulse pounded so hard, I worried my aunt would hear my heart thumping all the way upstairs. "Do you mean it, Chuck?"

  "Of course I mean it. I wouldn't propose if I didn't mean it. Why would you even ask me that?" He frowned, but I wasn't afraid of him getting mad. He loved me.

  "I do love you. Okay, we'll get married. But first I need to accelerate my classes. I'm only a junior this year, but my aunt said if I work hard I can graduate a year early."

  "Then that's what you'll do. We'll marry right after you graduate. In the meanwhile I'll save everything I've got." He kissed me again, but this time it was fierce and full of feeling.

  The sound of something moving upstairs told me he needed to leave now or we'd be busted. "Hurry. My aunt's awake."

  The fear in his eyes and the hurried way he dressed almost made me smile. But I didn't want him to think I was laughing at him. My aunt wouldn't hurt a flea, but she did have the power to ground me. And that would mean no more nights with Chuck. I couldn't let that happen. Not when things were finally looking up.

  After that first night, Chuck spent nearly every night in my bed. When he couldn't make it, he would call me first. So after ten months of being trustworthy, I had no reason to doubt him. Not until the night of my graduation.

  I still hadn't told Aunt Laverne about him. I know, keeping a secret for a year was hard for me, but I guess deep inside I knew she wouldn't approve of him, so I didn't want them to meet until after we got married.

  But he'd promised he would come to my graduation and I hadn't seen him in the crowd. It was a small graduating class, so he would've been easy to spot. I'd never felt so disappointed in my life.

  My new girlfriends comforted me after the ceremony even though they didn't know why I was sobbing like I'd just witnessed my favorite pet get run over by a car. I didn't understand it myself. He hadn't broken up with me. He simply never showed up for my graduation ceremony.

  My parents were there, and I appreciated seeing their support, but that didn't make up for his absence. By now Chuck had become the love of my life. I know it sounds melodramatic, but in my heart I sensed something was very wrong.

  Then a sudden thought struck me like a bolt of lightning. His father must've kept him from coming. He warned me that his dad could be unpredictable, especially when he was drunk, so he didn't want me to meet his family. I remembered him showing me once where he lived, though I'd never gone to his house. Chuck had made me afraid to meet his father with all of the stories he told about how his father beat him when he was a kid.

  But it would drive me crazy until I found out what happened. So after my parents left to go to their hotel and my aunt retreated to bed, I got dressed and headed out to find out what had happened to my boyfriend. Thankfully there was a light on inside the house. Before I would knock on the door, I needed to make sure it was safe.

  So I peered through the sheer curtains to see who was there. Chuck sat on the couch watching television. He had his arm around a pretty girl's shoulder. Fury shot through my bloodstream and if I could have jumped through the glass to claim him, I would have done so in a flash.

  Until I saw them kissing. Then my heart just broke. I debated on whether or not to knock, then figured if we were breaking up, I wanted to be the one to do it. No guy cheated on me and got away with it. So I knocked.

  After several seconds, Chuck answered. "Missy? What are you doing here?"

  The girl on the couch behind him gazed at me with curiosity.

  "You were supposed to come to my graduation. Did you forget?"

  Why was I acting nice right now? I should rip the lips right off his face.

  "No. I couldn't go. My cousin came for a visit and I didn't want to leave her in the house alone. Sorry, I should have called."

  I glanced at the table and noticed for the first time an open bottle of whiskey and several small shot glasses. "Do you always drink with your cousin?"

  He smirked and glanced at the girl on the couch. "Not usually."

  I smelled the alcohol on his breath. Though he acted fine, when he stepped toward me he swayed a bit. He was drunk? Since when did he drink?

  "I saw you kissing her," I hissed.

  Chuck blinked like he had no idea what I was talking about. "Kissing who?"

  "Her!" I pointed at the girl on the couch and noticed her shirt gaped a bit and the buttons didn't line up right. Had they been screwing around, too?

  "Missy, it's getting late. Can we talk about this later?" Chuck nudged me toward the door. "I'll stop by tomorrow night. Promise."

  Did I even want him to stop by? Of course I did. I loved him. But now that he'd cheated on me what would be the point? "Don't bother," I snarled.

  Turning on my heal, I slammed the door behind me. I heard the girl ask through the walls, "Who was that?"

  "Nobody important."

  His response echoed in my brain. Nobody important? Had everything he'd ever told me been a lie? Had I spent the past year sleeping with a guy and falling deeper in love only to discover he was the same as all the rest?

  As I ran home to my aunt's house, I sobbed until my stomach hurt. In the morning when my parents left to return to New York, I was going to leave with them. I needed to get as far away from Chuck as I could before I changed my mind.

  I would enroll in the state college near my home town in the fall. I'd thought about attending the State University anyway, and now I was sure of those plans. No way was Chuck messing up my future too. I may have let him hold my heart for a while, but I was taking it back. He wouldn't hurt me again.

  THE END

  Journeys, part 2 coming soon. Look for Somebody Help Me next…

  Author bio:

  Michelle Sutton has been writing fiction for about nine years. With over fifteen edgy, inspirational e-books and novels in print to date, she is known by her fans for her controversial subject matter and edgy writing style. Michelle lives with her husband of twenty-two years in rural Arizona. She has two college age sons, a full-time career supervising social workers, and has an adorable little Mini-Pincher/Chihuahua mix named Dyno-mite, who is also lovingly known as "fuzz."

  Table of Contents

  Chapter One Summer 1982

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Author bio:

 

 

 
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